How To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Okay, how do you let go of

what

no

longer

serves

you? Your energy and intuition are always there to tell you when it is time to let something go. Don't waste a year of your life spinning around that negative energy. Vortex that your body knows, your spirit knows it. Alright, everyone get ready, today on the Mel Robbins Podcast, I'm taking you on a hike with me. This is the topic that hits me today because it is a cool fall day. This is

what

the trees around us look like here in southern Vermont. They are all starting to change color and drop their leaves and along the way all kinds of leaves have fallen to the ground and it makes me think about the fact that there is a big issue that we don't talk about enough when it comes to change. or improving your life is what you need to let it wither and fall and fall to the ground in your life so you can change and that's what we're going to talk about today, letting things go to make room for new things in the spring.

I may have to continue this episode in the studio since I'm huffing and puffing so much on this path that you won't be able to hear the words coming out of my mouth. Well, first I want to thank you for your patience with me because I know that I promise to take you on the hike, not just start a hike with you, but clearly I have a lot of things that I want to unpack here about letting go and so, I have a lot of things that I need too. do to get in better shape so I can talk and walk at the same time, you actually know what I'm going to commit to right now: stop hurting myself.

Good job Mel Robbins for coming out. Good job for trying an episode where I would be walking and talking and recording it on my iPhone and good job for having my presence to realize that it would be a better listening experience for you and a better experience for me to discuss this really important topic of Letting go How do you let go of what no

longer

serves

you? I have to say, I get questions about this all the time. In fact, I got this question yesterday from Cheryl Mel. How do you know that what you hold on to is destined to be let go? go instead of fighting even harder for it.

Do you have any ideas or perhaps any tools to help figure it out or encourage the universe to bring that Epiphany? In other words, how do I know when it's time to let go? Well everyone, get ready because this is one of the most important aspects of creating a better life and being a happier person. We spend a lot of time focusing on what we need to do, what we need to add, and what we need to change. Have you stopped to consider that this is the best place? to make a change is to let go of things, projects, thought patterns, relationship patterns that no longer serve you and the big question is how do you know when it's time and not only do I have a fantastic visual metaphor to help you understand this. concept, but I also have a very interesting way of approaching this.

We're going to talk about the fact that your energy and your intuition are always there to tell you when it's time to let something go because it's no longer serving you, so get into it. In this topic I want to introduce the metaphor and it was the metaphor that I had started talking about while we were together on that walk. I mean, here in the United States, anyway, it's fall, it's the fall season, we're all pumpkins, we're in harvest. It's time for cornstalks everywhere, we're getting ready for orange and red and all those amazing colors and carrot cake.

I mean, I love this time of year and I realize it may not be fall where you are if you know some of our global fan base around the world, it's summer, don't get hung up on the fact that I'm wearing the autumn as a metaphor. I personally believe that every time you listen to this episode, even if it will be two years from now, You are listening to this right now because you should listen to it right now because there is a new season that must begin in your life and that will require you to let go of the things that you already they don't work for you so let's talk about metaphor what happens to a tree when the fall season comes and researching this for you because you know it's one thing to just tell you a metaphor and it's another thing to actually understand it and explain it.

This was fascinating. I know we learned about her. chlorophyll and autumn and the life cycle of a tree in elementary school, but I had forgotten most of this stuff, so check this out. The reason a tree has leaves is because the tree needs energy to survive, it needs energy to grow and the leaves have a For a very particular purpose, the leaves are there to take sunlight and convert it into energy so that the tree can grow and, in return, the tree returns a ton of water to these leaves. I'm talking about this process of the leaves sprouting and the leaves growing and the leaves taking their surface and converting the sun into energy so that the tree can go from a tiny acorn to a mighty oak, which takes a lot of energy and there is a nature reciprocal in the relationship that a tree has with its leaves because the tree has to bring in tons of water to fuel this energy exchange and this is the reason why the leaves fall off a tree in the middle of winter, at least here in the United States, when the ground is frozen and the layer of snow is on top, there is no water for the tree and if those leaves with their large flat surface remained on that tree during the winter, the leaves would kill the tree and suck all the water out of it. what do you need.

One interesting thing about autumn is that you know, we watch the leaves turn and we watch the leaves softly fall and fall to the ground it's a beautiful thing that happens, a natural thing that happens, it's so beautiful, it's just wonderful, isn't it that delicious? ? Do you want to know what this is almost like? a violent act where the trees are pushing those leaves off their branches, the tree is basically leaving you, uh, if you're hanging around my branches during the winter, you're going to suck all my energy. I'm going to die if you don't. Don't get off my damn branches, the tree literally pushes them, expels them and takes them out of its life.

Why, since there is no reciprocal exchange of energy that can occur during winter, does the tree have to conserve its energy to survive and beyond the winter season? the leaves are gone and the tree can conserve its energy instead of giving it all to that leaf while it is killed. I bet you have areas of your life where you devote all your energy to a relationship, your job, or some stupid thought pattern. what you've been doing for years makes you feel bad you put all your energy into One Direction you get nothing in return that's what fall is to a tree The fall season to a tree is thank you so much for the spring and summer you were Amazing this relationship between the leaf and the tree was reciprocal You have energy for me I got energy from you and then suddenly boom this is a one way thing and if I hold on to these leaves I'm going to die.

I'm going to die and I'm going to bring that metaphor and that visual and that that that documented point of view that this is not just a lovely thing where the leaves, you know, change color and it's so beautiful and now we're all drinking a pumpkin. Spice Latte That's not what it is This is the survival of a tree It's about energy It's about the fact that in order to grow to be strong and be your best self you have to surround yourself with relationships, work, projects, friendships and habits where there's an equal reciprocal exchange that you give and you receive and you give back and that's where we're going to start when it comes to how I want you to think about this concept of letting go, we're going to talk about how to identify that moment where there's no longer that exchange of energy, that there is something that has become a complete energy suck and when you realize whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship or a job or some habit or a place that you live, when you realize that something is has become an energy suck for you, that's when you know it's time to let go, that's when you know, like that tree, that you better kick that thing out of your branches because it's clinging to you or you're clinging to it. him and if he keeps doing that, what will happen and have you had this happen in your life where you've held on to things for too long, where you refuse to let them go and what did it do, it stinks you, it leaves you dry, It sucks, you drive your energy.

It sucked your momentum Your vitality made you feel exhausted instead of those leaves or that project or that person withering and falling to the ground so you could regain your strength so you could enter a new season of your life, no, no, you gave it your all to them, you put up with it for too long, guess what's not going to happen anymore because what are we going to talk about when we get back from a few brief words from our sponsors that I want you to hear. Because, by the way, our sponsors. they are the reason I can appear twice a week there is a reciprocal exchange between us they literally pay for this show and that is why I am so excited about it so we can publish it around the world for free so I want give back an exchange of energy to the amazing sponsors of the Mel Robbins

podcast

.

Listen, we'll be right back because now we're going to talk in detail about what I mean by reciprocal exchange of energy and where are the important areas of your life where you tend to start having this as a one-way thing where they give you all the energy and You're the one that's exhausted and dry, it's okay, I'll be right back, hold on to my branches, we're not done yet, it's very green right now, which means these trees are holding on to chlorophyll, that chlorophyll is coming out, but literally in a matter of days the green will leave those leaves. yellow orange red brown purple is going to take over and those leaves will have served their purpose and suddenly they will wither and fall to the ground.

That was Mel Robbins, your friend who has a degree in botany. It is not a joke. I want to touch on one point of what I said. on the path before entering into this energy exchange and how you are going to use your intuition and the fact that you deserve to have an exchange that is reciprocal in nature to what you give and what you receive in return. I want to talk about one. What I said is that the leaves served their purpose when the leaves are green, the leaves bring energy to the tree and the tree gives back energy in the form of water.

The reason the leaves begin to change is because the tree begins to pull. When the tree begins to withdraw the amount of water it sends to the leaves, the tree begins to let go, the leaf no longer serves any purpose and it is important to say this because very often we have trouble letting go of friendships. of work habits for me where I lived and raised our kids for 26 years, we recently sold our house and oh my gosh, I kept it for probably two years longer than I needed to because I had trouble letting it go, but what I want you to do.

What you focus on is that when something has a purpose in your life, that is an amazing thing and it is also normal for something to have a purpose for a specific period of time and no longer have a purpose in your life now or in life what do you want. you believe and when you honor that a friendship served a purpose and a very good example of this is you know how every time you have a new job or you move apartments or you move to a city, suddenly the patterns and your your life changes and your friendships change and your friendships change because now you're doing different things and meeting different people, that doesn't mean you're no longer friends with the people you used to hang out with at work. but the friends you had at work served a particularly important purpose during that period of your life there was an equal exchange back and forth what you gave you got that's why you had lunch with the same people every day you enjoyed them and they enjoyed you, but now that you live somewhere else, putting a lot of energy back into that relationship when you're not going to get it back doesn't serve the same purpose and that's why when you let go of friendships, you should let them go too.

Stop judging yourself like there's something wrong with me and I'm doing something wrong and I have some, of course, you have friends, your life patterns have changed, you're putting energy somewhere else because you're getting energy from somewhere. Otherwise, this is the natural cycle of life, it's the natural cycle of relationships and I find that when you really honor the things that you need to let go of, whether it's a job you no longer like or a house you already have. you don't want to live or a friendship that you don't see very often or maybe it's some habit maybe it's some habit that you used to have So when you say something has a purpose, you actually honor, you honor the energy that used to give you, you honor the fact that you put something into it and also honor the fact that not everything will be in your life forever and that's what allows you to let go.

You start to let go when you realize that holding on to things is holding you back, and holding on to things in particular. to the blame and judgment that you apply on yourself that you should but I feel guilty but this but that definitely stops you from creating a new life and creating space for something new to happen and look, that's one of the reasons why you have to learn to let go because when you continue to pour your energy into things that no longer give you energy back, it will kill you, it will kill your happiness, it will kill your vitality, it will destroy your motivation, it will make you feel. exhausted, it makes you feel like you're last on your list and that's reason number one and number tworeason why you have to do it.Starting to let go of what doesn't serve you is because as long as you hold on to old things you have no time, no space, no motivation to create something new, and you know it, so now let's move on to how do it.

I use this exchange of energy and my intuition to detect the things that are draining me and let them go, push them off the branches, get them out of my life, thank them for their purpose and their service, but then get the hell out of here because you need it. making room for something new, better and energizing, doesn't that sound good? Yeah, you better believe that sounds good, so let's do it and one of the reasons I want you to really focus on energy is because your energy doesn't lie. I mean, just for a second with me, just take a second, whether you're walking the dog or you're driving in your car or you're working from home or you're busy doing a bunch of things that I want you to do. just stop for a second and I want you to evaluate right now what your energy level is think about the fuel gauge of a car empty to completely empty and a human being it means that you feel exhausted you feel drained you feel examined you feel complete life It's basically pouring energy into everything else in a human being it basically means that you are full of energy, you are excited, you feel that the things that you are investing in your habits, your routine, the people that you are surrounded by, the projects that we are working on It may be difficult, but it is also putting energy back into your life.

Your energy never lies. We are energetic human beings and I know that sounds great. We can get into Neuroscience on a totally different episode, but let me. Prove it: Have you ever walked into a coffee shop and the person behind the counter is having the worst day ever? They are super grumpy. It doesn't matter how big your smile is. It doesn't matter how nice you are. They are like that energy really impacts you, just like your positive energy can impact another person. The energy is contagious and most importantly, when you hang out with your friend Mel Robbins, I will teach you to start paying attention to him and I will help you.

I'm going to teach you to trust it because energy is also linked to intuition and we're going to get into this tool of how to evaluate is something that gives me positive energy is something that gives me negative energy is this a relationship that is one way or another Is this something that gives me something in return? That's the tool we're going to talk about today and what happens if the next morning you walk into the coffee shop and you're having a bad day like one of your pets is really sick? and it really puts you off, you feel very depressed and the person behind the counter is just the nicest person on the planet and looks you in the eye and gives you a big smile and is very cheerful and congratulates you. you and they might even ask you hey how are you you're like I'm not doing so well you know oh I'm so sorry the coffee is on me how are you feeling?

You feel better because they poured their positive energy into you and all. it lifts your energy it's contagious it also always tells the truth it's like a compass in fact a compass works with magnetic energy that's why a compass always points to True North never lies your energy doesn't lie either that's why you feel a little out of it place certain people that's why if someone texts you and you don't like it, you are who you are, but if you like the person you are, oh yeah, cool energy never lies so let's talk about how we're going to use, okay?

I am going to break down the theme of letting go into two different types of situations and in each one I am going to explain how to use the energy and pay attention to the energy within the two of you, the one you are giving and the one you are feeling. and that you're getting it back so you know when it's time to let go, so situation number one is super easy and this usually happens when it has to do with things or projects or a job or someone really getting involved in something toxic. Behavior, okay, this is the easy part, this is when you have an avalanche of negativity around something and I'm going to give you a bunch of examples of this, okay, so we all have a pair of pants that we hold on to. from above. at school or before we get pregnant or when we can't fit in when you look at those things, you remember that you can't fit in them when you try to move them, especially after a shower, you feel terrible about yourself that's something that's an example, you should stop Put aside that job that you go into where you have a pit in your stomach and you complain about it to your friends and you spend all this energy on why you hate it and you resist it.

You need to find another job, that friend who does nothing but gossip and roll his eyes and drag you down and is literally such a bad influence on you that you need to let him go and what does that mean? Well, that depends on whether you donate the pants. You're probably starting to redirect your energy from complaining about your job to directing your energy toward looking for a new one. I mean, imagine, that's the other thing about this. Do you know how much energy, time and effort you waste focusing on Resistance and complaining if you were?

Just stop complaining for a day about something that gives you negative energy like your job or your parents or your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your roommates. What if you stopped complaining because that's negative energy spilling over and directed that same effort towards something positive like fixing it or letting it go and creating something new that makes you feel good. I relate to that because I think I've spent a lot of my life pouring negative energy into things I didn't really like instead of realizing I needed to. complete this, I needed to let this go, the roommate served a purpose two years ago, it doesn't fit right now and that's okay, it's time to kick the leaves off the branches, you know what I'm saying, it's time to save me myself instead of pouring everything into either another person or my energy to be upset, frustrated and disappointed, so when you have things that are surely draining your energy 100 percent or you find yourself complaining, complaining, resisting, let it go and you can Do it in two ways, obviously, donate, throw away, Delete is One and the other is to take all that negative resistance that you feel in yourself and pour it into something positive if you can't leave your job, for example, because you need to pay the bills without a problem, in instead of complaining, instead of feeling resistant to spending. 30 minutes every morning before you go to work looking for a new one or spend 30 minutes every morning investing positive energy into a hobby or project or side activity that gives you positive energy and when you start doing it you start to rise up because now you are getting this reciprocal exchange by pouring energy and attention into something new and positive and that will elevate you and, by the way, that will also change your experience of that current job that you hate.

I know because I've done it. I remember coming out of uh, let's see how old I was. He was 30 years old. She was pregnant with our daughter who is now 23. And we had moved to Boston from New York City, where she had been a public defender and I love it. that job worked for legal aid and that's why we moved to Boston. I am not licensed to practice in Massachusetts, so I was not able to work for the public defender's office. I have to accept the bar but I have bills to pay so I get a Working at this huge law firm and working at a law firm is the exact opposite of being a public defender when I worked in New York City to receive legal assistance.

He was in court five days a week from eight in the morning until five. In the evening hours that was my job I was on my feet I was, you know, negotiating plea deals I was talking to Witnesses, police officers, judges and professionals like that going to clients, going to Rikers, all that stuff when you get a job At a big law firm, you literally go to a skyscraper, sit in an office and write all day. It was the exact opposite of what I'm meant to do. The moment I got that job I knew I was going to hate it and for about a year I would get on the commuter train and ride for 45 minutes and then I would get off the commuter train and make noises, noises, noises, towards the building and then I would get on the elevator and then take the elevator to the 23rd floor and that clomp clom clom clomp.

I would go to my office and close the door and from the moment I woke up each morning I felt exhausted the closer I got to that office as I walked down the road to Boston, the more resistance I felt. I didn't get anything in return for that job. Yes, I got a paycheck and I needed it, so it served a purpose, but I wasn't getting anything of value in return because when I looked at the partners at the law firm. I knew very well that this was not the life I wanted. I knew this wasn't right for me, but I'll tell you, I made the mistake everyone makes instead of acknowledging that this is how I was feeling instead of channeling all that angst. and resistance and uh to look for something else.

I sat there miserable and I felt exhausted and I felt terrible and I'm going to confess it to you. I didn't even follow the advice, so you know what happened to me. I got pregnant and I had a baby and I went on maternity leave and when I was on maternity leave that's when, with the distance from him, I thought, "Okay, there's no way I'm going back there. No way, now that I'm I've escaped, there's no way I'm coming back." Going back and we've all had and I'm far from that like energy sucking I don't want to go back to that energy sucking vampire thing what the hell but when you're in it that Vortex of negativity can keep you spinning and stuck you convince yourself but I need the money but I can't do this, but then you are so exhausted by your complaining and pouring energy into the wrong that you are stuck, stagnant, that was me, so I got pregnant, I'm going on maternity leave, holy cow.

I am free from the Vortex of negativity. They let me go but now I have to go back and my husband Chris says look, I know, oh, you don't want to go back, but here's the problem, Mel, we have a mortgage and we have a baby and you will go crazy being home, like this that this is what you need to find a job. Your maternity leave ends in exactly three months, which means you have 12 weeks to find a job and you have to earn sixty thousand dollars a year. year, that's it and you know what's interesting, if you give a human being a problem to solve, we get pretty creative and I'll tell you that the night before my maternity leave, not only did I get a job, it wasn't because 60 thousand dollars, but it was for 55 but that was enough and I went in the next day and let it go.

What are you saying? I guess I left him, but you know they didn't let me go. I left it, but what I'm trying to say is don't do it. make the mistake that 30 year old Mel Robbins made, don't do that to yourself, don't waste a year of your life spinning in that vortex of negative energy, your body knows it, your spirit knows it, get rid of those pants, pushes that project to a side that no longer feels inspired to continue working. Let it go because it is sucking your vitality and I just want to remind you that we are talking about reciprocal exchange of energy, that's why these situations of the pants that don't fit and the friend who Engage in toxic behavior or at work that leaves your soul dry. .

There is nothing you receive in return. Nothing in fact, what you get in return is more negativity. Those genes in your closet make you feel bad about yourself, they bring you negativity. energy that job that you complain about and that you go about day after day convincing yourself that you can't leave it that you can't find something is bringing negative energy into your life and that's why these situations are very easy to detect because there is no reciprocal value to the relationship or pants or the project period now what I want to talk about is the more complicated situations, those situations where it is not clear where you feel guilty, where maybe you are taking care of an agent parent or a child who is struggling with problems mental. health things and they're getting really drained or maybe you're really struggling with friendships or relationships because you have old patterns of behavior that you don't realize are interfering with this free-flowing reciprocal give and take that really brings about amazing things. to your life. life, so when we come back, that's what we're going to talk about because this notion that I'm teaching you of Letting Go and energy is not complicated at all, but life doesn't work that way, life can get really complicated and therefore , when we come back, that's what we're going to delve into next.

Hello, welcome back. I want to recap everything we've covered because you know there's no one left behind here at the Mel Robbins

podcast

, so let's talk about what we've already done. covered, okay, number one, we've talked about the fact that in order to be a happier person and create the life you deserve, you have to learn to let go of the things that no longer serve you. Number two, you have learned that letting go is a natural and important part of your life cycle, whether you need to let go of friendships, a job, a place you live, habits, or the group of friends you are with.that you relate.

Letting go allows you to create space for New Growth, New Seasons. new chapters, new adventures and it is only through that growth and those new things that you allow yourself to experience that you will reach your full potential and unlock the Magic in your life, so letting go is not a bad thing, it is truly a good thing. it's a great skill inIn fact, you know, I notice that in the DMS a lot of you go, you know? But am I not a deserter if I quit? No winner quits all the time. In fact, I think it's a waste to hold on to things that no longer serve you.

One aspect of being a winner is knowing where to put your attention and knowing when something needs to end, which is why absolute winners quit all the time because when you quit or say no to something right now, that's actually a yes to something else. and when I mark letting go is not a no no a breakup is not a negative thing but letting go is letting something else open up in your life letting go is a beginning letting go is about the possibility letting go is about the magic that is ahead is about the future and so letting go is very important and I want you to accept it.

The third thing we talked about is that you have a natural intelligence within you and that may sound fantastic, this is science and we are going to unravel this all the time. because I'm going to keep coming back to the fact that you have instincts, you have hard wiring, your instinct is trying to tell you something and one of the quickest ways to read that natural intelligence is to pay attention to your energy, have you felt what I'm talking about. , you know, when things go wrong, you know, when you feel exhausted, you know, when you naturally click with someone, that's data that matters because it's data that helps you make the changes, the small changes that improve your life, the The fourth thing you have clearly learned is that the best things in life are reciprocal, even volunteering, volunteering is a reciprocal act, you want to know why when you volunteer and you offer your time, you offer your energy, you donate money, you always get something back. in return, you don't feel this sense of meaning you feel connected to something bigger and more important than your daily struggles, that is a reciprocal exchange of energy, you donate money, you volunteer your time, effort and resources, you get something invaluable in return, that It's reciprocal, so it adds meaning, the best reciprocal friendships that you invest in, they return the same with your romantic relationships and all you need to do is think about that person you chased and are constantly chasing if I message them. of text with all the energy. going to them and yes, maybe you got the orgasm back, but mostly you got negativity because you're constantly insecure, constantly worried, no idea where you were, always stressed about it, thinking about it, distracted by it, that's not a reciprocal relationship , it's an obsession that's not healthy for you so there are things in life that are very difficult and require a lot of energy things that I hate doing things like exercise I hate exercising I hate getting out of bed, but once I overcome that resistance , you already learned all this in the episode called motivation is garbage once you get the activation energy and you do what happens after you exercise you get a reciprocal return of positive energy you feel very good about yourself the same goes for my husband who Not drinking well now requires a lot of effort at least in the beginning and it was very difficult because I had been drinking for a long time, but although it is difficult, it is worth it, because there is a reciprocal return and you start to feel so good. about yourself you sleep better at night you have clarity you have pride you are aligned with your values ​​and that values ​​word is really important because when it becomes even more nuanced your values ​​is how you are going to create a return of energy in really difficult situations, so I can give you two examples.

Any of you who are caring for an elderly parent know how difficult it is. Any of you who have a child or a partner who is struggling with mental health issues know how difficult it is. meaning, you also know that you are investing your energy into taking care of this person and it can be very exhausting because the person who is sick or the person who is struggling usually does not return what you are investing and it can also be physically. demanding because you work all the time and you also do this at night and that's why you're tired, it's a fact, so how do you create this energy exchange in those situations?

The secret is that values ​​leverage your values ​​to create positive things. recover energy and help you overcome the stress of everyday life that is temporary because the truth is that if you take advantage of your values ​​it makes you feel like an incredible human being, knowing that you are there for your mother makes you feel like a good person who knows that You are a compassionate caregiver who is helping your child or your partner through a really difficult chapter. When you start to feel burned out, remember to look up, lift your gaze and look to the future and be proud of yourself for taking action.

Aligned with the type of person you know you are, even though it is difficult, this is how you create a return of positive energy for yourself in those situations where someone does not have the energy to return it or the situation itself is very physically demanding. I'll give you another example. I have a friend who is going through a tough time and has been going through it for a long time and I continue to invest in this friendship even though I don't get much in return why the reason is that I get a long time ago knowing that if I were In this situation I would like a friend of mine to stay close to me and that is what drives me, what creates that exchange of energy and that is why you have within you the ability to do things that feel difficult, like exercise. o stop drinking o stay sober o change your habits o make cold calls you can do those things that seem difficult to you and believe me, you will feel proud of yourself, so they pay back the investment of effort and you can do things that are exhausting and I promise you that they will come back to you with energy because it makes you feel good about yourself and I bet you can think of four or five things that you are doing right now that are difficult and that you are not even giving You should be proud of yourself because you are a good person, you keep showing up and that's something you should celebrate, it's something you should feel energized about and in those times when it gets really hard, remember that too.

It will happen that what goes up also comes down, like when you walk along a path in a mountain, that this is a season of your life and clinging to what does not serve you will exhaust you, it will kill you. eliminate your happiness, but find ways to regain energy in those situations that are aligned with your values ​​and what you want is a power move. Now, in closing, there are two rules that I want you to start practicing right now because these are the two big ones. Energy consumers, it's okay and you can start today Energy consumer number one, every time you complain, that's right, complaining to yourself is a complete period of energy drain.

We were heading here to the studio. There was a lot of traffic. We arrived late. I could feel the negative wave of stress coming I could feel the exhaustion the exhaustion coming I could feel it all happening I could feel the thought the thought starting to fade um it's when you're sucking your own energy dry I started to complain I should have gotten up early I should have done this you should stop complaining stop complaining about that job you don't like stop complaining about the traffic stop complaining about your partner stop complaining about your weight stop complaining about the things in your life because here is the truth with a little effort and a little better attitude and a little positive energy.

You can change anything because you can take actions that change anything, so instead of complaining about a job, get to work tomorrow morning and start looking for a new one instead of complaining that you don't have one. Any friend spends some time doing activities where you will meet new people. This is very important anywhere in your life where you complain that you are your own source of energy because you are pouring negative energy into something instead of redirecting that same effort. and attitude and just something positive, so that's rule number one, don't complain. I dare you to try to go 24 hours and not complain about anything today.

It's almost impossible. I'd love to hear from you if you take this challenge seriously. I would just tag. me on social media tell me how the 24 hour rule of not complaining rule number two stop trying to control other people stop I was at an event in Las Vegas with my friend, not in Las Vegas I was at an event in Los Angeles with my friend Kathy Heller and we answered a lot of questions from the audience and this particular question from a woman. I can't stop thinking about how you stop controlling your friends, that's how you do it when you catch yourself trying to control. someone and then you let go of the desire to change them and redirect all that anguish and energy into attentive listening, supporting the creation of this reciprocal exchange of allowing them to appear exactly as they are. you recover the connection. your attempt to control someone blocks the connection. it blocks the exchange between people and here's one more thing about letting go when it comes to relationships Maybe sometimes the purpose that some people play in your life is simply to teach you how to let go, let's go back to the top of Haystack Mountain in the South.

Vermont because our friend Mel Robbins huffed and puffed and step by step made her way to the top of Haystack Mountain and there's something interesting about that, it's an example of how pushing yourself and throwing energy and doing things that can be difficult can be a struggle can make you gasp and turn bright red in the face they can make you feel like maybe you can't do this that's good that's so good because when you push yourself to do something outside of your comfort zone it's positive and what do you get in return you get all kinds of positive energy in return you feel pride you feel happy you grow a little you get a great view and talking about yourself Mel has something she wants to say To finish this off, the other amazing thing about walking and being here in the forest and climbing the top of a mountain is that once you get to the top, your entire brain distorts how painful it was to cross the bridge, walk across it.

Follow the path and go step by step to get where you wanted to go, but it shows you that with a little effort constant and an optimistic attitude, step by step, step by step, you can make anything happen, especially if you leave room for new things to come into your life. I can't wait to hear what has inspired you to let go this season. I'd love to know what tools made the biggest difference for you if there's someone in your life who is holding on tight. or holding on to things that no longer serve you, share this episode because together you have not only made this one of the number one podcasts in the entire world even before it was released, but you are also helping us impact and change lives of people. around the world every time you share these episodes or bring these tools into your life and use them to make your own experience a little happier and a little more fulfilling and that has a ripple effect on the people you care about most around you. you I believe in you and um oh our dog is barking at someone you all are foreigners hey I'm Mel thank you so much for being here if you enjoyed that video bye God please subscribe because I don't want you lose nothing, thank you.

So much to be here, we have so many amazing things coming up. Thank you very much for sending these things to your friends and family. I love you, we created these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe.