Khal Drogo's Ghost Dojo - SNL

OKAY, WELCOME TO KHAL'S DRUG GHOST DOJO, WHERE WE TALK TO SOME OF THE HUNDREDS OF "GAME OF THRONES" CHARACTERS WHO HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED FROM THE SHOW. I AM ZERBO, BLOOD AUTHOR OF THE GREAT CARL HIMSELF. CARL, HOW ARE YOU FEELING TONIGHT? MM. EVERYTHING WELL. So, Carl's not the most talkative, but he's a cool guy when you get to know him. DO YOU HAVE A FUN PLAN FOR THE WEEKEND, KARL? FRESH. CO, CO, CO, CO, FRESH. VERY STILL. VERY COOL. DO YOU MIND CLOSING YOUR LEGS A LITTLE, KARL? HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE TERM MAN? YOU NEVER KNOW HOW FAST A CHARACTER WILL BE KILLED!

AND I'M BACK. REVIVED BY A WITCH. ALRIGHT. LET'S START THE SHOW AND MEET OUR FIRST GHOST. HE SACRIFICED HIS LIFE TO SAVE BRANDON MIRA. PLEASE WELCOME HODOR! ♪♪♪ HODOR. WHAT DID YOU DO? HODOR. BECAUSE? WHAT DID YOU DO? HODOR. WELL, THAT WAS GREAT. THANK YOU FOR STOPING HERE, HODOR. VERY HAPPY THAT WE HAVE BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER. Hey, would you mind holding the door for our next guest? HOLD THE DOOR? HOLD THE DOOR! HOLD THE DOOR! HODOR! THANK YOU, HODOR. YES PLEASE, THERE IS NO PROBLEM. NO PROBLEM. EVERYTHING WELL. OUR NEXT GUEST WAS A RELIGIOUS FANATIC WHO LEADED THE FACE OF THE SEPTON UNTIL HE WAS EXPLOITED.

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE HIGH SPARROW. SHAME, SHAME. I'M JUST PLAYING. I'M GLAD. ALL THE TIME AND NEVER HAD SEX. TRUE. AND WE ENDED UP IN THE SAME SKY! IT ALMOST MAKES YOU QUESTION YOUR RELIGION. WELL, HEY, YOU HAVE THAT FULL TEAM. YOU DON'T LIKE THE TEAM? YOU RUINED MY SACK OF POTATOES! WOW! WELL. I REALLY NEED TO SAVE SOME OF THAT MELTED GOLD TO MAKE A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, BUT DON'T WORRY, I GUESS. THERE IS DANGER. WHERE ARE THE STARK KIDS? ARYA, SANSA, THE SANDING OF THE SLED. WAIT, BRIENNE FROM TARTH? YOU ARE DEAD? I mean, the show has been out for so long, I honestly wonder.

I HAVE MADE A BLOOD OATH TO FIND AND PROTECT THE CHILDREN OF THE STARS WHEREVER THEY ARE FOUND. MAN, WOW, YOU HAVE A LOT TO LEARN ABOUT IDENTITY POLITICS. . YOU'RE RIGHT. KHAL NEEDS TO LEARN FROM HIS MISTAKES OR KHAL NEVER WINS THE OSCAR. KHAL NEVER HAS AN OSCAR. WOW, WHAT A TEACHABLE MOMENT, YES. NOW A QUICK WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS. KHAL DROGO'S GHOST DOJO IS BROUGHT TO YOU by LITTLE BEARD TWISTIES. DO YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR BEARD CLEAN BUT STILL LOOSE AND CRAZY? LITTLE CROWN BEARDS. AND DO YOU REMEMBER THE RED WEDDING? WELL, THAT PLACE IS NOW OPEN FOR YOUR WEDDING.

WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF IT HAPPING TWICE? WE CLEANED ALMOST ALL THE BLOOD AND HIRE A NEW WEDDING PLANNER. DOTHRAKI WARDROBE PROVIDED BY DEAD HORSES. WHEN A HORSE DIES, YOU WIN. AND IF YOU LIKE ELF ON A SHELF, PREPARE FOR KHAL ON THE WALL. He knows when you have been naughty and he will kill you. WELL, WE'RE BACK. KHAL IS JUST EATING RIBS, WHICH MEANS IT'S TIME FOR OUR LAST GUEST. HE'S THE WORST AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY HE'S DEAD. PLEASE WELCOME, KING JOFFREY! ♪♪♪ GO AHEAD AND BOO ME. I LOVE IT. YOU ARE ALL ANGRY BECAUSE IT'S NOT ME.

BUT CATCH ME OUTSIDE! I SAID CATCH ME OUTSIDE! MAN, YOU'RE JUST DESPISED. THEY THINK THEY CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS. I EAT HATERS. VERY GOOD, NOW, JOFFREY, YOU WERE POISONED TO DEATH, RIGHT? HEY, WHATEVER. WELL, WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE WOMAN WHO POISONED YOU WAS HERE TONIGHT? OLENNA TYRELL, GET OUT OF HERE! OH, I KNOW YOU! I'M ABOUT TO KILL YOU AGAIN JUST FOR , , . LET'S BREAK IT! LET'S BREAK IT. WE TAKE A BREAK. WHEN WE RETURN WE WILL SEE THE RESULTS OF OUR GREAT MAKEOVER. This is what OBERYN MARTELL looked like AFTER THE MOUNTAIN TOOK HIS EYES OUT AND CRUSHED HIS SKULL.

AND THIS IS HOW IT LOOKS NOW. ♪♪♪ THAT'S WHAT IT IS. HERE AT KHAL DROGO'S GHOST DOJO! AND HEY, STAY TUNED AFTER THE "TALKING DOJO" SHOW WHERE WE DISSECT EVERYTHING THAT JUST HAPPENED AT THE GHOST DOJO. ♪♪♪ NO MORE AFTER SHOWS! BEST ADVICE!