Brooke Shields | Mondays With Marlo

Hello and welcome to Monday with Marlo, our guest today is Brooke Shields. I actually ran into Brooks at Brooks Brothers and Indus cornered her and said, oh please, please come on, with Marlow because she knew you don't love to talk. to her and for these million questions obviously they are really going to talk - thank you, I'm glad you cornered me well, you are very inspiring, I mean, you were so beautiful as a child and then as a young woman and as a grown woman, but never you understood that my looks were enough, you went to Princeton, you made a life outside of beauty and you can have beauty whenever you want, but you really did it to be a good person and a strong, smart person.

Thank you, you know, I'm a mom and you know, you have these, I have these two little girls and they're very, you know, that's all around us to focus on the outside and I always have been. saying you know beauty is always only as good as you're smart and strong and confident, so I made sure of that because I was in a beauty business, quote unquote, to make sure I had a life that was really, you know, I found it into something more substantial. right, no, that's great, I mean, not everyone comes out of that experience with that attitude, they can get stuck there and never get ahead, it's hard, I guess I mean, and this is something I talk to my kids about a lot. .

It's hard not to do it because it's so celebrated, uh, so you know, if you're the pretty girl, you get the attention, you get the quote-unquote approval, and to that, you get dictated, you get to dictate, and then you start. to think that it's the part of your entire personality that precedes you and in a way it does because we seem to be so focused and motivated on that, especially in this country, and I see it happen all the time. worry about it and it's just a struggle and you have to be surrounded by people, who constantly tell you that you know everything there is and that you have many other values, that's the big thing, the first thing that happens, okay, this is from Bella I know, I even got married twice.

Hello Bella, welcome my husband. I am about to get married for the second time. What did you learn from your first marriage that you didn't accept in your second marriage? Know? My marriage is my first. One was very important for me to individualize myself as a person from my mother and from my life, so I needed to gain a lot of confidence and I ended up being able to do that through my first husband and thanks to him he helped me a lot, but in my second marriage, where is my husband? My husband likes to say my current man because I'm not sure that at any time with you you can tell which one is good, Bella for your second husband, because somehow you're still They're a little alert because I know you know that's possible, but when I've incorporated it it's just a sense of myself and not trying to be anyone else, not trying to be this ideal of what I think I should. be, but really at this point when I got to my second husband I said pretty much this is all I have this is me I'm working on myself constantly but this is it and it wasn't you I know there was no fantasy involved in it and I think being realistic about what a marriage is is a lot easier to do on the second Yes that's no I think that's true I've only been married once whereas my husband was married twice and I think you I know he brought things to this marriage, which was an experience, so how do you do it?

Nadia not to do it and also to appreciate certain things. I think sometimes you have to work out some of the problems. Know? I mean, I would, I hope so. which is not hope, it's forever and you want and I have two little girls again, I hope you know it's because that's the fantasy and the dream, but there's a sense of maturity that has come with and also, but still being open. excited enough to feel this, that it is special not to get tired of it, it means being able to say that I am going to fall in love again and that I am going to take that step again, it is also trusting and not getting tired of it.

It is very important to keep your heart open absolutely Bella, this is Sara. I read that you once said that you didn't lose your virginity in two you were 22 years old, it was because you didn't like the way you looked, could that be true? But Sara, there is a lot of truth in that part of my problem. One of my many problems, I must say, is that I was a public figure, so there was a lot of responsibility for me at that time. age because I was celebrated as a virgin and I wrote it in a book.

It wasn't a very good idea for me to write that in the book, however I did it, it was done, it was in print forever, so I stuck with it, so then. There was a responsibility in that. I will say that the part about not liking my appearance is that I was very insecure with myself physically, especially with my body, because as we've talked about basically my entire life, it was like from the neck up. Celebrated as a cover girl or I was, that was the focus and I never walked because I wasn't skinny enough, which is a bit pathetic, but that's what they told me and we have to take heroin to be dead, okay exactly?

I wouldn't have even known, deal with it. I wouldn't know it yet, but there was a clear insecurity and just a fear that it wasn't good enough and then you know, just a fear, you know it is. incredible for a woman as beautiful as you and as you have always been, and there was once insecurity about your appearance. I mean, it really says something to all of us, I mean, it kind of makes you feel better, like I think this woman had. that problem, yeah, I feel like it's become kind of a cliché, now you say, oh, I'd say Ugly Duckling, you hear people say that, but I think it's deeper than that.

I think it's because they teach us to compare ourselves, right?, constantly compare yourself. person oh she has that I want that oh that is considered good that is tall that is skinny that laughs that is tall in the short way and what happens is that very rarely the focus initially is on us as women, you know, and we are always trying to be something we are not instead of celebrating or feeling really secure with what we have, we always want what we don't have and we nourish that with ads and listen. I am a person who is in those ads as guilty and yet, you know again, as a mother, you try to tell yourself, let's try to find out why we are unique, and let's try not to covet what we don't have, but it's 47 years, So now I'm finding out. but that's a second, people never do that to never say about yourself, this is it and hey, guess what this is good enough, this is good enough whenever it is, I think it's you and you see people who He says don't do it traditionally.

They have what we label as a perfect figure, but they walk with such confidence, yes, before you know it, they are the Gort, the best there is and then we celebrate it, so there is something to be said for promoting that type of belief and also saying that she walks, my mother used to say that there was only one actress and you know she had a pretty big butt and she said, are you kidding me?, she walks into a room and looks at her button and thinks that's the best. about you walking in at the end of the party or going for God's sake, she looks beautiful with that shapely figure, you know, that's how you carry her, she carries her, that's great, this is from Elena as a mother of daughters, how how do you feel now when you look back at the strong? sexual content of those Calvin Klein ads and then the Pretty Baby movie you made when you were so young, would you let your daughters do that?

It's a very good question. There are some answers. I never felt committed when I was that age because For me, we were doing artistic things, we were doing little films for Calvin Klein, when I did Pretty Baby, I had a stuntman and I was on a set in New Orleans where Sven Nykvist, Louie Moll, like us , they were real artists so there was never anything sleazy about it, the flip side is if there is anything, I mean my kids, my nine year old daughter walks around naked the whole time the bathroom doors open and I'm the one try to tell him, right, please?

You have to think a little about privacy. I think the rules have become different. I think the kind of sexuality that's infused into all of our advertising now has gotten a lot worse, a lot more intense, right? I think there is less protection for children. But. I don't think my kids wouldn't let them do it because I think the world is a very different place, you know, no, I would feel compromised, I would feel compromised right now, even if I wanted to see myself without clothes. next to my husband, but you know, I think it's different.

I probably wouldn't let them, but we're also in a different era and I have very different kids. We grew up in a very different yes oh no, so you did it. I could have known what that was like and you, well, there was a freedom to it and me and a freedom to do it, but it wasn't like that, I don't think so, I don't think you're as safe now with the same freedom. I know what you mean, this is a Lisa, you were very funny when you did an episode of Friends, you would also add that other one that you don't show, you suddenly choose, you see that it is also a black comedy, four years, yes, and Lisa wants to know if I'm going to do more comedy.

I'd love to. For me it is the best. It's the happiest way to spend the day. If I could do it every day, I'm trying. We are trying to get a program. getting cast and it's all that, those seasons are coming up now where we try to put the shows on and stuff, but I'm constantly trying to be on another show like that just because it was so fun to spend the day like that, it's so nice. This is from Tracy Hi Brooke, you look great. What are your tips for staying young after 40? I would love to hear them.

You are very useful. Thank you so much. It has to look and again feel like a Hallmark card. to do with the young leaf, feeling young, not getting into the routine of oh, I'm old or once I'm over 40 somehow, I'm this, you know, it's the simple things, it's allowing myself to keep having fun, not freaking out when I have wrinkles. It's not simply wanting to freeze my face so that I look of an age that I'm not. You know, I'm trying to grow chronologically and trying to be as much in the year that I have and not trying to go backwards.

You're okay, I do it. I recently had to stop working out for a few months and it killed me because that's what happens when I have a routine. I drink more water, you sleep better, yes, I drink less alcohol, as if that were the case. So take that away and I think I'll be surprised. I love that exercise, so it's more unfortunate when I have to do it right and then when I don't do one of them, sometimes I do that thing. where I don't do any of that, but you look at what you see, yeah, I mean, again you know, as a mother with my kids, it's like I have to live by example, like I can't have chocolate for breakfast, which I would, I would go have a cup of coffee in them, there's a chocolate, I'm fine, right, that's not the example you set for your kids, so I definitely exercise.

I don't necessarily get enough sleep, but when I do I look younger. And what's weird is this is also a funny thing I've been noticing lately, the heavier I am, the younger I look, oh yeah, so definitely when I put ten pounds on people it'll be like to teach you something in the face, not me. Like no, I'm just fat McPhatter, very nice, okay, that's it, yeah, or is it your face, are you doing it? Help, it's like a natural plump, absolutely, this is from Olivia, you wrote a book about your postpartum depression and it sounds scary, what was the scariest thing? time and why do you think such an important issue is swept under the rug eh, I think postpartum depression is one of those things where we don't want to admit it's real, we've been told it's the most natural thing in the world. world having children and you have a child and you look down on them and their world comes into focus and they are very far from being happy and I think people need to admit that that's the first part, which is the psychological aspect of it.

Something very strong biochemical happens that we don't want to admit because we are ashamed, so it was necessary to talk about it. The scariest part in the world for me was looking at my daughter and not really feeling connected. The whole feeling that she could just walk out of the room and never come back and that she would probably be better off now. It's a death. All I have ever wanted is to have more children since I was a child. I wanted to be a mother, but it happens and suddenly this devastating emotion comes over you and then I feel alienated even from the people who loved me the most, so luckily I found the right doctors and I found the right combination of medicine and psychology. and for me I found my version of what I needed as a recipe in life, people often don't know what is happening because the feelings are very real and they are tailored to each person, you know, you are the brilliant one, the bright.

The nature of depression is that it's very intelligent and it chooses, it's perfectly designed for you and it's perfectly designed for me, so use these negative negative questions in your head and you'll get real answers, you know, and so on, of course. I shouldn't be a mother, why should I be? I'm not normal, whatever the answer is. It's in your world, you know it in your life, so I think it's coming to the fore now. I mean, I think my book was one of the first books that really shed light on it. It's great that you did it.

I hope everyone. I'm listening to this because I knowthere is something to say, tell her while you have a cognitive sense about her and you know where her skills are still because the decline can be very fast, it can also take years, it's horrible to witness hmm, I knew I needed to see. so that at least I could be present for it, but no matter how much homework you do and no matter how much you say or do, no one could really prepare you for the moment when they take their last breath, but I can do everything I can to be there the best you can for yourself is because there is a sense of guilt that happens.

I'm just in the process of starting to deal with it, so I hadn't really done it on the other one. In the end, I'm less able to educate myself because I'm still in this, um, but she's over it, but I'm over it so far, it's only been about a month, but it's actually yeah, so you're just over it. It's not personal, although it feels incredibly personal, I think because of the things they say it is, her brain isn't working normally, we're almost out of time, but I wanted to see. Mary Jo wants to know what an important part of parenting is. to you Oh God, patience with which I have to fight.

I feel like the most important thing I've learned from living with these little people is patience but honesty, not demanding honesty from them, but showing them that you know I'll sit down and tell you that you know you have to help me with this. I don't understand, are you happy when you are bold with me? It makes you feel good? and my oldest said well, no punishment and I said, okay, but what she does and she says is like I can push you back and I said, okay, that's great, I can deal with that, let's deal with what you want and that's the natural thing, but instead what we do is we want to fight well because "I'm going to fight them, I mean, I want to fight her from morning to night, that's cool, so she's great that she's dead, she's that honest and you see something new too, a tug of war only works with two people okay so I just try to be really, really honest when she hurts my feelings really honest when I'm proud of her. really honest when I'm disappointed by her behavior true never who she is but her behavior recently she just said she was going to rat out her sister and it was a very embarrassing thing for her sister and I told her if I find out you've told anyone she said what are you going to do take something away from me like in a bold way and I said you know what not I'm not but if you tell anyone you'll know you're not a nice person oh wow she just left because all they want is approval from your mother right now they want attention and they want to push you until you want to wring their necks, really, though, she looked at me and I said and I know for a fact that you're a good human being, but if you do something like that, that's the message. that I will receive instead of taking the eye bath or whatever, they don't seem to care about the worst.

What my father would tell me is this. I am very, very disappointed. My mother used to say that it would be better if you beat her to death. Yes, you just crushed it. I just couldn't stand Poynting. It's primitive. And so I think you really demand honesty from them but you're willing to do it and it's hard because you want to say yes, you can watch a movie after dinner, you know, and then you're sure it's 7:30 and they shouldn't be doing it. you know and they have to go to bed and then you said you told me that I was catching you with little lies and you don't really want to say that they are lies, but I will tell you if there is time and done all the things that you need to do, yeah, but you have to stop, yes, and say that because then there will be reporters from Secutor, yes, one last question.

Mary Ann wants to know who is or was your biggest positive mentor, oh, you know, I'm in life regarding the treatment of other people was my mom, you know, she just made me so responsible and taught me to be accountable to feelings and the kindness of other people and you know manners and all that, that helped me, it helps you live life if you're kind, right, it's easier, so that's how it was and then I had a college professor who passed away and he was one of the first people to actually ask me what I thought about something mmm, I was used to taking. other people's thoughts and then expand on them by talking about them well, well, so and so said this and I think you know maybe they're right or whatever and he was the first person who didn't let me hear anyone else's opinion and He asked me first what I thought and when I said I don't know, he said: you will underline your books, right? and I said yes, he said, will someone stand behind you and tell you what part 2?

I'm not smart, because well. What do you highlight? I said why underline the important parts. He said: Oh, why don't you tell me when everything is important? And then I thought there was freedom and actually it was okay to have my own opinion. That's great. It was a bit clever of him, he was just very bright, he was an educator, a real educator. Well, thank you Brook, you are wonderful, thank you for sharing everything with us, sincere thanks to everyone, thank you all, have a happy holiday. and I'll see you next time