Mr. H - SNL

♪♪♪ WHO IS THIS? LOOK AT THIS GUY. IT'S THAT MR. H.? THAT'S MY SCHOOL TEACHER. WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? Hey. I thought I could find you here. I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU MUCH AT SCHOOL LATELY. YES, LET ME GUESS, You came all this way to bring me back, right? What's the point, Mr. H.? DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO BE A GREAT COLLEGE SUCCESS STORY? IS THAT SO CRAZY? YOU'RE WATCHING TOO MANY MOVIES, DUDE. THE BRAVE TEACHER COME DOWN TO THE HOOD TO SAVE HIS GIFTED STUDENT FROM THE STREETS, RIGHT? WHAT I'M GOING TO HEAR NEXT, MARCUS, YOU HAVE POTENTIAL.

YOU DO IT. CORRECT, AND NEXT, MARCUS, ARE YOU SMART? YOU ARE SMART. THEN IT'S LIKE, MARCUS, YOU'RE A GENIUS. MARCUS, YOU ARE A GENIUS. AHH. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU'RE A GENIUS, MARCUS? GENIUS IS DEVELOPED TOO MUCH THESE DAYS. BUT I WILL SAY YOU ARE VERY BRILLIANT AND I BROUGHT YOU THIS. IT'S YOUR S.A.T. RESULTS. MAN, I THROWED THAT IN THE TRASH. AND I TOOK THEM OUT. I THINK YOU SHOULD SEE HOW HE DID YOU. MAN, OPEN IT. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CARE. EVERYTHING WELL. WELL, YOU HAVE AN 880. 900? HERE YOU HAVE. OH, MARCUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THESE STREETS WHEN YOU GOT A BASICALLY PERFECT S.A.T?

SCORE? NO, YOU DIDN'T. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT, CRAIG? I KNOW IT HAS A SCORE OF 1600, AND AN 880 IS PRETTY BAD. SHUT UP, CRAIG. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FACE IT, MR. H.? I'M NOT YOUR HOOD TO HARVARD SUCCESS STORY, OKAY? NO, HARVARD IS DEFINITELY OUT OF THE QUESTION. BUT I THINK THAT WITH A LITTLE STUDY YOU CAN REACH 1100. THAT'S STILL NOT SO GOOD. YES IT IS, TUNE. IT'S BETTER THAN ANYONE HAS BEEN HERE. I ACTUALLY HAVE LIKE A 1260. WELL, YOU'RE BUYING WEED RIGHT NOW, SO YOU CAN GO. I'M JUST WAITING FOR MY CHANGE. I GAVE YOU $100 10 MINUTES AGO AND YOU STILL HAVEN'T GIVE ME THE CHANGE.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT, MAN. $60 OF WEED -- ARE YOU USING A CALCULATOR FOR THAT? TAKE A HUNDRED OFF -- IT'S 40. GO SMOKE YOUR WEED, MAN. COME ON, MARCO. TORO MORDA, BROTHER. I MADE A DECISION, MR. H. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU BROUGHT YOUR TIE AND YOUR SHIRT HERE, MAN. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FOR ME? I WAS REALLY HOPING TO GET SOME MUSHROOMS. I HAVE A BACHELOR PARTY. I promised my friends I would pick some mushrooms. IF POSSIBLE, MAYBE GET THEM BEFORE NEXT FRIDAY? YES, I THINK WE COULD DO BUSINESS. NO. THIS IS A TEST, RIGHT?

ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LEARN? NO, DEFINITELY NOT THAT, I WANT TO TRY TO BUY SOME MUSHROOMS, EITHER FROM YOU OR FROM SOMEONE YOU KNOW. YES MAN, COME TOMORROW. EVERYTHING WELL. MARCUS, I HOPE TO SEE YOU IN CLASS SOON. ME, MR. H. YES? WHAT DID THE GUIDANCE COUNSEL SAY? ABOUT WHAT? AFTER YOU SHOWED HIM MY ESSAY, HE TOLD YOU SOMETHING. WHAT DID HE SAY? HE SAID IT WAS A LITTLE ALL OVER THE PLACE. LIKE ME.