Speaking the Truth in Love in a Post-Truth World

as well as a pastor's wife for 45 years and a biblical counselor there is a phrase that I have used many times with those I counsel in fact I use this phrase more than any other phrase when I am giving advice the phrase is

speaking

the

truth

in

love

could be an answer What I give to a wife who doesn't know how to confront her husband or her son. could be the advice I give to a church member who doesn't know how to confront another church member that she is sinning. Whether the advice I give to an employee who doesn't know how to talk to her boss about a problem at work, it may be for a family member who doesn't know how to tell the

truth

to another family member, it may be for someone who is unfairly accused or confronted or a customer who is dealing with a business that demonstrates a lack of integrity.

These are just some of the scenarios we are talking about, the truth is needed with

love

and ladies we would have to admit that

speaking

the truth in love is difficult but our

world

makes it more difficult and what I mean by this It's that we live in a

post

-truth

world

. The truth is no longer true. I could tell you tonight that the sky is purple and you would say no, Susan, the sky is blue. and I would say no, it's purple because I think it's purple and so when you and I as Christians try to tell the truth in a

post

-truth world where truth is relative, truth is whatever you believe to be true, then He does it very very.

In fact, it is difficult that when we speak the truth with love, we are often considered archaic, critical and not revealing to society. In fact, we often find ourselves speaking lies instead of the truth, appealing to people's emotions instead of their intellect, and being Friends of the world instead of bringing a friend of Christ, so tonight what I'm going to do What I strive to do is answer the following questions: What does it mean to speak the truth in love? Why should we speak the truth in love? Why don't we tell the truth in love? Where do we tell the truth in love?

When do we speak the truth in love? How do we tell the truth in love? and then, what is the result of telling the truth in love? I know it seems like a lot, but don't worry. I'll get you out in time to go to bed at midnight, maybe if you're lucky, remember I've edited a lot of this material. Well, the first question is what it is to tell the truth about love, ladies, before we can understand all the details of how to speak. The truth in love first we must know what it is when I am advising a woman and I tell her and she says what should I do and I tell her that you need to tell the truth in love.

What am I advising Townes to get the phrase right? Speaking truth and love comes from Ephesians 4:15 in order to understand that verse we need to read it in context. Well, if you have a Bible, this is not an exegetical study tonight, this is more current, but we will use the Scriptures. as our plumb line for what we teach Ephesians 4:11 2:16 says this and look at the context very carefully and he himself gave some to be apostles some prophets some evangelists some pastors and teachers for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry for the building up of the body of Christ until we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God to a perfect man to the measure of the statue of the fullness of Christ so that we are no longer children shaken on one side to another and carried about with every wind of doctrine by the devices of men and the cunning devices of deceitful conspiracies, but speaking the truth in love, may grow in all things toward him who is the head, Christ, of whom all The body joined together and woven together by each joint are supplied according to the effective functioning by which each part does its part and causes the growth of the body for the edification of itself in love.

Now ladies, let's look at the context. Paul is talking about spiritual gifts. He lists some of the spiritual gifts and then tells you why we use our spiritual gifts in the church to equip the saints to build up the body. This is very important, listen very carefully. Speaking the truth in love includes the idea of ​​using our spiritual gifts to equip the body. It is very important to keep in mind that when you speak the truth in love it is not about you, it is about the person you are speaking to, you are concerned about their spiritual growth, hopefully they are part of the body of Christ and you have concerns, that is why I think it's helpful when we think about this, you want to do what's best for them, so Paul says we speak well with the truth, what is the truth?

His word is truth so ladies when we talk we'll talk about this in just a minute when we speak the truth in love we need to speak what God says often when I'm counseling someone I'm trying to help them I say point the person to the Word of God and what he says so that we speak the truth in love, what does that mean? Well, it's a love, so what does that mean? So if I am going to go with love to another person, I love them and I love them enough to care about their spiritual well-being. worried about their actions I am worried about their attitudes and that is why I speak the truth with love for the love of them now I will say this often you can lose the relationship you have to put that in front of your mind many times you risk the relationship but ladies we should be more worried for them than for ourselves.

I mentioned this to a girl Doug and I talked to years and years and years ago, we said some very difficult things in the counseling room and she lost her mind years later. She came back and said that what you said in that therapy room was haunting me and I couldn't get it out of my head, so you could risk the relationship and it could be temporary and they could come back like that. We should love each other enough. to warn each other of the danger they are in even if there is a price to pay in the process, ladies, when we tell the truth to others and give them advice, we do not use our own words, we speak the words of God, Paul He says I don't use my own intelligent speech, so man's words have no value, but God's words have value now.

The second time this verse is used in Scripture is in Ephesians 4:25. Notice what Paul says, therefore, rejecting lies, let each of you speak the truth. with your neighbor why because we are members of each other then ladies instead of using my mouth to lie I must tell the truth God is truth we are his children we are bearers of his image we must represent God and that is why we tell the truth now listen with be very careful this does not mean that I go around telling everyone everything and what I think about everything you know my husband says that you didn't always say this he doesn't say this anymore he says now he says why are you so quiet but he used to do it Say that you don't have to offer your opinion above all so that we don't have to go around telling everyone what I think or what I feel.

You must be wise with your speech. You must be discreet but you must tell the truth. For example, someone comes to you in church, maybe even tonight, how are you? Oh, I'm fine, that's always true, no it's not, if you say, oh, I'm fine, when you're not fine, that's a lie, right? I'm not telling the truth, you could say something like I say sometimes I'm partly cloudy or you know it's been a really hard week but I'm trusting the Lord right now or I could really use your prayers. I can't speak on this topic. but no, I'm not really fine and then we tell the truth.

In fact, Paul goes on to say that we tell the truth to our neighbors, he's not necessarily talking about our next-door neighbor, he's talking about those who are within the body of Christ because he says that to build each other up because we are members of the body, but ladies, it should be our practice, we should speak the truth to all people, not just people within the body of Christ, but lost people, and we're going to talk about all kinds of people here in just a minute , but we must speak the truth with love, but especially to those who belong to the home, the body of Jesus Christ, when we lie to each other, especially in the body, it hurts the entire body of Christ.

To answer the question what it means to tell the truth in love is this to say what is right dr. Read what comes from a biblically committed life with a person who needs correction it is done with love for the benefit of the one who needs some adjustment in their attitude and actions it is a desire to help that is driven by love that is What motivates us to do this task now that we know what it is? Why are we doing this? Why do we tell the truth with love? You might say Susan, why should I meddle in someone else's life?

I mean, do you know what kind of life I have? Does my life have enough problems of its own? Why do I need to create more problems by lovingly telling the truth to someone? Well, we've seen from what we've already learned, we do it because we love each other, right? That's one of the reasons. Why do we tell the truth with love? We love this person enough to tell them the truth. It's not about us, it's about his spiritual well-being. It is about the body of Christ, which must be a pure rite. It is a command from the Lord in Ephesians 4 speak the truth in love also Matthew 18 is very clear a passage that many of you probably know well and have memorized if your brother sins against you, get wet, hide your nails in the closet.

Not if your brother sins. You go against yourself, you tell him about his fault between you and him. Only if he doesn't listen to you, you take two or three more and then if he doesn't listen to you, you tell the church and then what happens in that? Meet the old man's pastor, they tell him. sin and the center to the church and he is rejected and treated like a pagan and a tax collector, so from that passage we would say that we have a responsibility to speak the truth in love not only because it is a commandment of God, but because the purity of the church, have you ever thought about that ladies, a little yeast leavens the whole dough?

I've heard of churches where fornication is allowed, people know that, so people are fornicating, they're committing adultery, right? We know what happens if you allow sin in the church and everyone knows that so-and-so is sinning, that weakens the entire resolve of the entire body of Christ to live in holiness and that's why we do it for the purity of the church, another reason why speaking the truth in love is found in James 5 19 to 20 where James says brothers, if you know someone who has strayed from the truth and turns back, let him know that whoever turns the sinner back from the error of his way, it will save a soul from death and hide a multitude of sins ladies when we speak the truth in love we can save a soul from death we can help it turn from the error of its way that is a worthy reason to speak the truth in love and James says that we also cover a multitude of sins, what does that mean?

Think about it if someone comes to me and says Susan, you are going down the wrong path Susan, this sin has to be stopped in your life and I turn around. and go the other way and start obeying the Lord, you know what happens, my sin stops, therefore keep it from being exposed to the entire body of Christ, and if the sin doesn't stop, you know the rest of history. According to Matthew 18, James says we cover a multitude of sins, the sin stops and no one else needs to know about it and that's the beauty of that right.

So why do we speak the truth in love? Well, we speak the truth in love because it is a commandment, we speak the truth in love because failure to do so affects the purity of the church, and we speak the truth in love because it has the powerful potential to stop a sinner from continuing in his sinful ways. and prevent those sins from being further exposed to the entire body of Christ, ladies, those are four wonderful reasons to speak the truth in love. Well, next question, why don't we do this? Why don't we speak the truth with love?

I will give you three reasons. Why don't we do this? I will have to tell you that in my 45 years as a pastor's wife, one of my biggest pet peeves is the lack of biblical confrontation among Christians. I know Christians will not do the right thing and come. to me they will come to my husband to tell me what so-and-so has done or they will gossip about the person or they will hate the person in their heart or they will be resentful or they will avoid them in church Ladies, that is wrong, that is a sinful way to handle things. offenses, we must do the right thing, so why don't we tell the truth in love?

Why do you and I allow offenses to continue for so long? Well, the first reason we don't speak the truth in love is fear of man fear of man we are afraid we are afraid of losing friendships we are afraid of losing relationships we are afraid of forcing friendships ladies listen very carefully unfortunately this aggravates your sin, not theirs, it makes you a worse sin the sin of fear Paul is very clear in Galatians if I seek to please men I am NOT a servant of Christ ladies we cannot be afraid in fact Jesus warns very clearly in Luke 12 do not be afraid of those who can kill your body right but rather fear Him who is capable of destroying both the soul and the body in hell, ladies, fear is a sin.

I shared this before doing a word study one year on fear, years ago one of my mentors gave it to me for an assignment and I had to go through the entire Bible, do you thinksome of my tasks are difficult ladies, those of you that I disciple, how would you like to go from Genesis to Revelation and I had to do a word study on fear and you know what I discovered? Is it just fearing God? We should not fear anything else or anyone else, except that there is one commandment: fear your parents. That's all. The fear of man is a sin and we must postpone it so that we are free to help those who need admonishment.

Another reason we don't tell the truth in love is because of fear of rejection fear of rejection maybe you say I don't think I can confront that person Susan, I'm going to be labeled self-righteous or judgmental or holier than thou or we fear we fear the rejection ladies if that happens to you if you tell the truth with love to someone and they reject you or they call you critical or they call you holier than- you know what you can take great comfort in because they also rejected Jesus, he came to his own, his own they did not receive it, in fact, Peter says in 1 Peter chapter 2, so you were called because Christ suffered for us, leaving us an example that we should follow in his footsteps and goes on to say that he committed no sin nor was there deceit in his mouth he did not lie when he was insulted he did not insult when he suffered he did not threaten when he committed himself to the one who judges justly ladies we can take great comfort in the reality that the Lord was rejected - he told the truth they tried to kill him for telling the truth and he was rejected we can cast our worries on him we can commit ourselves to the one who judges righteously the last reason we don't speak the truth in love is because we fear not knowing what to say we fear the man we fear rejection we fear not knowing what to say now I know this is a legitimate concern but ladies it can be Easily remedied by being prepared.

You know Paul is very clear that you don't need to go to a Christian counselor? Have you ever thought about what Paul says in Romans 15 14 to the church in Rome? I'm sure you're all full. of goodness full of knowledge and you all can advise each other if you ever thought about that you don't need to go to a Christian counselor full of goodness full of knowledge you can advise each other but you have to do it the discipline of studying the Word of God we , for those of you who studied the Bible in Second Timothy this last year, what did we learn by heart or, hopefully, what did we study by heart to show ourselves approved before God, a worker who has nothing to be ashamed of, who rightly divides the word ? really so what does this mean?

This means that I must know what God's Word says about this specific area of ​​sin before I admonish anyone else. What does God say about sexual sin? What does God say about harsh husbands? What does God say about not paying his taxes? What does God's Word say about companies that lie about their products? What does God say about wives who are not submissive to their husbands? What does God's Word say about anger problems, unforgiveness, drunkenness, homosexuality, and lazy employees? These are just a few of the issues you may need to address in someone else's life, let me ask you a question, would you know how to lovingly admonish someone who is stuck in one of those sins I just listed?

Do you know what God says in his word on these topics? We must speak the truth in love, all this is enough, all the authority of the word of God, we have it here, so there is no reason not to be prepared, you are competent to advise, you are capable of speaking the truth in love, but you need to know what. God's Word says what you should address, so to answer the question why don't we speak the truth in love? We don't speak the truth in love because we fear the man, we fear rejection, and we fear not knowing what to say now.

The next question we want to answer is where do we speak the truth in love? Another common question I get is where do I do this? This is something Susan just ordered me to do in my house or with the people in my house. church, am I really supposed to take good care of all offenses? The answer to that question is yes, you are. Paul puts it well in Acts 24:16 he says he strives to be empty of a clear conscience before God and man and he also says in Romans 12:18 as much as possible within yourself live in peace with all men so With that in mind, the answer to the question: where do we speak truth and love? will be answered in four categories, ladies, we do this in our hearts in our homes in our houses of worship and in our hostile world we speak truth and love in our hearts in our home in our house of worship and in our hostile world first that nothing this is very important we must tell the truth to our hearts let's listen very carefully to this proverb proverbs 20:27 19 wisely says as in water the face reflects the face so the heart of a man reveals to the man ladies how we can help someone else If we are not honest with ourselves first make sure we are clearly seeing the problem in the other person as sinful, make sure I have known many wives who are clouded by bitterness and resentment.

Don't try to help someone else if you have a 2x4 in your eye. Get rid of that bitterness and resentment, look closely in the mirror of your heart and do a self-examination. How can you help your brother get rid of the small irritation in his eye when you have a 2x4 in your eye and thus speak the truth with love? your heart first in fact Jesus is very clear in Matthew 12 of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and ladies we must properly examine our hearts we must speak the truth to our hearts again we must know what the Word of God says about the matter at hand now once we have done that self-examination and our own personal sin and we are sure that we have pure motives that I really love the other person I have their interest in mine I love them I want the glory of God then we With prayer and humility we are ready to reach out to another person, so let's speak the truth of love in our hearts.

Secondly, we now speak the truth of love in our homes, ladies, this certainly does not mean that you speak your mind on every topic that arises in your home. As I said, a wise person will test his words before you speak them, but that means that if a child, a spouse, or anyone else who lives in your home has a continuing pattern of wrong attitudes or actions, you tell them the truth. with love. and yes, this includes a wife to her husband. I have no idea where that wrong eye came from, but it certainly wasn't from the Word of God.

I have heard and read many Christian books that say a wife should never confront her husband. I'm not sure where that idea came from, but it's certainly not from the Word of God. Matthew 18:15 is clear if your brother offends you, you go to him and it does not say if your brother offends you unless he is your husband, you go to him. If your brother offends you, go to him in the same way, this commandment applies to children, you may have to go to a child and tell him the truth with love if a child does not obey his parents and you just need to tell the truth. truth with love. but if they are a teknon a little boy, you need to discipline them properly and use the cane, but I'll leave that to Chris for later this summer, ladies.

I am convinced that Christian homes are in poor condition today for many reasons. and one of the reasons is our refusal to deal with offenses. You know what we'd rather do. We would rather hate our spouse or our child in our hearts than do the right thing. We would rather avoid them or attack them in anger. You have to do the right thing, but ladies, in the Old Testament, Moses wrote: you shall not hate your brother in your heart, you shall rebuke your brother and you shall not allow sin upon him, and this is something that was taught in the past.

Old Testament thirdly we are to speak the truth in love in our house of worship our house of worship this would include anyone who belongs to a body of believers it does not refer to people who simply go to this church it could be someone who lives in Kansas, it could even be someone who lives in India or a foreign country, all believers around the world, it could be anyone who is sinning, we have already said in Matthew 18 that we have a responsibility to go and I will not go. go through that again, but then, hopefully, they repent, if not, then we go through the steps of church discipline and ladies, we don't put off the initial part.

I have often told women when they come to me with someone's problems that they are offended by and the body of Christ. Not only do I tell them they need to go take care of it, but I hold them responsible for taking care of it and letting me know that they did the right thing, we need to do it in a timely manner. Jesus is very clear when you bring your offering to the altar and yet you realize that you have something against your brother you go and take care of him then you come back and offer your offering at the altar in other words do not come to worship if you have something in your heart against another brother or sister in Christ and then right after that verse he says agree with your adversary quickly in other words don't waste time.

I know people who will put off confrontation for months and months and years and years and you know what that does, it just aggravates the bitterness and resentment in your heart and of course if they send a member sitting, he continues to sin and of course That, ladies, we deal with it as soon as possible, is heartbreaking. look at those who postpone the going part and instead put on the gossip part get angry part bitter part ladies this is not right it does not please the Lord finally where do we speak we speak the truth in love in a hostile world speak the truth with love in a hostile world, then the ladies will realize when they combine all of this: their heart, their home, their house of worship, and the hostile world that includes everyone, right, that includes all living people.

Now I want to be very clear, I'll give it to you. a red flag warning practicing this will certainly incur persecution and hatred true Jesus was very clear in the upper room speech if the world hates you guess what they hated me before they hated you in fact he said you know he hated me They hated without a cause and he said that if he had come and spoken to them they would have no sin but now they have no excuse for their sin ladies Jesus spoke faithfully to the unbelievers about their sin he makes it clear to them that they hated him that is why my friend when he lovingly confronts to an unbeliever, I'm talking about an unbeliever about their sin or lack of disbelief in the gospel, they will most likely hate you and persecute you for it, in fact, John the Baptist was beheaded for that right, remember when he told him It was not lawful for him to have Philips as his wife and he remembers that he put him in prison and Herod's birthday was celebrated and the daughter of Herodias came and danced before him and he was so impressed with her dancing that he said: tell me, what? what do you want?

I'll give you half of my kingdom so she went and asked her mother do you know what should I ask for and she said well ask for the head of John the Baptist on a plate I mean how's that for a birthday present and then it was ? and he told him you know that's what he wanted and he cut off his head, you know, John told him that it wasn't legal for him to have Philips' wife, he told the truth with love and it cost him his head, it cost him his life now. you could say I'm out of here, you're not likely to face something that drastic, maybe I don't know, but it'll probably cost you, you know, Peter wasn't afraid to tell the truth either and love Paul, he says. in nuts sorry, I'm jumping ahead Peter says that it is better to suffer if God's will is like this to suffer for doing good than for doing evil so where do we speak the truth in love?

We speak the truth of love in our hearts our homes our places of worship in our hostile world now when do we speak the truth in love? When do we tell the truth with love? When considering when to speak the truth in love, we must first say do it quickly Jesus says do it quickly, don't wait for a convenient time ladies, if you wait for a convenient time you will most likely never be able to talk to anyone else about your sin , in fact I did when I met my The heart is heavy with a topic.

I will try to meet with the person and if I can't, I will call them on the phone. I remember several months ago calling someone here in the lobby because I thought I could. I can't worship today until I take care of this and I knew I had offended the person and I needed to call them and correct it and I wanted my worship to be in spirit and in truth and that's why we do it quickly. Paul says that you preach the word, be diligent in season and out of season, in other words, when it is convenient and when it is not convenient, and that is why we do it quickly as I said in Second Timothy;

He says preach the word, be ready in season and out of season, convinced rebuke. we exhort with all patience and doctrine and again Paul is very clear we speak what doctrine the truth the Word of God the word all sufficient why because ladies this is what rebukes our sin this is what corrects our wrong thinking we have seen this before in Hebrews , the Word of God is what lives, it is powerful, it is sharper than a two-edged sword, and it penetrates and discerns our thoughts and the intentions of our hearts, ladies, no other book hasso much depth and wisdom, in fact, Paul tells us as he announces this.

The truth in 2 Timothy 4:2 says to be ready in season and out of season, this means that at any time, sometimes, if I know I need to talk to someone, I will say: Lord, could you help me? You know, but, you know? Of course, now we can't meet, but in the church we will flourish in the church or something and so I have the opportunity to talk to them, so we must be ready to do this when it is convenient and when it is not convenient and interesting. In this verse, Paul outlines a helpful progression of what is involved when we speak the truth in love.

Notice what it says if it is in 2 Timothy 4:2, it says that first of all we convince or rebuke them so that instead of diminishing their sin we justify it we point out the truth of their sin we sustain this work this Bible the mirror of the Word of God often what I will do especially fitness in a counseling room I wouldn't do it in church but in a counseling room I will have I open the Bible to the specific thing I want to talk to you about. I give you the Bible. I ask them to read the scripture that pertains to their specific sin and then I tell them what God says about their anger or what God says about their sexual sin or whatever and then that is a loving way of rebuking them or as Paul says rebuke and I know we don't like the word rebuke and it seems to have a negative connotation, but ladies, that's what it means we rebuke you not primarily but with the Word of God, so Paul says after we do it, after we rebuke them, then we can focus again here, I'm sorry, we convince them and then we rebuke them, in other words, we show them from the Word of God that what they are doing is wrong and that they must leave it aside or it will dominate them, ladies, we do not minimize your sin, but we tell you the danger you are often in when you go to those lists and secondly.

Corinthians and Galatians, it is very clear that both passages say that if you practice these things you will not inherit the kingdom of heaven and I very often ask them what the Word of God says about your sin, well, it says that it is worthy of hell, so you will see how. Seriously, this sin is if you do not postpone it, if this sin is dominating your life, then you are in danger of suffering the fires of hell. In fact, I remember telling many of you that several years ago a lady came in for counseling. and she said you are the first Christian counselor who told me that I am in sin, she said I have been to several Christian counselors, you are the first and I thought what a plague for Christian counseling, biblical counseling, but more than What a plague for God and His Word, which has the power to change lives, ladies, when we try to minimize people's sin or psychologize it, there is no hope, there is no help, but if we point out the sin we can tell them what to postpone. and then what they need is to dress well and teach them to change the way they live, in fact, after we have rebuked them, we rebuked them.

Paul says we exhort, what does that mean? We bring you comfort, ladies, when you go to speak the truth in love. Do not leave someone discouraged after a rebuke always give them hope through the Word of God our sins are often binding but the Word of God has the answers that will free us from those sins how many times in the Scriptures do we have that put leave this leave aside anger, malice, blasphemy, unclean communication that comes out of your mouth, do not lie to each other, but then what you put on are the children of God, tender mercy, kindness, humility, and so we teach you how, instead of getting angry when I tell you someone who needs to let go of anger.

I teach them how to be patient. be happy. get love because that's why they get angry because they're not patient and they're not happy with what's going on, so that's where we. Lovingly help them and provide them comfort and hold them accountable for the path to life change. In fact, Paul said earlier in that same passage 2 Timothy 2 when, regarding this topic again, he says that we are not to fight, but to be kind, so we should always give hope to people our tone of voice should be kind our Body language should be kind and gentle as we try to help them ladies in fact Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:14 we exhort you brothers, warn the rebellious, comfort the weak. at heart he supports the weak but then he says be patient, it's okay, be patient, so if I'm warning someone who is rebellious I still have to be patient with them, there's no reason to correct someone else, there's no reason to be cheeky , there is. there is no reason to be rude, we must do this with all patience and patience, in fact, I know I have shared this too, but several years ago when I was speaking, this lady came up to me and said: I want to talk to you outside, she said and I was angry and I was shaking and I was shaking back then too and I'm not usually in the habit of leaving where I am and going out alone anywhere.

I always take some time. with me but I saw that Debbie was busy and I went out and to my surprise she had this verse 2nd Timothy 4:2 in her hand, you know, rebuke by resorting with all patience and doctrine like she said, you see this first right here and I said yes, I see it and she says I'm going to confront you and I said okay and you know, I told you the story and she got very physical and started shaking me and I looked around thinking I can't believe this. is happening to me and I was able to diffuse the situation and get back in, but you know, thinking about the situation, I wish I had remembered the part of this verse that she forgot and that is that with all the patience and teaching there was no Suffering on her part and That is why we must be kind when we confront someone, ladies, the wonderful thing about following the principles established in this verse is that the Holy Spirit is the great convict of error and convict of sin, our responsibility is simply to deliver. the truth, then allow the Holy Spirit to convict and convict you of your sin and that you need to change.

This does not mean that we never need to harshly rebuke people. There are times when they are few, but there are times when an example would be. a false teacher after we reject and avoid them, the Bible even says that a man who is a heretic after the first or second admonition you reject and sometimes that must be with a blunt warning, I would also say that people that are involved in sexual sin not repent, that would be a time when you would probably rebuke them harshly, they should flee from sexual sin, in fact, I know that at least in the churches that my husband has pastored, sexual sin that does not Repent is something he brings to the forefront and that person is.

They usually get kicked out of the church pretty quickly if they don't put it off, so there are times when we need to be firm, but most of the time with patience and gentleness, especially with those. I use the example of anger, let's say you talk. to someone about their anger or their foul language we should show patience and patience in the process ladies people don't change overnight you haven't changed overnight I haven't changed overnight yet I am growing, but Paul is very clear in 2 Corinthians 3:18 all of us with open faces contemplating as in a mirror the glory of the Lord were transformed from glory to glory by the Spirit of the Lord and so change takes time and just as we exercise patience In the process of waiting, we continually worry about those who were helping what the Scriptures say regarding sin there and Paul doesn't say this in the text, but as you wait and help them, pray, pray and ask God to give them a heart. of change and that will be softened by the truth then when we speak the truth in love we speak when it is convenient and when it is not and we do it promptly and with great patience which brings me to the next question that we want to answer how do we speak the truth with love?

How do we do this? You may be wondering, Susan, how should I approach someone about an issue? Well, I encourage you to pray both before, during and after your conversation with that person, pray beforehand for God to open up. your heart to hear the truth pray as you speak so that your words do not fall on deaf ears or a hard heart pray afterwards for the beloved Holy Spirit to do the work of convicting you of your sin and leading you to repentance and ladies along with prayer you must be patience Paul says in Galatians 6:1 you who are spiritual restore one another in other words what is broken restored with a spirit of meekness considering yourself less tempted many times I will tell someone that I am a disciple in our counseling I will say, I know that this It is difficult, what I am telling you today and I know that you know that it is not easy for either of us, but you know what I hope that in two or three weeks, if you see me in any sin, you will love me enough to come to me and tell me about the sin I am in when I need correction.

Paul says in 2 Timothy 2:24 the servant of the Lord should not fight but be kind, have patience and so ladies when they are. In doing this we must be patient, we must not fight, you can look at the Gospel accounts and you will never see Jesus fighting, he spoke the truth with love and many times he got angry when he spoke the truth with love, but he never fought and ladies, we. We should not be kind now either, speaking the truth in love does not mean that it is always done with a soft tone or a calm voice.

I have thought about this. You already know Jesus in the temple with the money changers. I doubt what he said. You made my house a house of you know, a den of thieves, you know his name is the man, I bet he knows my house will be called the House of Prayer and they have turned it into a den of thieves, you know and he is, I mean, it was firm and you might need to use that with a child. I had to do that when my kids were growing up. Go clean your room. The boy did not go to clean the room.

My voice became a little first. They got beat up for not doing it. cleaning his room but then I told you to clean your room and if you don't you think the spanking was bad, the next one will be even worse and then my tone of voice would become a little firmer and so there are times when we need to be firm in our tone of voice but we never get out of control but we tell the truth in love this was an example I wasn't going to share and I moved on but remember Paul was a little firm with Peter remember when he didn't eat with the Gentiles and he says in Galatians 2, I confronted him to his face, that was not, you know, you know, very gentle, I confronted him to his face, why, because I didn't want to eat with the gentiles. and he was showing his hypocrisy but I will say this most of the time a soft voice is the best approach proverbs are very clear a soft response drives away anger but harsh words arouse anger and that would be my advice to you: be gentle So how do we tell the truth in love?

We speak gently and humbly as we examine ourselves. We also bathe our efforts in a lot of prayer and I'm going to give you some examples here in just a minute of how to do all of this. Well, the last question is what is the result of speaking the truth in love. What is the result of speaking the truth with love? Ladies, when we stop to consider the potential results of speaking the truth in love. I hope it motivates you to do it more. many times not because you are looking. I was telling the girl I had met with just before I came here tonight.

I don't like confrontation. You know, if you ever start to like it then you should examine yourself, there is nothing fun about it, but the results of speaking the truth in love should motivate you and me to do it more often because Paul gives several results that come from of speaking the truth in love in 2 Timothy 25 to 26, he says this with humility correcting those who are in opposition if God perhaps grants them repentance so that they may know the truth and come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil having been taken captive by him to do his will, so ladies, there are fruits that can come from being humble and exhorting. others, what is the fruit?

Well, the first fruit he mentions is repentance. You know what repentance is. It is essentially a change. You go in this direction and you turn around completely and go in another direction. It's a change. It is a person who turns away from sin. and turning to obedience now repentance could be if you are talking to an unbeliever it could be their salvation if it is someone who is trapped in sexual sin they stop sinning if with someone who lies they start telling the truth if it is someone who has a problem of anger, they learn to be patient and they learn to be content and then there is repentance there, what a wonderful result, Paul says, they will also come to the knowledge of the truth, the truth about what, if anyone.

Who is an unbeliever? The truth about salvation, right? If it is someone who is trapped, you are confronting someone who is trapped in the gospel of health, wealth and prosperity, they come to the truth of the gospel to understand the lordship of Jesus Christ and the gospel says. take up their cross and deny themselves, does not say that Jesus Christ died to make them rich, healthy and wise, perhaps they are in aair about the baptism that Micah Paulus was or can be and that is why they need to be taught the truth about that or maybe they are a mistake about women preaching to men and that is why they need to be brought to the truth about that or Maybe they are wrong about women being submissive to their husbands and so they need to be brought to the truth about that ladies these are just some of the examples of how speaking the truth in love can result in repentance and help someone to learn to know the truth Paul mentions another result of speaking the truth in love, he says that the person would come to reason.

What does this mean? Well, it's like someone who has woken up from a deep sleep, has woken up from his deep sleep, the lethargy of it. Paul probably had this idea in mind Ephesians 5:14 where he says wake up those who sleep and arise from the dead and Christ will give you. you turn on another result that comes from correcting others with humility Paul says it is that they escape from the devil's snare what does that mean well the devil has trapped them with what are his tricks ladies don't forget he is a roaring lion who is looking for whoever he wants devour and has devoured many bags he wants to hunt steal and kill his prey he is behind all the lies and everything that is false and he does not want those who are deceived by his tactics to be awakened from their slumber he wants to hold them captive but Paul says that if we speak the truth in love some of them will be rescued from the devil's tactics.

In fact, Paul ends this verse by saying that they have been taken captive by the devil to do his will, in other words, them. They are in such a stupor, they are in such a deep sleep in their sin that they are not even aware of how deep their sin is, they have been held captive by the evil one, ladies, we are to be servants of Christ and good soldiers of his work. battle with the evil one because the minds of many people are captive by it now, when we put all these things together, we see some wonderful things that come from our efforts to speak the truth in love, repentance, knowledge of the truth, returning to their senses and escaping the trap of evil. my friend, these are great results, you heard my husband's testimony on Sunday about when he came to faith in Christ and how he didn't even know something he was doing was a sin, but someone came and showed him some of these people that Talked to they don't even know what they're doing is sinful, but when we take the Word of God and open it up and say look, look at what God says about your sin and you need to postpone it, he will take over you.

He could kill you if you don't postpone it while we strive to tell the truth to those who need it. Our prayer and hope should always be that repentance and restoration of relationships will take place. Now that we have said all this, ladies, we must Get real now I want to get real with you tonight Know that doing the right thing, speaking the truth in love will not always produce the results you want, but it is the right thing to do and may incur persecution. I have counseled many women when they did this, it got worse at home.

Paul says that all who live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution and if you have not yet been persecuted for your faith, don't worry, you will, especially if you begin to speak the truth in love. I know. Some people will run from this and do everything they can to avoid it, but ladies, don't avoid controversy, don't avoid speaking the truth in love, don't fear persecution, you will receive that, ladies, it's wonderful. opportunity to demonstrate your loyalty to the Lord and draw closer to him now this material, as I said, is by no means exhaustive, it is meant to be helpful, speaking the truth in love is certainly a popular phrase often used in circles Christians, but I wonder.

If we are truly doing it effectively for the glory of God, speaking truth and love in a post-truth world is sometimes challenging, but a wise Christian will remember the wisdom of Solomon's words in proverbs 87 for my mouth will speak the truth, evil is an abomination to my lips your