Food Theory: McDonald’s Free Food is a SCAM!

Did you know that right now you can win McDonald's for life? Yes, you heard me. A chance of a lifetime to stuff your face with Chicken McNuggets like it's your job. All you can eat fries, ice cream every day the machine isn't broken. The McDonald's McGold Card, which provides you with

food

for life, is amazing. There is only one drawback. McDonald's hopes you die very soon. Hello Internet! Welcome to

food

theory

. The only show that never misses an opportunity to talk about fast food McDaddy. No one, not even me, is going to argue about the nutritional value of fast food or whether you should eat it every day.

But there's no denying that the idea of ​​receiving

free

food for life is like the ultimate goal of a dream. Just look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs here. Here there is literally this lower level, the basic needs upon which everything else is built. And look. Sleep, drink, and oh yeah, right in the middle: food. Imagine being able to eliminate it for your entire life, no matter what. Lose your job, lose all your money. But knowing that you will always be provided with food would be incredible peace of mind for your entire life. That's pretty surprising. And this can be achieved with a little piece of plastic, the McDonald's McGold card.

Believe it or not, this is a real thing. About a month ago it was in the headlines because, for the first and only time, McDonald's was planning to give away one of these puppies. You see, as part of their SZN of Sharing event. I don't know who they're trying to be hip to with that kind of spelling. McDonald's is offering lucky winners the chance to get a McGold card, and not just for themselves, but for three of their friends as well. That's how it is. Pass the fries. His own team of theorists could share in this greasy victory.

However, being a theorist, my enthusiasm quickly turned to skepticism. Because I know that when you're offered something that sounds too good to be true, whether it's shoes that magically make you lose weight or this golf club that doubles as a port-a-potty, there's got to be a problem, right? What if I get this magic card from McGold? What am I really getting into? What is the fine print on “lifetime” promotions like this? Well, folks, we took a closer look at this ultimate McPrize and discovered that the McGold Card is actually a little more edgy than edgy. To begin with, for people like me who even doubted that this kind of thing existed.

In fact, there is a McDonald's lifetime card known simply as the McGold Card. But the surprising thing is that this is nothing new for McDonald's. Turns out the OG of cheap cheeseburgers has been secretly handing out these babies since the restaurant's founding. In fact, it seems like most casual chains like Chipotle or even Burger King have been known to ship these things from time to time. David Dobrik is rumored to have a Chipotle celebrity card and has been able to team up with the burrito baron to give it to a fan. That said, today I'm focusing on McDonald's because it's one of the oldest, which matters when you're talking about a lifetime award.

It is also by far the most mysterious, even being known as an ancient secret in promotional marketing. As a sad non-recipient of one of these beauties, I first started researching who actually has them to get an idea of ​​who makes the cut. And of course, who would be more deserving of

free

food cards for life than the richest people in the world? I'm so glad those billionaires are getting a little head start on buying their latest McGriddle. The world is so broken. You can see what I mean. The first official McGold card was presented to the mayor of St Louis in 1965 as part of a dedication ceremony for the Gateway Arch.

Since then, the exclusive McGold Club has initiated the likes of Bill Gates, Rob Lowe and Warren Buffett. Even the king of Sweden is supposed to have gotten one of these. Eat your heart out at Burger King. The real king has spoken and apparently he loves it. Bata ba pa pa pa. Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's, quotes: "he was known for casually giving them away to people from time to time." And because these cards, which were originally known as Be Our Guest cards, have been distributed over decades. There are almost no two cards alike. Some, like Warren Buffett's card, only work in Omaha, Nebraska.

While others like George Romney, the father of politician Mitt Romney, work around the world and the McGold card is anything but uniform. It's hard to say which celebrity got the best deal or if the one advertised in this 2022 promotion is standard in any way. But it's the closest one I can reach, so that's the one I'll focus on today. Now, if you're like me, the chance to win a McDonald's for life sounds like an absolute dream. Unless my 2023 resolutions actually happen, I'll be eating more Chicken McNuggets between meetings than I did when I was a kid.

I also learned that eating a Big Mac is much tastier than eating the Christmas tree. So I'm going to look for one of these cards along with everyone else. The way this particular contest worked was that, before Christmas this year, you could enter to win the card if you were a US resident 16 years of age and older. But what exactly were you gaining? Sure, it says McDonald's for life, but what does that translate to? Well, according to the definition of the McGold card in the fine print of the giveaway, what you're winning is essentially gift cards worth a total of $1,040 per year for the next 50 years.

So to start, right away, you can see from this line alone that the card is far from unlimited in both money and time. Let's first look at the big picture: when you're actually available to use this card. McDonald's hopes you will enjoy your food for a lifetime, but they hope you won't live that long. The minimum age to enter the giveaway is 16 and the card expires after 50 years, meaning a lifetime at McDonald's means collapsing at the age of 66, presumably from eating McDonald's every day for 50 years. It's not exactly a huge vote of confidence, says Mickey D, that in 2022 an entire lifetime will be considered below retirement age and almost three decades below the national average life expectancy of 79 years.

Interestingly, in 1955 when McDonald's was founded, the average life expectancy was only 67 years in the US. So I guess they were much closer to the mark back then? But that is not the only thing that is experienced in the past with this promotion. Let's look at the cold, hard money involved, which translates into those cold, hard burgers. $1,040 per year they give you as part of this MC Gold card sounds pretty decent, right? And that's certainly a lot of buds to keep in my cup. But let's look a little closer. This amount actually represents $20 per week or only about $2.85 per day.

Looking at the McDonald's menu, with average prices in US dollars, you can see that most items cost more than $2.85 and none of the prices include tax. In

theory

, you can get a very simple single sandwich a day or a single serving of chips, but not both. And you definitely won't be diving into any kind of special sandwich. Nothing that contains “Double”, “Deluxe” or “Meal” in the name. And almost no cookies, pancakes or desserts for breakfast, except the plain cone. Which, ironically, you won't be able to access anyway because the ice cream machine will break. If you're talking pure calories, the most you can order per day is the Sausage Egg McMuffin, a bargain at $2.50 for 480 calories.

Or if you don't mind moving straight to dessert, you can order a chocolate shake for $2.79. Getting you a whopping 520 calories, although you may have to carry a couple extra cents in tax depending on which state you're in. There's probably a theory in here somewhere about whether a human can survive on a single McDonald's milkshake. and free water from the drinking fountain every day. But you can imagine that even if it were possible, the situation would become quite dire. And over the course of 50 years, we are facing a health disaster. Fortunately, I don't have to crunch those nasty numbers because there's more red tape with the McGold card.

Look, you can't use this card at McDonald's every day. At the risk of adding more salt to the wound, I should probably clarify that that $1,040 they give you per year is only expected to go toward a maximum of two meals per week. In a strangely ironic twist, not even McDonald's wants you to eat McDonald's every day. Basically, you're taking that $20 a week and either getting it all at once or splitting it over two visits. McDonald's doesn't clearly define what constitutes a meal in its legal language, so presumably that doesn't mean you have to order a predetermined meal from the menu as long as they were purchased at the same time and presumably eaten together.

So, since we no longer have to stick to our $2.84 per day limit, how can we maximize the bang for our buck based on the most calorie-efficient items on the entire menu? For the sake of consistency, let's say we go once a week and use as much of that week's $20 as possible to buy as many calories as we can. How do I get the most out of my McGold card? Ironically, it's not the burgers or fries that I'll be targeting. They are actually breakfasts. That's how it is. Among the most calorie-dense dishes on the menu are the pancake breakfasts, which provide a staggering 1,350 calories for just over five dollars.

The second place is the McChicken, not because it has more calories than other sandwiches, but because it is very economical: just $1.79. Rounding out the top three is a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, which is a great buy at $2.50 for almost 500 calories. So, strategically, we should buy as many pancake breakfasts as we can, with the remaining change going toward McChickens or cookies to maximize our calories and minimize the money we leave behind. With that very clear path forward, all we need is some simple calculations. With $20 we can buy three and a half Hotcakes breakfasts since we cannot have fractional purchases.

What this means is that we spent $17.37 on pancakes and the remaining $2.63 on the sausage and egg biscuit for $2.50. With only 13 cents left over, we have managed to buy 4,530 calories per week. This is equivalent to about 236,000 calories a year at free McDonald's. So what does that translate to for real people? Is this enough to move forward? Humans on a 2,000-calorie-per-day diet would get enough calories for 117 days a year from their McGold card. Leaving 248 days a year, more than half of the year, with nothing. Over the entire lifespan of the card, the winner would only receive enough calories to live about 16 years, not 50.

So this card could be promoted as McDonald's for life, but it's more like McDonald's for the median crisis age. And then there's the other elephant in the room, what really kills this card and the one thing no one considers when they see the promise of a lifetime of McFlurrys, you see, they can promise you the same amount of money. on your McGold card every year for 50 years, but they don't guarantee the food you can buy with it. Friends, the days of 50 cent burgers are over, budget menus are dying. The Big Mac now costs more than 11 times what it did when he came out because of one killer word from Big McGold: inflation.

Over the past 22 years, the Big Mac has seen an annual price increase of about 3.9%, from $0.45 to now costing $5.15. This is a total increase of 1,044%, which is a combination of pure inflation plus rising labor and food costs over time. Over the next 50 years, those burgers will get more expensive, but your McGold card won't match it for sure. We all feel that in 2022 inflation exceeded 8% in a single year. The purchasing power of that McGold card will decrease as the years go by, possibly having a tenth of the purchasing power it has today by the end of its life in 2072.

To really show you what all this means today, a Big Mac meal which contains the burger, along with medium fries and a drink costs $8.39 at my local McDonald's. But if its trends persist in 50 years, I'll probably pay closer to $56.82. In 50 years, the McGold card, as it is marketed today, may allow you to purchase fewer than 19 meals a year, not even enough for one meal every two weeks, let alone two meals every week. This is far from what was promised. And here's the thing, friends. McDonald's has also been around for the past 50 years. Presumably, they know what happens to prices over time, but they may be counting on the fact that people who enter the lottery when they're in their teens and twenties aren't that smart.

So is there a way to beat the system and make the prize worth it? Okay, yes. There is another way to use your McGold card if you really look at the fine print. And that might be the only path to victory that doesn'tinvolve heart disease or losing a lot of food due to inflation. You see, McDonald's advertises one prize here, but they actually offer you two. If you look at the section of the official rules titled Prizes, you'll notice that an alternative prize is offered: a McGold Card worth $1,040 for one year and a check for the remaining $50,960.

Actually, this is the real jackpot of this game. Instead of watching your money buy fewer and fewer burgers over the next 50 years, you can cook something better. You can invest. This option to take the cash now, all up front, is the infinitely better prize in this situation. You claim your winnings while they're still worth the promised value, and then you do the uncool thing of investing them. Not in things like hamburger coins or a Ronald McDonald NFT or anything like that, but, you know, like real investments. If that's true. You won't be able to show your McDonald's McGold card except for the first year, so I guess the clout of saying "I'll get free McDonald's for life" is lost.

But the fact of the matter is that you never had so much free McDonald's to begin with. And McDonald's, being a smart and responsible company and not a YouTuber giving away Lamborghinis, has also included taxes on the amount incorporated into the prize. So you get almost $20,000 extra just to make sure you can pay your taxes on that $50,000 cash prize. So when they say you can keep 50 grand, you actually keep 50 grand. And what happens to that after 50 years? Well, with a small 3% appreciation rate, keeping pace with inflation, your $50,000 would become $219,000, which is a lot of churn. With a moderate and completely feasible profit of 6% per year.

After 50 years, your investment would be $921,000, just under $1,000,000, all because you decided not to buy a few pancakes a week. Hey, maybe the prize McDonald's is giving away is pretty good after all, as long as you don't use it to buy burgers. But hey, that's just a theory. A FOOD theory… Sorry, guys. I'm losing my voice. Hi Editor-in-Chief Dan, can you bring me the final card? I'm losing my voice here. It's for our godfather ritual. I have it written and everything. All you have to do is read it Umm, sure man. Yes, I have you. Just rest your little voice.

Oh my God. You are a lifesaver. Dan, just one thing. Make sure you stick as closely word-for-word as possible. I already have it approved by the brand. And if we start mixing things up now, we'll have to approve it again. And then Jason will be mad at us. And you know how Jason gets. No problem, boss. But hey, since we're talking about investments you can make in the New Year, thanks to your McGold Card, do you know what is the most valuable investment you can make? in your own health, thanks to our sponsor for today's episode: Ritual.

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