How To Not Take Things Personally | Don't Get Offended

Oh my goodness, not taking

things

personally

is so hard, it's such a complicated thing to do now, the good news is that we can get better at this through practice, in fact we can learn to develop a little thicker skin. This doesn't mean that there still won't be

things

that sometimes get in there and really throw us off or really bother us or really hurt us or make us question or doubt or doubt ourselves, but there are some things we can do to learn not to

take

the wrong decisions. things so

personally

or at least recover much faster than before if you are new to me and this is the first time we connected.

My name is Julie and Christina and I am a registered research therapist and online course creator. I have a master's degree in counseling psychology and work to help men and women overcome the shit that holds them back so they can love themselves and their lives more every day and

take

things personally and real. Getting stuck spinning in our heads, beating ourselves up and letting ourselves get depressed when someone says or does something that we simply mind read, guess or assume is personal is not good for us and the truth is that most of the time very little is actually personal.

Now that we have a couple of things going on here, let's talk about three things we can do to learn not to take things so personally that we can get to work right away, but there are a couple of different things that happen when we take things so personally. things personally, so on the one hand, when someone is open with their criticism or their rejection or anything they've done or said that's not very nice, and that's happening. That's very overt and obvious, but then there's the other part, the mind reading part, oh, they must have been thinking that, so they probably assume this or what if this was happening and then we take it personally, we just we make assumptions and read. into things and pretend we're telepathic and can read people's minds and then let that send us into a tailspin, neither of these are good, but let's talk more about the former, more about when someone does or says something . us really openly it's not very nice or it's a little hurtful or even a little bit hurtful sometimes we can take something even quite small and spiral without much of what they did or said, but we do it because we are relational Beings because we are many Of us, not all of us, but a lot of us are really sensitive, we don't want to feel like there's any kind of disconnection or discord in relationships, so the first thing we need to remember is like I said a minute ago, very little if anything is personal and So what do I mean by that, even if someone is being rude, nasty, cruel or judgmental, chances are, especially if you haven't done anything to deserve it, it's because of them. they're going through their own shift it's because they're having a bad day it's because they feel vulnerable or insecure they feel bad about themselves and that's why they take it out on you and then we know you know Many times when people are struggling they like to try to getting better at putting someone else down, so it's not about you, it's about them and they take it out on you and you know the saying, you've probably heard it before. we hurt people we hurt people so it only comes from our heart to hurt someone else when we feel good and comfortable and confident in ourselves and sure of who we are, we don't think about going around tearing other people down and calling them down. and Trying to make other people feel small and insignificant, so little or nothing is personal, the next thing we can do is get to know ourselves and really work to know who we are, what we are about and what our strengths are and what they are. our weaknesses and just paying attention to ourselves and so that if someone says something nasty or mean or critical, we can take a second and say, Is that consistent with who I know myself? be I know myself well and that person who calls me that or says that thing to me that person who tells me that I am a failure because I was not successful is this one thing or these two things no, I know I am not a failure I know that I have had failures I know I haven't always done everything perfect but I'm NOT a failure so get to know each other well if someone tells you oh you're so stupid if you know you're not stupid, if you know that you're actually quite bright and intelligent now, it doesn't mean you know everything above all all the time, but really be clear about how to know yourself and these are some really superficial examples, but but knowing yourself well will help you to be able to deflect those things very easily because you know what has no weight that does not sticks that is not true and therefore it is not personal, it may not be something that I am going to get completely out of shape because it is simply not true, I know myself and that is not congruent, but then there is a third and the third which is actually very important to do and we also do it.

I don't usually talk about this thing that if someone has said something to us that is not very nice, they have been a little critical, they have been rude, they have been unpleasant in trying to read between the lines and extract the evil from it and take the type of what what they are saying and to be able to ask ourselves in these times if there is truth in this now if they said to me oh my God, you are such a selfish and self-absorbed narcissist, you know they probably could have said that not in such a harsh and unpleasant way, but being able to to take a second and be able to say, “okay,” did I do something that seemed selfish?

Were you acting selfish in that situation, so be mature about it even if you weren't? being mature and how they said it being able to take a minute and reflect and be honest and say you know what maybe I was acting a little selfish that time, taking personal responsibility for our things instead of just saying I'm not listening to them you know that they're just being nasty, they're just being mean, which seems fair enough to them, it's not the best way to talk about how they feel by criticizing or condemning or judging, but being able to take a second and say that's okay. there's some truth to this, there's something that maybe I need to work on, it doesn't mean I'm going to say I'm a terrible, horrible, horrible, selfish, self-absorbed person and now everyone knows it's just being able to be. responsible and say: you know what is true in that, there is something that I need to work on here and it is very important that we are aware that we are honest with ourselves and that we take the time to reflect on these things and not spiral down. to look at the bigger picture and see if this person is going through their own thing.

Do I know myself and is there anything I can really reflect on and learn from this? The latter is difficult to do, but it is powerful and important to be able to do it as well. A great way to learn to be more connected to ourselves and understand ourselves and much more in tune with ourselves is to learn to be more mindful to be more present to pay. better pay attention to what is and I have a free mindfulness audio exercise for you that you can do anytime, anywhere. You can grab the link below and if you're new to my list, when you get the audio, you'll also get a link to a video. that playing mindfulness is simply learning to be more present without judging, without evaluating, just noticing what is and that is a great way to know ourselves better.

Come join our Facebook group if you haven't already. Good for me. group communication is full of some of the most genuine, warm, encouraging, empathetic, charming, fun men and women come to me group communication. I'll put the link below if you haven't subscribed to the channel, like the video, share it, leave your comments. I'd love to hear some things you've done that will help you not take things so personally. The more we can share knowledge in our community and help each other, the better until next time, take care of yourself.