Jordan Klepper Tackles Biden’s Blingy Fundraiser & Sam Bankman-Fried's Prison Time | The Daily Show

Let's start with the latest news Sam Bankman freed the disgraced crypto tycoon and the man who was bitten by a radioactive pubis has been sentenced to 25 years in

prison

for all his crypto scams, now hopefully he is okay, hopefully the Saga has taught people not to fall for easy money. scam that is Bitcoin Bitcoin on fire hit another all-

time

high yesterday Bitcoin hits another record the world's largest cryptocurrency surpassed $72,000 today a new all-

time

high for the use of Bitcoin college tuition accounts for kids sure, yeah, no problem talking about money, let's move Moving on to one of the founding principles of American democracy, the money came out today as President Joe Biden made history with the largest single-day cash raise of all time.

Biden's campaign just announced that his spectacular

fundraiser

in New York tonight has already raised. 25 million people, the event will feature former presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and a huge list of others. They will gather more than 5,000 supporters at Radio City Music Hall for this first-of-its-kind

fundraiser

, a group of supporters who will have a photo. taken by famous photographer Annie liebovitz of themselves and the three presidents surprise Biden Obama and Clinton all in one

show

it's like Coachella for the kids who asked the teacher for more homework. I mean, this fundraiser is serious, some people are spending $500,000 to be there and guys.

Sorry, this feels like $500,000 gross to access a president. I mean, that's not how democracy should work. Save that money for the Supreme Court. The judge knows much better for his money. He is smart. Shout out to an RV and a jet ski and you. You are there, I will say that it must be a unique experience to take a photo with three presidents and it is not just any photographer, it is Annie Lebovitz, perhaps the most famous photographer who took, that of Demi Moore pregnant and naked, uh, John Lennon hugging Yoko naked. Sting in the desert naked, the point is you're going to have to be naked, don't worry, Bill Clinton is way ahead of you so you'll be fine, totally fine, let's move on because while presidents rub shoulders in New York City , the rest of us have to deal with traffic now every city is all too familiar with the side effects of traffic delays, pollution, making someone swerve a mile behind and now you're stuck next to them for an hour, but now New York City could have done it.

I found a solution here in New York, the first national congestion pricing plan that will soon begin charging drivers a $15 toll to enter Midtown Manhattan. The MTA says 700,000 vehicles enter this part of the city every weekday and the new tolls will help curb congestion and potentially generate billions of dollars for public transportation improvements, but for many commuters in the city of New York they're saying no thanks, another $15 just to go to work, which is just absurd and for each and every one of you there's a special place in hell for You're okay, Lucifer is waiting for you, he's waiting for you, he sounds angry , but if you don't know, in New York, that's a typical greeting.

You know, hey, Jerry, Lucifer is in hell for you, motherfucker, how are the kids sad? Is she good? See, in the fall of Monory, you are now personally upset. I can see the advantages of congestion pricing. It's better for the environment. Reduce traffic. There are fewer cars on the road, so there's more room for delivery bikes to hit you, but people are understandably upset. and the last thing I want is angry drivers in New York. I mean, can you imagine New York is already too expensive? prices, let's go live to Grace kouen Schmid, yes, Grace now Grace, you are also a traveler like me.

I assume you'll suck it up and pay the congestion charge too. uh no, maybe you're a sheep, but I'm not, Grace. No, I'm not a sheep, that's what you sound like, Jordan, okay, I'm going to kill you and make a nice sweater. I'm not going to pay a congestion charge just because the law says I have to. That's not what America does. It's about reviewing your Constitution, brother, you mean the document that is a collection of laws, that's what you're talking about, okay, okay, Grace Grace Grace Grace, you can't avoid the fee, they'll have cameras that will catch you driving to the city, yes, on the roads, that's why I'm going to drive through the sewers, it's fast, it's efficient and you might run into a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

I mean, the Ninja Turtles aren't real, Grace, so I was hanging out with four normal teenage turtles, uh. For everyone's sake, I'm going to move on. I should point out that you can't actually put a car in the sewers. Alright? So how about this? The tariffs only apply to cars and trucks so I buy a Boing 737. super cheap right now those are those are really dangerous yeah flying I'm going to drive it idiot ok grace wouldn't it be easier to take the meter? No, it's hell down there Jordan, have you ever heard of Subway blinking? uh yeah, I know it's a big deal, yeah, a lot of people don't even react when you do it, everyone's on their phones, it's so painful, okay, than just taking the subway, there's got to be a better way.

I know I'm going to do it. I dig a tunnel under the chamber so I can avoid them and then over time I'll extend that tunnel to connect with different areas of the city, you're just describing it in the subway. I'm describing an underground utopia and I'm going to call it a subway. Okay, great, and everyone.