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Ross Clark: Prepare To Meet The Real Rylan

Mar 22, 2024
you have some money in the bank, you're okay, that's my comfort, knowing that I'm safe, that's all I want in life and I think that's all anyone

real

ly wants in life, just knowing that they're safe, whether in a relationship, whether it's financially, whether it's family, whether it's health, something like that, you just want to be safe in those aspects and I'm lucky to be safe in many aspects of my life, the only thing I'm not sure about is a relationship at this time. but I'm having a relationship with myself right now that I've never had and maybe I need to do that for myself so when you leave the house now, so come here today, do you have a different approach to putting on? your Rylan mask instead of showing up, yeah, you know what's something I've been thinking about lately?
ross clark prepare to meet the real rylan
So today, for example, we started at 10 o'clock this morning, so I leave my house with more than enough. Every time I know I get on the M11 there's traffic and I say there's always a bit of traffic on the M11 it's not a problem but the traffic is going back up and up and up now, normally I'd be that person thank goodness , but again I can't control it I can't control the traffic so if I'm 10 minutes late if I'm half an hour late if I'm an hour late it's not cool I don't like being late it's a nuisance of mine and I'm not late just to let you know, but before I got so frustrated and it was over, I was at the airport the other day and a flight got canceled and I knew my flight was going to be canceled and the panic I started going but then I just stopped and it's almost like that little cut before to move.
ross clark prepare to meet the real rylan

More Interesting Facts About,

ross clark prepare to meet the real rylan...

I do it because the people listening to this will be struggling with that moment, the breaking point moment, so I sit there and dwell in my head. Don't talk loudly at the airport because then people will stare. I won't dwell on it. If this flight is cancelled, I'll miss it. It's sad, but it's okay. All I have to do, but I have it. I've got my credit card I've got my business card with me I'll just book a hotel I'll stay in a hotel I've got clean underwear on my back like I'm just going to try and be what do I do? or is there another avenue is there another airline is there another this what do I do what do I do so I work on the solution to the problem before the problems arise with the worst case scenario if the answer is yes, yes, done, that's it, I'm I'm so glad you say this because we have this conversation a lot, yeah, on this podcast, you know, because I think we call ourselves high-achieving and I think some people feel like that means that to listen to this you have to want to be a millionaire. or a CEO or an Olympic athlete or something that always tells people that it's right, we've actually worked out high performance in three sentences, do the best you can where you are with what you have, absolutely feel something like what you've had.
ross clark prepare to meet the real rylan
Your eyes were opened to do the best you can where you are with what you have. What more can anyone ask of you? My God. I feel like I've gone from Stevie Wonder to Specsavers. That's the best way to describe it. Brilliant. Feel. like I had lived so long just not seeing anything in front of me and just grabbing and doing and living, yeah, but I was

real

ly living it because I don't think I was, now it's again. I'll do a job that I work on. I've strictly done that for four years, things can become routine for you.
ross clark prepare to meet the real rylan
Now I will go to work and sit there and continue with our jobs, we are lucky to do what we do, but it is work and everyone has the right. Whether you get paid two pounds or two million pounds, sit down guys, not today, I can't even go to work today, regardless of what it is, and sometimes I think and then I go, remember 10 years ago? You remember when you literally would have cut off your leg to be in the background of this let alone the foreground, so it's just remembering what it means to you and I feel like it's a great feeling for me, my agenda is all over the place.
Buy it and I'll get to the point where I feel like I just want a day off. I just want a day off. It's okay to think that you don't have to be grateful for everything every second of the day. Yes that's fine. sit there and go watch, no, I don't care, give me someone else, then it's okay to do that, it's okay to do that because we're all human and we're all normal people, but try to remember if you want something. I always sit there and say, and I know it's easier said than done, if four years from now I want to compete in the Olympics as an Olympic gymnast and win gold, I can do it.
All I have to do for the next four years is train him it's literally that simple we can all laugh at me we can all sit there and go you know what mate but if I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast if I trained for the next four years I could be on the Olympic team if I worked. It's quite difficult, it's that simple. Do I have time to do it? No, I want to, not really, but I would love to do 12 backflips. Yes, and also look, you may lack the natural talent, the absolutely physical ability, which is what it does.
Point to thinking that you couldn't make the Olympic team. I mean, I remember Middleton saying that if he wanted to break the 100-meter world record, I would do it. You break the 100 meter world record. Now the truth is that he would not correct the truth. It's just that with four years of work, the chances of you making the Olympic Team in your mid-30s are a little slim, it's weird, but the point is that it's not impossible, why think about anything other than that? And that's a really good tenant, actually, for high performance. Positive thinking will not make everything perfect.
No amount of positive thinking will get you closer to the things you want or the life you want to live, and you know, whoever has a negative mindset benefits them like we once assumed. Who said cynicism works for you, but I imagine you know that with the world you've been in there would have been a period where television can be pretty stabbed in the back, oh yes, to a great extent, and how They got that job and have you heard? what's going on, they've slept with them and this is happening, yeah, you know, I hope you're learning that actually, that's a negative space and a negative place, the most important lesson I've learned when it comes to my career. and it took me 10 years to learn is that people can be your colleagues but not necessarily your friends and that's not a bad thing and loyalty when it comes to this industry is very few and far between when it comes to companies when it all comes down to individuals when it comes to everything, but again, that's okay because it is what it is, you may not be able to change what is, but you can always try to change your approach on how to deal with what is and that's what I feel like I'm doing now because I went to a place where I look at things and go.
I can not control it. I'm going to go buy McDonald's. What I can do? Yeah, I can sit here for the next three days criticizing everyone, calling them all bastards and saying he's an idiot, that's an idiot. I'm going to finish myself off or I can sit there and go to Barcelona for three days and never come back like I can't change what everyone else does. I want to do and I can't change what people want, all I can do is try to grab what I want, yeah, and try to grab it with both hands. It's good that you comment with colleagues and friends it's interesting because in your book I have chapters where you have people who are in the public eye, yes, like Claire from Steps or you know you talk about Scott Mills and your friendship with him, yes, very deeply, so I'm interested to know what the criteria is for you. allowing someone into your friendship group now instead of just being a colleague I feel like I can say on one hand that I have friends in this industry friends that I've met through this industry that I can count on one hand is more than enough for me if I had two great if I had two hands no problem I have so many people in this industry they both know what that is they'll see it sporadically or they'll see it at an event or something Babe where are you?
Oh yeah, now we could do it, uh, no, we know each other, it's that weird thing you also do when you've never met before, but you kiss, you know they're both on TV, so? They're like hey, big card bill, how are you going to tell when you were a kid? people like you know each other don't know each other's name, but wow, but that's okay, it's part and parcel of the fun of it all, it's fun, but for me the way I find out who is a friend and who is an acquaintance or a colleague. A friend is someone like last year, when you're at your lowest point, and he tries to do anything to help you, so I remember you know I didn't want to see anyone.
I didn't leave the house, I became very agrophobic, my mum called Ruth and Omen and they turned up at my house, and I mean, Eamon got very upset because he was clearly visibly very sick, as was the roof and he didn't want to see them. and I just remember breaking down and leaving, I don't want to see anyone, I don't want to see anyone, they drove them two hours to get to wherever, all this, but they did it, they did it, not because it was on Instagram the next morning no because they're going to get praise from people because they played on Twitter to get likes, they did it because they cared, they did it because they cared about me and they're people who are friends and I would do it.
You did the same thing when Roof lost his sister. Ruth's sister passed away and it was very unexpected and very upsetting and I was there for her. What did that do for you when they came to your house? She reminded me that there is life outside the front door. I didn't want it that reminded me that I was someone before all this you forget that you're a person when you're going through it you forget that you have a body you forget that you have a brain and you forget that you have a voice um and obviously they were very surprised by how I was talking Claire did the same thing and my mom also did it with Claire um that's why they're both in my book because they're Claire is like my sister's name and I like my mom and my dad that's literally what they are but What you just said there that worries me in some ways for people listening to this is that in the nine years before this things were You're doing well because you haven't had the opportunity to try a group of friends, so you must There are many people who are hangers on our people and who are simply there to travel because they want the associated benefits that I couldn't see.
I didn't know what a red flag was, so when you look back, what advice would you give people to determine that? Sometimes you use that phrase about people being with you for seasonal reasons or for life. Yes, how would you then determine what other things? People can learn from your experience. It's such a difficult question because, like you said, sometimes I think you know you let it happen anyway. Sometimes I think you really don't know if someone is there for the wrong reasons and it hits you like a baseball. Beat in the face if you find out, I can only talk to wake up and see what's going on around me and now I have no problem sitting there and saying this is not good for me or this situation is not good for me.
The person is not good for me, how do you determine what red flags to look for? So I'll give you some advice on how long, for example, what kind of lists you look for, it depends on whether you're looking at someone. that you're dating depends on whether you're looking at someone who's your friend depends on whether it's someone in your family depends on the circumstances there's no formula I'm not going to sit there and go straight so this person is this this one and that, oh no, clearly they're in this for the wrong reasons let's get rid of them well it's interesting because when we talked to Vicky Patterson on the podcast she did a test of her phone and that's how she determined it so she said it was split. some people even uh the ones that give you energy, she said, the ones that leave you humming like an old refrigerator, where is the face used, right?, when you see the name on the phone you say, oh great, I want to answer, so she speaks about halfway there, it's fair enough to do it there, but then there are the draggers she told about that you have and get the texts?
Yeah, and I'm interested in terms of following up on Jake's question like what do you do now that almost sets the same criteria that Vicky told us about again for me? It's a very mental thing and I think I led with my heart for so long, which I don't think is a bad thing because my heart has taken me to places that I'm grateful to have gone to or experiences that I've had, but sometimes it always I forget to use my head and I think now I'm finding that perfect balance between my head and my heart where I can sit there and see, this is a passion or let's say it's dating, that's always easy to talk about you, you know someone , you get the heart, you feel little flutters and you say, "I really like it," I really like it and then someone might say something. to you where they point something out to you now I have had this in my life that I chose to ignore and then I am in a situation so this time I am referring to my real friends that are around me and when I say true friends I mean a very tight circle, could they say something and instead of me dismissing it, I'll listen and go well, look, I'm going to look at this with fresh eyes, so I'll date someone if you realize that.I would love to know if you feel you deserve it and if you care. and I'm talking to Ross, not Rylan right now.
I want to sit here and say I can laugh about it. If I ever get criticism, and nine times out of ten I do, there's one time out of ten, sometimes it'll bother me a little bit. and I think you know how hard I've worked on this or something. I like some criticism because I think it keeps me grounded and I think it reminds me that I'm not invincible and we don't know it. There are a lot of people in this industry whose feet leave the ground and become idiots. I'm lucky mine is still on the ground and I think that has played a strange role in it.
I like to know that it doesn't. They all like me. I like it. knowing that wow why do I fight because it makes me work harder with that right because the biggest compliment anyone can give me is and is the normal thing I always get and the one compliment I probably get the most satisfaction from. I used to hate you when you were on . I love it. It's brilliant, can I talk to you about how you've done it? There will be people listening to this with a dream and an ambition, and I want to know how you end up in a career as cutthroat as television and how you navigate it to the end and please don't say it's by accident and please don't say you don't know. because the truth is you do know and it takes careful planning and it takes thinking, it takes sleeping around um getting back to the same Getting started, yeah, quickly browsing and understanding the fact of The stereotype that I needed to be was the first step, giving myself Talk about your role on that show and on television at the time, X Factor at the time was huge, it was a singing show but it's also television. program now working in television you understand that there are boxes everyone has a box if you're average you're in the average box it doesn't matter you're not the gay one either you're this one you're that one you're that one I knew very quickly when I was looking around I'm the one joking okay , how do I work with this and obviously played the game?
I played along, you want to put me in feather bowers and a light. monkey do it that's absolutely fine if I make a couple grand off this and I have two weeks at live shows I make a couple of appearances in gay clubs I can buy a new car because the other one just blew up cool that's how I looked at it, no I had high expectations, I knew I had it in me, so coming off X Factor I knew at this point because I had already had a dodgy conversation, an The house I walked into I knew I was going to be a big brother and I thought this was my chance to show Ross instead of Rylan.
Everyone thinks Rylan is this X Factor character. He could go out first and if I go out first that means knowing big. brother and being a celebrity version, I have a minimum of five days maximum to show that if I get evicted first and go on Celebrity Big Brother and just be myself, I would sit there with no makeup on hand. pants being Razor buddies Roddick and Tori's Frankie sitting there drinking beer making fun of Cafe Bill because we found it funny like you knew that was it and then people were just like oh isn't it this idiot singing a Spice Girl mega mashup flying from a grate on the roof, it's actually pretty normal, then I won and I was upright, there's a bit of validation that I played well so I need to keep doing this now, then I was offered the job on Big Brother, but no I'm a presenter and I thought: how am I going to do this?
Because I'm not a presenter and you know when you present you have 40 people talking in one ear, you have to listen to this person or luckily, I found it very easy and I still do it and I love my job and you. I prefer live TV to prerequisites because I'm in control of it, a control thing again, but I enjoy it, but it's the best thing I've ever done and I'm still looking forward to it. It was getting my teeth done the day before I started presenting on Big Brother because they were so big and so white and I was so swollen that during the weeks I was learning on the live television job to be a presenter in my apprenticeship, people were I was so busy talking about my teeth that no one knew I was a ship anchor and when they got used to my teeth I was able to do a good job and that was it, what a story and what about the moment you have to go. and let's say now, take me seriously, you know, Radio 2 don't employ Rylan from The There will be a moment where you go and say right now, take me seriously, this is who I am and there are some good lessons here for our listeners, so one thing for me is that when you do a radio show you don't physically DJ, obviously , everything is system. it's all computer it's all this um radio is 10 times more difficult than TV 100 because everything has to be your voice you have to be happy with your voice sad with your voice sincere with your voice and joking with your voice you can't make the little eye look to the camera because you can't do that um I said they're not going to take me seriously to get this job because I understand it's the biggest radio show in Europe, our biggest radio station in Europe, people would kill to have a program. on the radio too, which I completely understand.
I have a good knowledge of music and I really love my music, but I'm not a DJ, so I went and learned with Pioneer how to be a proper DJ, not one of those that shows up with a USB, plug it in and just press play on a list of reproduction, it's not what I wanted to do. I actually wanted to be a DJ, so I wanted to almost have credibility for something I didn't even need it for because on Radio 2 I've done it. I don't have decks in front of me, it doesn't work that way, but I wanted to have that credibility so I started doing DJ gigs and I started going out and then I started getting more bookings because people were coming, it's actually really good and every time.
I'd go somewhere where people would be surprised that I was actually DJing because the last famous DJ they hired would literally just press play on a playlist and look like he was doing something, so I never forget it. I had a culprit not long ago that I was working on and I was DJing and someone said, "You're not really a DJ, no, no, no, I am, that mix was really good, like you know you haven't done it." . It doesn't matter he said I don't believe you I wonder why what songs do you want and what but what song do you want and he told me I don't remember what song it was I know I looked and I was like I actually have it, I also have a good remix, like that that I said well, I'll put it, I'll mix it in this song, yes, you want that, yes, I'm going here, I'll stay here, we were speechless.
On the floor he said oh oh, you're really doing it. I was like, yeah, and it's just doing little things like I didn't need to do this. You could easily make a couple grand by going somewhere, pressing a button, and just doing it. Raising your hands and saying, "Yes, I want to be taken seriously, but I also want to laugh about it, so how important is hard work to you? Okay, so I want to say this and not let it be heard wrong way." I'm not working on mine, I understand, but I work hard. My job starts the moment I walk out my door because I'm Rylan, not because I'm Ross, because I'm Ryland, so I'm at work when I come in. out of the gates just for the sheer factor of every move I make if I hit a car, if I do this, that's where I learn it's not Ross, now that's how it is.
I think people forget that they see you on TV for a long time. an hour and I think that's all they do, they don't see the previous seven hours of rehearsal scripts, this is because everything is a production, it's not just us sitting here with MAX free, they know that there is a team that makes this happen, you are involved. in that there are a lot of things that go into everything and I even think even more now for some reason I thought that over the years even More has gotten into things, I think in the days of a television presenter, in particular, I I mean the days when they used to have a massage before going there, that doesn't happen these days, where should the couple still do it? done for you and then with about two minutes left you stood there and saw your script for the first time written by a comedian.
It's so fun. It's so fun. What I know. I remember when I made my chat program years ago. This is your right, uh, yeah, honestly, at the end of every series I buy people gifts. He bought me a gift because I told him I don't want him to write me anything and he said it's been the easiest three weeks he's ever had. If I had used Watchers and I would have liked eight names when I see it, I think it could be fun on that chat show with nine, right, yeah, listen, it works for people and good luck to them, but I think that's not what that I had.
It's very important to you, yes, absolutely, and I like you to know that I like to have opinions on the things I do. I'm busy. I'm a busy guy, like I like to be, rather than just going in and doing work. I mean, hate. In rehearsals I'm better when I'm just don't tell me too much I want to know enough but I want to know everything let me do it because that's what I think makes a good show in my eyes and I feel comfortable. do that, but I love knowing how things work. I love the production side.
I really enjoy all of that, so when decisions are made, I like to know about them because as the one who has to make it, it will be me. that stays there and goes away, I can actually say it would be better if it was there just because of my line of sight with this or my you know I like to be involved in things, um, but yeah, I mean, look, I've done a business. I have created a brand, I have created something, I have created a person, that is what I have done, yes, yes, that is Ross, the one who has done that, but I think the genius of what you have described in that journey that you have been since They are joking. use it against them and they'll play it yeah no it's brilliant that's the best one with attack also it's when someone sits there and says: "You were such an idiot on X Factor.
I'll go now, what do I say to that?" Brilliant, what do you say to that? It's like, what do you mean, I'm like, I know I was funny and I was in a feather boa, right, yeah, you couldn't sing, it was like I wasn't singing on X Factor, I had 20 battery packs strapped to me. back and my nipples came off because I was wearing a gold Chanel chain mail vest. I cut off both my nipples during a Spandau Ballet gold performance like, do you think I was going to stand there and sing while they listened to me? pushed in a shopping cart dressed like an Egyptian, that doesn't happen today and it's like I love it, I love it, I love it when people go, you can't sing, oh, you were like that, yeah, no, no, because that's not It was that and me.
I'm cool, do it, how do you not know I already had three number ones? Sorry, how would you not know since I already had free number ones under a different name? Wouldn't you know? Come on, it might come out one day that I could have done it, but with you I would never tell you until I'm ready, you just don't know, Dr., I don't see, but what really intrigues me about this is that you've done that, you've done it. leaning on that, you've used that kind of resistance as your best form of attack, and yet it seems that when that crash happened to get you back to it, it was one of the few times where you almost haven't, you know. what I mean, the only time I haven't, yes, and I think there's something significant about that, that you've resisted it for so long, yes, that eventually you have.
I tripped on you I fell, yeah, I fell um and I think a big lesson that I learned is that sometimes you think why am I so nice to people? Why do I always say yes when someone else or a photo? Because I feel? there and I do the overtime at work just because if someone else gets up, why am I doing this? And in fact, I've learned that the reason I do that is because last year, when you fell, you're going to need help getting back up. and everyone waited for me I didn't lose a job they didn't move on to the next everyone helped me get back up the stairs because I always tell them and that's important to me is that people think I'm decent, that's important to Ross lovely before moving on to our quick questions the last thing is about happiness you finish your book there is one thing on my list be happy I can't wait for the day I check this box what is happiness?
I'll let you know when I receive it. I do not know yet. I need to solve it. Am I sad that you had this amazing career? You've done all these things that young Ross would never have believed, but you still can. I'm not going to sit here and tell us what happened. I can look at it two ways. I can look at it like it's really sad that you say that or I can look at it as an opportunity again and I look at it as an opportunity because everything always becomes normal untilcertain point, whether that's the job you do or the relationship you're in.
Not having money in the bank or having money in the bank, everything becomes normal and I've learned that what I thought would be a pinnacle is just another step, a big step, so going on to X Factor was like God's Pinnacle. in the Big Brother house, oh my God, that's the Pinnacle organized it, that's the Pinnacle and then you realize what's next, although there's always something else. I'm glad to be like that. It's not me chasing, it's me, staying ambitious and excited. To some extent, I always think about when I'll get there. I think in the back of my mind that I'll never get there because I'll always be waiting or watching and stuff and that's not a bad place to be because I actually quite like the feeling. of what follows, what follows forever, but I think that from the point of view of happiness it is for me, I think it is being with someone with whom I want to share everything, who is the right person who supports what I do, who supports me as much as I can. them in all the different aspects, I think that's when I'll be able to check a box and say, I'm fine, yeah, and continue doing what I'm doing, and you know what I think the freedom that you've now found really allows.

meet

that person I don't think you two or three or four five six seven years ago you met that person no because the freedom wasn't there to look for the right person no yes, I think I had an idea of ​​what I wanted I wanted a husband and a Range Rover I still have the Range Rover I mean can I see a slightly intrusive question instead and you don't have to be intrusive yeah I'm sorry but like when he talks about this journey in this pursuit of happiness?
Do you still use therapy or some kind of? um actually I don't um which is weird because a lot of times you hear people say yeah I still see my therapist or if it will be once a year once a month once a day I don't do it because actually the therapist with the one I worked with was great she was a really amazing woman and at first I didn't want to tell her anything and I actually went I realized when I did I started being honest with her it worked and it helped. I only have association, so I like the fragrance for the sake of discussion.
I'll smell a certain fragrance and boom. I'm back in Ibiza, my first ex-boyfriend. Oh, I remember that smell. You know I'm back. If I went somewhere and had therapy now, I think it just reminds me of a moment and a feeling of how I felt and I just don't need it. I don't want that right now if I feel like doing it. do it again I wouldn't ask questions about it, but I don't have therapy. I have learned to try to give myself therapy and remind myself what is important. Wake up and go. Alright. Talk to the pheasant.
You know, Patrice, yes, Patrice. I love it, but yeah, I feel like I want to try to do this on my own and the day I can't do things on my own is when I ask for help. It's the perfect time for a quick fight, oh God, I'm scared. here we go, what are the three non-negotiable behaviors that you and ideally the people around you should also accept? uh lion it's not acceptable not to have it um rude yeah and uh uh just being a in general so just those three that make it very good, what's your biggest weakness and your biggest strength?
The biggest weakness probably has something to do with my parents. My greatest strength has something to do with my appearance. Do you think that ever changes because we've all seen the photo circulating of young Ryland? Red hair, freckles, no, that's how I still look, but that's why I say my biggest weakness is my appearance, because I'm not. I love my appearance, but my greatest strength is my appearance, because when I paint everything I can go. But would you ever do it? But that's a lack of confidence that you shouldn't have because you look great. So do you think you'll ever get to a point where less Ryland and more roses are shown to the general public?
I don't know, I would like to, yes, but I don't know yet. I don't know where you were, where you are and where you are going, where I was, I was in a great place, where I am, in a period after a not very good place, where am I? Back to where I started, honey, what do people get most wrong or misunderstand about you? That I'm actually a kid at heart and even though I have a face full of makeup and stuff, I'm actually pretty normal. I am very normal and ordinary. There is a question we should have asked you, but we didn't.
Yes. What was it? That's your job. I'll think about it carefully. It involves a lot of time. high performance, I mean, let's talk about you can put out your own tablets, yeah, that's true high performance and finally, through them, what's your final message to the listeners about how to live a high performance life, um, my final message would be what works for me. doesn't work for you what works for you may not work for me um but in a very short time I've seen quite a bit and I've dealt with quite a bit um and I'm still dealing with quite a bit um just be good at doing what you want to do, but don't forget who you're because I did it and that's when it all came together great, man, thank you so much for doing that, thank you, that was really, really, really fascinating, interesting, just a quick one.
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