PLAINPOTATOESS COMPILATION (* NEW MAY 2019 BEST OF PLAINPOTATOESS) OVER 50 MINUTES OF DARKNESS
yeah hey man what are we taking pictures for family pictures okay what's what's your last name thank you very much yeah um I don't have a family I'm trying to just you know I'm trying to force myself in your family yeah yeah yeah I take the picture take the picture so we're trying to take a family photo Jasmine from Aladdin I'm sorry you like that no so we gonna take just take a picture I'm right here papa take the picture okay security I started making a lot of money and along with money comes a lot of uh-huh okay okay you get what I'm saying yeah so you just have to push your hairline from here to here your hairline starts it starts here but needs to be here why why it's a proceeding you know how to spell receding no no no our seating okay and we just need to fix it okay also we have to get you a bigger penis come on sorry I I could see it I can see it I'm looking at it come on sorry to read my art you trying to read your article yeah I mean I mean it gives me a kiss leave me alone I thought I thought this was my hood thought this was my good stop crying man you're a grown man I'm not crying bro stop crying dude it's really it's really unbecoming of you I'm drinking water yeah isn't what do you do with water you drink it right just like huh just because you nose ring is rusty that's right doesn't mean you have to yell at me okay Jessica okay why didn't Wally give young motors I don't know why didn't y'all know why didn't Wally give young motors I can make I can make your life better I will pay the rent at your trailer house if you just calm down I amazing thank you huh you're gonna have to leave because you have to leave you're gonna have to leave you will you will now what what happens now I'm gonna pull up a chair over here okay I don't think that's okay no i'ma pull up a chair okay I don't think it's okay now I don't think your hairlines okay nobody say anything about that I'll be right back you guys using this chair gotta go right now oh this is fantastic I need you to back off I swear to God I will put you in jail you understand me please oh my god sir what's up sir what's up because I'm trying to see what subjective like sexual come on but I'm over it sir you look like the white from the office fraggers maybe here what happened is the white from the office tried to kiss me then he handed me this condom and I don't know what the hell is going on okay what's your name huh what's your name
darknessall right dude just tell me what's going on huh
darknesstell me what's going on I walked in here is him right here you see him do you see him I see ya okay I walked in here he said how you doing sweet stuff I was like sir come on I'm just hearing about some makeup for my wife and then he tried to give me a kiss I'm not gonna lie I gave him a kiss bag it was pretty dope it was cool it was a good experience my nipples got hard but then he handed me this condom then he said oh I love Trojans you two sit down don't you bond up you're certain why don't you leave our table button up your goddamn shirt John and leave our table oh my god we'll see each other bar oh so you don't get in trouble dr.
Mario I just need you to go just go somewhere there's no more yourself okay Oh table sir Sam Smith I just need you to go over chords from your music that's a bit it's been a couple there's been like a couple months huh that was a clever joke we're taught you that hang on that look I need you to stop touching me it's not touching me I need you to so what what what possesses you to make you want to touch me I understand because you like the way I look no no no wait wait wait wait wait you like the way you like the way I look don't you don't you know laughs don't I know there's just too many of you Liam Liam stop Liam Kevin I need you to go I need you to stop spitting on me no no stop spitting on darkness darkness darkness had darkness the police are coming go back the duck dynasty well who are you miss what is your song doctor please definitely wise you know so pointy that's the question of the night off oh don't talk to him like that Oh darkness in there it's all a darkness darkness pitch darkness darkness dick huh huh good night laurence fishburne I need you to calm down good night leave Uncle Phil from fresh prints I need you to calm down give me County over here I got one right now that needs to be in custody get out of my building I need you to calm down staring building sir please calm down are you on drugs only for me please there's too much tension sir your belt is about to pop don't worry about my belt sir your belt is about to pop Uncle Phil Uncle Phil huh look look you need the relax you know how to relax just relax put it on just put it on please okay come on walk with me you want hon you want some pop are you religious something wrong with you so do you want some pop rocks yeah I want some pop rocks here here what are you doing you giving them to me right what are you going to do I'm going to take you into custody is what I'm gonna do you look like a chocolate egg I am a chocolate egg I need you to calm down okay you're you're shaped like dr.
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plainpotatoess compilation new may 2019 best of plainpotatoess over 50 minutes of darkness...
Eggman I am dr. Eggman huh I am and I'm Sonic okay so if you don't put your goddamn Samsung Juke down come here put it on your strap there you go so I need you to calm down Charles Barkley stop Barkley please Barkley Seth Rogen's step off the Segway please darkness darkness Uncle Phil darkness have you ever heard of the band imagine dragons imagine dragging these nuts across your face oh my god I want please don't cry man it's okay yeah I see you got the crime I'm sorry you're okay yeah haircut is okay I've seen you do this to other people in the neighborhood you're you're through with it no I'm not you are I'm through it I'm through with those goddamn sandals that's what I'm doing it come on you come into my store and this is what you do you know you're gonna pick your side exactly on yellow Ronnie Ronnie ain't do nothing to you man I'm leaving I don't want to leave the area I want the phone off I wanted to stay whoa I'm the stay oh come on man stop being such a baby I don't like marking people all right look I thought this was my hood I'm out I want to stay I want I'm to stay what you gonna chase me um chocolate you gonna chase me little chocolate but the foot flops away I'm out cries are you gonna cry are you gonna cry what's gonna stack please stop I want you to I want you to shave I want you to shave your beard oh my god I am recording again oh he's recording you trust me well I'll just punch you in the face right now how stupid would you I'm not gonna do nothing like that baby coming do it you need a hug you know come here baby come here I want to hug you stop aah see how crazy we look I'm out I thought this was my hood Oh God leave me alone do you want to be my commercial sir gasps I would love to okay except I don't have a small dick and you do okay first of all your breath stinks I need you to brush your teeth first that's the first thing you need to do to be in my commercial okay that's the first thing oh my god yeah yeah okay where's this what is he doing okay let's go and see what the hell really so you don't wanna be my commercial remember small dicks did you just hear that mrs.
Jaffe sir sir would you like to be my commercial for men with small dicks that's a woman yes everything I know was a lie I thought this was my hood okay huh used to calm down Bill Hader I need you to calm down I need you to leave or I'm gonna call mall security and they'll escort you out of the restaurant hello sorry what's going on with you man static what's wrong your who Fair Oaks Mall securities sorry Jake it stinks and I honestly don't care about that doesn't matter you look like Michael Ealy if he just started to get dreads coach Carter sir Arnez I don't know what the hell you you're crazy yeah I already know man me and you I'm back now what's up me huh you got that you got that would you like a kiss you have no right to be with me in a room you know let me kiss no right to be with me in a room you know that because go sit down sir so who got it don't say my face get the food in your teeth so I don't really like saying we got County on the way Joshua so I need you to calm down I need you to calm I need you to come to go huh you need to go I need you to calm down do you want Lucy to buy have nothing for God man fouseytube darkness darkness okay Joshua Stan look at your eyebrows I don't care it make you look evil you look like you forever frowning why huh why why yeah because I thought this was my hair cuz you thought what I thought this was my hood H double D okay I'm not seeing the connection between you thinking this is your neighborhood for what are you listening to Brom Bo'ness you like it no it's sliding you know last thanks Sutro huh slide and bust x2 true okay you look like kill manga kill mugger if he was raised to the projects alright okay bro you broke okay okay look I'm gonna just play my own music okay now you redo the stress and you look like Donnie from Wild Thornberrys but I don't say nothing okay you gonna like this man you don't like business you'll like it look yeah hey what not well what no I'm not by the listen to no gay from no gay what do you think I got this hotel for well no you ever heard a Heartbreak Hotel well this is I'm gonna break your back Hotel darkness kill monger darkness no I cannot Chris Chris Griffin I cannot get out of here man yeah he called me Chris Griffin huh oh I think I play with my balls apartment I'm pretty stiff yeah yeah huh help me help me huh skinny Santa Claus I don't care man skinny scam scam scam you look like I need you to calm down huh somehow bro what's good carry what's wrong Jim what's wrong Jim darkness you ever see new girl you look like schmidt from new girl okay never had a friend and I just want you I thought this was my hood Schmidt do not record hi oh yeah get out why are you armed so long you look like a skinny grew from Despicable Me stop talking to me this is harassment this is harassment hey I have okay I have no sir put your goddamn iPhone se away talk to me like that again and i'll call 9-1-1 put your goddamn my iphone SE away oh you're a bad I'm not playing around I'm being recorded right now in harassed by gentleman on the streets he is recording me as we speak Wow anyway everybody will have now can you please send someone out here what is that on your collar what are you eating powdered Donuts oh god away god dammit away get a better haircut I sweat here don't you talk to me I need you to calm down everyone was on their way goddammit alright yeah darkness Jaeger darkness this is nothing but darkness you look like an Indian Gerber baby do you look like okay all right what are you okay aha what the hell is wrong with you right here please leave you need to leave and go to the nearest CVS and buy some crest your breath stinks does your wife use your head as a mirror yes or no that is racist and we don't know how is it racist she likes been known for hundreds of years that are people Iranian Persian Italian are greasy greasy all right it's not like a french fry your greasy like the this is an Harris this is under a cement darkness did you know that darkness I thought this was my hood it's it's ours it's not one person all right let's go let's go go where we call in let's go you're going way up I don't know I don't know you act like what I thought this was my hood my bed I thought this was my hood I thought okay I thought this was my hood did you back that up you want to fill me you go right in but going back right up please oh that was that was beautiful thank you appreciate it on your phone you not gonna give us that right you're getting at your phone that close if you spill on my phone I will be honored if we don't have any money for you man yeah yeah yeah can I help you with something pretty much like to see your lunch are you are you are you blind are you ha I need you to back up now okay nothing don't diss my job but don't worry we'll soon have a lot of color huh goddamnit can I enjoy my lunch can I enjoy my lunch god dammit Lloyd I'm trying to enjoy my lunch but you guys are Jaz mad or something I'll understand what's going on are you guys gonna sing to me or something while you eat huh I'll ask you about your eating habits sir I'm just trying to enjoy my lunch but it's probably about time for you to bounce I mean I need you to calm down darkness shaggy shaggy I missed you what are you doing man you calling the cops again yep alright alright are they on their way shaggy yeah they're they're here shake you they're not here yeah I think you're really confused so I'm just gonna wait around for them so you running off again okay so shaggy is it true that you can consume a whole sandwich in one bite like in the cartoons you touch me I get to hit you you realize that if you sold me if I if I kiss you if you touch me in any way know if I kiss you just answer the question just say if you kiss me I will hit you if you touch me I'm gonna know they'll say if you kiss me so you're gonna let me kiss you so if I you man everything you got going on your life the receding hairline the man issues the pointy nose it's not changing effect you are a beautiful strong and dependent man thank you you're a strong man huh he said no you're what you're a woman unless you look just like grew from Despicable Me okay okay where are we going tonight nowhere where are you where do you go I thought this was my thought that was an ass snart that's huh honestly would fall like someone call like a specialist well you're not funny for your security officer what this guy from Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle Dulli from Malcolm in the Middle I need you to walk away okay please walk away but stop some if you think I care that the police is coming sir I told do not anyway huh you don't value your life sir I'm convinced that you don't have teeth I'm convinced okay I'm gone I thought this was my lid your ice cube in yeah your ice cube you don't need to be working here you can leave this job slow down slow down we were running this how tall are you you should be in school right now you're like in the fifth grade please call a hairdresser or something first who you want you I want you to escort me Aaron escort me out yes I am like I'm definitely three feet away from you calm down you can't tell free feed you're three feet tall calm down you're disrupting me oh my god can you get this man you're just watching this happen tell him to leave me alone who did your braids no we'll get back there later we just you like Tony Hawk huh don't you leave me alone huh if a breeze blew in here right now I think you would break in half you need that you know just eat a couple eat some noodles or something gain some weight huh stop it stop stop Oh who's your dentist that's who's really ruining this night well then you are free to go some more yeah yeah yeah sure sure why do you keep talking to me man I was just letting her know if a breeze came in here she was blaming him she's she's as thin as a snake she's a branch a twig that's insult if my mom said go grab a twig so I could beat us with it I will go grab her so let me understand this you insulted me because of my breath you're insulting her what's the point what is your game here recording everybody and trying to gauge their insults here your reactions to your insults is that what your game is I don't know what I'm just a dentist and I'm trying to fix your teeth okay so you don't want to engage that question at all you're gonna be evasive and you're going to avoid that question because someone's calling you out for being a bully in the middle of a restaurant Wow for someone who's very observant you overlook brushing your teeth this morning we just keep going back to square one what the hell is going on Colgate Colgate Crest Aquafresh Armand Hammer anything I don't even know what the hell you're talking about ma'am right now okay okay come on calm down please I won't I know you have a good day Tony up have a good day sir Stacy I clears throat before you speak to me dude I'm going to punch you if you don't get out of my face Stacy I promise you it's not gonna hurt you're the size of a grown baby dude get the out of my face oh my god Stacy you're harassing me get out of my face oh my god where are the most cygnus you are harassing me and everybody in this restaurant please leave me alone you go you know Sasol point you almost cracked my phone screen stop stop you look like you look like the zombies off of I am Legend why don't you just step the out of the business I'm touching my god now look what you did the man from transporter you just kicked my ass like the man for transporter and you look like him okay why are you here huh why are you here why is your hairline not there oh before I leave I just want everyone to know I thought this was my hood right yeah all of it something what you got I got you it's okay if I'll call you dad and I think that from a from a mental health standpoint I think he's not completely thinking clearly okay darkness when he's late that's my sense of it what are you saying because if not I'm concerned he's gonna get hurt not that he's gonna hurt anybody but someone's gonna take him out oh yes no you gotta stop this you got to stop this so do you wanna hurt yourself don't do this to me man Wow amazing yeah what did you ask me do you want to hurt yourself or anybody else darkness huh darkness darkness what's that mean what darkness sir okay what's up with you man when I die I want to be taxidermied I think you've got the Kanye West Nile virus that's what I think what are you trying to say you need do you have any clam shells I do not and you need I want to glue two clam shells to my pinky and my thumb like this there we go I'm thirsty Linda don't touch me okay Jane Lynch Jane Lynch I need you not to touch me okay do you shop only at thrift stores what's up how much let's go you guys ready are you ready man get out of my face you don't like Beyonce that's fine man that's cool no I don't like you what are you more of a Gwen Stefani man hey D here's Beyonce playing and you're really tight right now I'm not my mom told me if you just want to loosen up you know just to Beyonce because look man look I'm not worried about no cops man okay it's Friday Beyonce's on farriner I'm not worried about that do you guys not hear the Beyonce do not hear the goddess thinking herself crazy person that's all I hear okay I hear the sound of your beard coming against your lips excuse me keeps on forgetting what he wrote down the whole crowd goes so loud he opens his mouth but the bird he's Chokin now yes sir what my idea no no sir I have your name darkness camera can you get that you get that horrific cigarette oh I'm dying slowly look out my face okay take the soap I'm just trying to help you out Lutron yeah this up for me before I go to jail it's more in my face arrest me recording for no reason calling me Cameron Cameron you get the off the phone how about that please don't don't blow it in my face get the out my face you spit on me if I use kissing me give up me why were you so hostile why are you in my face oh my god Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy put some shoes on Jimmy put some shoes on put some shoes on Jimmy Jimmy the cops are on their way and he'll help you'll be arrested he'll have it hidden what don't cry it's okay he's just step away listen no Wanda Sykes she said step away I I thought this was my hood what hood but you own bomber City darkness wait you now you can carry the race card darkness let's go guys let's go honey boo boo stop following me please go away ugly what ugly black guy go away okay I promise you it's like eight and a half inches oh you know what then say that when they have tiny dicks no I promise I don't have a small penis you do I could show you want to see sure go right ahead pull it out yeah weird yes you do they have a small penis because they can't get laid properly so they go do stupid like this I can't get laid properly what did he leave me sad please are you saying right now you have a small dick so you can't real well you don't you don't satisfy people you salivate a lot that's why you spit on me four times picks like a lot of dick it even sucking dick lately put the knife away you just spit on me now you gonna stab me in my life excuse me you could just walk away you're following me how am i threatening your life don't spit on me don't you bitterly just try to spit on me now you're crazy not I knew you were crazy by the way you put your lipstick on but now this just proves it just put the knife away what are you Batman what the are you doing you just threatened my life you have to get off this whole entire shopping this whole miss miss you are assistant manager sprint you do not own this shopping center but I have the right to kick you off the premises I have the right to call a doctor you just spit on me and you have herpes you just spit on me and you're super ugly but there's like any sense is your problem why don't you just give me herpes I didn't give you herpes what is that on your lip the herp I get some gas and water please okay hurry up I'm thirsty go go go go go go go can I enjoy my lunch can I eat my lunch I can't eat huh no I have my lunch I have my lunch in my pocket okay I'm gonna take a seat I can't sit down you so I just filled these up last night you don't want some okay hungry no one in here is angry everybody came to a restaurant but they don't want anything to eat what's going on darkness go away darkness hello Dennis Dennis how are you doing man how are you doing I the baddest it's sad because I had the curve room the same day I said the foot I the baddest is saying cuz I had to curve him the same day sir I wouldn't be mad if I got treated the same way so just treat me the same way then I need you to calm down a little dude you may not Dennis Dennis calm down with the umbrella man hasn't rained in like four days and you have an umbrella for y4y sir for why do you have an umbrella Dennis Dennis calm down you're making a scene everybody's looking at us and we look crazy together Dennis said calmly there's no more time Dennis I need you to calm down what the hell is that haircut oh sweet no no haircut on your head I don't know wait look what you doing everybody's looking I know her sweaters very ugly everyone it's okay she didn't mean to do it he's a little drunk darkness what's your deal what's your deal why is your chin further back than the rest of your face huh why are you being an why am I being an yeah you are what you eat sir firstly I'm a woman is that like huh firstly I'm a woman secondly secondly you come over here and you just go hey why is your chin her that like further back from the rest of your face you're making a comment about my parents of someone you just frickin met and you want to sit there and talk about how I am what I eat honey no okay first of all you have if you have something green on this side of your mouth are you gonna did what you just got it off though skate away skate your problems away I know you're trying to run away but you can't run away from your own chin I thought this was my hood what's up hon calm down get out can I come in please listen Napoleon Dynamite I need you to just let me get in here my mom always told me if a guy has bones on his even stay away from her sounds great dude exactly sounds like you should stay away from me let's get your goddamn dirty paws off me are you biting your lip you want biting your lip you're doing it right now Dartmouth have a good night men guard darkness I think bumblebees on his way to get me isn't it probably okay Charlotte Buffy you can't come inside to tell him that he's Rafi Stephen get the you're spitting on everyone over here this guy has so much spit on his bald head dude don't converse - you're not allowed upsets go down you need to calm down why are you so upset it'll hurt you being mad at me isn't gonna bring your wife back and it's not gonna bring your hairline back even have no life no life do you have no no life you look like Steve Wilkos teach me a lesson Steve you're not gonna get me down to your level dude I'm a professional person what do you drive you're a professional huh a car I drop a car to and from your mom's house all the time okay that's Kurt I nice on Altima or 2008 it's a little old but it's fun don't step up go down go down go down go down why do you do this why cuz you guys have no life right I have no life nope I do your your fourth chick you are full of you guys are both funny huh why do you guys look so greasy your shiny your shiny your greasy what's up no I'm not greasy no I'm not I'm ashy sir he say ashy there you I like you and I'm confused why so you have a lot of crumbs on your shirt yeah do you eat like that do you need a bib nobody wants to watch your stupid ass video get the out of our table darkness yeah darkness Steven dark dude bro what huh away foot why are you so hairy I don't like oh well you like a well-fed hoovering black black get away because God do you see what's happening okay I understand understand why are your jeans so huge that's the problem because I'm overweight cuz I like tille but your jeans are too big for you are they yes get off get off of me get you stop eating I don't have any food for you yeah stop stop it I thought this was my hood you want a kiss or something was gone through kiss you I will kiss you now hahahaha you have something on your chin you're gonna get like 20 food on your chin food on your chin yeah dude yeah dude whoa whoa get off of me Gustavo what is wrong with you what's wrong with me I'm trying all right huh Jamal are you okay darkness do you think I put up your ass if you don't get out of the store right now my ass you mad at me because Mike just ask you to leave my store cause it's private property how about that huh I'm asking you leave my store it's private property understand you need to calm down okay big hero six get out of here right now if you are huge are you gonna hit me with that stick no no I'm asking you to get out my store it's private property I need you to calm down okay okay you had a long do it yet along no I know you're dead smart you're so clever I'm smart enough to know that your hairline is receding yeah okay I must find enough for that so I'm just confused go ahead I know you don't how to work you grant oh oh let's go thanks for what be arrested to be arrested yep you're gonna be arrested you look like a Sully yeah the monsters even look like a boy is about going to jail yeah okay oh it sounds like it's not working then yeah your private smells like cigarettes and mattresses what the hell is going on okay all right take another picture okay why are you shaking I'm not at 3757 I have a man who refused oh my god hey hey he's about 6 - he's a very big wiseass he's threatening you for the last 20