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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Abandonment Anxiety

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Abandonment Anxiety
hey daar almal en welkom by hierdie episode oor 'n kognitiewe gedragsbenadering om verlate angs aan te spreek, ek is u gasheer dr donnelly snipes in hierdie aanbieding, ons gaan die kognitiewe gedragsbenadering ondersoek wat ons gaan om verlating angs te ondersoek. dit en identifiseer sommige kognitiewe gedrag tegnieke om hulp mense aan te spreek dit so net 'n vinnige recap as jy nie vertroud is met die kognitiewe gedrag benadering die kognitiewe gedrag benadering voer aan dat ons gedagtes gevoelens gedrag en persepsies al met mekaar so ons gedagtes As ons byvoorbeeld 'n negatiewe ingesteldheid het, kan dit 'n impak hê op wat ons sien as ons in 'n onaangename bui is, ons brein is geneig om meer te fokus op die bedreigings in die omgewing as ons in 'n gelukkige bui is, maar ons brein betaal eintlik meer aandag aan sommige van die positiewe dinge, sodat ons gedagtes ons persepsies beïnvloed, ons gedagtes kan ons gevoelens beïnvloed as ons pessimisties is of nie gative gedagtes dit kan gevoelens van angs of woede of depressie ons gedagtes te verhoog kan beïnvloed ons gedrag wat jy weet as jy dink dat daar iets is gereed om verkeerd gaan dan kan jy eintlik gedrags- stappe te doen om dit te verander en jy kan sien uit hierdie uh aanbieding van hierdie skyfie dat al die dinge interaksie het en waar u ook al begin, of u nou met gedrag of gedagtes of persepsies begin, elkeen van hulle gaan met die ander reageer, so ek gaan nie in detail gaan nie, want daar is baie van ander video's oor kognitiewe gedrag, maar dit is belangrik om 'n algemene begrip te hê van die kognitiewe gedragsteorie wanneer ons begin praat oor verlatenheidsangs, want verlatingsangs bevat beide gedagtes oor verlatingpersepsies van mense en die wêreld en ons gevoelens oor ander en oor uself. in gedrag, of u nou 'n berader is van 'n maatskaplike werker -sielkundige, of selfs 'n gevolmagtigde vir die departement Van kinders en gesinne sal u waarskynlik mense met verlate angs teëkom, maar ongelukkig lei dit tot verlate angs, en in ander episodes het ons baie gepraat oor die hpa -as of ons bedreigingsreaksiestelsel as mense vrees verlating as mense iets vrees , hou die bedreigingsreaksie-stelsel 'n bietjie op, so daar is 'n konstante of semi-konstante onderstroom van angs, en wag dat die ander skoen val as jy wil as die hpa-as die bedreigingsreaksie-stelsel bly geaktiveer vir te lank dit begin veroorsaak werklike veranderinge in die brein dit bydra tot stres-verwante gesondheid probleme insluitend outo-immuun versteurings probleme besturende bloedsuiker kardiovaskulêre siekte sirkadiese ritme ontwrigting emosionele dysregulation wat wanneer iemand gaan van gevoel plat of miskien selfs okay om met 'n uiterste reaksie op 'n situasie, ek noem dit plat tot woedend, dit kan 'n negatiewe uitwerking hê, wat beteken s hulle voel depressief angstig kwaad skuldig enige van dié dysphoric gevoelens en en wanneer ons so voel dit is 'n aanduiding dat ons neurotransmitters ook begin om onevenwichtig omdat ons neurotransmitters help ons voel ons gevoelens mense wat hierdie onderliggende stroom van angs gaan word meer geneig wees om kennis te sien die bedreigings in die omgewing en nie-werkwoorde se mense selfs jy weet net minut mikro uitdrukkings wat hulle pessimistically of negatief kan interpreteer wat bydra tot en verhoog hul gevoel van unsafeness al hierdie soort voeg tot probleme ontwikkel gesonde verhoudings, want omdat dit moeilik is om ander te vertrou as mense met verlate angs in verhoudings begin beland, begin hulle die mikro -uitdrukkings opmerk, hulle begin dinge opmerk en aanvaar dat dit beteken dat hulle gereed is om verlate te word, maar die meeste mense het 'n mate van angs in verhoudings, want as jy in 'n verhouding is, is jy is geneig om op 'n stadium kwesbaar te word, en die persoon word belangrik in u lewe, en dit kan intieme verhoudings wees, dit kan u beste vriend wees, maar as u dinge begin vertel wat u nie vir almal vertel as u kwesbaar raak as u dit toelaat nie hulle het in jou hart so te sê jy het joune 'n keuse gemaak om jouself kwesbaar te maak omdat jy daardie persoon vertrou om jou nie seer te maak nie, maar dit is natuurlik dat jy hier en daar 'n bietjie angs het en die verskil is met verlatenheids angs ervaar die persoon hierdie vrees vir verlating, ervaar hierdie persoon hierdie angs byna konstant; dit kan oorweldigend wees en dit beïnvloed een of meer areas van hul lewe negatief, sodat hulle voortdurend na hul beduidende ander of hul vriend kan kyk vir enige aanduiding dat daardie persoon gaan hulle in die steek laat, miskien het hul beste vriend die naweek saam met iemand uitgegaan om iets te doen, en dit kan per nade deur iemand met oorgawe angs as 'n aanduiding dat hulle gereed te kry geskop om die randsteen baie keer verlating angs begin met 'n traumatiese ervaring nou hierdie 'n traumatiese ervaring van kleins af kan wees wanneer die persoon nie 'n veilige beslaglegging met gehad het nie hul primêre versorgers en hulle het baie boodskappe gekry oor die veiligheid en voorspelbaarheid en betroubaarheid van ander en hul eie liefde, of, en u weet dit kan mense ongelukkig traumatiese kinderjare en traumatiese volwassenheid hê, maar u hoef soms nie traumatiese kinderjare te hê nie die afskaffing angs begin nadat 'n traumatiese gebeurtenis in die volwasse lewe en nie al verlating angs resultate van iemand opsetlik verlaat soms die 'n persoon sal skielik verbygaan en wat beskou word as afstanddoening jy weet dit is nie wat die persoon gekies het om weg te trek, maar almal van 'n skielik is die persoon nie meer in u lewe nie, en u word verbyster en soms veral as dit gebeur baie of genoeg, dit kan uiters skrikwekkend wees om naby iemand te kom, want omdat mense bang word dat jy opsetlik gaan, of dat jy sal sterf, is jy in elk geval weg as mense hierdie traumatiese ervarings beleef herinneringe aan die traumatiese gebeurtenis word geaktiveer wanneer die persoon in die toekoms met soortgelyke situasies te kampe het, dus wanneer hulle naby iemand begin kom of naby iemand wil kom of in 'n verhouding is en iemand iets doen wat hulle herinner aan 'n vorige verhouding wat sleg geëindig het, gebruik hulle gewoonlik die herinneringe wat hulle het, want die herinneringe lei ons vermoë om die toekoms te voorspel, dus as hulle in hierdie verhoudings beland en kwesbaar is , kan hulle staatmaak op verouderde skrifte of herinneringe om die huidige persoon te voorspel toekomstige gedrag, en dit is 'n groot uitdaging as u die verlatenheidsangstigheid hanteer en dat verhoudings in die algemeen nie u huidige maat of vriend inhou nie gyselaar vir die foute wat mense in u verlede gemaak het, sou hulle seker maak dat hulle dit beslis sal regkry; u kan nie die toekoms voorspel nie, dus is dit belangrik om die ervarings uit die verlede te gebruik om u bewustheid in te lig, maar ook om die huidige konteks te gebruik en ons gaan praat oor konteks wanneer ons in die hanteringsvaardighede beland, maar gebruik die huidige konteks om in die verlede goed te sê wanneer so iets gebeur het toe ek kwesbaar begin voel het, maar ek is in die steek gelaat, maar in die verlede huidige konteks, watter feite het ek, om die oortuiging te ondersteun dat hierdie persoon dieselfde in elk geval gaan doen, as mense met verlate angs in verhoudings beland en kwesbaar is of selfs daaraan dink om in verhoudings aan te gaan en daaraan dink om kwesbaar te raak, dan kan hulle hoë vlakke van angs veroorsaak omdat dit so seer is voordat dit kan lei tot selfbehoudsgedrag wat ek dit noem, hulle kan verwerp word, hulle kan net sê okay ek gaan ba sny dit wil nie nou op daardie pad onveilig wees nie, of hulle kan die ander persoon begin kritiseer om te probeer weet dat hulle dit nie so uitdink nie. sny iemand af, maar as hulle die ander persoon begin kritiseer, kan hulle voel dat hulle die ander persoon minder geneig is om te vertrek, omdat hulle die selfbeeld van die persoon verlaag het, en dit kan daartoe lei dat hulle 'n baie klouerige gedrag bly waar hulle SMS die hele tyd hulle roeping al die tyd hul vennoot hul vriend kan nie iewers heen te gaan sonder dat hulle of uitstal hoë vlakke van jaloesie jy weet daar is 'n baie verskillende maniere waarop mense kan probeer om hulself te beskerm teen oorgawe en uit 'n oorlewing standpunt dit kan sinvol wees, jy kan sien dat jy weet hoe hierdie gedrag op een of ander manier sinvol kan wees om te voorkom dat die persoon onverhoeds betrap word of laat vaar word, maar ongelukkig is hierdie gedrag dikwels ongesond en kan dit 'n selfvervulling veroorsaak deur profesie, sodat wanneer hulle klouerig of jaloers of uitermatig krities raak of dikwels verwerp, dit wel die ander persoon wegstoot, sodat die ander persoon dit verlaat, versterk hulle die geloof dat niemand betroubaar of veilig is nie, en haal almal aan, sodat ons hierdie selfbestendige mens kan skep siklus of ons sien dit word geskep, wat doen ons goed, die eerste ding as mense verlating ervaar het, of dit ' n trauma of 'n volwassene was toe hulle 'n baba of 'n volwassene was;
cognitive behavioral therapy for abandonment anxiety
Om veiligheid te begin skep, gaan ons nie buite ons gemaksone kom as ons nie eers veilig kan voel nie , omdat u weet dat as ons nie 'n gemaksone het nie, dit moeilik is om vorentoe te beweeg, so ons moet help mense om veilig te voel, en die eerste stap waarmee ek gewoonlik saam met mense werk, is om hulle te help om 'n veilige verbintenis met hulleself te skep, en ek weet dat dit vreemd klink, maar baie keer is mense met 'n hoë afstand angs was verkleurmannetjies, hulle het nie outentiek gelewe nie, omdat hulle probeer het om te wees wat die ander persoon wil hê om te verhoed dat hulle weggaan, so ek het 'n geheue visceraal geskep en ek hou daarvan omdat veiligheid sowel as verhoudings baie belangrik is. visceraal voel ons hulle in ons ingewande, so validering is die v in visceraal wat ons nodig het om mense te help om hul gevoelens te bekragtig, en dit is waar ons begin praat oor mindfulness en bewus word van hoe hulle voel en nie-veroordelend aanvaar.
cognitive behavioral therapy for abandonment anxiety

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Ek voel angstig, ek is kwaad, ek voel verward, ongeag die persoon se gevoel, moedig hulle aan om te begin besef wat hulle gevoelens en behoeftes is, en bevestig dat dit goed is, so voel jy dat ons nie oordeel nie. dit is goed of sleg, ons sê net ek erken dat jy kwaad of angstig voel, of wat ook al, dit is die eerste ding en vir baie mense is dit r bevooroordeeld met moet en om te aanvaar hoe hulle nie-veroordelend voel, is regtig baie moeiliker as wat u sou dink, so ek moedig mense aan om nie hierdeur te jaag nie, begin regtig om bewus te word en te bevestig hoe hulle nie-veroordelend voel. nou is die interessante ding met emosies: emosies is die manier waarop ons liggaam met ons kan kommunikeer as ons gelukkig is, ons liggaam se sê doen dit weer as ons angstig of kwaad is, en ons liggame sê dat daar 'n bedreiging kan wees, so ek sal dit vir u gee 'n klomp energie sodat u kan gaan kyk of dit 'n bietjie soos die rookalarm van die liggaam is, en dit is belangrik om dit te erken, net omdat u kwaad of angstig voel, beteken nie noodwendig dat daar iets is om kwaad of angstig te wees nie In die huidige konteks kan dit herinneringe uit die verlede wees wat voorlê en vir u sê wat u moet verwag, dus dit is regtig belangrik om te erken dat gevoelens daar is vir 'n rede en as ek erken rand wat ek angstig is voel ek om dit te bekragtig en ek sê okay ek is angstig nie goed nie sleg dit net is dan wat ek kan doen stappe om te check dit uit te verseker my veiligheid en adres daardie gevoelens so validering te verbeter emosionele bewustheid is gevoel Eerstens staan ​​ek vir intimiteit en verbinding, en dit beteken om met jouself verbind te word, om te leer hoe om outentiek te wees, om te weet wat jou gedagtes wil en behoeftes is, en dit is self-intimiteit, baie mense werk op 'n outomatiese piloot en dit is nie verbind nie, dit is nie 'n self nie O, aanduiding van self-intimiteit, sodat mense moet begin ondersoek wanneer hulle hul gevoelens bekragtig, hulle hul gedagtes wil en behoeftes bevestig, en dan begin hulle hulself afvra dat hulle hierdie intimiteit ontwikkel, hierdie nuuskierigheid om hul standpunt en hul standaard skema te verstaan, en begin goed sê Ek is nuuskierig, waarom voel ek nou angstig, wat is hierdie standpunt wat my angs veroorsaak?
cognitive behavioral therapy for abandonment anxiety
Wat is my standpunt en weet u wat die standaardskema is herinneringe as jy sal wat die herinneringe wat my vertel of verwek hierdie gevoelens reg nou en dan is hulle akkuraat in erwe die huidige konteks is vir veiligheid en grense en dit is belangrik om dit te doen met ander mense, maar dit is ook belangrik om dit te doen met onsself te erken in staat is om onsself en gebruik nood verdraagsaam gedagtes te praat en wat ek bedoel met dit is in plaas daarvan om te sê ek kan dit dit gaan my oorweldig ii kan nie so aangaan met behulp van nood verdraagsaam gedagtes wat sê dit nie hanteer dit werklik onaangename en ek weet dat ek daardeur kan kom, sodat die skep van veiligheid in u eie kop baie nuttig kan wees, en dan kan u leer hoe om grense te begin stel , en u gaan nie baie grense met uself stel nie, maar u begin om die persoon stel grense met ander mense, so herken waar hulle is, jy weet of hulle tydens 'n vergadering is as hulle aan die werk is as hulle saam met iemand wil eet om die persoon aan te moedig om bewustelik bewus te wees van hul lewens. oughts behoeftes en begeertes en erken dat dit is my hulle kan nie Sally word is of gimnasiums of wip dit is my gedagtes wil en moet nou en jy weet hulle kan hul eie het ek is hier is hulle daar so deel van die opstel van grense is die erkenning van waar jy eindig en die ander persoon begin c staan ​​vir konsekwentheid en voorspelbaarheid, en ons moet konsekwent en voorspelbaar met onsself wees as ons angstig voel as ons kwaad voel as ons depressief voel, as ons honger voel, dit is konsekwent om bedag te wees en te reageer in 'n voorspelbare wat ons doen, is om te leer hoe om ons te voed as ons hierdie veilige gehegtheid begin skep met ons self nommer een, ons modelleer vir ander mense wat ons verdien nommer twee, ons leer wat ons verdien en en nommer drie wat ons skep ons eerste potensieel gesonde verhouding, so konsekwentheid en voorspelbaarheid is regtig belangrik, nie almal is so gestruktureerd soos ek nie, en u weet dat u volgens u skedules moet leef Maar om voorspelbaar te wees in u reaksies op uself as u seer het as u siek is, as u moeg is, voorspelbaar reageer en probeer om vir u te kry wat u nodig het. e staan ​​vir aanmoediging en koestering vir selfdoeltreffendheid, sodat u om die persoon te help om aan te moedig en die beste te wees, hul eie beste cheerleader, want ons het nie altyd mense wat vir ons gaan cheerlead nie en dit is belangrik dat mense selfversekerd en selfversekerd kan voel in hul vermoë om nie net die lewe te leef nie, maar ook om te bereik die dinge wat vir hulle belangrik is om mense te help om te leer hoe om die slim doelwitte te stel, spesifieke meetbare haalbare relevante en tydsbeperkte kan baie nuttig wees, want dan kan hulle vordering sien en ek moedig mense aan as u met kliënte werk om dit te hê stel mikrodoelwitte, wat is u doel vir vandag, of miskien is dit u doelwit vir hierdie ontmoeting wat u ken of hierdie aandete waarna u gaan, dit gaan nie oor verander nie d vir altyd meer gaan dit oor hoe vordering in staat is om deur situasies te kom wat voorheen ontstaan ​​het, sonder om dit te veroorsaak . reageer op reaksie op reaksie op die hantering en probleemoplossing, en dit is belangrik dat mense die vaardighede in die hantering en probleemoplossing begin ontwikkel, maar dat hulle eers moet identifiseer wat hul nood veroorsaak, u kan nie iets regstel as u nie weet wat verkeerd is nie, u moet daaraan dink as u 'n lek by die huis het, weet u dat die waterdruk laer is, maar u moet uitvind waar dit vandaan kom voordat jy selfs kan begin probeer om die probleem op te los sodat reaksie is werklik belangrik en 'n deel daarvan behels om mense te help vaardighede wat effektief is leer vir hulle om te gaan met nood 'n staan vir egtheid om gevoelens voel en treur verliese en dis baie belangrik as u u gevoelens erken, weet u dat validering erken dat u hartseer voel, dat u ' n verlies voel, byvoorbeeld dat u joune kan toelaat elf om deur die rouproses te beweeg in plaas daarvan om dit in 'n boks te probeer opdok en iewers agter in jou kop terug te stoot, sodat jy daardie smart outentiek kan ervaar en daardeur kan beweeg, en uiteindelik staan ​​ek vir liefde, en dit is die onvoorwaardelike soort wat erken dat jy is anders as u gedrag wat u ken, daarom is dit baie belangrik om mense te help om hulself as lieflik te sien, hulself as waardig beskou, ja, hulle gaan foute begaan, hulle gaan dinge doen waarvan hulle nie hou nie, maar waaroor hulle spyt is. wanneer jy werk met mense om hulle te help ontwikkel die veilige beslaglegging met hulself jy weet gaan deur die visserale mnemoniese en dan vra hulle hoe kan hulle hoe hulle op die oomblik vul of versuim om hierdie behoeftes in hul verhouding vervul met hulself baie keer hulle doen sommige van hulle 'n bietjie.
cognitive behavioral therapy for abandonment anxiety
U weet wat ons wil doen, is om dit te verbeter, sodat hulle 'n veilige verhouding met hulself kan skep en dit dan kan hê ontdek hoe hulle hierdie behoeftes in hul verhouding met ander vervul of nie, as hulle nie met hul kind praat nie, hul beste vriend, hul beduidende ander, op watter maniere valideer hulle daardie persoon, op watter maniere probeer hulle die persoon se begrip verstaan? standpunt en raak betrokke by intimiteit en verbintenis, op watter maniere help hulle om veiligheid te skep, op watter maniere is hulle konsekwent en bemoedigend en reageer hulle op watter maniere hulle toelaat dat daardie persoon outentiek is in hul verhouding, selfs al stem hulle nie saam nie? daardie persoon kan regtig ontsteld wees oor iets, en u die kliënt stem moontlik nie saam nie, maar hul vermoë om die grense te stel en ander toe te laat om outentiek te wees, is so belangrik en hoe hou hulle ander onvoorwaardelik, nie op grond van wat u vir my doen nie, maar ek lief vir jou vir jou so dit is die eerste deel en dat dit neem tyd dit is nie iets wat jy doen in 'n groep of 'n individu sessie en bada Bing dit gedoen um 'n klomp mense wat dit neem hulle sev 'n paar weke om hierdeur te werk en werklik die outentieke, veilige verhouding en verbintenis met hulself te begin begin leer om hulself te leer ken, want baie keer is mense met verlate angs al so lank op die outomatiese piloot, dat hulle net heeltemal ontkoppel is.
Die volgende stap is om te skep wat ek uiterlike veiligheid vir verandering noem, en dit behels verhoudings met ander, en ons gebruik nog steeds die viscerale mnemonika, maar dit is belangrik vir mense wat u op hierdie stadium ken, en die eerste stap was om te kyk hoe hulle verloof was of hoe hulle dit bereik het hierdie behoeftes vir hulleself met hulleself, die volgende stap was om te ondersoek hoe hulle aan hierdie behoeftes vir ander voldoen wat hulle in verhoudings met die derde stap wil hê, is om na die belangrike mense in hul lewe te begin kyk en nou te sê , hoe vervul hierdie persoon hierdie behoeftes vir my in watter maniere is hierdie persoon bekragtiging van die ondersteuning van intimiteit en verbinding veilig in ooreenstemming te moedig reageer op watter maniere doen hulle al Moet ek outentiek wees en op watter maniere weet ek dat hulle my onvoorwaardelik liefhet, en dit kan dit vir baie mense baie uitdagend wees, want veral vir mense met verlate angs is baie van hul verhoudings dikwels ongesond, so dit sal belangrik wees om te ondersoek, weet jy watter aspekte van hierdie verhouding gesond is en watter aspekte nie, en kyk dan op watter manier kan mense gereken word en op wie kan gereken word, en waarvoor nie almal in jou lewe byvoorbeeld nie aanmoedig en ons wil graag hê dat in die perfekte veilige beslaglegging ooit die persoon is altyd iets te moedig, maar dit is nie altyd die manier waarop dit gebeur mense is onvolmaak verhoudings ietwat onvolmaakte so kyk na die verhoudings die persoon wat jy ken vir Byvoorbeeld, wie weet hulle op wie hulle kan vertrou dat hulle bemoedigend is, en wat kan die kliënt doen om ander te help om aan hierdie behoeftes te voldoen, en dit is 'n soort paradigmaskuif Mense verstaan ook nie hoe om 'n veilige verhouding te hê nie, so dit is ook nuut vir hulle, of hulle ken nie die behoeftes van u kliënt nie, daarom is dit belangrik dat die kliënt kan begin om te verduidelik waarvoor hulle moet verduidelik 'n voorbeeld: as u ontsteld is , weet u miskien dat hulle iets soos u kan sê, as ek ontsteld is, ek het u nie nodig om die probleem op te los nie, en ek probeer u nie wegstoot nie, dit is ook nuttig as u dit kan bevestig Ek is ontsteld, jy kan erken dat ek ontsteld is, jy hoef nie met my saam te stem nie, maar om te erken dat jy ontsteld is, is nuttig, intimiteit en verband wat jy ken om met jou belangrike ander te praat en en met die kliënt Wees baie duidelik met hul beduidende ander oor wat hulle nodig het in terme van intimiteit en verbinding en hoe dit lyk om kliënte te help om hul belangrike ander op te voed oor al hierdie konsepte, soos grense en konsekwentheid.
U weet hoe dit lyk, u weet ons het almal gehoor van die di fferente liefdestale hoe lyk dit vir u kliënt om aanmoediging te ontvang, koestering en onvoorwaardelike liefde wat u ken, sal vir verskillende mense anders lyk, so as die kliënt aanvaar dat ander mense weet wat hulle nodig het, neem hulle aan dat ander mense hul gedagtes gaan lees hulle gaan dikwels teleurgesteld wees en voel moontlik verwerp, dit is belangrik om veiligheid te skep waaroor ons gepraat het, u weet dat die verhouding met u selfverhouding met ander is, dit is ook belangrik om te onthou dat hierdie werk oorweldigend kan voel en dat mense soms alles kan verbruik dit is regtig nie wat ons wil hê nie, maar dit is belangrik om bedag te wees op wat aan die gang is, maar dit kan uitputtend wees en kan lei tot ander probleme, en u weet ook wanneer u wil nadink wanneer u probeer om 'n eksamen te kry want vir die skool mis jy baie van die fynere besonderhede as jy jouself ingooi en probeer om dit reg te kry, omdat jy oornag of binne 'n week weet wanneer jy was veronderstel om die hele semester te gebruik, is dit belangrik om mense aan te moedig om grense te stel wat perke stel vir elke dag wat hulle verwerkings- of selfverbeteringsgedrag gaan doen, maar dit is ook nodig om dit elke dag te doen. kan asemhaal asemhaal, want dit kan regtig angswekkende werk wees, en dit word gesê dat dit belangrik is om seker te maak dat mense twee of meer ondersteunings identifiseer wat hulle kan skakel as hulle begin oorweldig word. wie maar ons wil seker maak dat mense veilig as hulle verken voor traumas of as hulle besig is om iets wat scary om hulle voel ons wil seker maak dat hulle 'n vangnet sommige mense beter as hulle doen het nie die werk met ander mense rondom so het hulle nie voel heeltemal geïsoleer sodat hulle dit kan doen wat jy weet in hul kamer, maar wanneer hulle kamermaats is daar en dit is al oor die weer skep veiligheid alles help daardie persoon veilig voel 'n d moedig hulle uiteindelik aan om by 'n verlatingsherstel of soortgelyke ondersteuningsgroep aan te sluit; dit is handig om kontak te maak met ander wat 'n idee het oor hoe dit voel oor wat u moontlik ondergaan, en daar is 'n paar wat aanlyn is, sommige deur verskillende Kerke, daar is 'n paar wat u ken, gaan net aanlyn, doen 'n soektog aanlyn om te sien watter verhoudings- en verlossingsherstelgroepe daar is, so ons het veiligheid geskep, laat ons praat oor 'n paar vaardighede die eerste en in kognitiewe gedragsterapie waaroor ons dikwels praat, is die abcs, maar hier gaan ons praat oor die abc def's van noodregulering noodregulering sal belangrik wees as mense kwessies uit die verlede ondersoek, sowel as vrees vir verlating as hulle in die hede veroorsaak word, wat kan mense doen? staan ​​vir bewustheid om hulle aan te moedig om bedag te wees op hoe hulle voel, dit beteken nie dat u dit wil verander of daarvan ontslae wil raak nie, dit beteken dat u nie-veroordelend aanvaar dat u weet dat ons al praat d daaroor en validering b staan ​​vir asemhaling en dit is gefokusde asemhaling, so asemhaling vir 'n telling van vier tot ses hou vir 'n telling van vier en dan uitasem vir 'n telling van vier tot ses dat stadiger asemhaling sal help om die hartklop te vertraag en As u 'n fiksheidsspoorsnyer of 'n ander toestel het wat u hartklop kan monitor, kan u die bloeddruk nou verlaag, en dan kan u terugvoering daal, wat die goeie ding van bioterugvoer kan versterk As u op die getal op u fiksheidsspoorsnyer gefokus is of wat u ook al gebruik om u hartklop te monitor, lei u eintlik u aandag daarop af en weg van alles wat die angs veroorsaak het, sodat ons bewus kan wees in vroeë intervensie jy agterkom dat jy begin nie okay om te voel en wat jy wil om iets daaraan gefokus asemhaling om af te doen reguleer dat HPA-as om die stresreaksie cued vordering in te verminder Gesonde spierverslapping is iets wat u kan leer om te doen, en dit behels dat u van die kop af begin en heeltemal spanne afwerk en elke spier loslaat, wat die verskil tussen gespanne en ontspanne sien, en basies is dit 'n skandering van die hele liggaam, want die teken kom in, want elke As u u spiere verslap, sê u 'n woord soos asemhaal, of dit is goed, of watter frase of woord u ook al wil sê, in die toekoms is u brein eintlik verbind met die leidraad, dus as u die woord sê, sal u liggaam begin ontspan, dit is regtig nogal gaaf en jy dink hoe dit goed kan werk.
Ek gee jou 'n voorbeeld, dink terug na die skool toe jy vroeër weet, gaan sit in die klas en as die onderwyser sê dat jy jou lessenaar moet skoonmaak, sal jou hartklop styg. of ten minste myne sou en die vreesreaksie sou veroorsaak, sodat die frase duidelik dat u lessenaar was q 'n aanduiding was van u angsreaksie, want u het geweet dat dit waarskynlik beteken dat 'n popvasvra kom, sodat leidrade eintlik baie kragtig kan wees. d staan ​​vir d Ontwikkel nood verdraagsaamheid gedagtes, dit is baie belangrik dat mense met hulself kan praat as hulle angstig of kwaad is, maar dat die emosies nie kan verdwyn nie, net soos om ' n skakelaar om te draai, dit neem 'n rukkie as jy word kwaad of angstig vir die gevoel om aan te gaan, so verdraagsame gedagtes help mense om die vaardighede te ontwikkel om met daardie gevoelens te kan sit en nie daardeur oorweldig voel of nie voel dat die emosies te sterk is nie.
Dit beteken nie dat u kan begin skree nie, of iets oor die algemeen in die joernaal kan baie nuttig wees as mense angstig voel om neer te skryf waaroor hulle angstig is om dit net uit hul kop te kry, of as hulle iemand het wat hulle kan bel of sms om hul gevoelens weer te verwoord, soms net om dit uit te haal en hopelik iemand of jouself te laat bekragtig hoe jy voel, weet jy, ek het opgemerk dat ek regtig angstig voel nou ken jy iemand anders wat sê dat ek hoor dat jy op die oomblik vreesbevange is, wat uiters kragtig kan wees om mense te help om minder buite beheer te wees, sodat uitdrukking van jouself baie nuttig kan wees met noodregulering f staan ​​vir fokus en wat ek bedoel hierdeur beweeg u fokus wanneer ons benoud is as ons fokus op die angs as ons op die gedagtes fokus en ons herhaaldelik die gedagtes herhaal dat angs soos 'n vloedgolf of 'n baie harde stereo sal ontstaan, so een tegniek kan gebruik word, is die knop, stel u voor dat u die knop of die kant van u gebruik, die volumekontrole op u mobiele toestel en die volume daal, sodat u die intensiteit van die geraas van die nood kan sien, ' n ander tegniek gebruik dit saam met mense is ek noem dit rakke en hulle kan óf hul nood op 'n kaart neerskryf en dit in 'n boks sit en dit letterlik op 'n rak neersit, of hulle kan hulself voorstel dat hulle die kwessie neem, wat dit ook al in 'n u is ken die denkbeeldige boks en sit dit op 'n rak met die wete dat hulle later sal terugkom om dit te hanteer, en wat belangrik is, is dat ons oor die algemeen nie baie duidelik dink as ons in die stryd-of-vlug-modus is nie. 'n klomp adrenalien wat net deur ons are vloei, sodat dinge weggesteek word, dit is belangrik om te sê, dit is belangrik, en ek wil my volle aandag daaraan gee as ek nou my volle aandag kan gee, ek moet fokus op die regulering en As ons weer in 'n duideliker kopruimte kom, neem ons u bekommernisse om u te beplan, u weet ons praat hier van verlatenheidsangst, so dit is tyd dat u al die bokse van die dag af uit die rak haal en u dit verwerk en u erken angs en jy kyk na die gedagtes wat bydra tot die angs nog 'n tegniek wat baie baie nuttig is die verandering van unhopeful denkstyle en kognitiewe gedragsterapie dis dikwels hulle dikwels as kognitiewe distorsies wat net is verwys Dit is so lelik dat ons mense wil help om onnodige denkstyle te identifiseer wat hulle gebruik, asook die funksie en alternatiewe, sodat die vier grotes wat ek gereeld sien as ek met mense met verlate angs werk, verpersoonliking van gedagtes is, katastrofaliseer en veral veralgemeen . wat is die funksie van die neem van alles persoonlik iemand frons op jou moet hulle my haat iemand sê gee jou 'n paar konstruktiewe terugvoer en jy dit verpersoonlik en sê dat moet beteken ek is 'n aaklige persoon of ek is nutteloos of 'n mislukking van die funksie van daardie dikwels is self-protective when people personalize that it is a way of keeping them from being caught unawares keeping them from being harmed if you will so alternatives alternate explanations the person who scowled at you you know what are three other reasons that that person may have scowled at you or the person who was rude to you in the grocery store you know maybe they were directly rude to you but is that be cause of you or what are three other explanations you know maybe they their car broke down today they got into a fight with somebody and you know i don't know some a third thing you know there are a lot of things that could put put people in a bad mood and you just unfortunately happen to be in the way separate the person and the behavior instead of telling yourself i am a failure when you get feedback about something you did wrong separating that and say i failed at i am a good person i am successful i am but the behavior you know i didn't do that so well mind reading and jumping to conclusions this is another strategy that helps people predict or think they're predicting the future in order to prepare ahead of time unfortunately we can't predict the future so when we mind read or jump to conclusions a lot of times we're using outdated schema we're using information from old memories that may not be accurate in the present context so it's important to get the facts if somebody is acti ng sc orally and the person doesn't know you know maybe the person's

abandonment

anxiety

is triggered does that mean that they're getting ready to be abandoned well not necessarily that's an assumption they're jumping to conclusions they're reading the other person's mind they're assuming they know what the other person's thinking so it's always important to get the facts what are the facts in this situation which often comes down to asking somebody are you angry with me or did i do something to offend you or you know fill in the blank so getting the facts is really important or maybe their best friend went out with somebody else on the weekend instead of jumping to conclusions and saying well they like this other person more than they like me asking the person you know i noticed that you went out with with sally this weekend and you know and and didn't include me i'm wondering if i did something to offend you or if you like her better than me or whatever the case may be but actually a sking the person why did you do that it is a fair question catastrophizing again protective yeah get get the trend here all of these are in some way trying to protect the person from being caught off guard and being abandoned so if they're in a relationship with somebody and they have a fight or a disagreement catastrophizing would say okay this person's going to leave me and i am going to be alone forever and always well that spiraled quickly encouraging them again to examine the facts you know yes you had a disagreement yes the person asked for some space what else what other facts do you have that let you know that they're going to leave you and that you're going to be alone forever c stands for control what aspects of this situation do you have control over you know if the person asked for some space well okay you don't have control over that except for to give them their space you can't get them back sooner what do you have control over you have control over how you react in the p resent moment you have control over what you do with your time and your energy you have control over the way you respond to them whether you respect their boundaries or not and p stands for probability given the facts in the situation and if you do the things that are within your control that are helpful what is the probability that the worst case scenario is going to play out and over generalizations when something bad happens it sticks out in our memory and we try to keep ourselves safe by remembering that unfortunately sometimes it becomes over generalized to statements like all people always leave the function again is to help us predict the future so we can try to protect ourselves how do we respond to over generalizations specifics and if somebody says all people always leave let's find some exceptions to that and yes some people have left some people have willfully left some people have died some people have you know whatever what are the specifics in each situation and are ther e exceptions in your life and are there exceptions in other people's life if you're saying that all people always leave then that would indicate that there is no stability in anybody's relationships anywhere and the abcs activating event what happened so you're the person is just be bopping through the day and something triggers their

abandonment

anxiety

so encouraging them to jot down the abcs what happened that triggered their abandonment anxiety maybe they texted their best friend and their best friend didn't respond that can be terrifying okay so that happened the consequence happened really fast their anxiety was triggered which resulted in what behaviors did they engage in what were their feelings what were their thoughts okay so activating event resulted in abandonment anxiety being triggered going back and examining what were the automatic beliefs what were the thoughts that started racing through your head that led to you feeling anxious so it's really important to encourage p eople to at the very least when they experience abandonment anxiety when it gets triggered to write down the activating event so they can go back later and process okay i know what happened and i know what the consequences were now let's figure out you know non-judgmentally going back to that intimacy and connection let me figure out what was going on in my head what were my thoughts that were telling me that this was a bad thing then you go back and dispute the beliefs some of them are going to be right sometimes you know i'm not saying that they're wrong but you want to examine them what were the facts in context if you had the belief that that meant that that person hated you okay what are the facts in context what are the controllable aspects of the situation um and what is the probability that the person um or the abandoned activating event was going to lead to abandonment so activating event you got into a disagreement with your best friend consequences you had your abandonment a nxiety triggered and started spiraling now what is the probability that having a disagreement with your friend was going to lead to abandonment especially if you address the controllable aspects for example apologizing if that was appropriate and this is where a lot of the relationship skills come in very handy learning how to validate people's emotions even if you don't agree learning how to listen and empathize we're going to talk about those in a little while but some of those are the controllable aspects of the situation and then e stands for evaluating your reaction um recognizing once the person has gone through and disputed their beliefs and decided which ones were accurate restated some of their beliefs to be more accurate and less extreme okay now they have factual information so was there reaction that abandonment anxiety was that an effective response to the situation if not what could have been a more helpful response now the people have created safety and have a couple of tools in order to deal with the stress and start evaluating and altering their automatic beliefs and and schema it's time to start gathering information have them name the problem and describe the symptoms so the problem is abandonment anxiety but what are their symptoms physically how do they feel when their abandonment anxiety is triggered physically how does this abandonment anxiety impact their their health and well-being affectively how does their abandonment anxiety impact their emotions a lot of times people have complex emotions so they have abandonment anxiety and they may have some anger they may have some depression and a sense of hopelessness so we want to look at what how does the abandonment anxiety contribute to the person's overall mood

cognitive

ly how does the abandonment anxiety alter or inform the way the person perceives the world and interprets the world and solves problems environmentally how does the abandonment anxiety contribute to or detract from their sense o f safety and the big one relationally how does the abandonment anxiety impact their relationships in what ways is it affecting their relationships with their co-workers with their friends with their children with their family you know the list goes on then have them describe the course of the problem when did it start for some people they can't even remember when it started because they were so young that's fine um for others it started later that's cool too we just want to have an idea when did it start what may have triggered it and for people whose abandonment anxiety started when they were very very young they may not really understand what happened some people will say i was adopted or i was put into foster care or my one of my parents walked out on us or something okay you know that's a that's a clear precipitating event but others for other people it may be more ambiguous and we'll explore that a bit later but we want to know if they have any ideas about what triggered it what b eliefs do they currently hold that contribute to the problem so when they start thinking about relationships when they start thinking about abandonment what are the thoughts that come into their head and sometimes i'll have them spend two to three minutes just thinking about being in a relationship or thinking about abandonment and jotting down everything that they think sort of free association if you will to get an idea about all of those automatic thoughts for people who don't like to write they can also just record it and then you can run it through a transcription program so we have talk to text and then you can see what's going on and then examining each of those beliefs for their accuracy and helpfulness in the current context now all of our experiences impact the way we perceive the world the way we perceive others the way we perceive even nonverbal communications and the way a person perceives the world is theirs but is it helpful in the current context so re-examining does fo r example people who grew up in an environment where there was a lot of domestic violence large nonverbal movements may be very threatening may trigger anxiety for them however in the present context with this person what do those large movements mean for me when i get excited the more excited i get the bigger my my hand gestures get and a lot of times that's happy excitement so it's important to help people explore their beliefs in the current context so instead of saying every time somebody uses big hand gestures it means danger saying in the past when people have used big hand gestures it meant danger so i need to be aware however it's important to evaluate every situation in the present context encouraging people to explore their core beliefs what messages did they receive from their caregivers both through words and behaviors about their lovability so thinking back to when they were an adolescent a child an infant as far back as they can remember behavior is communication so if a caregiver was not responsive ignored the child only responded when there was something to be critical about you know that sends a totally different message than the caregiver who is responsive and loving and gives them positive attention so what messages did they receive about themselves and about others through their caregivers behaviors as well as their words so we want to look at their their core beliefs about their own lovability are they lovable are they good enough what information what messages what beliefs did they form about relationships you know they observed their caregivers interacting so what messages what did they learn about relationships from watching and listening to their caregivers and what did they learn from their caregivers about the safety and trustworthiness of other people what beliefs have they developed as a result of abandonment or loss as an adult so first you're going to look at childhood and some people as i mentioned earlier with abandonment anxiety had an okay childhood so the first part of this they may have gotten positive messages about their lovability and relationships and trustworthiness of others and then in their adult life they've just had a series of devastating losses or like i mentioned earlier they could have had an insecure attachment all the way through childhood and it just perpetuated into adulthood either way what beliefs has the person developed as a result of abandonment or loss as an adult and i put loss in there because remember when people die it can be it feels sometimes like abandonment it is a significant loss and when we think about do i want to become vulnerable to somebody again just to risk having them disappear you know death as a loss also comes up in addition to willful abandonment what thoughts do they have when people abandon or reject them or seem like they are getting ready to reject or abandon abandon them and a lot of people with abandonment anxiety engage in that jumping to conclusions and min d reading so they notice micro expressions they notice slight changes um and they assume that they that they know what the person is thinking and that it's nefarious which can lead them to start having these abandonment thoughts really early on as i mentioned behaviors communication and children who had adverse childhood experiences received messages early abandonment experiences can communicate to the child you don't matter you're not loved or you're not safe you know a two-year-old who gets abandoned can't take care of themselves that's terrifying um insecure primary attachments so maybe the caregivers were there but we're not responsive we're not validating we're not encouraging we're not loving and that often results in either neglect or abuse when the caregivers are emotionally unavailable to the child or physically unavailable to the child or abusive to the child it communicates work beliefs like you're not worthy of care or you're a bad person yes children make mistakes yes chil dren get punished they get put in time out whatever but that doesn't mean they're a bad child it means they made a bad choice and then adult experiences and related schema um we want to encourage people to examine their beliefs related to abandonment or loss and their beliefs related to their ability or inability to form or maintain healthy relationships if they've had prior traumas they may have developed insecure attachment which results in behaviors that are characterized as either codependent or personality disordered i don't like to put labels on things i'd like to look at what behaviors does the person exhibit and how do those either help or hurt them in terms of maintaining healthy relationships encouraging people to go through each one of these things and identify how these experiences shape their belief about their own acceptability and other people's trustworthiness and examine each one of the beliefs one by one using that facts control and probability method so what are the facts about your early abandonment experience you know what parts of that were within your control and especially for children a lot of it wasn't in their control it was had more to do with the adult being unable to cope or deal and probability you know what is the probability that that situation given what you know about what you had what you could control in it what is the probability that it means that you are not lovable or whatever the belief is other core beliefs and i know we're going through a lot of core beliefs but sometimes it helps to approach it from slightly different angles because different things come out so again you're going to examine these core beliefs in each of these four areas using that facts control and probability method when people fear losing someone that's important to them they may fear rejection you know the reason i'm afraid of losing something important to me is because i fear rejection i fear that if they go away it means i'm unlovable or nobody wants to be with me so encouraging people to explore their abandonment beliefs and identify rejection themes i may fear losing somebody that's important to me because i'm afraid of losing control i'm afraid of vulnerability so i may have thoughts like i should never get into relationships because people can't be trusted or i have no control over whether they stay or leave and and it's too scary to be vulnerable isolation i will never find someone else and people always leave or the unknown i do not know where i can find someone else i can't function without this person in my life or i don't know who i am if i'm not such and such as best friend or such and such as spouse or such and such as parent so there are a lot of beliefs that go along with abandonment anxiety and many of them maybe not all but many of them can be categorized in terms of one of these four themes or maybe the the belief taps on multiple of these core themes so examining the individual's beliefs identifying the facts and separating the past from the present so in the past when they interacted with people when they were five what did they have control over in the present when they interact with people now that they're 25 what do they have control over there's a big difference between safety and all those things once a person becomes an independent adult explore with the person what behaviors that they have that contribute to abandonment and this is a really touchy area to go into with a lot of people because it's scary to think that they may be contributing to it unfortunately we recognize when working with people who have abandonment issues a lot of times their frantic efforts to avoid abandonment actually end up contributing to the abandonment so looking at people's behaviors when they can step back and objectively look at their past relationships and say yeah some of these things i did probably weren't helpful okay you know in the moment it was a survival mechanism in retrospect we see that may not h ave been the best choice so how do those behaviors develop to help the person stay safe this is where we want to validate and look at the context in that context at that point in time i believe that people do the best they can with the tools they have so that behavior developed how did it develop to help them stay safe how are those behaviors currently negatively impacting their relationships so if one of their behaviors is to start becoming extremely clingy or the opposite to walk out to just break up it's like okay fine started to hit a little rough patch we're done in what ways are those behaviors currently negatively impacting their relationships and what could they do instead that would help them feel safe and secure it keeps coming back to safety remember the core of abandonment the core of trauma is a feeling of unsafeness and disempowerment so we want to help people continue to explore what can i do to stay safe and by creating that secure attachment with themselves and eventua lly working on their self-esteem they start developing a sense of wholeness where they don't feel like they are inadequate or or they don't feel like they're incapable of dealing with life on their own you know so we want to help people feel empowered and and safe in their own skin even if other people aren't necessarily around them and then starting to feel safe and empowered in relationships to engage to be vulnerable and sometimes to step away if it's not a healthy relationship if they woke up tomorrow and didn't fear abandonment and rejection how would life be different and how would it be the same most people have some things that are going right in their life maybe it's their work maybe it's their dog maybe it's their house but identifying the things that are going right is just as important as identifying what they would like to be different and creating that holistic view of what life will be like when they've addressed this issue what strengths and resources do they have that can help address their fears of abandonment and rejection maybe they have people they can call on like a pastor or a counselor maybe they have a strong faith maybe they have books that they are reading that are helping them understand whatever it is let's explore these have them write a narrative of two or more relationships that have resulted in abandonment start out you know writing the narrative then going back and evaluating were things ever good if so in what way you know a lot of relationships start out good so how were they good at what point did things change and why you know really looking back and saying you know what was going on here that all of a sudden led to this pivot what did the other person do what did that behavior communicate about the other person's feelings and needs maybe the other person started withdrawing what did that communicate about that person's feelings and needs at that point in time maybe they weren't being effective at communicating but if we look at their behavior and think back to the conversations what were they trying to communicate what did the client what did the person do in the relationship and what did that behavior communicate about that person's feelings and needs what if anything and that's important if anything could the client could the person have done differently in the relationship that may have led to a different outcome you know maybe they decided um as soon as the the relationship started to hit a bumpy patch to terminate it just fine no too much stress i'm out okay well obviously that led to the end of the relationship is there a different way that you could have handled it that may have resulted in getting through that patch what are the three more most important reasons the person wants to address their fears of abandonment and rejection this helps with motivation what obstacles might interfere with their ability to progress in their journey for example if they're in currently unhealthy relationships that's probably going to be unhelpful because those relationships may underscore or fulfill their beliefs about abandonment and lack of trustworthiness and low self-esteem it can also be an obstacle that interferes with their ability to progress because they may not feel like they deserve any better they may not feel like they're lovable or they may rely on other people to provide them external validation in order to give them permission to be okay who is supportive of their efforts to address their abandonment issues and if they say no one then where could they find support so this is again important we need to start encouraging some sort of support for the individual whether it's support groups or professionals or or whomever once we've gathered some information we've started disputing thoughts we've started trying to modify unhelpful beliefs then moving into baseline monitoring over the next few weeks each time they notice they're experiencing anxiety about abandonment have them write down what's happening that activating event what their thoughts are the beliefs that they're having what images are going through their mind and sometimes people think in images or flashbacks instead of words so images can be very helpful what are their feelings all of them not just anxiety but anxiety anger guilt depression what have you and in what ways is the current situation similar to past situations so basically it's encouraging people to identify what past memories are being triggered what past feelings and experiences are being triggered in the present moment and then exploring that and saying okay in what ways is this present moment similar to and different from that past situation at the end of each day and then again at the end of each week review the logs to find common triggers and core beliefs that are still problematic continue to use the facts control and probability approach to address and start to modify those or at least challenge those unhelpful core beliefs and then h elp the person start to become empowered on a scale of 1 to 10 one being totally terrified of abandonment most of the time and 10 being totally secure in their ability to maintain healthy relationships that's not totally secure that nobody's ever going to leave that's not realistic it's totally secure in their ability to maintain healthy relationships and let go of unhealthy relationships so on a scale of one to ten where are they now what one to three things will they do each day not can they do but will they do each day to help them move toward the next point on the scale they can identify things like practicing mindfulness to identify needs wants triggers and core beliefs developing a secure relationship with themselves that visceral mnemonic that we talked about

cognitive

restructuring to address unhelpful thoughts self-esteem building activities improving boundaries and assertiveness skills what i call empathy and attribution that means listening to other people learning how to li sten without defensiveness to understand the feelings and needs of the other person and themselves in the current moment and then attributing those feelings and needs appropriately so they're communicating with somebody who is angry recognizing for example where that anger is coming from maybe they did something you know they're in a relationship with somebody their roommates and they left the cap off the toothpaste and the roommate just like flies off the handle okay empathy i see see that you're angry about this and you're frustrated that i left the cap off the toothpaste again but attribution encourages the person to look back and say all right i did something that irritated this person but it really was probably on only a one or a two on a scale of one to ten so i wonder what else is going on in their life that is making them so angry right now the anger is not all about me and proactively begin to connect with others in a safe and meaningful way and this is called graded exposure so initially they may engage with others on like a discord server or online chat room or a support group or an online support group and then gradually put themselves out there a little bit more where they're meeting people face to face and you know maybe it's meeting with a hiking club to go face that to go hiking you know there's not a lot of self-disclosure during that but that's being in in a group and for people who fear rejection for people who fear abandonment then just starting to develop a group of people that they can do things with is a huge step towards starting to create meaningful connected relationships most people have a certain amount of anxiety in relationships because when you're in relationships you're vulnerable and that person is important to you abandonment anxiety is an issue when it negatively impacts multiple areas of a person's life when it starts impacting their health their sleep their mood their work their concentration etc addressing abandonment anxiety me ans first creating safety then identifying and addressing the thoughts feelings and situations that trigger the anxiety and becoming empowered by implementing new skills and modifying outdated and inaccurate beliefs

Source : Doc Snipes