The Secret to a Happy Life — Lessons from 8 Decades of Research | Robert Waldinger | TED

Because I ran this study. Whitney Pennington: We have a question for Nessa from TED. The question is, "As a mother of two young children, what advice would you give parents about building strong, healthy relationships now as adults?" Robert Waldinger: For parents, I recommend helping children pay attention to how they feel and learn that it is their choice to use their feelings so that they learn to love what they love and hold on to what they love, even if it is not something they love. people can do. Like very much. A mother told me that her son loved monologues.

She was only 12 years old and her friends didn't like it. So we talked about how to help your child feel supported to love what he loves and learn to improvise, right? That is, helping children learn that it is okay to like something different from what the other children in their group like and to continue loving what they love. Help children learn that not feeling

happy

is not a problem and that it is a temporary feeling and that feelings come and go. And rejection is not a problem. Families can be role models and parents can be role models for children.

Our opinions may differ. We can fix the matter and maintain these good relations even if there are differences of opinion. This is one of the best

lessons

we can help our children with, about how to use their feelings instead of being traumatized by their feelings or controlled by their feelings. Whitney Pennington: I wonder how you view your school prospects now. ROBERT WALDINGER: We're collecting more data, even as we speak. We collect more information from children. Most of the early participants are deceased, but all of their children generally belong to the boomer generation. That's why we're collecting information, including what

life

was like during the pandemic.

We collect information about how they use social media, which is something we've all talked about a little bit here. And I think in the future we will see that we want to make our data accessible to more

research

ers. We want to collaborate, and we are collaborating, with other groups of

research

ers. We say, come and use our data and ask new questions that never occur to you. Because we have this treasure trove of information about the lives of thousands of people. We will make it available to the public on websites, because many of our activities are funded by the federal government, through the US National Institutes of Health, with tax dollars.

Therefore, we feel a responsibility to make this information available to other researchers who have their own questions about our data. Whitney Pennington: Bob, you've shared so many wonderful things with us. I feel like the audience is listening and trying to take it all in, and at the end of this interview, what if you want essential information, if you missed everything, what would you like everyone to avoid, in the end? of this conversation? Robert Waldinger: If today you had to choose something that would make you healthier and happier, it would be to give importance to improving your relationships with others.

This is a good investment and you will reap the benefits for years to come.