I Tried Working In An Office ...but My Coworker is Creepy Again

oh hey, are you enjoying that coffee? Don't talk to me, Jeremy. I just asked you a question. It's just a simple question out of courtesy. Make sure my neck is okay. I'm buttoned up. It's Friday. Is the end. The work week is my last day of the week at this stupid

office

job if I can make it through this last day without burning this place to the ground it will be a miracle that's right I left YouTube

again

to work an

office

job but I hate being here, I'm in a cubicle all day writing in this uncomfortable button-down work shirt.

One day they unbuttoned my button, no, no, my stupid cubicle

coworker

, Jeremy, ratted me out. They wrote to me and now I have a button. and a little with my tongue I

tried

to open my neck once you know feel good feel good about myself one day jeremy will take me out

again

they wrote me again I'm on thin ice but so is everyone else in this place because I'm ready to burn it to the ground, but you know, happy Friday, I'm wiring up to do my job. No one better talk to me, especially Jeremy, today or I'll lose him.

I will lose it. Okay, I'm logging in. There we go, yeah, oh yeah, I'm such a good typist, the best worker they have. I'll show you my cubicle, although I have to keep writing. Okay, I'm just writing below. I will show you. Look, this is it. My happy snail, it also keeps me from burning this place to the ground every time I feel intense rage and anger at having to spend all my days here with people I hate doing something I hate. I look at my happy snail and he makes me feel good inside. Look at the x's on the calendar.

Those were the days I almost burned this place to the ground, but I didn't. The ceiling makes me angry. Who designed this? Made my keyboard really pretty. Yes, the only thing in my life that prevents me from burning this. put down my coffee here it is yes it's okay here we go there let's see I'm still a fan of typing uh oh wait wait I'll do it at the same time ah pure happiness in a cup oh yes yes come on do it again ah thank god uh thank god for your coffee nothing in the world can make me as happy as you hello happy snail I'm in my happy place right now can snails drink coffee or it will melt you hmm by the way I'm an amazing worker as you can see I'm still writing .

I wonder what I'll do this weekend. I probably lie in the fetal position. Good job down there. Why don't you take a look up here? Jeremy, are you enjoying yourself? there's coffee don't talk to me jeremy don't talk to me I'm just asking you a question it's just a simple question out of politeness but I would still respect an answer just a simple yes or no are you enjoying his cup leaving? Jeremy, I know you know I'm here because we made eye contact, uh, no, he didn't look at me, I looked at you, I stared at my happy snail, how that coffee was and it just vanished like it was nothing. it happened jeremy, for the love of god go away, it's just a simple question, remove your weird blinking.

Is there someone at home? Maybe I just asked you a question. It's just a simple question out of courtesy. Yeah, well, anyway, I thought I'd let you know. that drinks aren't actually allowed in the office, they somehow covered it in the mandatory anti-external sustenance seminars we have to go to twice a week, I'm sure you've been there, but in case I forgot that they definitely don't allow drinks so oh you gotta be kidding me jeremy saving that you gotta be kidding jeremy drinking it I don't care go away I didn't warn you yeah I hate. you jeremy i hate you jeremy this is the only thing that keeps me happy this is the only thing that keeps me happy and you want to take away my happiness jeremy happiness do you hear that jeremy I'm still sipping over here okay it's just happiness cough what is this?

Your work performance has dropped by about half oh oh, you gotta be kidding me management please pick up the pace are you looking at this talent? I mean, I guess half because I'm not using both hands, but I know. You used a happy face to try to keep me happy, but my coffee keeps me happier, so I'll do what I want. You can't tell me what to do. I still drink too much of my cup coffee. Just a reminder of the company motto. both hands on the keys make the job easier oh, his smiling face is now an angry face.

You know what I think about your company motto. For your safety, you should allow me to continue drinking my coffee because that's the only thing stopping me from burning this thing again. place on the floor now we will monitor employee activity sad face management I'm pretty sure I have rights okay, where you monitor you can't see what I'm doing I'm safe in my cubicle you're a trash can, see me right now where you are where are you oh oh god oh god oh oh ah I'm still

working

that's what I think of your stupid policy I'll drink my coffee at all costs I don't care my boss is calling oh well oh god oh god, what no, no, I don't want to talk to you, seriously, you made me use the force pick up button, uh, yeah, this is your boss speaking and i have received several complaints about your work performance from jeremy jeremy, you piece of trash on the desk, so I'm going to need you to put down that cup and never work.

You do not understand? No, look, I don't know what happened to you. You used to be a very good worker. And I think? Are you having a bad week? or something, I'm having a bad year, let me know, you understand, I'm not leaving until I get an answer, jeremy, by the way, I'll throw my scalding hot coffee at you, yes, I have meetings, I'm so busy I have to. I work all day every hour on important things and I can't waste my valuable time on things like this. Listen, this is really messing up my schedule. In fact, I have a meeting in about two minutes.

In fact, in rescheduling him, he is rescheduling his meetings. Look at me, look at me, drink my coffee in front of you. You see that your actions have consequences. You are costing the company literally millions. I've been here since the beginning. I have worked. How long does this last for sacrificing my time to help this corporation? I've earned the CEO enough money to retire on any yacht he wants, and I'm not going to let a little coffee take that achievement away from me. You know, I can see you in the pictures, the cameras are live. I'm glad you can hello hello hello it's over.

I'm really going to need you to answer me now just put down the coffee that's all I want I'm never that high did you burn the place to the ground why are there people? Screaming, it's turning red, someone else burned this place to the ground, someone else got there before me, no, I'm just going to stay, I hope Jeremy's gone, I hope Jeremy was the first victim, well, the whiskey that I put in my coffee is finally

working

. Maybe that wasn't whiskey, I think it was stronger than whiskey. There is a melted sticker on the bottom of my bug.

If you're wondering what this was, uh, I'm free, I'm finally free, so our Kiro dunks it, oh god. God, my coffee is rainbow colored, ooh, so our hero dives into the unknown depths of time and space to search for the answers to life's most mysterious questions, although one thing is certain, the future is open. for those who have coffee on their side, even if it is. cheap office coffee, that's right, that's right, anything is possible with enough caffeine and other things poured into coffee to make you travel like that. I'm so glad someone destroyed this place.

I just said it wasn't me. I was very close. I was very, very close to doing it myself there goes my computer bye bye computer where's my snail calendar? I still want my happy snail calendar there it is, oh yeah, I don't want to leave this empty, it's cute, oh, is it making me, is it making me? leave the void I don't want to leave the void oh you're making me leave the void no that's not right, well, um, back to youtube for me because my office has gone to oblivion where it deserves to be, I'm out of coffee, oh no Oh no, life is meaningless without coffee.