Observe Don't Absorb Technique Neutralizes Narcissistic Abuse. Narcissists Can’t Hurt You with ODA

I have developed I have developed

absorb

I have developed this on my own my own need to understand my relationships with

narcissists

as well as my work with my clients for the last twenty-six years is influenced by a saying by George Bernard Shaw Shaw and he said never never fight with a pig you get dirty and also the pigs like it and in other words codependents always lose the fight with an emotional manipulator and I help them understand that when they get into the ring or start fighting with the proverbial pig they always You will find yourself more powerless and at a disadvantage because the emotional manipulator thrives on control and power.

The emotional manipulator wants to draw the codependent into their conflict in their argument because that is where they know how to change, how to influence people and how to make them back down or Give them what they want, the codependent has to learn that when they are taken to the world of emotional manipulators it is analogous to ingesting toxins because, what happens if we stop, if we drink something that is toxic? We're going to get sick, so if we look at this and think that, well, we're not going to allow the emotional manipulator to bring us into their world because when we do that we lose our emotional control, so I suggest to my clients that they think. considers it a toxic environment that if you get involved, then you have lost your self-care perspective.

Codependents are controlled when they are dragged into the EMS. Emotional altercations. The pit too hard. Too tough adversaries, they always are. They are going to win when the coat when they are dragged into their argumentative, aggressive and manipulative world, so the

technique

of observing not

absorb

ing allows the codependent the main control to maintain control and I call it observing not absorbing as I teach my clients to artificially separating themselves from the client, I mean the narcissist, when they

observe

the

narcissists

, when they

observe

the narcissist, when they observe the alcoholic, they do not connect effectively or emotionally, so they are observing, but when they absorb, that means they are taking, they are participating. in this kind of dysfunctional dance where they have lost control and it's not that they are not in an environment where they can defend themselves and set limits, so essentially it is a conscious or healthy dissociation, it is an intentional emotional detachment, it helps to neutralize the power and control of EMS. about them, so if we use the

technique

of observing, not absorbing, we do not let the emotional manipulator get under our skin, we do not absorb the toxins, we do not allow ourselves to be dragged into their emotional world and become victims of it, we understand. . that being drawn towards it is like poison it's okay to look at the poison it's okay to pick up the bottle of poison but don't ingest it don't let it get inside you respect its pathological power so this is what some of These are some examples or instructions that I use with my clients who use the technique of observe, do not absorb, observe, do not absorb.

First of all, I talked about the saying pig wrestling and my codependent clients usually love it because it actually makes sense. I explained to them that when they are able to practice observation and not absorption, it gives them the home field advantage. What I ask you to do is pretend during these interactions with the emotional manipulator that you are an observer wearing a white research coat and you are observing a boundary, you are observing the emotional manipulator and if you can tune out and look at it from an observational point of view. , they are not emotionally connected.

I ask you to observe with curiosity and wonder. I ask you to look at your emotional manipulator and see how dysfunctional they are how manipulative they are I ask you to think about how unable the emotional manipulator is to manipulate you if you don't react looking and listening is the key instruction for my codependent clients and not reacting imagine that you are watching an instructional video. I ask you to imagine that you are watching a video depicting a narcissist and you watch it and as you watch the video unfold and you see the typical symptoms of a

narcissistic

person, I ask you to pay attention. these strategies the tiny manipulation strategies that the emm uses to try to draw them into the fight.

I asked them to look at the person from head to toe, to look at them and observe his facial reactions, to observe his body posture, which the more they see. them as individuals with psychological problems who are trying to manipulate them, the more they can step outside of reacting to them and simply observe them, the more power they have. I ask them to identify what that person is doing in real time to really tell themselves. What is he or she trying to do now to get a reaction to me? And the more they can answer that question, the more they can remain neutral and avoid absorbing the toxins of emotional manipulators.

I suggest you tell yourselves that you are strong and in control and keep saying it over and over like it's a mantra observe don't absorb observe don't absorb because if I absorb I will be prey and I will become a victim if I absorb you can control me but if I observe in control I do not get angry and my boundaries are solid I also ask them to respond do not respond emotionally keep your tone even keep your volume even and breathe deeply it is important that if you are going to remain detached if you are You are going to remain relaxed if you are not going to Giving the power to the emotional manipulator is to stay connected with your body to recognize that letting go of this control will bring stress, a wave of anxiety to bring the toxin to the toxins. to tell yourself it helps to recognize how powerful detachment is and to be proud of how healthy you are to recognize what you are gaining by staying disconnected, so I thank you for coming to this webcast.

You can find more information in or human magnet syndrome calm or through my book human magnet syndrome why we love people

hurt

us thank you and have a great day