Best Of Ricky Gervais On Chatty Man| Roasting and Comedy | Alan Carr: Chatty Man

exactly what is it that only the Pope drinks that no I don't want that I mean I've got some tinnies here oh yeah oh oh look at it oh yeah yeah yeah I've got a great champion oh no it's not a funny business there you're not on this show oh no , just kidding, just kidding, what are you wearing something they wouldn't even have in tk maxx? Look at it, thank you, you liked this, it's lovely, peacocks make cashmere, I don't even know. What that means I'll wear my

best

glasses, well you wear your

best

big glasses, okay.

I didn't know you had a problem. I'm not well. Maybe I have a small one. I bet so. I certainly am last time. I told you I was at your house uh, you're one of five people who have been invited to my house. I'm a very private person, other than, you know, worker and mailman, um and uh, make me feel special, yeah, that Allen.

carr

, a postman, a garbage collector, yes, at least they are useful, yes, no way, wait, this has a meaning, so you go in and there are a lot of prizes everywhere and there are some kind of sculptures, works of art and antiques, one of which is a huge ceramic chicken that I bought him um yeah, I bought it in New York he comes in and says oh I love your big one you've lost a lot of weight thank you how you did it tell me a secret steroids and a lot of AIDS work burning fat and lettuce yes, no, how have you really been eating healthy? 48 and I thought this is never going to end, I'm going to burst, yeah, I go on, I go on, I made a chart, so I thought, enough is enough, oh, were you worried about his weight gain?

I was worried about him losing weight if I'm honest because I've always thought the fat guy is more fun, you know, I know that a lot, you know, I've hitched my cart to this particular fat guy and my horse, you know, and you see, I'd like to just milk him. . say another 10 years and then I could have a massive heart attack, but by then yes, when he says milk me, that's not an ingredient, he's never milked me, yes, it's not a relationship, yes, clarify that you haven't been milked now. No, for Stephen, I'm sorry, are we waffling or, again, isn't that a euphemism?

No, no, he actually slapped a nun. She tried to have a normal conversation, but that's not a double meaning. If you just say it, you can't just say "oh, me." I feel like a bit of a downer, they'd say something else, oh yeah, oh I think I'm going to go up and slap my nun exactly, yeah, they say, oh look at that one and then you'll see the boner, yeah, that's a building if it were big . It wouldn't be a double meaning, you can't just say it, it's okay, just keep teaching you how to camp. Yes I know I was working out to try to stay in shape because I eat and drink too much so I work out like rocky the next day because I refuse to give up anything the only reason I want to get in shape is to live longer The only reason I want to live longer is to eat more cheese so that's it but I'm fine it just gets better I only do it once in a while so yeah that one actually closes and you're like that yeah yeah yeah Walking down the street, people are going to have a day off, Allen, you know, Black Tower, I'll mix it up with the painkillers. drawling like kerry Cortona and I want you to see eating something Ricky look how you're wasting away oh I know we're not going to get fat because I haven't exercised today and I just ate a pizza because I was depressed so tell him we started to love, I I know, yeah, and you met in the extras, didn't you?

Yeah, he found out about the extras, which was a phone call that I wasn't expecting, no, just at home having a normal day and then this guy calls and says it's richard your base on the phone and uh I said oh yeah because I thought that someone was doing an impression of him yeah, the last thing I expected him to call and um and then he laughed, which no one laughs like Ricky debates do. I was convinced and yes, it's him and then he kept saying I'm writing this new series and it's called extras and would you mind if in one of the episodes I accidentally kicked you in the face, I think I said?

It would be an honor to kick you in the face, yes, yes, it's an offer you couldn't refuse, so I started a beautiful friendship and then life is too short began, well, yes, I came out of nowhere, I didn't follow it. contacted rory, they paid him and that was enough so but yeah he asked me for a quote for his autobiography still available thank you and you're doing well you're booking now. I saw it in the news. stage no no in the news in the uh but you bought one no no I just looked at it moved you don't pass you look back you don't see if you're really included just in case oh yeah, yeah, well You'd be in the next liar.

I never did that. Yes, yes, that was any impression. No, no, it was cotton knit. I don't feel well. I'm taking Mickey out of your appearance now. I feel very bad. Yes, so you should stop being. Back on the damn playground with me I need a dinner lady's hand to hold me What's that with the dinner lady Anne oh winking at a giant? That lady of dinner is very suspicious. She comes here every day in a long coat. I read somewhere that you. I only have six friends, is it true? And basically she doesn't surprise me.

No, my point is that I've kept my old friends. Did you know he was a guy like he didn't really do this to her? be popular you know you have yourself if you have your that's working no if you have your friends it doesn't matter because yes people think you don't know if you keep worrying about how you are that's that's that's your reputation, but your character is what you really are and I just said you know all you need is six good friends and I think that's all you know, you really need two very close friends, that's all you need, would you consider it? he in one of your friends is one of the six, the seventh, the seventh, to be honest, because I have about 200 friends and, you know, I'm mostly superficial and I recently had a party at my birthday party.

I invited Ricky's 35th birthday party and I said, um, I don't remember, I invited you, he seems to remember, yeah, still, he still invites me, he still invites me, he never showed up with any of my partners, he's never come to my house , yeah, sure, look, the point is this, right? He started inviting me to parties when we met, but when we met he was 22 and I was 35, so he likes discovering hip hop and parties and I'm discovering that I have a favorite chair, so of course, I am middle aged. man hanging around with a gangly garden looked like he was about 10 yes too but a bean stick like a pedophile when we weren't walking yes oh my god yes especially when you hold my hand I'm scared of London when I moved for the first time. to London, yes, he took your hand because you were afraid, I was afraid of London, I didn't take his hand, of course, no, imagine him knowing me.

Come on, it's 22. I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship. Well, we actually met when I offered him a job at xfm. I went to work for a local radio station and I said, oh, you can have an assistant and, um, his was a CV at the top of the pile, definitely, yes, and I said, yes, I do. but he was kind of sensible because I was doing this job and I was kind of black and that was kind of lazy. What's better than him not having done it now? And when we were in the office, he often kind of woke me up saying come on we have to work and um I remember very often in the BBC canteen he would say rick no you have three giant sausages you will fall asleep again that is not a colleague that is a caregiver but I do have to monitor him.

I'm like you know I'm you.