The Older The Audience The MORE Brutal The ROAST | Jimmy Carr

I saw a story in the local newspaper that said an 83-year-old woman was marrying an 87-year-old man. I thought, oh, that's not going to last. I worry about my grandmother, if she is alone in the house and she falls, does she make a noise? I'm kidding, she's dead. I try to see the positive when something bad happens. You know, if someone close to you dies, it's always a good idea to change seats. Foreign hospital. We went to visit her in Limerick in Ireland. We went to see Sarah and it was you. I know near the end the doctor came out and told us he said uh he said oh no she's uh she's really bad now she uh she can't breathe without oxygen I agree on the internet all I say is that every cloud always has a silver lining You can see the fun in something, even if it's something tragic and terrible, you know, we've all been to funerals, right?

We've all been to a funeral at some point, it's a very sad event, but you know. every cloud has a ray of hope, you know, and a relative an elderly relative in the tent of death has a day off waiting for it to happen what is a funeral it's about an hour it tends to be in the morning the rest of the day is yours I don't want to. You must judge me, ladies and gentlemen, but when my nana died we went bowling, not immediately after hearing the news, that afternoon after the funeral we went bowling, you know, life goes on, it doesn't.

From her, obviously, she was in a burning box, I was on fire, three strikes. I almost cracked a smile but it really took some effort. What's your name? What is your name? It's not Telly I can see you What's your name? What did you do Camilla? I guess she depends on the guy I'm just teasing. You look very well dressed for this kind of show, this kind of filth, maybe he told you, well, let's go see a theater show in the West End of London, you want shiny, he probably didn't even say it, he probably didn't. you will, Marvel. in the west end of London a theater show they said we love a bit of class and he finally and then you this and you go for love before the ticket now do you two know each other?

That's your mother, well, you, you, you don't even look like you could be sisters, it's old, I can't help it with some kind of I love the fact that you turned around to go, right? I will never forget what my grandfather said. For me, I'm in a bag, please kill me, oh, but I could see a couple of

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gentlemen, how old are you, sir? He looks a little

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than yes, 70. Well, 70, quite old, I think so, good to have. Here, sir, good age range, what are you doing? It's earned, frankly, by some of these slackers.

I bet it was different back in the day, right? 70. I bet you loved anti-German stuff, didn't you? Know what? PC or not PC, we want it fair and square. What I was going to say is that I've been told this once. Have you ever told anyone? Yes, the problem with your generation is that you think you invented sex. Did you ever say that? I had told anyone what you think you invented sex I said certain grandpa, have you ever pulled down your ass, Nana, come to the tits? Turns out he had that's what killed her, what's up with that and don't you dare be?

Offended by that, you know, by having a 70-year-old man. I bet you were crazy about that in the war. Jesus, they are being a war. I bet you had

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poontang in those years. Yes, we could all die tomorrow, it's mortar time. You're right, I'm glad I can just apologize for the latest stuff about Grandpa with the ass sex and they're coming because I figure what I've created is the longest drive home, Dad, I enjoyed the show, let's never do that. Talk again, oh I know this isn't particularly PC, but I still can't forgive the Germans for the way they treated my grandfather during the war, who was passed over for promotion time and time again on Sunday Memory.

Think about the ex-German. military at least our old soldiers remember winning I was in Germany recently doing a comedy concert They flew me out to do one of these corporate concerts I thought comedy Germany is missionary work came out there Did you know I did a comedy? The concert went well. but on the way back there was a delay of approximately three hours at the airport. Now I thought that's not a problem. You know, I have an iPod and a computer. It was quite busy. I was very happy with the boy I was traveling with. the guy who organized the corporate concert who was furious with this three hour delay and said without any hint of irony said yes, say what you want about Hitler at least when he was around the trains were on time oh yes, it's all there. couples tonight give us a shout out couples see the couple tonight this is a bit silly I think uh but for Valentine's Day I have sex vouchers from my girlfriend as a gift I didn't realize they are transferable turns out they accept them in her job abroad, you get to the stage in a long term relationship where you want to experiment sexually but you know it can be awkward and what if she finds out I've been in a relationship for 10 years?

Now, will anyone be there longer? 10 years what's the longest wig in the room 13 26 anyone over 26. 28 over 28 how long sorry, they've been together for 43 years, I think come on, now 43 years, obviously, I don't know. what it's like after 43 years, I think it's an extraordinary commitment, especially in these times, that's something important, but I don't know if it's the same for you because I've only been with my girl for 10 years, but things have changed. It became quite predictable in the bedroom now when I put my whole bag of balls in his mouth strange you seem worried about them getting married 43 years old don't panic they have tried everything what is your relationship with him how do you know them? your mom and dad oh that's nice foreigner I don't know whether to look your parents in the eyes again I know you'll be able to drink tea I'm sorry, let's see this you'll find it hard to believe I used to be a gentleman.

I didn't used to talk about my sexual exploits, not even with close friends, never kiss and tell, always just keep it private, it's private life for a reason, private now I'll talk about anything, it's great for me because it's a catharsis, but also . I think it's good for everyone because you talk about things that everyone feels a little

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open and a little more normal because you know there are weird things. Here is an example of an intimate detail that I don't mind sharing with you. My girlfriend can't have orgasms. during intercourse, but it's not a problem because I can, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm and she spit it in my face.

Foreigner Carr, the guy you just saw in that video, thanks for watching because somehow I get money from that, I don't know how I don't know, but it's probably leaked through some kind of ad that you watch before you watch the video. , maybe or maybe you have subscribed anyway, thanks for watching and in some way that benefits me and I hope so. We'll see a live show sometime further down Sunny Road, good luck.