Trump roasts Clinton at Al Smith charity dinner

thank you all wow, it was good, it's an amazing

dinner

, well I want to thank your eminence, it's really great to be with you again, we love it, governor cuomo, a great senator, hi chuck, he loved me when he was a democrat. you know mayor de blasio, wherever you are, where is meredith, bless you hello in the old days, I would have known him very well, but I haven't been doing much of the real estate anymore and I want to thank uh al and nan

smith

uh just a fantastic job you do with

dinner

and congratulations on our records of over six million dollars, that's right your record and a special shout out to all of you in this room who have known me and loved me for many, many years, it's true, the politicians who have taken me to their homes, introduced me to their children, I became their best friends, in many cases they asked me for my support and always wanted my money and even called me very dear, dear friend, but suddenly They decided when.

I ran for president as a Republican and I've always been a disgusting, obnoxious scoundrel and they completely forgot about me, but it's okay, you know, they say when you do these kinds of events you always start with a self-deprecating joke. Some people think that this would be difficult for me, but the truth is that I am actually a modest person, very modest, it is true, in fact, many people tell me that modesty is perhaps my best quality, even better than my temperament, You already know Cardinal Dolan and I have a few things in common, for example, we both have impressive properties on Fifth Avenue, of course, his is much more impressive than mine, because I built mine with my own beautifully formed hands, while that theirs was built with the hands of God and no one can compete with them.

God is that right, no one, right, that's right, no, no contact, it's great to be here with a thousand wonderful people or, as I call it, a small intimate dinner with some friends or, as Hillary calls it, her biggest crowd of the season, ah, this is cheesy. things, I recognize that I come to this event with a bit of an advantage. I know that many of you in the archdiocese already have a place in your hearts for a man who started out as a carpenter working for his father. I was a carpenter working for my team not for a long period of time, but I was for about three weeks.

The good thing about the Al Smith dinner is that even in the hectic world of a really close campaign, I actually don't know. yes you know hillary, but last night they said that was the cruelest debate in the history of politics, the presidential debate, the cruelest, and I don't know if we're supposed to be proud of that or we're supposed to be unhappy, but they said that and I'm trying to remember Lincoln. I don't think they can really compete with that, but the candidates have some light-hearted moments together, which is true. I have no doubt that Hillary is going to get a few laughs tonight, sometimes even at an appropriate time, and even tonight, with all the heated exchanges between my opponent and me in last night's debate, we have shown that we can be civil with each other, in fact, just before taking the stand, Hillary accidentally bumped into me and she very politely said forgive me and I very politely replied let me talk to you about it after I take office.

Just kidding, Jessica and Hillary were very nice and said that if she somehow gets elected, she wants me to be, without a doubt, her ambassador to Iraq or going to Afghanistan is my choice, but one of the things I noticed this night and I've known Hillary for a long time is that this is the first time Hillary has sat down and talked to top corporate leaders and she's not getting paid for it, it's true. You know, last night I called Hillary a nasty woman, but this is all relative after listening to Hillary Rattle over and over again, I don't think so badly of Rosie O'Donnell anymore, in fact, I'm starting to like Rosie.

Many of these events not only give candidates the opportunity to be together in a very social setting, but they also give candidates the opportunity to meet other candidates' teams. Good team. I know that Hillary met my campaign manager and I had the opportunity to meet the people who are working so hard to get her elected there are the heads of nbc cnn cbs abc there is the new york times and the washington post they are working hours extras right oh this is going to get me in trouble not with hillary You know, the president told me to stop complaining, but I really have to say that the media is even more biased this year than ever.

You want the proof. Michelle Obama gives a speech and everyone loves it. It's fantastic. They think it's absolutely brilliant. My wife Melania. She gives the exact same speech and people take up her case and I don't understand it, I don't know why and it wasn't her fault, get up, Melania, come on, she took a lot of abuse, oh, I'm in trouble when Go Home is here evening. She didn't know anything about that. I'm fine? I said, "Okay, Cardinal, please talk to her. I would like to address an important religious issue, the issue of going to confession or, as Hillary calls it, the Fourth of July weekend with FBI Director Comey." , now I'm told that Hillary went to confession before tonight's event but the priest was having a hard time when he asked her about her sins and she said she couldn't remember 39 times that Hillary is so corrupt that she got kicked out of the Watergate commission how corrupt do you have to be to be expelled from the watergate commission quite corrupt hillary is and has been in politics since the 70s what is his speech the economy has failed the government is corrupt washington is failing vote for me I have been working on these problems for 30 years i can fix it she says i wasn't really sure if hillary was going to be here tonight because i guess you didn't email her the invitation or maybe you did and she just found out through the wonder of wikileaks we have learned a lot from wikileaks, for example, hillary believes that it is vital to deceive people by having a public policy and a totally different policy in private, that's fine, I don't know who they are angry with, hillary, you For example, here she is tonight in public pretending not to hate Catholics.

Some of you haven't realized that Hillary doesn't laugh as much as the rest of us, that's because she knows the jokes and all the jokes were told to her. dinner preview by donna brazile that everyone knows, of course, hillary's belief that it takes a village, which, after all, only makes sense in places like haiti, where she has taken several of them , thank you, I don't know and I don't want to Tonight, without saying anything nice about my opponent, Hillary has been in Washington for a long time. She knows a lot about how the government works and, according to her sworn testimony, Hillary has forgotten more things than most of us will ever know.

We're having fun here tonight and that's good on a personal level. What an incredible honor it is to be with all of you. I want to congratulate Hillary for getting the nomination and we are there fighting and for the next 19 days. I'm going to be elected, we'll see what happens, but I have great memories of attending this dinner with my father over the years when he was young. A great experience for me. It was always a special experience for him and me to be together. What we can all agree on is the need to support the great work that comes out of the dinner.

Millions of dollars have been raised to support disadvantaged children and I applaud the many people who have worked to make this wonderful event a vital lifeline for children in need and that together we broke the all-time record tonight is truly something special over six million net net the cardinal told me it is net net donald remembers that we can also agree on the need to confront anti-Catholic bias to defend religious freedom and create a culture that celebrates life, the United States is divided in many ways, thank you, America is divided in many ways like never before and the great religious leaders here tonight give us all an example we can follow, we are living in a time and age we never thought possible before the cruel barbarism that we had read about in history books, but never thought we would see it in our so-called modern world, who would have thought that we would be witnessing what we are witnessing today?

We have to be very strong, very, very smart and we have to come together not only as a nation but as a global community. Thank you so much. God bless you and God bless America. Thank you. Thank you so much.