7 TIPS ON HOW TO HEAL YOUR INNER CHILD/LISA ROMANO

so today we are going to talk about how you can

heal

your

inner

child

. If you love this content, don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notification bell this way, every time I upload a new video, you will be the first to know, we are talking about the

inner

child

and the reality is that everyone We have one, so what is the inner child? Although it may sound like an ambiguous concept, speaking from my own experience, the concept of the inner child was absolutely radical for me. because I was someone who didn't know that she didn't know that I was married until I was 36, I had three children, I was the grandson of alcoholics, which meant that my parents were adult children of alcoholics who hadn't done any recovery work, they were incredibly Wounded since their childhood, they suffered incredible trauma, incredible trauma and they never really thought about how their traumatic childhood affected them, which is why they have me, my brother and my sister, and they are also not aware that they are not and we They breed the best they can.

The only way they knew was to imagine that their childhood was much better than it really was when they were raised in dysfunctional homes. The people who are raising you don't admit it when you are in abusive situations when

your

parents are emotionally neglecting you. they don't admit it, in fact what they do is they minimize their behavior, they minimize their feelings, they act and pretend that it's no big deal and in reality, it may not be a big deal to an abusive parent because that's what they know. it puts children from a toxic and dysfunctional home at a tremendous disadvantage because if you grew up in a home like this you don't recognize that you're being abused, you don't recognize that you're being traumatized and so you just don't do it.

I know you don't know that your childhood wasn't okay because the people who are raising you act like everything is okay, which means our wounds are forced underground. We're watching this today on stage with Johnny Depp in his trial, his defamation trial against his ex-wife and when you sit and listen to Johnny Depp talk about his childhood, it's obvious, I think for all of us, Johnny Depp and his brothers They suffered terrible abuse, beyond emotional neglect, there was physical violence. and there was also psychological abuse, so Johnny Depp is a hurt adult child and in my opinion he most likely married a woman who looks a lot like his mother.

So what is the inner child? Johnny Depp has an inner child. His inner child married his mother. my humble opinion at least from what I know so far about what is happening with this test so what is the inner child? the inner child is that part of us that remembers everything the inner child is that part of us that experiences these emotional wounds that experiences these situations of psychological abuse and has recorded them have not been forgotten at the level of the inner child or if we are thinking about the inner child the inner child cannot forget the more conscious you can forget, that is, the person that you are, that you think you are walking in the three-dimensional world without realizing that you are not aware that you can forget you can forget how you felt when you were little and you were yelled at you can forget what it was like to experience something at home you can forget but your body will not forget and the idea or concept of the inner child, the inner you that was experiencing everything even before the womb, has not forgotten, so that we need to get more comfortable with this idea that much of what we experience is therefore underground. unconscious or locked in the subconscious mind and if we can associate things that happened to us in the past that were uncomfortable and that we just didn't know how to process at the time when we were little children, if we can think about those experiences and associate them with an inner child, It may be easier for us or at least more tangible for us to understand what it takes to

heal

the inner child when I was beginning my recovery journey and recognize that I was severely codependent when I recognized that I was in a toxic relationship and my therapist pointed out to me that I was the grandson of three alcoholics and my parents were unrecovered adult children of alcoholics with alcohol problems.

He really made me think about how my childhood had been affected by the way I was. I raised the concept of the inner child that stuck with me because I started to see myself as a two-year-old, as a three-year-old, as a four-year-old, and something amazing happened: I started to develop empathy for the girl. I used to be I started to develop compassion and that's where I came up with this idea that the way I am is not me, it's the result of childhood programming that I wasn't even aware I had because the mind is a program that Subconscious mind is a program and once our programs become habituated, they become a lifestyle, they become our temperament, they become our personality and the inner child subconscious or inner child reality becomes a form of life and so we can be adults in the 3D world and yet, We feel very much like children, we can be plagued with anxieties, insecurities and vulnerabilities, we can behave like codependents, seeking approval, feeling not good enough, feeling guilty about things They are not our fault and, if we trace it many times, those of us who understand the concept of the inner child recognize that this is exactly and precisely how we felt when we were children so how can you heal your inner child well?

Can you fix a hole in the wall that you can't see? No, I think where we have to start is to recognize that the inner child has wounds and so we begin to heal the inner child by recognizing the truth, accepting our truth, looking at our childhood in a more objective way, even though our siblings, our parents, our aunts, Friends and family may say that what we remember is false or they may say that what we feel is wrong, we have to detach ourselves from what other people think and we have to start at least from where we are at the moment, accepting how we feel and accepting our version of the past later. when we finally allow our inner child to feel what he feels and be aware and recognize that this is how my inner child feels later, when we are reunited with our family, if that ever happens, there will be time to share these experiences with others and get other people's opinions on what we remember, but for now we have to start by accepting how we feel here and now, separate from what other people think, so your truth in the present moment is where you start some of the benefits of heal the inside. child include a sense of integration a sense of wholeness a sense of self-compassion when I began to really recognize my inner child it was surprising suddenly who I was made sense my codependency on other people made sense the eating disorder I had during my adolescence and young adulthood my anxiety made sense it made sense feeling insecure feeling vulnerable feeling afraid to express my feelings accepting people scanning the room and asking me what people think and how they feel my hypervigilance started to make sense and from that space I developed a sense that My inner child had the right to feel what she felt based on what she went through as a child and it was as if I began to understand that there was a space to love myself, almost as if I saw myself or my higher self separate from the Him. inner child opened a door in which I could make love flow to my inner child from a higher state of consciousness.

I began to develop a sense of protection that I had never had before for my inner child. I also realized that when I started doing it. In this healing and recovery work I was not repressing my emotions I was not denying how I felt I was acknowledging how I felt and the more I acknowledged how I felt the more I was able to show up as my authentic self as my authentic self showed up I was able to recognize when I needed to establish a limit when you are not recovered and you have a wounded inner child many times you are running away from the pain you do not know how to accept the pain and embrace it and process it pain then you repress the pain you pretend that you do not feel pain you do not know how to recognize what you feel and if you do not know how to recognize what You feel it is impossible to tell another person how you feel and if you can't accept how you feel or acknowledge how you feel then you can't set a boundary, so one of the most surprising benefits of healing your inner child is learning to honor what you feel and learn and understand. what a boundary is and being able to set a boundary so you can protect yourself and your inner child.

Most of us who have a wounded inner child never felt safe, never felt protected because boundaries were never imposed in our home or rules were simply upheld. The change of mom and dad kept moving the goal post, so he felt very insecure. Heal the inner child. Understand how you feel. Talking about what you feel and setting limits allows you to feel safe. Another benefit of healing the inner child is that you will eventually have less anxiety. you will suffer less depression you will feel better you will feel more confident in your own skin if you have health problems don't be surprised if they start to improve I no longer have asthma I no longer suffer from migraines I no longer have stomach ulcers I no longer have many of the problems I used to have like skin rashes, they have all disappeared and I truly believe that is the result of working with the inner child, one of the main benefits of healing the inner child, especially if you are someone who is in codependent relationships is that you will heal from codependency once you understand that codependency is the result of feeling emotionally invisible as a child it is your way of trying to get love from people who you don't think you are worthy of love and so you think you have to do what other people They want you to do or be what other people want you to be to have love Once you do your healing work, your inner child works on many, if not all, of your codependency symptoms.

It will begin to disappear because as you are healing you are speaking your truth, you are developing self-confidence, you are setting boundaries and you are no longer dependent on other people to make you feel safe or give you a sense of security. yourself you are finding your true self your north star one of the main drawbacks of healing your inner child is that it is painful because when you are developing the ability to look inward you suddenly feel things that you have tried not to feel maybe even all In life we ​​often remember things we have forgotten and it can be very triggering, sometimes we end up feeling worse before we feel better, so one downside of doing inner child recovery work is that you will feel things you have never felt before and It could be a trigger and it could be difficult for a while and that's why I think it's very important that you work with someone who understands inner child work and maybe even work with a therapist who understands these concepts so that you don't do it alone. and certainly the benefit of a support group is also very crucial when you begin the inner child healing journey, so here are my

tips

on how you can heal your number one inner child.

I think it is the most important step you can take. It's starting a meditation practice and people always ask me why, why, why do you always promote meditation? Well, I wouldn't promote anything unless I've been through it myself and as someone whose mind used to race and I used to struggle with rumination. very much related to being the adult child of unrecovered parents and suffering internal wounds as a child that were invisible. My mind used to wander all the time and I would ponder and chew on conversations I imagined having with people who grew up feeling invisible and not.

Feeling good enough made me have all kinds of obsessive thoughts and they weren't fun and meditating was a way to curb these thoughts and slowing down the thoughts allowed me to catch the unhealthy thoughts when my mind had some. meaningless thought or some unnecessary thought process I was able to catch it when I heard myself hit myself I imagined I was saying these things to a three year old child who is actually me, my inner child, I would not have been able to develop that skill unless I had started to meditate for the first time, so the first step is to meditate, the second step is to start journaling about the types of thoughts you hear yourself saying and repeating over and over again once your conscious, logical rational mind begins to understand how you rebuke yourself.

There is a natural tendency to associate pain with negative self-talk once you can observe it, so journaling is a really important step that allows you to observe what you observe and once you see it on paper, it completely takes on meaning. different when you look at it. You're in your head and you're berating yourself, it's fast, but when you see the way you talk to yourself on paper, it's a completely ballgame.Different, our internal dialogue came from somewhere and is often a result of the way we were spoken to. When we are children, we don't recognize how harmful that can be.

Being responsible for journaling how you talk to yourself will help your brain associate pain with it and force you, in a good way, to be more loving toward yourself. your inner child the next tip is to witness your inner child and try to get into the habit of asking yourself how you feel now when you start working with your inner child and you start remembering certain things you want to develop the ability to be the observer of what that you are observing, instead of being in the place of the inner child who sees this situation, it is almost as if you take on the role of an audience member observing what you went through and just as you would if you were watching a girl or a boy. three years old to go through what you went through the same amount of emotions or the same intensity of emotions that you would have for a child you didn't know begins to flow those emotions to your inner child, which helps you develop compassion for your inner child .

The next tip is to recognize your inner child. What does that mean when you start observing your inner child and you witness an experience or some emotions that you experience? I want to go straight to recognizing how this inner child feels so it sounds like of course you feel that way your feelings are valid it couldn't be any other way however you feel is the way you feel I know how you feel it is this true witness This true reflection is empathy in action and you are learning to offer it to your inner child. The next tip is to validate your inner child and that is: I see you, I hear you, I love you and you are enough, validation is the missing piece. for many of us many of us were never validated we were invalidated our emotions were invalidated our needs were invalidated our bodies were invalidated validating the inner child is a very important step the next step is empathy having empathy for your inner child is Basically, feeling for yourself what you know happened to your inner child.

This is a miraculous experience when you start to have empathy for what you went through, when you recognize it and witness it, validate it, yes, that happened to me, yes. that's how I felt and you are no longer worried about other people telling you that you were crazy, that you were wrong or that you were right, you are no longer interested, it is you who validates you, it is you who develops empathy for yourself and the feeling of empathy It's just yes, I know I was there, I know everything you feel is valid, and I empathize with your experience.

It is very healing when you recognize, validate and have empathy for yourself, which is your inner child, empathy is the healing emotion and it will allow you to feel incredibly integrated and it will also allow you to feel love for your inner child. The last tip is to take a photo of yourself as a girl or boy and keep it outside. in your office or in your home so you can see it often when I work with the inner child with clients, they often tell me that they actually put pictures of themselves as children in their car or on the sun visor of their car, they keep a photo of them on their desk they keep a photo of themselves in the bathroom is filled with the inner child I love you I see you I hear you I validate you helps remind you that there is an inner child inside you that was hurt and it wasn't their fault they were wounded and that you are on the path to healing the inner child.

I hope these

tips

for healing the inner child have been helpful and if you are interested in doing some of this work, you can visit my website at www. .

lisa

a

romano

.com I have developed a 96 page Inner Child Healing Workbook that is perfect for adult children of alcoholics, children of narcissistic parents, and for those who are on the path to healing and are interested in the work healing of the inner child. that's enough, goodbye for now, hello youtube family, thank you very much for watching, don't forget to visit my website so you can take the codependency quiz.