Towel Guys - SNL

AND THEY LOOKED, MAN. LOOK, LOOK, AND THEN SOMEHOW THEY FIND NEMO. NO, MAN. That's crazy, man. IT'S A BIG OCEAN AND LIKE A LITTLE LITTLE OCEAN. I KNOW, MAN. THEY WERE LUCKY, MAN. WHAT CAN I SAY, HE'S LUCKY. Hey. CAN I GET A TOWEL? YES, OF COURSE. Hey, are you American? I AM, YES. ELLEN DEMENEMES? WHAT? YOU KNOW, THE TV LADY, ELLEN DEMENEMES. SHE ALWAYS COMES OUT DANCING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? LIKE ELLEN DEMENEMES. KNOW? GOOD. DON'T YOU KNOW ELLEN DEMENEMES? SHE IS MARRIED TO THE CAR. THE PORSCHE. THAT GIRL IS FUN, MAN. YES, ELLEN DeGENERES.

CAN I HAVE MY TOWEL? THAT TOOK TOO LONG. YOU KNOW, LAST NIGHT I SAW THIS MOVIE, "MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE", BUT THE MISSION IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE HE'S GOING TO DO IT. THEY SHOULD CALL IT A MISSION: YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING TO DO IT. WHAT'S UP FRIENDS, CAN I GET A TOWEL PLEASE? MY FRIEND IN DUALINGO. ARE YOU AMERICAN? YES. GIVE ME A CANNOLI OR I'LL DROWN YOU. THAT'S EASY FOR HIM BECAUSE HE'S STRONG. HEY MAN. Here's your

towel

, man. THANK YOU. TOTAL DELL BATHROOM. WELCOME TO THE BATHROOM, MAN. WHAT'S HAPPENING? DID YOU SEE ELLEN DEMENEMES? ELLEN DEMENEMES. NO, SHE IS NOT HERE.

I JUST WANTED TO SEE WITH MY TWO FAVORITE TOWEL BOYS. QUESTION FOR YOU, MAN. IS IT TRUE THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO REPLACE US WITH A MACHINE? NO. I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, NO. COULD YOU PLEASE? YES, MAN, BECAUSE THEN WE CAN DO DIFFERENT JOBS IN THE HOTEL. I WANT TO FOLD THE TOILET PAPER INTO A SMALL TRIANGLE SO THAT THE FIRST PASS IS CRAZY. YES. AND I WANT TO BE THE JANITOR. I GET A MAP, I MARK THINGS ON THE MAP AND THEN I SAY, YOU CAN GO THERE. AS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE ONCE SAID, THE VERY SUBSTANCE OF A DREAM -- EXCUSE ME.

SORRY. I DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH DO YOU WANT TO KNOW A SECRET? I DO SPEAK ENGLISH. MAMACITAS, 2:00. CAN WE GET A TOWEL? YES, OF COURSE. IT'S ONE FOR THE OLD LITTLE MERMAID AND ONE FOR THE NEW LITTLE MERMAID. ♪ A WHOLE NEW GIRL ♪ SO FUNNY, GUYS. THAT SONG IS FROM ALADDIN. I WANT TO CLIMB A LADDER. I AM HAVING THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE HERE IN PUNTA CANA. THAT'S NICE. I LOVE THE WAY THEY PLAY WITH THE BANANA. I DIDN'T THINK I WAS GOING TO LIKE IT, BUT NOW I'M THINKING BANANA FOR DINNER, OKAY? YOU KNOW WHO YOU SOUND LIKE, FORRY GUM.

THE GUY WHO CAN'T FIND YENNY. HIS BRAIN from him DOESN'T REACH HIS LEGS from him, SO HE CAN RUN FOREVER. I WANT TO THANK MY COMPANIONS FOR ALL THEIR HELP TODAY. CAN I GIVE YOU SOMETHING FOR YOUR PROBLEM? WE ACCEPT TIPS, POPPY. I'LL GIVE YOU BETTER THAN ONE ADVICE. HOW ABOUT A PRAYER? LORD, PLEASE PROTECT THESE WONDERFUL DOMINICAN KNIGHTS FROM THE HARSH SUN. I WANTED MONEY, POPPY. MONEY WOULD BE BETTER, MAN. LORD, PROTECT THEM FROM ALL EVIL IN THE NAME OF JESUS, AMEN. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU KNOW, JESUS ​​IS GOOD. BUT MONEY IS BETTER. DO YOU KNOW WHO HAS A LOT OF MONEY?

ELLEN DEMENEMES. ELLEN DEMENEMES. ♪ ELLEN DEMENEMES ♪