Mair Elliott

Just a little background on my name, I'm Meer, if you can speak Welsh, if not forget it. Good afternoon. I hope you're all enjoying the day and finding my fellow speakers' presentations as fascinating as I did, truth be told, when I was. I was asked to speak here today I felt a little intimidated to speak about some very smart people um because I don't have a PhD in braggadocio um I don't even have a degree yet I don't represent any organization here in front of you today and I'm not in charge of any service. What I do have is a diagnosis of autism and I have diagnoses of depression, anxiety, anorexia nervosa and psychosis, so we could argue that perhaps I am the most qualified to speak here today.

I started feeling different when I was about six years old. I realized that my classmates were in a different world than me, that I was in a different world than them, and that my classmates could communicate in a way that I simply couldn't understand. This left me with this uncomfortable feeling of exposure and even at 6 years old I knew that being different made me vulnerable, so I decided that I would learn to be normal, whatever that is, and I guess in true autism form I decided that I wouldn't either. would do. include other human beings in how I felt or the decisions I made.

I learned from what I learned from watching children. I watched their hand gestures, their body language, the words they use, the tone of voice, etc., and then I copied and then as I grew up and became older. I became more able to be intelligent in the way I did this and could notice patterns. I could test hypotheses and I could build diagrams and flowcharts in my head to help me navigate socialization and it worked very, very well. No one really noticed that I was different. I did well in school. I had a good group of friends and although that was what I was looking for at the time, it had some side effects.

I grew up thinking I was different. a failure I grew up thinking that the real me was a shame and something that should be hidden. I was 14 when the cracks started to appear. I started to feel quite depressed and became unusually anxious about certain things, but I really just brushed it off. I stopped saying I was just a teenager, hm, and ignored what was happening hoping it would go away, but when I entered year 10, the start of GCS, things went downhill pretty quickly, it got to the point where I was in the depths of depression, I felt like I was sinking under an ocean, desperately trying to breathe and the weight of the water pushing me down, the anxiety I had never ended and I was constantly in a state of Red Alert.

Having anxiety is a little like when you're home alone and you hear a noise coming from the other side of the house, your thoughts start to race, your heart starts to beat and this lump of fear and dread weighs down your ribcage and freezes your pathways. respiratory for someone with anxiety, that feeling never stops my appetite. decreased and my ability to complete even simple tasks faded. I couldn't sleep because my brain just wouldn't turn off. The only relief I found was self-harm. Self-harm acted as a conversion between emotional pain and manageable physical pain and all of this.

Added to the complete confusion and disorientation I had about how I was feeling and what was going on in my head, I was very lucky and the school noticed very quickly that I needed specialized help and referred me to a primary mental health nurse, I think I saw I consulted to the primary mental health nurse twice before she freaked out and then referred me again for more specialist help. I started seeing a specialist, a psychiatrist and specialized chambers every two weeks. I was very lucky that they didn't put me on a waitlist and to this day I'm not sure why or how I managed to avoid the waitlist.

I wish I could share that secret with you. um, but I can't. To begin with, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but my psychiatrist noted that it was something underlying. something that could have been causing these problems and he did an autism evaluation. I was very lucky to be able to skip the queue for autism screening too because in my local area the waiting list for autism screening is 7 years long, yes I know. Do not get me started. I was diagnosed with autism when I was 15 years old. A diagnosis explained why I felt so different.

It helped me realize that I wasn't a failure. It helped explain why I found In This World so overwhelming, getting a diagnosis was the first step in my journey toward self-awareness, but by then mental illness had taken over my life. I was prescribed a variety of different medications, none of which had the desired effect and some of which I had an adverse effect. I took a CBT course which, although it helped a little, was not as impactful as required. For a year I continued with The Descent. It got to the point where I was having panic attacks daily and at school and meltdowns completely out of control.

In the middle of the school hallways, I spent most afternoons sitting in a KN CU. I had despised myself or was very suicidal. I started having hallucinations. I heard voices shouting derogatory comments at me and saw people who I truly believed were going to make me. killing myself or my family had no control and I was moving away from reality it was decided that the community chambers could no longer support me and I was hospitalized actually I was in an iatric unit across the river from here at the Royal msle Hospital which in reality is About 5 hours from my house I spent 3 and a half months there before being transferred to a unit a little closer to home where I spent 3 weeks.

The community chambers did not react in the best way to my discharge and I did not see any Professionals for about 6 to 8 weeks after I was discharged from hospital. I relapsed over the next 6-8 months and became engulfed in the cold, bitter world of anorexia neosa. I was almost ready to go back into the hospital when one day I had a moment of epiphany when I collapsed on my bathroom floor. I realized that I didn't want to live a life hopping from hospital to hospital. I didn't need to give in to these illnesses that made my life hell.

I didn't need to do it. Feeling pain from that point on I pushed and fought for the things I knew would help me, like dialectical behavioral therapy, family therapy, and no medication. I worked hard to free myself from the diseases that ruled my life and two years later I can stand in front of you here to tell my story tell my story we are probably all aware of the disadvantages associated with chambers long waiting times lack of access to adequate treatments excessive use of medications lack of family involvement lack of local facilities for impatient staff turnover lack of communication between different services, poor resources and funding, etc.

I have experienced almost all of these things and felt the impact these issues can have on someone who is already suffering from effects such as mistrust and the inability to build therapeutic relationships with professionals who cannot feel safe. or being comfortable in the environment, disjointed support and having to repeat my story over and over, having to travel hundreds of miles to receive proper care, treating my family as a problem instead of being part of a solution, living with A disability is a difficult life. with a mental illness it's hard to get help it should be easy I want to mention at least one positive point about the cameras and that is how hard the staff work despite not having the resources to do everything they are asked to do, it's easy to blame individuals when nothing seems to be going right, but I know how difficult the community chambers and hospital chambers have been over the years to try to keep me safe and give me the right kind of help, the truth is that some things in this world They're going to be harder for me.

I'll probably always walk a tightrope over the abyss of mental illness. I need extra help with some things compared to other people. My autism and my brain are not compatible with a neurotypical world. To deny all this would be foolish and I would be setting myself up for disappointment, but give me the right conditions, teach me the right things, help me build the right environment and give me the right kind of help and watch me thrive. I am 19 years old and have so far contributed to Welsh Government research into child and adolescent mental health services, resulting in an additional £6.7.6 million being allocated to the service each year.

I have made two AED current affairs programs on National Television in Wales, one of which won an award. award and was shortlisted is shortlisted for the Celtic Film Festival I have spoken at conference seminars and events of all shapes and sizes and have spoken about young people's mental health in the Welsh press on many occasions. I have co-written a report on the well-being of children and young people in Wales and it has been widely supported, including by the Welsh Government. I am a trusted member of a Welsh charity that supports over a thousand people with serious mental illness in their families.

I am a research advocate in Cardiff. The University's National Center for Mental Health and I have been commissioned to carry out research projects in my local county looking at the experience of people with autism in secondary education. I recently visited my old school, where I went through a lot of dark times over the past few years, seeing that place again walking the same hallways talking to people made me realize how far I've come. I could be modest and say it's nothing, that anyone could have done what I did, but in reality I have worked hard to be where I am today I kept taking steps forward when all I wanted to do was give up I fought for myself and I fought for all other young people in Wales in similar situations I opened up to thousands of people about my diagnosis and faced stigma, misconceptions, stereotypes and ignorance.

I faced things most of my peers couldn't even imagine, but I've accomplished more before the age of 20 than some people do in their entire life. I am not ashamed of having autism. I am not ashamed of having had mental health problems. My autism makes me a passionate, hard-working, motivated person. It means I have high standards and will complete anything AR asks of me to the highest standard possible. It makes me organized, honest and authentic. Having gone through mental health problems has taught me. appreciate the little things like eating a bowl of cereal in the morning the sound of the wind in the trees and the ability to smile and be happy I no longer see my differences differences as a failure on my part I see them as a blessing don't lose your hope when you feel like life is throwing too many obstacles in your face.

Don't lose hope for your sons, daughters, brothers, friends, parents, clients, when the right conditions are finally found, it will all be worth it, thank you.