Outsmart Your Narcissist By Simply Changing Your Expectations! "Observe Don't Absorb" Them.

When you make a decision, I don't want a relationship with the person who abandoned me, regardless of who abandoned me because I don't like or love people who can throw me away like yesterday's trash. When you make that decision, you are

changing

your

expectations

and when you change

your

expectation towards the person who has abandoned you the world changes your reality changes what you see changes and what you feel changes when now you tell yourself if they abandon me and by the way I don't like

them

no I don't love people who can hurt me, who can throw me away and that's why I got hurt and I admit it, but I won't get hurt anymore because I don't want anyone like that in my life because that means they think that I.

I'm a bad person, so when you make that decision you change your

expectations

and now the expectation is: I won't hear from him. They won't invite me to a party. I won't get a birthday card. I won't get a Christmas card and that's okay because if I did it would just remind me that they are pretending or pretending or it would remind me that I will feel uncomfortable because I don't like

them

and they probably haven't. He hasn't changed and if he did it's for a selfish reason, so when you can accept abandonment, literally put your arms around him and hug him really tight and say I was abandoned by this person.

I didn't deserve abandonment and I'm accepting it and then. you accept it and then you make a decision about how a person should feel if they've been abandoned for reasons that don't make sense and that's usually a clear answer with an X, you know, and that's that they shouldn't be happy, they should be. angry, they should be resentful and you allow yourself to go through those feelings because you have to go through them, you have to overcome, then you have to go through the pain and then the other side of going through the feelings of anger, resentment and then pain.

The other side is that you let it go and are finally honest with yourself. They left me. It hurted me. I'm greaving. Now I'm ready to be good to myself and not let it hurt anymore. I control the relationship by controlling expectations. So when? you should see that person and that happens and they should come up to you and hug you and do what a lot of

narcissist

s do like a ho. I miss you, you know what work is like or how your husband is or whatever you

observe

and you don't

absorb

them you see them try to enter into an artificial relationship that makes them feel better that is not congruent with their true feelings and you don't let them hook you and You stay connected to what you learned was the acceptance of abandonment, the process of going through anger and pain and acceptance and

changing

expectations, and you just stand outside and watch in absorption mode for any kind of possibility of being attracted to it.

I return to you, essentially by accepting your abandonment, going through anger, sadness, loss, acceptance. and then finally by making the decision that you don't want to be in a relationship with anyone, they would abandon you, you have changed the trajectory from being a victim to a survivor and now you have control over yourself or I would say. self-love because now the relationship the person cannot hurt you because you have made decisions and you with a loving heart have protected yourself you cannot solve abandonment by accepting it by resolving it and letting yourself in make your own decisions and let it go change your expectations and then make your own decisions about what makes you feel good.

I must add debt. There is a difference between lowering your expectations and changing them. I want to warn anyone who confuses expectations with lowering your expectations. It is a trap because it makes you think that you can control the experience of being abandoned in the hope of changing that person's mind so that they can love you, in the case of most pathological

narcissist

s they are incapable of doing so, so I do not recommend it. . To lower your expectations, I recommend also changing them to those that are accurate and accurately represent the person's historical influence on you, their historical treatment of you, how they treat you now and how you project they will be in the future, if you can, and whether they are pathological narcissists or are an SLD in a relationship with a narcissist who is connected to the control of narcissists, you will not survive your expectations for long because that puts you in what I call the wrestling ring, it puts you.

You know, it puts you in, you know, like George Bernard Shaw said, don't fight the pig because you'll get dirty and plus the pig likes it, it makes you feel like you have some kind of control, so you change it, you make the decision whether I am going to be perpetually abandoned and I am going to try to somehow control people so that they abandon me less or love me more or I am going to change my expectation that they are incapable of loving, respecting and caring for me in the way that I have always needed and so now I have to accept who they are, change my expectations and then, of course, and the most important part of this solution is to execute your new mindset, execute your change of expectations because it is, it is, it is difficult. do exactly what I have suggested, but the challenge then is to make a filter between the change in expectations and the adaptation, assimilate and get used to all the new relationship dynamics because, I must warn you, there is a part to this, it is part of my life. warning from the Surgeon General is that when you do this successfully because and that's why this actually this whole topic is related to observing, don't

absorb

if you

observe

and don't absorb someone and don't let them bother you and antagonize you and provoke you. emotionally you stay out of the fight you see them being themselves you have already changed your expectations of them they can't hurt you the prediction I have and I take this seriously is that they will get angry at you and want to hurt you More so, I guess 50% of people The ones you use their strategy with will be angry or upset because they directly or indirectly enjoy the power they have to hurt people they don't like, the other 50% will

simply

not care because they are narcissistic and only think about things that make them feel okay, so I hope this helped and I hope you can take this information and apply it to your own life, thank you.