How to practice emotional first aid Guy Winch

Our mind is difficult to change once we are convinced, so it can be very natural to feel demoralized and defeated after failing, but you can't allow yourself to convince yourself that you can't succeed. You have to fight the feelings of helplessness. You have to control them. the situation and you have to break this type of negative cycle before it starts our minds and our feelings are not the trustworthy friends we thought they were they are more like a very moody friend who can give you all his support in a minute and be really unpleasant Al Next, I once worked with this woman who after 20 years of marriage and an extremely ugly divorce was finally ready for her

first

date.

She had met this guy online and he seemed nice and successful and most importantly, he seemed really interested in her, so she was very excited, bought a new dress and they met at an exclusive bar in New York City to having a drink ten minutes into the date, the man gets up and says, I'm not interested and leaves. Rejection is extremely painful. The woman was so hurt that she couldn't move all she could do was call a friend and this is what the friend said well what are you waiting for? You have big hips. You don't have anything interesting to say.

Why would a handsome, successful man like that date a loser like you? It's true that a friend can be so cruel, but it would be much less shocking if she told you that it wasn't the friend who said that, but rather what the woman said to herself and that's something we all do, especially after a rejection that we all start to think about. all our flaws and all our flaws what we wish we were what we wish we weren't we insult each other maybe not so harshly but we all do it it's interesting that we do it because our self-esteem is already hurt why would we want to do it? go and damage him even more, rightly so, we wouldn't make a physical injury worse on purpose, you wouldn't put your arm on your arm and decide, oh I know I'm going to take a knife and see how much deeper I can go, but that's all we do time with psychological injuries why due to poor

emotional

hygiene because we do not prioritize our psychological health we know from dozens of studies that when your self-esteem is lower you are more vulnerable to stress and anxiety than to failures and rejections hurt more and take longer recover from them, so when they reject you, the

first

thing you should do is revive your self-esteem, not join fight club and beat it to a pulp.

When you feel

emotional

pain, treat yourself with the same compassion. As would be expected of a truly good friend, we have to detect our sick people.