21.02.2017 Karnevalissimo - Bauchredner Jörg Jará mit Herr Jensen und seinem Bruder Professor Jensen

Have a good night ladies and gentlemen, I have a problem, I hear voices that are only in my head, but you already know that, but I am not alone in that, by the way, I am an educated person. Respond to voices We also have a real conversation and I honestly said that you are unpleasant when you talk to yourself, but this morning I was in Cologne and I saw a lot of people walking around the city with their mobile phones. to their ears and now psychologists have discovered that every second one of them has no other line.

I talk to myself like I do and of course you don't notice it. I think it's stupid with the cell phone on me. ear. I do it completely differently. I talk about completely different things. For example, I brought one of these wipes with me, do you know these microfiber wipes? wonderfully with a thing like that no say yes nice no or no hey hey you are a little ugly in color yes but I think you should bring the G now you should do something fun and funny I don't know any jokes, no I don't know any jokes, now I'm strong, I'm weak, I tried it with tonic, yes and to no avail, it's a shame I can't open the can, I think I'll ask someone else then. which is very funny unpleasant yes a man who is very funny and is very funny oh yes then I would say that I would like to introduce him, a man who I would like to take with me on stage for you dear guests tonight Erwin Jensen Hauer haua, that is terribly loud music here Mr.

Jensen, that's carnival, that's Cologne, that's ZDF, that's a big problem, Mr. Jensen is terrible here, as loud as I am in the old Jensen, we want and everything that has rank is there and debts, it's a really quite illustrious company here and look and it seems that someone who keeps going every night asks if we want to quit or resign yes and Schnuggelchen is here again GU here Jens please everyone sit here so kindly and I'm hanging like this yes We already have that, we don't have chairs here is there something to drink here no h there is nothing Drinking on stage doesn't work either, I don't have anything to eat, I don't have nerves because that is possible, but it is possible, I can sit on the box Jens, I just wanted to do it, now we are in the right place and now I'm an old man, people are already laughing at old people here, okay, do you want some Jensen nuts please?

No nuts today, no, let's leave it, so we just want to do it now, Mr. Lord. From time to time they help me with that with their hand with their hand yes, but not with theirs with mine oh, I'm so sorry, but no. with that or the other oh where is it then that is the RL so unpleasant who is that because that is the ladybug they talk about with wipes, yes, you are a pastor, why let go of my hand, excuse me, but please, I wanted to come here now, yes, where is your second hand, my second hand, so I don't feel too nervous, Mr.

Jens, please stick your hand in something that is none of Jens' business, okay? please now we have they also have one no yes then it's there it is yes no that's gesela no his hand what hand Giesel wait a minute we have it g it's hanging back there I'm about to fall I'm sorry very carefully it stings immediately we want crazy no, no crazy now just let me do it like this now let's get it so now let me have it now Mr. Jara Mr. Jensen that not a hand oh no come on it doesn't belong to me.

I'm a friend, oh please come, Mr. Jensen, man, there are only those who are angutszeunis, yes, look here, it goes up and down, yes, up and down, and which one is a trust, yes, and the other. He doesn't say anything, day nothing, I don't feel Oh man, Jensen, why is that? Well look you put a stick here yeah and you forgot oh man well now we can do it so yeah ladies. and gentlemen, now I can pass in front of Mr. Jensen he is 80 years old 81 I am not 80 I am 81 oh I am getting older too oh yes he just turned 80 yes he could have been a son yes Mr.

Jensen and Mr. Jensen is married to a woman that is clear but it is not so clear, no That's how it is today everything is possible no yes my sister Gel is married to a man she has to know it for herself no yes that is true she has to know that for herself, yes, Mr. Jensen, but do you want Mr. Jensen? Please let us know. We had agreed Mr. Jensen. Mr. Jensen, we said we wouldn't hand out nuts at the hearing today, in fact, we agreed. and that's why I told them I said there's a small gift a gift a gift and what is that because Mr.

Jensen I put it in your box an electric one Heater installed I saw that scares me why is that because that's from Russia nonsense Mr. Jensen is a German from Russia no she Jensen konov please what kon please onov what is that because nonon you don't know no I know Paflov I know Ken Kalashnikov I'm fine ladies and gentlemen Jens please now okay now okay, fear is behind yes, a big family yes, Jens, I understood a big family, children, grandchildren, a week ago the first great-grandson was born, do you know? Because you told me yourself, actually yes, I forget some things. yes I noticed it is really a problem, yes how long have you had this problem?

What's the problem, Mr. Jensen, Mr. J, are we talking about his great-grandson? Oh yeah, he's a kid or something. He will have to decide for himself later. That is not possible today. Where exactly do you get something like that in the newspaper? I read only the headlines every day and I can no longer see the rest of the new glasses that could. Maybe the old ones are no longer clear, that doesn't work at all Mr. Jensen, you misunderstood me, they have something. Did you say something wrong? Oh, Mr. Jensen, the sender is responsible for a message.

Oh, what does my grandfather say? say yes of course I'm mad and Mark Metz and Netz please who is Netz Mark with M like Martha oh she's there too? Ne Mark just say Mark and say Mickey Mouse nickyus who is the nickyus the N of nus why can't they say it? m and no no n and and why can't you say that because you're a dirty rainner that's no now it looks like something like that comes here Jens that doesn't look like it at all that's a big piece of shit yes you say Mr. Jensen but my brother couldn't but he will come here from immediate.

He could not. So I put it in the box. You can do it, but I don't want to go in there. Why isn't there a Russian machine there? look at the speaker there yes, it's a sound v ah, that's something that breaks the world funger aha the scheinörfer Hieron yes and now we want the kangeras Mr. Jensen what is it yes look she's on it men Mr. Jensen says he's not Russian Mr. Jensen, that's English and it also means noton, it says on off, yeah, that's fine. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I've thought about it: you want something, yes, but are you really German, so Erwin Jensen, thank you? very much TÜ tchü Jensen yes, thank you very much, that's wonderful Jensen yes, what do I do with the nuts now?

I don't know, I don't know. Is the electrician there? What do you want from the electrician? It is dark here. Oh, so, here. There is no light there, well ladies and gentlemen, I can't see my nose, okay, I came here on the plane and the big box is always checked, but the teacher I want to introduce you to now travels in a travel bag like that, in a doctor's bag like that, as befits his status. Here's Professor Dr. Karl Friedrich Jensen, that was very kind, very good and now you're probably saying, man, he looks like Mr.

Jensen. you should eat K Friedrich, look, there he is again, yes, I got him, that's a sissy, he's talking sissy, yes, that's his name, please gentlemen, calm down, ladies and gentlemen, I'm the smartest . of us, yes, no one has discussed it, my cow is double digits, yes, Konger in the middle, please, it's a shame your noble brain will have to rot one day and you haven't done anything. Heliungirn D, can you stand upright, so please. Gentlemen, calm down, I don't want to calm down, please, have you tried to calm down? Take sedatives, you must leave without emptying, you must stay out of it, please, yes, you must drink alcohol for me.

I have time. Professor, I feel too old for your jokes. You can still feel it. Can I bother you for a moment? No, can I bother you for a moment? Does it matter? n I just want to bother you for a moment. I'm a psychoanalyst, oh, if you're a psychoanalyst that's your problem. I have no problem. Mr. Professor, tell me Karl Friedrich, Karl Friedrich Professor Dr. Karl Friedrich Mr. Professor Dr. Karl Friedrich, oh, so Mr. Professor, she is having a great time, you don't get involved, please calm down, she is resting with her glasses new. Does she seem really irritated?

I don't have new glasses, but they have returned my check, yes, my degression too, please, please, Mr. Professor, don't do it now Friedrich Fried Professor Dr Professor Dr Karl Friedrich Jensen Now don't make that face when you do it He could having made faces a long time ago, I would have very unpleasant new things, yes, I should say that too, in fact I have a gift for you, oh, I think it's cute, so that's something Nutcracker and you have a gift too For his brother Yes, what's wrong? I have a Russian machine here, yes,

professor

, but you are a psychoanalyst, that's right.

Yes, can you briefly explain to us what a psychoanalyst actually does? You know neurotics, I know neurotics, they say that neurotics build castles in the air, you see, and schizophrenics build castles in the air, oh, and you, as a psychoanalyst, I collect rent, I can tell,

professor

, you have under , don't touch me, I'm sorry. he still behaves in a completely different way you're not serious no no that's all good just wanted so they have a nice dark suit under the coat they want to go somewhere with grandpa grandpa what's actually a grandpa yes what is he actually a grandfather?

They don't know, so tell them, let's see if someone has a knife in their back and instead of dying they start singing, oh that's OFA, okay, but I have an idea that's nice and I forgot, oh. but but professor I have an idea yes I think that both of you should get together, let's talk about it in detail, you think it's a good idea, I don't think it's a good idea, get it out, please we can. just try it, but here you can only go to Jensen, no, but that's it, that's his brother and oh shit, yes from N even uglier than please that hasn't changed now please can't you do that but now I have I want to get in there now no, I can't let that happen here he couldn't get in otherwise he will get in the nut I want to get in there now please that's right.

Now, sir, let it go, let it be. in front of you, just come in here, be careful, OUCH, what is this here Erin, these are my balls, oh no, look like this and calm down, gentlemen, calm down, I'm a star, take me out. from here Jensen, we will get you out of here at some point yes yes now it's over no now it's over exactly yes I want to get out of here yes I have to go to the gynecologist to take something you Mr. Jensen yes but a gynecologist is your specialist in the suffering of woman, yes, I suffer as a woman, so now it's okay, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much, bye and bye.