Loneliness and the Illusion of Connection | Thich Nhat Hanh, 2012.12.13

Last time we talked about home. And we know that once we feel at home, we no longer feel alone. If you are at home, you are warm, comfortable, safe and satisfied. So home is the place where

loneliness

disappears. But where is home? And the Buddha said very clearly that home is within us and that there is an island and that we have to return to this island ourselves and this is practice, not theory. Solitude is the new way of existence of our times. We feel very alone even though we are surrounded by many people. We feel lonely together and there is a void inside us that we are not comfortable with this kind of void, so we try to fill it by connecting with other people and we believe that when we connect with other people the feelings of

loneliness

will disappear. and technology supports us in this with many devices behind the purpose To connect and stay connected, we are always connected, but the feeling of loneliness continues, so we check email several times a day we send emails several times a day we send messages from time to time we want to share we want to receive messages and we are busy throughout the day to stay connected but that does not help with loneliness, thereby reducing the amount of loneliness in us which is what is happening at the present moment in our modern civilization .

Our relationships. we are not good we do not have a good relationship with our partner with our brother, sister, with our parents our society and we feel very lonely and we use technology to try to dispel the feelings of loneliness but we do not succeed in the Plum Village Tradition every time That we sit on the pillow means connecting with ourselves because in our normal life we ​​are disconnected from each other. We go but we don't know we go there but we don't know. we are there we are alive but we do not know that we are alive we are losing ourselves, we are not ourselves and that is what happens almost all day, so the act of sitting is a revolutionary act you sit down and cut it off and stop this state of being when you you lose when you are not yourself and when you sit you connect with yourself and you don't need an iPhone or a computer to do it, you just need to sit consciously and breathe consciously and in a few seconds you are connected with yourself and you know what is happening in your body, what is happening at the level of your feelings and your emotions, what is happening at the level of your perception, etc., you are simply at home. and you start taking care of what you left at home for a long time when home becomes a mess then coming home means sitting and being with yourself and connecting with yourself and accepting the situation as it is, yes it is a mess but accept it. because I left home for a long time and let these things happen at home.

So now I'm home and I can reconstruct everything with my inhalation and exhalation with my conscious breathing. I start to smile at everything and clean my house. I allow my body to release tension by inhaling and exhaling and the Buddha told us how to do this how to breathe and release tension in my body I am aware of my feelings of loneliness sadness fear and anxiety I smile at feelings of loneliness, fear or anxiety and say my Dear loneliness, I know you are there, I am at home to take care of you and make peace with my loneliness, make peace with my fear.

There is a wounded child within you, acknowledge it and gently embrace it in your arms as an act of coming home and caring for the home. Every time you take a step Whether you inhale or exhale, always come back to yourself, every step takes you home. to the here and now so you can connect with yourself, with your body, with your feelings and this is the real

connection

and you don't need a lot of technology and this is a revolution this is the way to heal and our society is getting lost, we are lost and we have We have to meet again, we have to come home again and Christmas is the time when you have to practice coming home, there is an

illusion

of

connection

.

You think you can connect with these technologies, with these devices, but you can't make a real connection with them. How can you connect with another person if you can't connect with yourself? So the Buddha's teaching of returning home, to the island of self, is the way to heal society and to heal yourself, so with the act of breathing, going in and out is the way When you give a step, you go towards yourself because this step takes you home, to the here and now, and helps you connect with your body, your body is your breath, your body is your feet, your body is your lungs and now you are connecting with the body, with breathing, with the lungs, you are at home because the body is part of your house, if you spend two hours with your computer you completely forget that you have a body and how can you be?

I live without your body, so at Plum Village many of us have a mindfulness bell program on our computer and every 15 minutes, when we hear this bell, we stop working, thinking and come back to the breath and enjoy the breath and the connection with ourselves and we smile. and to live again and see that we have a body that is a miracle, our body is a miracle and connection, first of all, means connection with the body and then there are feelings, whether they are feelings of sadness or loneliness, that we connect with our breath and out with awareness we inhale we connect with our feelings we smile at our feelings and say don't worry I am home and I will take care of you embrace your feelings gently whether it is anger or sadness and warm yourself with this type of exercise it is an act of true coming home and you don't need technology to do it be a home for yourself said Buddha be an island for yourself take care of yourself take refuge in the island within yourself, and this is the practice recommended by the Buddha, So, when you walk from the parking lot to your office, Why don't you return home with every step?

Why do you continue with worry, with suffering? Every step can take you home. Walking like the Buddha is the act of a free person. person, and it is possible to recover, connect with yourself with each step and freedom is possible and recovery begins and you are no longer lost you connect with the body, you connect with the feelings, with each step and each step brings you freedom and if you can find a home for yourself then you can help your partner find his because he also feels alone and is looking for a home looking for warmth and security so once you get a home you can go with your partner You can go with another person and you have a home, you will be in a position to help them have a home too and you will have confidence because you already know how to connect with yourself and how to be a home for yourself.

And this trust in you will inspire him to do the same, then he can find a home in you and he can lean on him and build a home in yourself, so before you go to help him, you first have to go help yourself. , you have to connect with yourself, and then when you can do that, the next step is possible and that is to successfully connect with the other person, but without the first step, there is a second step impossible and you don't really need an iPhone or anything like that. You need your eyes and look at the other with compassion even if the other is not in the same city you can connect very easily because now you are yourself and now you are at home and everything you say and what you think will help the other to recover when they are able to return to each other then their relationship becomes a real relationship because they both have a home and that is why they got together - to find a home in each other at the same time as each in themselves and this is a common home for both here is home and here is home and this is the collective home for both and this is the basis of everything if a person wants to help society if he wants to help the community if he wants to help his country then this will be the When you have a real home, then you have happiness, security, satisfaction and you are in a position to get closer to other people, whether it is an individual, a company or a group of people.

This is the path designed by the Buddha where everything begins with oneself and this teaching and practice is given very clearly in each breath, each step, each session, each act such as drinking, cleaning, etc., if done consciously, it helps you. to return home and enjoy the wonders of life around you and in you. Your body is a miracle, a hill, a clean stream - all these are miracles and have the power to heal. My brother F. has been trying to put these thoughts together and write them down so they can practice during the Christmas season to come home, heal themselves, and help heal the world.