Sean Lock: Our Favourite Moments

so I wrote one and I'm really excited about it. I think it will be popular not only with children but also with their parents and I have reworked an old classic and it is The Tiger Who Came for a Pint. is a charming story that combines two of my favorite things, which are tigers and alcohol. I would like to read the story to you now. I have to use Suzy's pen camera. The tiger who came for a pint. Now once upon a time there was a tiger. who fancied a pint, not carling of course which was too weak and fizzy, wanted a pint that packed a punch like stella or cronenberg, the tiger was thirsty and needed something to drink from the zookeeper who was just eating, he liked the atmosphere of the weather spoons.

Furthermore, he was excluded from the king's head for maiming the dark current tiger. He drank his pint leisurely next to the quiz machine. Soon, with the beer and McCoys roasting over the fire, he spent all his money, but he didn't when George went to the basement to clear the line of the strong bow the tiger drank all the beer from all the barrels and all the rum he had. they were saving for the Caribbean night then she ate the meat raffle a very naughty tiger then went to the bathroom at the bar she's going to sell millions we're I'm going to have to call you a mini taxi home, the tiger said George, the assistant manager, bursting out with the seller, where do you want to take him to the zoo, fools, idiots?

So George, the assistant manager called the tiger a taxi, it took a while to get one because the first two drivers they sent said are you crazy? Finally, Pavel got out of the station cars, the journey went smoothly and finally, after many questions, the tiger said, look for the last time, it's not a monkey, if Spoon's deputy director George never saw the tiger or Pavel the station. car driver never again this show still goes off no no no no i can't watch yet oh my god don't

sean

you don't want to ruin it oh sorry it's an awesome game okay john and

sean

this is a bluffing game john in front of you there is a red box surely in front of you there is a gold box there is a carrot in one of these boxes I know it is something exciting the objective of the game is to finish with the carrot it is a bluff game when we do the riddle Sean leaves okay john you want a carrot sean you want a carrot but there's only one carrot let's play it's a brilliant game shut up stupid stop ruining christmas why are you ruining christmas merry christmas well you are this is learning christmas look at his little face he's excited to play you have to ruin it for everyone yeah, i can't wait to win this carrot okay, let's play carrot in a box okay sean, can you look inside your box john, can't you look inside your box, okay, you want the carrot, Sean, no, no, no, don't put your hands in the box, you can look inside the box, have you looked, have you seen, yes, okay, now you have to convince John to change his box if you think he has the carrot or keep your box it's a bluff game the winner is the one with the carrot oh I'll take this stupid gay ok you have a choice do you want to trade?

I mean, he seems sure there's a carrot in there. There he has seen the ground in this game, what do you mean by Jimmy's blossoming? It's a single shot. They're Sean plotting. Does he have a carry in his box? It's a real dilemma for me Jiminess, well he can choose it, yes he is allowed to trade if he wants. Exchange Why can't I just keep my book? No, he can change if you want to refuse. Do you want to keep your box or change your box? I can keep this or I can keep the box that definitely has a carrot in it.

Yes, I want Shawn's. box okay we'll grab sean's box the box with a carrot. I'm going to level with you guys, we've never played this game before. We don't know how it ends. Okay, so John, now you can look. your box is correct and I think you can reveal it, point it to the other side, does it contain a carrot or not? Sean, if you could bring something extinct back to life, what would be cool? I'm glad you asked me first, Jimmy, I thought, oh, I would. I would like to do Jurassic Park to make it safe.

I remove all their teeth and nails. Toothless tyrannosaurus rex. Just say at that time. I had a brilliant idea. If I could reanimate anything, I would reanimate every top Nazi or Nazi party leader, but leave it at that, I'm sure everyone, that's the end of your career, would you say you have a large vocabulary? They can't leave me there, we can't change the ending of the short dash, it doesn't matter, he's had a wonderful few years of career. in the business and then brought back the Nazis, Rasheed, would you say you have a brother? I like to put them all on an island.

Sorry, who put all the Nazis on top? The Nazis put them on an island and then filmed it. Oh and people would love that, right? and you say: oh gurples he hasn't caught any fish today hitler is very hungry oh my god, if anything got worse, I would be the first choice, it got much worse now gurgling you said you wanted to send him fishing on a desert island I want to take the Nazis I want to revive them and put them in paradise that's what they deserve no they don't get any supplies they have to fend for themselves does this show have a name yeah no it's the island uh rachel your fans must recognize you all the time does anyone Maybe you wish you could go unnoticed? um my favorite time of year is when I go skiing and you don't have to do your hair and makeup, you don't have to have all that discomfort, just put on your helmet, put on your hairnet, no makeup, it's great and I actually suit my ski things with me, actually I did because that's who I am. um, a Viking beard and horns and um, this is my much more comfortable look and it's warm and um, you just don't have to have that awkward social situation, you just don't, how's Jimmy?

Those kinds of things are challenging. rank oh sorry they are the greatest achievement in life well I guess the money I embezzled from the rlli feels like something I might be interested in yeah well that time I went to the seal clubs they said they actually said This, they had never seen anything like this. It was like a trolley, they said that, yeah, I had two Hammers boots, I was doing four at a time, four, my biggest g must be the straight of the year, no, no, the back of the year, no, no, it's different , yes, this is the back of the air. without the gloves I knew I had won when I heard three of the judges throwing up behind me oh god I have this in the bag I bet the feet are cotton let me tell you his is pretty messy I'm talking.

I mean, of course, that helped me reach the world, so I went to the world finals in Cancun. I thought I was going to win. I thought I was going to win this and then Maradona beat me when he leaned over. remove the sprinklers you want to play the game for fun, a kind of personal battle between us, you could play for Claude, why would I do this? I already have it, just check it, I already have what's there for me, um, my pen, I don't. I don't think it's enough. I left the lid open, but it's actually a stuffed brown bear.

Honestly, it really serves its purpose. So you're playing with miles, but not for Claude? No, okay, oh, sure, oh, money, I won't do it. I won't I won't spit on you when we have sex tonight Good luck trying without spitting I do What would you like your obituary to say? I don't care I'll be very dead Ideally I would like it just to say no why not you can't write tears Jimmy.