Miles Smiles and Guffaws - Miles Jupp on Would I Lie to You?

very very sad, what do you think Steven? I think he's flailing about drowning in lye soup. Thank you Miranda because it's so ridiculous. I am straying towards the truth. You think it's true. Yes, why don't you believe? Live like a lie. Believe. It's a lie, I think it's a lie, okay, thousands, did you tell the truth or were you telling a lie? I was telling a lie, what is Rodney to you? This is Rodney. He was so excited to see him driving my old car. I gave it a cheerful honk and it crashed into a hedge.

Did you sell it to him? No, I sold it to a dealer and then he bought it from the dealer. Yeah, where exactly were you when he walked in? coverage yeah, oh come on, you saw your old car, yeah, you don't know the guy who drives it, no and you think we're going to hang him because he drives our old car, yeah, and he'll be able to tell the difference between a cheerful What are you doing, crazy fool? Oh, that's our old car or you have a selection of houses. There's an aggressive one and one that you know I could do in retrospect.

It wasn't well thought out how fast you were going. Well we

would

have gone, it was a windy road so probably somewhere in the region of 3540

miles

now. Oh, is he seriously injured? No, he wasn't seriously injured, he wasn't that relaxed. Look, that's not what happened, is it? then get out of the car and well yeah, I felt really guilty, I stopped the car, got out and said and he said what are you doing? and I said, I'm so sorry, we hope what's the reason because you're us, this used to be our car, you're driving our old car, at what point did Judy say, but why do you have a cat face?

How do you behave if you see a man and he dates a girl you used to date? What we are not talking about big numbers here, well, why was our nickname? We're not telling: Rodney Miles is a distracted driver, a sit-down Heston supporter, or David's bowling partner Rodney, could you reveal your true identity? Hi, I'm Rodney and I helped. Heston broke the world system record while on vacation in South Africa. I had a two minute conversation with what I thought was my wife only to discover that a small hippo had entered the bedroom. Describe your wife as a tall, slender statue.

So did the hippopotamus. had a voice very similar to your wife's the hippopotamus moved gently not very close what the conversation was about and how it went 12 minutes I'll tell you what the conversation was about it was about me and I Talking most of it obviously contributed because where we were, in fact, was your life. I don't know, I don't know where she was, she just wasn't there. Have you ever seen your wife again, so I assume? that this is a safari setting, am I right, it was on the outskirts of Cape Town, describe the nature of the structure you were in in a building, is it on the fourth floor?

I have to get an elevator, well it's mainly bungalows the complex is a collection of bungalow buildings, mostly A-frame wooden buildings with some kind of thick roof, why is the door so big that it could enter a hippopotamus? Oh, it's a little, little hippo, it's a little hip, like a rainbow George, maybe. the hippo is that big, yes it's about the size of a labrador, well that's brilliant as to its width or length, i.e. its width seen from the back and I suspect from the front, this is worse, your wife is like the back of a hippopotamus.

The A frame bungalow has how many rooms does it have, it has two rooms at one end, there is a big part of the bathroom and then there is the rest, it is a very large open plan bedroom and it has a kind of seat for her in the middle and it has a bed at the other end, very bust bed and you could make love to a hippopotamus, that's speculation but I

would

n't bet against it, okay, we're in the bungalow, okay, I'm at the end of the bathroon. Yeah, okay, I had been shaving and then, you know, I yelled over my shoulder and after a while I realized I wasn't going to get much back here and I turned around and saw that I hadn't been complaining about my career with my wife. but for a baby hippo, how tall was this baby hippo?

Well, I only saw it from the back, but statistically I figured it would probably be three times as long as it is wide, okay, as long as this desk, no one measures or travels by width. I saw a huge snake, it was that big, so what are you going to save? If you are telling the truth. I think that, depending on the width, it is a lie. I think it was a panicked reach. based on the attempt to reach in panic. I think you're going to say it's a lie, you're going to say it's a lie, okay, Miles, are you going to tell him the truth?

We'll tell a lie, it's Miles, first of all, what is John to you? John and I were paid to fight together in a supermarket dressed as gladiators you had to dress up as a gladiator a gladiator yes, like in a roman gladiator or like in their TV show roman gladiators roman gladiator so it's a kind of sword and sandals yes, cuirasses what kind of gladiator were you? We each had a sword, the shield and we fought and this was in a supermarket yes, were you employed or was it just that we were distracted? someone else can steal pee some pants we were promoting a range of foods we were promoting a range of foods the Viva Italia delicatessen range and then if you remember when Safeways launched that, this fight and one of us would die or be defeated and the other would say: "Oh, how did you get the strength to defeat me?" Let's say from aisle 7 where I've been reveling in the mess of Italia and V Britannia Delic, so we need an answer, what do you think?

I really don't know what to say, if we're wrong, we'll look like I've believed something ridiculous. I don't think the best way to photograph the giraffe sunset is to dress up as a giraffe. I don't just see two actors. It might look good, but why if you're promoting a variety of Italian delicatessen foods? Are you going to imply that they give you a gladiator strip? Oh, he just feels something that's not what people look for in that kind of even a nice piece of pastrami or what, but he wouldn't be able to give me the strength of murder.

I do that too. Don't you think John looks like the kind of guy you'd meet at a Scottish wedding? I know it sounds strange. I believe Kate's version. You believe. I think Li, but what if it's Maya? It's been horrible. She smiled. So let's Tell me, are you going to say, she leaves the wedding, bed at night so that John, could you reveal your true identity? I'm John and I once got paid to fight Miles in a suit. John and Miles were paid to fight each other in a supermarket. While dressed as gladiators, I am Archie, the inventor.

I know how things are done. I do absolutely anything. Inventing things is fun. I'm always on the lookout for things I could do. Collect our last names from all my friends. Make live for you. grab a box and some yogurt lids hey, it's a rental car with Archie, it's never a ball, come on, let's do some more, let's build a rocket out of the squeegee box and glue pieces of trash together, they're crazy as puppets On top of a cliff, they do the honky tonk. Get in, drive, help you, get out cheaply and I'll help you.