Joe Rogan Experience #1409 - Joey Diaz

let the lease be reduced, take it, Joey. I want to see you riding around in the Cadillac. I would love for her to have a lesbian car and it hurts my feelings. Why are you driving a lesbian? lesbian car Subaru you love a reliable car I respect that about you I want to get in the car and start I don't want to be in service I don't think these things are unreliable you know I have free service you know that the guarantees they give you now or you knowVolkswagen, that no one buy, look at that, what is that, it's a Cadillac cts-v, look at that car, the coupe is not a four-door, it's hard to tell because the picture is so dark, it's a four-door, it's... yeah, in reality. that little rear window isn't like a full window wow that's a beautiful car man they make a killer car do you know what a killer car is right now?

If you want an SUV, a Lincoln Navigator, the new one is crazy. I wonder what happened at Lincoln, they are still in business, they only make the Navigator and then one or two more luxury coupes, Lincoln, which are very nice, beautiful, then they went away like okay, there are 10 million of those great drivers from Palermo and they stopped production of it, so I didn't do it. I don't know what was going on with Lincoln Garden. I know they just backed out. Do you know what those years of 1965 are with the suicide doors? Come on son. You know I was never so bold.

I couldn't buy one of those cars you have rolling around. in one of those 1965 Lincoln Continentals with suicide doors like holy Riaan I want to drive Dijon continental look what Jamie was driving you used to get out, open the side door what was the name of the black beauty Chrysler Imperial crown a beautiful one for Wow let me see a photo of that 1966 Chrysler look at that thing we're looking at photo one ladies and gentlemen it looks like it has machine guns sticking out of the hood well those missiles that was the black beauty tell God it's funny but I like it it was always like that like a car, you had a car what did that one do now that's a restomod Green Hornet now the new one that was the new one with Seth Rogen right, yeah, I didn't see that one, no, the one we dropped, look those people don't understand that we're too young for that, but people He doesn't understand the impact Bruce Lee had when he was doing the Green Hornet when people saw him do martial arts moves like he did on screen. people wanted to, I mean, you have to think about how many people would watch a TV show back then, like if you had a TV show, there's only three different things to watch, like if you had a TV show, the whole country was watching one of three things and if you had a great show if The Green Hornet was the Green Hornet and on Sunday nights it was also like robbing yeah, everyone at home that you had, or you had Lawrence Welk on ABC channel 7, Look, he's p8, you didn't have him.

Look, it looks like I fell and he just traumatized NBC. NBC was traumatized only in episode 6. Look how bad his fight scenes are. Look at these white guys faking punches, oh my god it's funny watching bad old school TV like a fight acting good. you know the punch didn't hit them in the hair and it goes flying, it's very strange, especially because we're not playing any volume so we're just watching it, so when you watch without volume you can really see how It's absurd how many TV shows that That guy, you know, that Spaniard did about a thousand episodes of different TV shows from the late '60s to the '70s, who didn't?

I don't know what the guy who was starring in is. Right there, that guy, you know, character actors were so big back then, but then Bruce Lee came on Sunday nights. I still remember returning from Miami with my family. I like being mad because I miss Bruce Lee and then they canceled it. I never watched anything about Bruce Lee again, bro, how long was it between that and the big movies? It was about a year and a half for movies that were mainstream. Five Fingers, a kill came out, no, yeah, Five Fingers, in that, it was all about Iron Palm Technique, the guy was looking at you and this pawn was turning pink and that started with that and then Fist of Fury came out, eh, but I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I went to see Fist of Fury at the cinema.

I don't remember when the Chinese connection came out, that's what changed the ball game, but today it pisses me off, you know, when I see people in their twenties talking about the impact of Bruce Lee or whatever. First, let's clarify who Bruce Lee was. a tough guy but he wasn't going to beat Muhammad Ali he was so dumb he wasn't going to be Bob Marley was whatever Bruce Lee was Bruce Lee meant that the little guy had hope Bruce Lee gave hope to the immigrant you know, that's what What do all these guys do, we all changed, they all put a little bounce in their step, he chose the martial arts, he changed the martial arts, but he gave them hope, the movie theaters were full, the martial arts schools were full, the black people were They were going crazy because no one stinked it anymore, you see dolemite. no I don't know again you know you have to watch this shit if I'm going to appear on the show when Dolomites you see him when he's nobody you mean the new way of walking first on me our boy stole the show our boy the guys where they went to MMA Oh whistles oh the movie is good bad bad bad oh you know I'm sick and tired because people don't walk what happened to him nothing happened to him good good good Joe what happened to Dave Attell David Tao becomes more loud every weekend what you're watching is some idiot jumping up and down on Netflix David Tao is getting louder and louder when you go see Dave Attell it's like people are going crazy right now for the uncut gems Adam Sandler has been around for 30 years, I have something for your ass, it may not be silly to jump up and down and get wet here, but when he saw his own country hurt, it's great, just go to encourage him to leave.

You don't want to, thank God, because people think that. we're like mooks it's commerce I hate you for failure in 90 different directions you could just say goodbye we could do it all and when we've got 30 years under our belt we'll be weapons like Jimmy Smits like any of these people who've been doing it for over 30 years , eventually you'll get good at it, you know, then you know. I haven't seen Tarantino's movie yet. I saw the Joker movies. Tarantino. Incredible. Saw. I will not be left with a lack of respect towards Bruce Lee. Saw. the joke I just don't even want to go there without anyone I won't go if he didn't survive I don't want to hear his opinion on it no it doesn't make sense it was disrespectful Shannon, so it means you disrespected me, you on you, you disrespected me to my power, now you know, I don't even know Shannon Lee, yeah, the group of these people got excited.

I saw the Joker. I liked it, although the Joker was intense. I liked the joke. that was intense I saw Uncle James during recess I went to Christmas night my girls went to sleep so I was little with little Emily I ate three groceries and my heart was beating with it because those movies Joey Diaz 83 to 84 whatever you want let's do what do you want to do with you Joe Rogan listen I have I have someone coming next week let me get 20 G until next week there won't be next week Jamie don't say anything orokin I need tend to put this number and just think that your life From there you borrow from Peter to pay Paul and then you tell Zeus to suck your cock, it's not to stop people as long as you don't get high and go see him.

I'm getting deeper, don't you see, I'd set it up like a table, huh, who's there? I'm just saying with a lot of whatever, it's just a movie of all the basketball players that you don't know how good. Kevin Garnett is fine and he's non-stop, so he's mostly Sandler and he runs into Oh, what happened to my dirty? Wow, I'll see you next week. I have to go, yes, you know it's constant, you know that life and then it's traumatic is an Academy. Award winner I don't know, you know, I took it home, I was in the room for a couple of days, okay, there's already something about the Academy Award winner.

I saw the Irishman, you won't see him either, so you'll be skiing for three hours, what is it? you do these flights you look here then which way he goes to sleep then you go to sleep you get that's when I watch these three hour movies I can't watch them at home I have a seven year old on flights a wife turns on I try to write sometimes. I come up with some of my best bits while writing no, no, that's after the movie, but yeah, it's a five hour and 51 minute flight, that's true, so I usually do a little bit, you know?

I listen to music, I tune in, I eat whatever they give me, I put on the movie and I have the notebook directly on the iPad, so someone comes to me, you press it and then you stay all night that night in your hotel room. but no, I like Irish. Do you write on your iPad? Yes, someone got a protector. Do you have one of those detachable keyboards? I have the keyboard with the screen and I just typed like I normally do, that's why I put the final product up now. So now I still have a notebook, but I have different stupid ideas and then once the joke works, I put it on the iPad now and I can add labels to it.

Oh, it sounds like before, so now, but you're just writing. on the iPad screen like a phone, you know, you don't have a keyboard, you know it has a keyboard, oh, you have a yeah, okay, it saved my life. The best thing happens when you know it's basically like a small laptop, hear me out. no Twitter no Facebook no nothing oh I have YouTube Netflix Hulu and that writing app mmm that's it that's my rest of the hotel room that's good for your Friday night no one you if you post me on Facebook on Friday night and I'm on the road you stink my dick just Twitter same thing I don't want to see it on the road that's the distraction so on the road I don't want to do podcasts I don't want to do anything I do want to lift a little bit maybe go to a small local kickboxing school and exercise, but I want to focus on writing that six hours are worthless of Hemingway just to make small adjustments from the night before, yeah, that's it, you know you have this moment when you're on the road and you can use it in a way that makes you help.

It can be beneficial or you can just use it for just one or two things. You have to figure out what is optimal for you when you are traveling. the way for me I always have better scenarios when I exercise you have to exercise you always have to work I don't like that strange fog I feel when I fly somewhere and then I just like to prepare for the show my In my chest there is something like it's hard to make it all work, but if you get on an elliptical machine for 20 minutes, listen to good music and just say there's no option, you have to do this, just do it once 10 minutes are up and then you're sweating you're having a good time so you're fine for 40 minutes or more we've been friends for 23 years you've been taking me on tour for 20 of those years we couldn't do what we were doing 20 years on the road today not because I'm not calling your attention because you have kids , your wife, you have a thousand other responsibilities, so on Tuesday you can tell yourself those who chose it, yes, Sunday leaves for the Oct of Sunday, so it is also Like you, you can get a lot of benefit from that when you are in those early stages, like we were when we were learning how to do the road, you just get a lot out of those weeks of weekends from Wednesday to Sunday, you know why, because, I'm fine. you want to stab yourself in the gun for saying the same joke, yeah, you wake up on Saturday morning and run like yeah, because on Saturday you had three shows when we went through this pattern of free shows that you told me when I'm not numb. what's not worth it, yeah, it's the law of diminishing returns, you didn't know a joke you told before midnight, yeah, even if you stayed sober, you didn't smoke, then Wilma Sobers improvises, you're still like tonight, you say this part, so it's just a burner that's the law of diminishing returns Sunday people are tired, no they don't have the same reaction on Sunday you and I were never tired then, but there were no kids involved, there were no serious girlfriends involved, there weren't many If there weren't any podcasts involved, there were a lot of different things, so now my schedule has to be this: you don't meet a house.

I could take the Friday flight that way, I can take the six-hour flight on Friday at 6 a.m. Landon. County at 2:00 and be a town hall ready to go at 8:00, but do I really want to do that? I have to do it? I didn't think that this Thursday at six in the morning I would arrive in New York to take a little nap at 4:00 go downstairs, use the elliptical, get to the five-pound shadow box for ten minutes because I don't believe in the shadow boxes hmm, it breaks a tremendous one, yes, Barbra jams, go up the stairs and you also move, you hit one in the shower, get up and hang yourself, you go to a good stage and see the city and then I do what I learned from my brother Joe Rogan, you even tip yourself big, so when you get offered to an employee like word gets out, Joe Rogan is in town on Friday morning, you wake up. even the show sold that I don't have to go to Arabia you know that's this plan yeah and thenyou wake up on Friday at a local kickboxing school I always say that, yeah and they look at you like sir.

Rogan, you shouldn't, yeah, I'm doing the class. I'm going to meet some people. You get more than that, they talk to you, they break your balls a little, but then you get a super set to pick you up. and you go back to the old town, you actually went out, you were sociable before the show mm-hmm - the hotel room and you sat there for six hours and you goaded the right one, you threw in an episode of The Sopranos, I'm looking for one, you're throwing up move on to something else then go back to writing maybe you take a nap you take a good 20 minute shower and do a show at seven in case they sell out you do the second show but if you're not back in your room you put on a movie that you haven't even seen edible you wake up at 5:00 you're at the airport insects you're back at LAX at night I want to watch this documentary, it sounds perfect, that's what works for me now to be more effective, you know, I could be governor and go out on Wednesdays, but on Saturday I won't be a good comedian. yeah, I think we're still a good comic putting in the reps and putting it in the raps in the city, it's just about reps, you know, as many reps as you can.

What happens on the road when you do those Wednesday to Sunday is that you get long reps, you like our sets every show, which is great. No, no, no, I think where we are right now, I want to honor him with 50% of his show last night. At the comedy store I got to suck dicks out of the way, I mean, I sucked a dick out of the bag in the main room and then took the same insecticidal dicks as in the original room, but I wanted to try new material. I was failing in the past, I was going to all these other clubs and leaving, I mean, you don't let me try to shut down communications, you still listen, you bring everything to the Comedy Store chapel and let the pieces fall where they may, it's 15 to get.

If you know that now you see 22 comics and they will see 22 comics that will top the whole world, so suck my dick. I'm going, thanks 50%, but I'm looking up trying something new last night. talking about we've always met at one time or another me with someone that's how you learn not to be a meet up or is it when I do with someone once and then you say that wasn't right and then I'll never meet two again for me, they were strange adjectives. All I started with that, I opened with that to really put myself in the hole of that is that there was a class, an adverb, what is that?

Me too and it's a verb if you know someone. It has to be an adverb, yeah, second, yeah, the only way you learned from me, the only way you learn not to beat me to find you or is for me to steal a candy from the store when you were a kid, right, yeah , and your mother told you slap. nice because that's not right at the same time I do this I'm the one I was also invented here they Martin Monroe from Marilyn to death they did that vaginal thing it looks like that embassy in Tehran whatever they bombed what was that famous case of Fatty Arbuckle where there were some disgusting people, you know?

Among the Bikram documentary, did you see that one? I didn't see that disgusting animal making women suck that dick in six yoga sessions in 90 degree weather, that's just animal cruelty. You could go to jail just for sucking on that. desk you know Harvey everything that happens here but as men we all made some money when you were a kid my mistake for me I was in love with this lady called destiny she was 37 and her big juicy tits I would wear shorts I was about 14 I had never seen a vagina or tits anything and we used to play basketball and our two dogs were blind she had French poodles and she had flip flops and she crossed the street and she was so hot she was 38 and she had a husband who was like 60 years, he would barely be alive like that guy from Texas who was a Howard Marshall and he kept an eye on her because he knew he was wild through things like she had two daughters and the daughters were tough and one of my goombas dated one of the daughters.

I never told him that he was alive every time I play basketball. in the seventies and she had delicious tits with the stick in her nipple another one drove me crazy I was 13 14 I love whoever saw her in the window with pants on she looked delicious and finally summer of '79 I'm getting up all over with some friends of mine I've been drinking shots, we started taking angel dust and we're listening to Led Zeppelin, if you go to his body, Led Zeppelin, it's the album you should give yourself, it starts with a lot of love. that just makes your hips move and then he goes into the lemon song and he's talking about squeezing me baby - the juice runs down my leg I say that's all the juice runs down my leg my mother was a flower chicks but flowers for everywhere I wore like a shirt I swear to God that had to be why because she walked the dog at night but her husband called you 15 the dog was sleeping the husband fainted at 8:00 so she took the dogs came out at 10 o'clock, the last time she took him down and you know they were some kind of blind French poodles and she was still wearing tight white pants, you know, the Dixie deuce bumper is in the 70s before they invent, she already had the Daisy on with the shirt and I remember being in that angel dust hidden in the weeds, except how and with the flowers that bloom because I was going to bring her flowers, but my plan was to attack it as if it were her sweater in the thing, throw it to the ground. and going with the flowers is how crazy I was going to attack her like I couldn't take it normal like I wanted to marry her that's like anywhere other than angel dust and I was on the verge of this, it was what I would make fun of. crystal call it what you want it's an animal tranquilizer no matter how you look at it and I remember I ran towards her and she turned around and said Coco what's going on I go and I just stop when I'm going to fight I'm in love with you I said what are you talking about ?

I fell in love with you for two years. I want to run away with you. My mother. I am like. Let's just get a job. Let's go. Wow and she looks at me like. wait a lot like me first of all she's going to be like this girl is broken and she you've been drinking and like I still love you take the flowers and she was I'll tell you what happens if I divorce my husband I'm considerate and I was like , it's okay, I can live with that, can I give you a kiss? I like to kiss her on the cheek.

I like to feel the heat rising up my head and finally, when she was going to turn me over, I looked at her like she had the juiciest thing. legs in the world I know, I can touch your thigh and she keeps going Jerome and that's like her kneecap and my cock just exploded that sperm I ran away like Steven Seagal, honestly, Steve, sir, ran, run like a put that lip, Be Steven. Seagal runs, there are a couple, did you ever see him run and he runs very straight and he was very tall. What was the first one he did?

That's really good. I love the law. Look at it. Look how he gets up. Runs. Look at it. Look at it. Can you imagine he just has a strange build? He is very tall and runs a little loose with his hands, which is a little confusing which one this was. This is a sector that is above the law. It is cut. No she does not have. Oh, that's all. It's a. a ton of different movies now because he has more hair now because people make fun of him for the way he runs yeah he was married to dog Kelly LeBrock at one point dude he was once the man how many times do I masturbate with Kelly LeBrock. and the woman in red, one of Gene Wilder, he calls her he, this is what she is, her steps are too short and her wrists spin because she used to do it in Aikido, right, you still like Jojo, don't stop that, please, don't protect They don't, don't throw ice, you know, those Japanese work 3,000 years to put Aikido on the map and now you're going to leave that poor aikido school behind and Burbank has moved eight times, they keep losing students until they're down to two. students wearing a robe and a sword who are going to practice Aikido as someone who doesn't really want to fight and you want to be able to passively push someone away from you which is unrealistic but the sword part could go up if you hit the fan if we come back and you know, if they throw us into the Stone Age nuclear war with Russia, we'll see a beat now and he joined in again, no dodged sticks, yeah, they moved his bird back and I've thought about When I was a kid I went to Aikido for about two weeks.

It's probably fun. The boy's name was Richard Ball. It was supposed to be a big time and Gotberg New Jersey mm-hmm and he taught that deviance stuff, but Steven Seagal and more. Lord took it to a different level, which is damage, that throat shot, oh yeah, he's got the throat shot off, that's beautiful. I had a meeting with a guy on a movie, there's this thing like my agent sent me to meet this guy. They were looking for someone to make a Steven Seagal type movie that they were looking for, they were going to try to create an action star and we actually had a discussion about this movie that moves right there, but the less poisonous throat I got carried away. the law and the one we beat the Jamaicans oh yeah, which one was the one without swords, then fighting with swords and hard to kill, wasn't that the one that made me angry too oh, you're in a coma for four years after these two days later, you add a partner, yeah, and he's being like Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, yeah, I loved it, I'm on time, I love doing it, I loved it, I like what he has, man, I think in that first movie it was one. of the more unique martial arts movies like Above the Law, it's almost a shame that he made a bunch of movies that weren't as good because if you go back to Above the Law in terms of martial arts history and By Above the Law is a legitimate historical film in terms of martial arts films because it was the first film where you could see a real Aikido practitioner with a hybrid martial arts system like he did with our Kido, but it also released many blows and knives. strikes and many strikes it was a cellar show and above the law just split up play this that's the bet y'all this guy look at it all I mean I've made fun of him as much as anyone but listen. his Aikido skills were very legit he was very legit whether those things are real or not that is a matter of debate whether it is really effective or not when you look at other things like wrestling and jiu-jitsu it is the most effective way to grow o Judo is the most effective form, no it is not, but no one knew that back then, and he at that time, in the 1980s and 90s, was a world class martial artist, he just had a style that eventually It didn't turn out to be the best. but I was also doing this it's hard to kill a lot of people were doing kung fu a lot of people were doing things that they thought were legit but they really want the UFC to come up and we found out that this is not the best way to do it this is 87 that's a kid in this scene he was only in a movie with Clint Eastwood Emile has been making movies for 30 years.

I can't now that guy with the tattoos in how many movies he's been a bad guy. Right there, the second guy, guys, in every bad guy, everyone's a big test, he, what's his name? He used to live in Las Vegas. I heard he had a restaurant and they weren't even sure I love a good shitty drama, a good shitty cop drama like me. I love, love, go back and watch some 90's crime dramas. They're fun. Kojak. Oh, pop, finally, how about Beretta? How about that? You know what was the good one, brother, that they should bring back, but the wise guy, what was the wise guy? handsome guy with he was undercover with the mafia but he was actually a CIA cop like a Donnie Brasco guy situationally handsome guy really handsome this is right here he people up no no this is a movie Wiseguy was a TV show it's robust, Isn't that right Robert Wall?

Robert, a handsome guy, dated Paul Newman and, uh, Fort Apache, the Bronx, oh, why is God the TV series? What am I looking at here? Jamie just backed away, remember that guy. yeah, remember that, Rock, who is that guy? Does it say watch, do a regular search instead of watching the video? That's right, there are so many number wings, wings, forget it and Jan Michael Vincent, yes, I was sure not. no, no, wings, it was the NBC TV show, right, yeah, Jan Michael Vincent wasn't on wings, wait, Jan Michael Vincent wasn't a show about war. Ken wall Kenton Jan Michael Vincent was in a movie about a TV show about airborne pilots. that haunted you on CBS that's when he went crazy that's what he wanted crazy well he went crazy straight from the mechanic how he went I think it was famous that probably made that guy write the famous alcoholism, yeah, but a lot of that it's probably the bear wolf and the telecare werewolf, yeah, seasons, that guy in the mechanic, if you go back to the original version of Charles Bronson, the mechanic, he was slated to be the next big superstar, right, he made a movie for Disney with Kurt Russell called the best athlete in the world and, of course, Dave, he was, he was a Disney guy first, you don't know the best in the world, he happily, uh, went to pick up the weights in his arm, stretched it and that was his first film.

It was a Disney movie and then it became Jam Mikewill be in charge of doing this and this, that's how it came in. Oh, the stories these women tell, I'm crazy like it's just another level of crazy, my manipulation, you know. just old school pimp you and i want to see an american pimp yeah and we went to that bbq place you took me to a nice bbq place next door with american newspapers they use bros just that mentality i was detecting that type of women. I know it happens, but it's horrible and I feel terrible about it and it makes me feel bad hearing the story, but what makes me laugh is that if we knew that JLo had been capturing 15 year olds and urinating in their faces, we'd think so. .

It would be funny if JLo went to high school and had all these sophomores and brought it back to her house for a gangbang, we'd think these kids had a good time, that's good, it's one of those big giant differences between the way we feel. about men and women, this r.kelly thing is horrible, but it's kind of funny that if our Kelly was like a really beautiful woman and she was doing the exact same thing, 15 year old boys were forced to live with her and eat . her and she would say it's funny, we'd just think it's funny, dollars doing it, yes, Madonna is doing it, he doesn't read or write very well, except when it comes to amazing music tracks, it's his turn, he said, he's Well, he doesn't read or write well.

That's sad, this is all weird, our ideas about sex based on gender are very different, we feel very different about that story, there would be a hilarious story if there was a weird big titted singer who had his little sex call. and she brings in fifteen sixteen-year-olds, we wouldn't really, we'd say wow, but we wouldn't feel like a crime was committed, we're hypocrites because yeah, I make jokes about it on Twitter. I see him, another 16 year old boy. the teacher sucks a dick, you know, but then you think, Jesus Christ, I have a daughter, this swings both ways, so we're hypocrites and we're hypocrites about who we've known for years, we heard about Michael Jackson, there are people, I'll look at you. in the face and that's it, Michael Jackson never touched the child, yes, yes, today we will look at your face and say: Oh, Jason didn't kill that mmm, there are people who are going to think what they think you are broken, so Yes I do not.

Obviously I have no idea what happened with Michael Jackson, but I would assume there was something wrong just from the way he behaved. I would say what other things are weird about the way you behave, the way you talk is weird, like everything about you. It's like you're so broken by this whole fame thing and you're constantly getting plastic surgery to the point where no one can recognize you anymore. I mean, we never saw that before, that's the first superstar we saw that literally became a different human being like his face changed he changed his nose he changed his chin he changed the whole complexion of his skin the color resides how everything stayed with his face his nose would collapse and we were all aware of it we're like whoa when you watch Never Neverland I want you to see it alone I don't want you to see it from the perspective of what you've seen as a comedian, it was just called escape from Neverland whatever, never, never, I don't know, Finding Neverland, don't worry, I'll take the napkin, you know, I'm not a napkin heathen.

It bothers, no, it doesn't bother me, you know what I'm going to tell you, definitely, well, when you see this movie, you will understand it the same way I understood it, the lucky thing is that people like you and I saw it. I don't drink the kool-aid, you and I have been in the store and you and I have had arguments and you and I have seen that it's 2020, whatever it is, I've known you since 97 98, we've seen a thousand comics come and go , Yeah. part of their addiction part of their lifestyle was not for them, but there is a percentage of them that one day you were talking to them about writing jokes, the next day they were talking to you about scripts and production, they just lost their minds and drank. the kool-aid and because they drank the kool-aid now they calm me down again and it's been four years they've been playing their stupid little charade mm-hmm and they lost all their strength listening there are a lot of guys who are up-and-coming comedians who ended up doing that and when they bring these scripts to Comedy Central and all these different places, I'm an executive producer on this and that and that and this and then it all sells out and then they direct it's not good.

So when you watch Never Neverland you're going to see people who were trapped, people who lived in the same evaluation, man, Michael Jackson came to your house, paid your bills and said, "You know, I'll take them on the road with me, you're all included, it starts with the room at the end of the hall and the next thing you know he is in the room next door. No there are no more rooms on the levels in the same hotel so you are in the hotel next door. for you but your son your daughter really wants to sleep with Michael Jackson your own dad oh why they're kicking you out you know they're throwing money at you to go out to dinner a limo picking up to go see you you're also leaving your two daughters with Michael Jack they think I'll put up with it, this city is all about I'm sure Marilyn Monroe Lynn came to this town thinking she was going to be sucking Kennedy's cock, Sam Giancana's cock and the baseball players, yeah, you know, they walked by.

She was around, she was sucking, He was passing information from the mafia to the Kennedys and back and forth, did you ever think about that? Yeah, I mean, I'm not Marilyn Monroe, yeah, yeah, what am I talking about, one of them, one of them was Canada, oh her. Yes, Marilyn Marilyn, this city has, you know, it's always been like this. Before we were talking about Fatty Arbuckle, what we picked and picked, don't think anyone, no, the name of the wines, no one knows, because of Harvey Weinstein, no one knew, that's what you're telling. Have you seen the video or does Ricky Gervais joke about being friends with Harvey Weinstein at the last Golden Globes and then there's a whole series of people thanking Harvey for getting up there and thanking Harvey all of these, including the people who have accused him What did things get up from? there and thanking them and talking about how they wouldn't be here if it weren't for Harvey Weinstein.

I mean, it's like 10 minutes long, it's all these famous people thanking Harvey or God lol and everyone's laughing like people are just thanking him. A lot of praise for all of these, like the super famous actors Daniel Day-Lewis, everyone, whatever, everyone, Faye Dunaway, whoever they are up there, thanking Harvey Weinstein, it's amazing, Harvey, you're amazing, it's great, so It's crazy if you stop and think about how recent it is. that was it and no one knows, I don't think they would know, unless he did it to them, what was it, you know, I think there's an innocence in a lot of people's perceptions of people like that, it's that both sides are right. . as if the girl wanted to go to him because he was going to offer her a role in a movie and he wants the girl to come to him because she is hot and he wants her to suck his cock and they both know it, there are those cases, but they are very different from the ones where he grabs a girl or takes off his robe when she expected it to be a real script and those are very, very different things and I don't know if people knew about them, I think they thought it was more of the former The second thing, I think they thought they were more like creepy deals he made with actresses, but they kept their word and sucked his dick, but then when you hear the other stories, it makes me go well, it's probably because they knew, but the people around.

He knew he's a pig, but he probably didn't know what the worst accusations were. You know, he just didn't want to know that. That could be a compromise. They know it, but they didn't want to know. I had to go to their parties, they loved these foods, how to attend these functions, but they didn't really cross a line, yes, there are those people too, and then in the amazing movies too, somehow, it's just as guilty if I tell you well. Now I'm going to shoot Redman and you sit here. I shoot the red band and they prosecute you.

Oh, that's right, yeah, you get an accessory, your knowledge, so you know when an Epstein or Weinstein or one of these guys is doing what they were doing. Don't know. I'll take you to a bar with a job. You look at me and go. These guys do no good or bad. TRUE. I go to Dan Tana's to eat and I see a guy. I see a boy working and I see a. some guy's girl job for the small penny I even heard the guy watch him go to 500 was that front row you were sitting there bars right there about three four months ago must have been you know is this is this yeah, well, remember when the guy The Clippers got in trouble.

What's that guy's name? the owner yes, what was his name Sterling Sterling Donald Donald Sterling just when they recorded him saying the girl Yes, he was a girl he was fucking this girl. He had bought her a penthouse, he bought her a Ferrari, he bought her a Bentley, it's just that she was super sexy to him, look at her, she's a pretty girl and he's a disgusting looking old man, so that was his super side piece, like that that he would just buy her everything, but after a while, she says, "You're already pretty sexy," and like that kind of garbage, now it's just that with me the situation is not, that's it, listen, that's it, he was clear and she was clear, they were both doing it for very specific reasons.

She was very nice and he was rich and she was hot and that's it, she now, what's the state of her face like I started using if you want to be seen? Oh, that was back in the day when Pepper Otzi, yeah, let me enjoy. now let me ask you let me ask you did you come across this broad ah is it okay in the end or is it a complicated situation if you don't listen are you working? I think they have to come to you first, what if it's okay? 500 fell my pocket, you sucked me, you know that, right?

It is this? Are you soliciting prostitution? Are you asking for a settlement or is this a meat to the situation? It's all of the above. I think the only way people would be comfortable with that and they still probably wouldn't do it. like if you believe in people's rights you have the right to do anything right you also have the right to be a prostitute if you wanted to be one oh so the only way it would ever be okay is if she made it clear that she was one she was willing to to have sex for money and this was his choice, he could do with his body, then people would probably leave you alone, but even then they would be mad at you, they would be willing to pay for sex, you disgusting piece of you, you know?

You're supposed to pretend you don't want to have sex with her and then you wouldn't be willing to pay for it. In everyone's eyes, it would only be okay if it was the woman's choice, but every time we think about if you think about sex for money, everyone, at least in the fall, I automatically think about sex trafficking, which is the worst of the possible cases. If you go with a prostitute, that prostitute is a sex slave, right, that's what they got in the trade. guy, they were using a false accusation against that guy who was jacked off, you know, the guy who owned the page, yeah, yeah, guys who were just trying to get jacked off.

Jesus Christ, leave him alone, his wife died a bunch of years ago, so he goes to In this place there were just normal prostitutes, they masturbated him and then he got into real trouble and they said they were trying to hook him up with some kind of slavery sexual. It turned out that was not the case, these are just massage ladies, they fooled you like Those are really good. I've got over it. I'm sure in the valley, that whole strip. You have to be careful what you put in. You have to be careful where I go, it's tremendous.

Look at this. You already know. to show you look my punch card is full now okay, it's all the foot spa. I walk in there, it's all guys and one girl and the girl is built like me and if you need a massage, they get like whatever they have on the street. They have all the time to advise, they have all the time massages and what's the other one that's big in Sioux no, it's a new white corporation Massage Envy huh, all those places on this block listen, go and give him this little Chinese chicken junk for the 40 spot and then I tip him $60 because it's 44 45 minutes.

I tip her $60. She's with me for a now. She turns on Fujitsu, go, they do the elbow in your back and all the things that God turned me on with this. Alberto cries and says brother, you want the best massage in the city, I'll show it to you and like I live right across the street live. right around the corner I could walk there if I want you to go there some nights. I'm going on a date night with my wife. We want a date and we would grab sweatshirts and change there and we go and they take your things out and put your feet on. in the buckets they rub you they rub your shoulders your neck sometimes there was only one person who rubbed my feet I have that fungal toenail, little Chinese hands on my fungus they don't know it they just let it die people oh no, I said, leave it I just go like you're patient zero, what is that?

You were patient zero, if they rub your feet and then it spreads to all these people and they have Paul Tracy back, yeah, yeah, I'm the one that had the fun now, so now I even got the beat to take a hit really 'cause You go to the valley and the lady comes, she puts something in the email and they get heated, another lady comes in and they have masks, she's hysterical and she comes in and would make it fly. cold,They're like Carol Burt, we're out there, we beat the iPad mm-hmm and the other girl comes with a blowtorch and they try to kill the fungus, you have to smell that, you have to smell that, oh, so I liked six dates in the I tried to burn the fungus, oh my God, this won't work, the toenail was on fire, no, it spread to the other one, no, so now I have the big one and the one next to it, long, and here it is the ugliest thing in the world. like one of those eagle jitsu wafers I try to hide it with something bad but it just cuts the band-aid it's horrible I don't know what else to do I have to take medicine but I don't know if my kidneys can handle it because the blood pressure medicine oh you can't you have to take a fungus that will kill it but i took one i tried the zap and it still didn't kill it is there anything you can apply topically? or does it have to be a pill they speak I have done everything I have done everything the apple cinnamon cider Clorox I wet it I wrap it in a Cloris and it is great because I cut it the best thing I do is I cut it like some nights when I'm bored, I bought it and when I take the grinder and grind it like coke powder and it grinds, you have to smell that powder to believe it right, it smells a lot and just touching Jesus Christ and I have to clean the counter and throw it in the trash, but I will grind those first two toes, it's like you're stopping your toes, oh yeah, it's a sand I got the extra stone for like I had.

My wife goes to Amazon and gets like the Bahamas car rock, yeah, yeah, bodies and I'm just sad about that fallen toenail. I don't even know Jesus Christ. I don't know where I got it from. It's internal and you know, it's internal. Yes, because that's how. the fungus comes out of you, oh so it's on your body and then it just comes out through your toes so it can come out in other places, yeah, but I'm not going to put it on my nails and none of that, it's just in that mushroom. toenail and if it came out on your balls it doesn't make sense we just want your wife to suck your cock it's ironic so that jacket is longer than that it's a nightmare I don't know how women can suck an old man's cock, does that look? my dick in the mirror when I go like to Las Vegas they have those nice mirrors when you get there you're at home you look at your different looks the way he does everything because you're used to that mirror, right, it's not like you walk backwards when you pass by vacation or something like that when you're on the road working you pass by a mirror and it catches you like you're getting a little fat like real hotel mirrors don't, there's a lake there, but when you look at the 56, my penis He's been through hell, he's older, you haven't helped, he smells like Newark Staten Island, it's like his pee is different.

You've been smelling like pee lately. I'm trying not to open. old Machida said drink her beer give her a shot of power to beat this this will poison you when I wake up in the morning that first dose of P is the worst smell in the world before I go to bed I drink a little water a little juice Thai cherry and I would take a baby aspirin because the high after 50 is to have a heart attack between 5:30 and 12. I was making a mistake and took my aspirin at 7:00 it's too late you have to do it if you you take before going to sleep, it is better for you.

I have to ask. you this before we stop doing this before the podcast we were talking about the bedding line for this weekend, right sir, for Connor and the cowboy, and what we say, what we say about the over-under, You two are talking about it. talking about over-under it's like 1 1 and a half it's oh yeah they're trying to make people better so what they're doing now is what they did they did something spectacular to begin with when you bet don't don't bet on the First, you have to look at what happened a week before and what will happen the following week.

Now is the best time for you. You're a player because you have college basketball. Professional basketball. You have action every day. This is bad. it's when people whose houses this time of year is bad have football playoffs tonight it's the national game that's big Johnson dollars college football tonight it's a lot of fake money so tonight's big and then we have playoffs it's Saturday right mister Sunday so we have Conor McGregor so right now the two minute tape from ESPN where they showed Conor tonight the UFC preview at 8 o'clock at 6 and they will show you both training camps and other people on the billboard or all that, everyone is forcing you to transfer that.

Conor McGregor after this weekend, no one, not even our man Jaime, had the Tennessee Titans to beat Baltimore, no one, no one, no one was his mother, but Baltimore, not even John Rael, said anything, the rival of John said something, it was like it wasn't going to happen. Baltimore. Baltimore had been on a hot streak, there was another upset against Kansas City that beat the Texans right here at the end of 2014. They were down by 24 nothing when you open the UFC card for this weekend, so I got to see who's in the billboard, that's right. Well, then what is everyone going to try to do to bet on Cerrone?

Well, what's the line right now so you can get what's this plus two sixty-four plus two sixteen under one and a half round mm-hmm, but then I go through one. and a half, what do I do? I make a little more money than that, the plus for less would be a little more the plus 105 for less, so I guess the money is above right now, it's minus 135, how can the money be? in the oval piece of light it is very slight although it is good look so this Diego for Hara is the favorite over Anthony Pettis mmm that is an interesting fight right there because right there they know something that we do not know hmm that is interesting Diego is very good he is a very good fighter, but Holly Holm Rachael Penton, yeah, it's a good fight.

Holly Holmes is right. Excuse me, she's a favorite. Holly, yes, yes, yes. Rachel Pennington is a tough man, she is very tough. Paint is one of those girls, it's like she's had some last second wins, like against. Ashlee Evans-smith one of the wildest finishes in a women's fight. She strangles her with a bulldog and the stranglers are knocked unconscious with blood coming from her forehead. It was a wild ending. Man, see if he can find that ending. Ashlee Evans-smith Raquel. Pennington ends up with Ashlee Evans-smith, so right now, how does Donald Cerrone look against Conor? What did the money look like?

I don't understand money as I don't know it, I would only be talking about me having spent a hundred dollars. If the cowboy wins and he wins the fight, you would make it to 60, so you would collect 360 and if you bet a hundred on Conor, you would have to bet $320 to win a hundred on Conor. Okay, minus 320, the only way. You can win this weekend with Connor and you see Connor continue and then knock him out in the first round on the under. What if Connor fights them and lasts five rounds? I don't see many people betting on Connor in the The final look is so good that people hope this turns out well.

This is Raquel Pennington's fight so give it a thumbs up towards the end, it was a wild fight and Ashlee Evans-smith is the woman who beat Fallon Fox. The transgender fighter stopped her in her fight just before she got to the UFC, It was just a wild fight, these girls were going to war, so at the last moment, I mean, I think it was like the last second of the fight that I was blocking. her in this bulldog choke and that's why like blood is coming out of her head oh they don't show the finish which is UFC it's that sneaky they don't even see the tap or the knockout like I don't understand it. guys, I work for you, I love you, show everyone the choke, why are you hiding the choke anyway?

Maybe it's just a time constraint, but she got her into this bulldog choke. Blood spurts from her head and then at the end of the ring. She let go and the girls were knocked out and it was like, wow, it was one of those fights, just wait, what's going on, you're holy, you know you see something that's just primal, there are moments and fights that are just primal, you know sometimes those moments are like they're almost surreal like when Francis went to take down Alistair Overeem boom oh just primitive just what who cut his lip who up oh Rosen attacks oh my god Rosen attacks now I'm going to fight Francis Giardino Rosen attacks and Francis and Ghana where Columbus Ohio Damn, it's a crazy fight.

I almost wish more people knew how hard Rosen's shot is. You watch the fight with Alistair Overeem and you're doing well. The takedown was kind of a pin point and then caught Alistair really slipping with about 10 seconds left to go in. the fight and hit him with a bomb and busted his lip, that's true, but he still absorbed everything Alistair threw at him, he never looked like he was shaken at all, we're talking about a guy and Alistair who knocked out Junior dos Santos . you know he was the grand prix champion k1 no tremendous he really knocked out Todd Duffee in the prize he knocked out our guys riser I needed your boy there the big white I hope you know what his name is mark hunting you know he's a big white I hope you be Australian Oh Brock Lesnar strident, that's a perfect example of him, but in the meantime, the rosin punches just cut through all that and I'm not suggesting that the Alistar of today has had a long career, that he's as durable and as big as when he fought Brock Lesnar.

There are really two different guys at this point, but Rosen still attacks, he is a beast, he is a very strong man and he has legit kickboxing skills. What do you see, he can fight, we can make money. This is what it seems to me. It seems to me that Conor McGregor. He has the advantage of being able to close the distance and perhaps a speed advantage, this is perceived based on watching them fight different people. The cowboy when he's at his best he's remarkably well-rounded and I think he's more well-rounded than Conor, I think. The cowboy has a lot of tools that people forget, particularly his takedowns are excellent.

The cowboy can subdue you. He subdues many people. He is unpleasant. He has evil triangles. I could see if this went down. Connor is submitted by a cowboy in the Triangle. What I couldn't see is that Conor submitted the cowboy in a triangle. I could see I could see the cowboys subduing Connor. I don't think it's impossible for Connor to send the cowboy, but I don't see it. I think Connor can win by knockout, yes he is very fast, yes his left hand is a piston, he is sneaky and has nasty hooks and has a killer instinct when you hear him bombard you and the idea of ​​the fight with Eddie Alvarez is the The best example that Eddie Alvarez was a world class fighter and Conor McGregor took it like no one had ever done in his career, he honed it and made it look like he had no business in the cage with them.

Now, for Eddie, he said yes. I just fought to fight and I think in the eighties I'm a world class fighter, but the point is that, in the future, Conor McGregor handles as well or better than anyone who has ever lived, he handles pressure, so Well, we'll kiss to Floyd Mayweather with an uppercut in a fight where he's so overmatched that he doesn't have boxing matches and he's fighting the greatest boxer of all time on one of the biggest pay-per-view cards in history, it's crazy be able to handle the pressure. I lost that fight because Floyd is a much better boxer but he handled the pressure against Aldo he talked a lot for a year going on tour together tearing up pictures of him stealing his belt he stands in front of him flat lines I'm in 13 seconds perfect punch perfect execution like he measured it with a left hand before stepping back, he goes for the lab bang and catches him coming in, he's perfect under pressure, he's not the type of fighter that Nurmagomedov is, he's not in that category, he's got pressure in this fight, oh He fought with a lot of pressure, he fought the guy everyone fears and at least made it to the fourth round.

He was in the fourth round submission, yeah, and he probably wasn't really prepared for that fight. You think about how much time passed. been out of MMA how long would he be working, you know, just boxing and then spending all that money because he made like a hundred million dollars. The question for me is who is Conor at this point? Conor McGregor, the same guy he knocked out? Boston Dustin Poirier when he was a wild man Is he the same guy who knocked out Diego Brandao? Is he the same guy who knocked out José Aldo? Is he the same guy who knocked out Eddie Alvarez or is he just something new because of all this? money and all this fame and all this attention he likes to party and me what does he know if he is the same guy and physically there should be no reason why he isn't?

He hasn't received any terrible beating, not even the number of comments. fight, he stopped him with a chokehold if he's the same guy and decides that he wants the world to know that he can still do it and who gives how much money he has in the bank. He wants the world to know that he is here. to the people and he is here to claim the crown from him if he enters the fight with that attitude. I mean we could certainly see a resurgence. The question has always been whether or not a rich man has the motivation to work like a poor man and is a very rich man, we don't know that everyone is different Mayweather fought hard until the day he died or, sorry, until the day he who retired and Mayweather when he was retired duringmy brother.

I think a cigarette company sponsored it. Well, anyway, maybe maybe it was. just a design, he was a monster and he just jumped on top of Sugar Ray Leonard wouldn't let him breathe and Sugar decided to try to fight his fight, squirt up to the fight, squirt up a little to fight, Sugar Ray just decided to try. to face him up close like that, so they fought these kind of fights like this in the clinch, total chaos, kind of fight that favors Duran, you know, Duran was just a lovely animal, I love that, but look how he's fighting with him and bass Kunder hooking. him and pushing him against the ring staying in his face is not giving him any chance to move and in the rematch obviously Sugar Ray fought a totally different fight and got Roberto Durán to quit, but it was an incredible fight and historically one of the greatest .

Boxing matches were always chaos when Sugar Ray Leonard took a chance and you know his ego probably got the best of him, he said I'll beat you at your own game or I'll try and Duran just stuck to him like glue and just did it. started his body and stayed on top of him and then after he finished the ground I'm sure Durán still pushed him, it's like walking away from me like after the fight was over Durán was still mad at him, bad move, it was Montreal, I was in Calabi because a couple.

Days before the fight, Durán ran into Sugar Ray Leonard and Sugar Ray, who was a good guy, he had his wife with him and his kids and he goes, let's go say hello to Bernie. Roberto Costa and Roberto told him to get the out of my face before your wife in the ass read the book or the book I can't believe she read the book I let in got so much into Sugar Ray's head that that's how He hit him, he said that to him, I'm going to hit your wife in the ass, see you, look, he runs back without my pushing and look at this, look at the animal far away from me that is still yelling at him, you yell at him after a war.

Duran defeated him. Duran was a monster. He was so angry, look at him brother, even after all that fight, he was still crazy, moving his fingers wildly, he was a smart savage, like a savage technician, you know, his boxing was soap, beautiful, Durán was like he was, just He knew how to cancel, remove and put. his will on you animal man it's okay go away I don't have to finish this yet Joey I have another podcast together I love you brother I love you so much I won't see you this week I'll see you again on Tuesday come on I know I'll be at Sam Tripley's tomorrow I'll be a prophet 10:30 oh yeah, okay Tabernacle next week Oh, oh Atlanta, out of this, why didn't the special bring the showers?

Yes, yes, I love that you have, I love it. You too Missy because you made the right decision tonight, bye everyone.