No Sex Marriage - Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating & Shame ​with Pastor Tim Ross & Jeremy Anderson

We talk about intimacy, it's like you're really interested in your partner's intimacy so you're closer to them so it's almost like being emotionally naked with the average person you're going to have clothes with or at least with Jaws in he. beater, true, but when you can be naked, it completely exposes your heart to that other person, yes right, then it is like that, so here is the problem in many relationships, you will see your spouse naked physically but not emotionally, welcome to those who They just start with real men. real talk your host Tyshawn Jackson something for a very special episode y'all with my co-host Ryan gets you so I feel today man it's like we're on the road bro like the mics are on fire the guest is on this is what it's all about To be good, this is a very different episode.

You can't see what's happening on the other side of the camera, but it's nine black people looking at us doing this show with a live audience and I'm so excited. This because it's about to be a straight Ministry with the brothers that we have here on the platform today because, to unite these brothers, first of all, Ryan and I have been planning this for a while, yes, yes, they have moved on to the least a few months. and it's been simmering, but we did it somehow, we've got one of the greatest motivational speakers sitting next to one of the most powerful voices in multiple generations, not at this point, yeah, look at these brothers right here, we're rockin' with Tim Ross. and Jeremy Anderson, come on, how do you guys feel, we, a chilling man, a blessing, a chilling brother, we love it here, let's build it, come on, yeah, we know there's going to be a synergy with all of you guys, man, and the The point is that they know when we go out. the content is correct, we get feedback from guys and men and you are two of the guys we had on the show that men and women say exactly the same thing, yes men say, "I want to be a man." like that women are like I need a man like that wow that's a fact so yeah okay and listen I'll let you know we've touched on the spectrum of

marriage

but there's a couple of points we missed okay? and there are a couple of points that have a lot to do with whether you are going to be successful in

marriage

or not, just based on statistics and divorce, many things cause divorce and one of the most important things, and by the way, it we did.

I don't even tell these brothers, but they come here today and they're about to find out. True, surprise, one of the most important things in the problems that many men and women have in their marriages is the sex they don't have. I'm talking about a lot of guys I'm talking about in our DMS. I'm talking about guys who communicate with us privately. They are having sexless marriages, whether they know it or not. They are not happy. They are not satisfied. They are looking forward to it. getting out of your marriage

cheating

is something that we had, I mean Judge Lynn told us that

cheating

is associated with almost all the divorces that are coming up, that is a normal thing that is coming up, so we have to find out and talk about it topic because first I want to leave it here because when we talk about ourselves, we talk about it's important to have a healthy sex life when it comes to marriage, but first, what is that, what is a healthy sex life, what does that mean when we say a healthy sex life? sex life yes, well, first of all, every day, that's how my Larsa Pittman what she said was that I had to have sex four times a day, every day, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so , a healthy marriage is a subjective statement, you are dealing with two people. at a time and even to explain what a healthy marriage looks like, you will usually ruin more marriages than you will actually fix, so when you ask that question I can't even give you a correct answer: what is healthy sex? what life looks like in a marriage Jeremy said that every day for another couple might be three times a week.

I have some very close friends, if they have sex six times a year, they're rabbits, right? They're two of the lowest. The people with libido that I have met in my life are happy rabbits, very happy, they are very affectionate with each other. You'd think they were together all the time. They have been married for over 20 years. Yes, they made over 20 years actually they are married 24 years because we have been married 24 years this year and they got married three months after us so yes they will be married 24 years this year too, now Juliet and I did it when I got home last time.

Tomorrow night she likes it as much as I can I'll do it, yeah, you know what I'm saying, she had to empty the tank, I won't deny her, defrost her, I'm just here, I'm just here to serve, yeah, but, I want to. I want to turn this around because I know we have a, we have, we have a lot of masculine energy here, we have a lot of masculine energy right here, yeah, so I'm a representative of women. I'm going to be the female defender. this group right now and it says that most married women don't like the sex they get from their husbands hmm I'm going to let that marinate don't hurt your pride real quick yeah all these guys here talking about me wife won.

Don't do this, my wife won't make the average woman dissatisfied with the sex she receives from her husband's gang. Because? Because this guy doesn't even know what he wants and he's too lazy to find out. all of her sexual information usually comes from pornography and not from communication with her or previous relationships. Jeremy, let me ask you this, because I also want to back away from this, what the goal of sex in a marriage around Oneness should be. You know, I'm saying leave your family to clean up to connect properly, so the end goal should be Unity, do the hand gesture again, yeah, so the goal is, you know what I'm saying, is that both convert. one and then if you think it's like a Lego, it was like a good fit, it's like the two became one and therefore the highest level of intimacy, okay, I was with some of my marriage counselors ago a few months and they were working with me and my wife on some things and they said, Hey, you know, Tracy, you're the only person who can meet Jeremy's needs and I said that's not true, she's the only person who It should satisfy my needs, but don't.

Understand, there are other people here who are very capable and willing right now, she is the only person I want, she is the only person I will allow, but the reality is that we humans are right that the highest level high intimacy, but the points you made about how different people have different sex drives, you know what I'm saying, they have bandwidth to have sex, their sex drive, their age, how long they've been married, what their sex life is, what's going on in their personal lives there. There are some Seasons where my wife might be dealing with depression or she might be dealing with some health issues and there might be some Seasons where she feels great and sexy like you, you have to just sit there, so I tell her. people. all the time you want to be as selfless as possible because your focus should be on pleasing that person you want to have the best sex life in your marriage the husband's soul goal should be what you need how do you want woman to get my face dirty what do you need me to do?

How can I please you more? The wife should say: Okay, that's fine, but at last I will please you. That's when you had fireworks in the building, so you talked about you know your wife could. We're going through something right, yeah, we shouldn't have done it right, we're doing this all this time here, so it's okay, let me tell you this real quick, this was actually two days ago. A guy comes up to me at the gym and says. Man, I'm so grateful that you all are back on YouTube, introduce yourselves and he was like, I love you.

Show that he has helped me a lot. You know I started asking about a situation he was living in. Do you know what their relationship is? state of that kind of deal, he explained that he's been married for a couple of years and something that comes to mind, he starts to express this big problem that he's been having and says: I really wish you all would talk more about it . about sex as it relates to my marriage because he says one thing I didn't expect is that when my wife got pregnant, since she found out she was pregnant we wouldn't have sex for a whole year and he says, you know, he's like me.

I'm 26, he says he would never have expected that to actually be a problem, yeah I'll be dealing with that for years, so where's the fun? How does that feel? Basically, how does a man handle that? Should a man expect that some of a woman's partners are going through something so poignant that he can't perform in the bedroom? Yes, then I will say this. I think that's why we defend celibacy so much to you. get married because there needs to be a certain level of discipline that you have to have because you don't know what can happen around the corner.

You know, the last time I was with you I told you how I went through nine months. my wife's fast a voluntary fast god it was like your wife is dealing with some health issues she's struggling with depression anxiety she's just not in a good place he was like releasing her from that expectation god it was like just making love to a heart Make love to her Still, take her on dates, still take her on trips, but just free her from what you need. You know what I'm saying and God said, I'm going to feel your heart and I was able to get through those nine months.

No porn, no. side pieces well and I feel that those nine months were symbolic for God to give birth to something new in our relationship now she has no doubt if I love her now she has no doubt if I am with her just because of her beauty or her body she was Like when my body was failing you showed up, you know what I'm saying and that's why I told cats all the time that you have to have those open and honest talk stations, but as men sometimes that's what we do sometimes. I feel like as men, this is what I need, yes, you have needs and our needs are valid, but at the same time, if we are going to be the head, if we are going to be the leaders, let me tell you something, brother, if we are in the ship right now and the ship is sinking among everyone here, the two ladies are the first ones who will go down to be rescued, if I am in the house with my family, if something happens and only three people can be rescued, it is my two children my son my daughter and my wife that's the sacrifice we make as men you want to be a man you want to be a big dog you want to be a gangster you want to be that guy so you have to be that guy for sacrifice that's what made Jesus so true brother, he said, "I'm going to get on this c

ross

and I'm not even saying I'm not even going to do anything.

I'm going to take the hits. I'll put stripes on my back so that the anointing that power that strength that Clarity comes from a place where you say you know what let me back up let me make sure she's in her best possible place but take a real man to do that and the average cat nowadays and I'm not even mad at him the average cat isn't really at the level they like but this is what I need and listen to me bro I feel you bro. I have been married for 13 years. I've been there. I went through there, my wife broke my heart for years, we fought for a lot of things, but on the other hand you become stronger.

So to that cat I will say: yes, you went through that year that was painful, but now you have a lifetime with your wife, so I think it comes down to that open dialogue so that we really build and we can have that connection and really meet them where they are so that a marriage can be sexless and still absolutely healthy. I mean, I have one of my friends, brother, his wife is, uh, I don't know if she's like a paraplegic, like she's paralyzed, and he has to bathe her, but he likes it, he has to wash her face, he has to brush your teeth, you have to comb your hair.

His face is a little twisted and when he comes to our conferences and events and moves his wife around in the wheelchair, I tell him, brother, you are such a powerful man. I told Chrome when I was going through something a year ago and I thought, I could get out of Texas and spend some time with my man, you know what I'm saying because because of the way he serves and loves his wife, she can't listen , can't do anything for my man, can't wear it. he she can't do anything she he literally has to comb her hair, bathe her and dress her, but he knew that by doing it I'm like a brother, that's different and yes, there can be a marriage without sex and sex is almost like that's the problem, We talked about that's just the icing on the cake, bro, that's not the ice cream, that's not the chocolate drizzle, now you should use the chocolate, you know what I'm saying, but sex is like the bonus that you can build.

You come to yourself, you build the Empire of life with someone like that, it's different, so I guess whatyou are describing, what a marriage is like, what a marriage is like, because I can say that it is a difference with what you are. I am describing between sex and intimacy. Okay, big difference. What does intimacy look like in marriage? Your vulnerability. Yes, come on, not only transparency but vulnerability. I'm giving you access to me in a way you never would have had unless I volunteered. Honesty is if you ask me a question and I give you an honest answer, that's honesty, transparency is right, uh man, it seems like you do this and I confirm it, the right vulnerability is that you would never know unless I told you.

I would say, hmm, and intimacy is when I feel safe enough with my partner to tell her everything I'm thinking or feeling without her having to ask, that's vulnerability. Vulnerability is when I confess that I'm tempted to watch porn and masturbate. it's vulnerability she was I'm never going to know that vulnerability is when I saw another big butt and then I told her I saw a big butt, she was never going to know that and many times the expectations we have in marriage are usually informed by movies that are scripted . writers that's why it looks so pristine and we fell in love with that image because we paid 14 for this ticket and now we went home and said how come you don't respond like that because they don't have a scriptwriter there's no one feeding them the lines how come you didn't respond like that way i thought you would?

I didn't, no, I'm sorry, you made me miss my dad and that's why now I ended up yelling at you and I'm not even yelling at you. I'm yelling at you but he's not here so you're about to catch these Vapors so intimacy is based on how much information you feel safe enough to give your partner and the more information you give them without them having to ask and the more you can accept and receive all of you, not the muscular ones, not the bank account, not the colony, not the fixed ones, I'm in the middle, I'm in the middle because Juliet is not like, oh my God, he did it .

You didn't cut her hair, your beard's not trimmed, man, now she's in love with all this, she's in love with 10 days, you know, hair growth and she's in love with, oh, new and fresh, cut straight from Barbara's chair. It doesn't matter, but to your point that you said before, my wife was with me when I didn't have a job, I didn't have a car, my wife was with me when I had no money, my wife was with me for the first nine months of our marriage, I didn't have a job, she I was going to work come on brother and I was at home filling out applications five years later I took her off her job she has never had to work nine to five for anyone other than her since then because I have discovered some things but our intimacy is based on the fact that we share where we are and who we are and that is why after 24 years we are still together, where most marriages in their 20s and 30s increase the divorce rate. above, you wouldn't think that after 20 or 30 years you'd think, oh, you're all sliding, but at some point in year 20 or 30, what happens is people don't understand that you change every decade if a tragedy happens or some circumstances, illnesses, physical illnesses, anything that can change. every five or seven years, so after 20 years people come along and realize I'm not married to the same person, of course you're not, you're not even the same person, so I was married to Julie at 24 years.

I've been married to six different women, so Jeremy let me ask you this if what Tim is saying is that intimacy is the right formula for you, let me give you a practical example. Okay, so my wife and us, I remember one time. I was having a marriage counseling session and we were there with our coaches and we were going through it and our girlfriend was mad, bro. I was crying like I was, I was even cursing like I was really leaving right after the session. she was like I felt something new in my heart for you she was like I felt so much closer to you because I was able to be open and vulnerable and be like a man, this is who I am, I'm sitting here crying, I'm sorry I'm a

shame

d of how that I have to share with you, but there was that closeness, so when we talk about intimacy it's like you were really in the privacy of your partner, so you were closer to them, so if that's the case, it's almost like being emotionally naked. . the average person you're going to have clothes or at least some drawers in the mixer, but when you can be naked, you completely expose your heart to that other person, yeah right, so that's how it is, so here's the problem in many relationships.

You will see your spouse naked physically but not emotionally. The sweet spot is when you can see him naked physically and you can see him naked emotionally and you like I love your body on the outside and I love your mind on the inside, so that's the deepest intimacy. So I just saw in my marriage that the best thing I can do for my marriage is to be open, to be vulnerable, to be transparent with confidence and because that is the deepest intimacy, my wife is like a man, give me something that you are not giving me. giving. people on the podcast give me something you're not giving to people when you're speaking on stage give me something you're not giving to Instagram like give me something you're not giving to your friends like we're going to share this bed together like I want knowing some things about you that no one else knows that make me want to share my life with you and that's just a practical example of how intimacy has changed the game in my marriage, but in the past it used to.

I think intimacy was about us being more physical, but now I realize it's more about sharing matters of the heart, no matter how ugly. Let me tell you something. I'm glad you said that because this intimacy thing is especially a cheat code. for the generation we live in now, where the chances of you finding a virgin are slim to none. I'm looking for a version of indefinite bodies. I won't believe it. It's not a

shame

, but the chances of you finding a virgin are right if you're not one, don't expect the person you find to be one.

This is the question. Do you know how many emotional virgins there are out there? Many of them according to what he says. I just said yeah, you've seen them physically naked, you might have a body count, but you've never told anyone, who your real seven year old is, you never tell anyone what happened to you when you were 11. You've never expressed your fears, your deepest, darkest secrets to anyone, so maybe there is something, maybe you've given away your body, but maybe you haven't given away your soul, and that is something that is sacred and can be celebrated in an exclusive union between a man. and one woman let me go ahead and say that in 2023 too, right, okay, right, that could literally help people understand that I have something to give my partner now, this is what I should know about all that because I feel like If there was this level of selective vulnerability, that's right, should she really know every aspect of your weakness from your past, what you're not good at or, as a man, it's just something we have to deal with on our own and keep us away. on her because I feel like that's part of the shoulder and a burden, like there's a burden that we have that we shouldn't necessarily unload on her and that may not necessarily be her responsibility to deal with or know about, but what is it?

What do you guys think about being selectively vulnerable and what should we look to talk to her about and what should we just try and handle with her men and sharing the download means it's the same thing? I think it's a good question. That's where you lean on discernment, because there are some seasons where I could have shared some things with my wife but she didn't have the bandwidth. You know what I'm saying, she was already dealing, so if I unload everything I have. on top of you it's going to make you worse. I have one of my friends, he was on the prayer line and he was like, you know, he talked to his wife and he said to his wife like honey, you know, I'm really struggling with a point.

Right now I want you to be my responsibility partner. I don't know, she was like I don't, she misses me with that, you know what I'm saying, but he said you're my best friend, she's like a brother. You have friends for that, you know, come to me like when you and so on, but I get it, he said, I want to share everything with you, but I think that's where you have to use discernment, so I'm not saying you know you have. I only use the sermon, but there were some times and some seasons where God is like a brother, your wife is not even ready for it or she is in a strange place or you are not sharing this, this will affect her in a negative way.

So I have to keep in mind: When will I have this difficult conversation with you? I tell cats all the time, it's like bro, if you want to get marriage counseling with your wife and you want to get help, for example, don't go to her when she peed she might like I don't want to talk to any counselor, that's true, but When things are going well, you know, okay, we argue on Wednesday, but on Friday you don't hate me, you won't throw anything at me, baby. You know what and this is what you don't say let's get marriage counseling what you say is I want to be the best husband I need help would you mind sitting down with me with a counselor?

You know I'm saying what you have to do, use discernment, don't ask her that when she's hot or when she's angry because then she'll act like a man, I don't want to hear it right, so we just have to use this terminal, what to bring to our wives and when not. bring it on, you know what I'm saying because I'm always the way my brain is wired and when I share this, how will it affect you? That's right, that's why I govern my tongue so much. I have never screamed. I never cursed my wife, it's not perfect, I just know that if I do, it will destroy her and God told me, don't you use that same mouth, that same tongue that you bless people with on stage and you baptize and you minister and motivate, don't use that same mouth to bring your wife down, God, it's like not doing that, so now I know the power that I have and I don't want to abuse that anointing, so now I have to say. okay let me let myself fade away because I know if I say this it will make you feel this way and now I have to deal with God because God told me years ago that he was like you treat my daughter that's how I am.

I'm going to deal with you, so I'm very intentional in how I move when it comes to my queen, so there were times where I might want to share something like God, bro, you got friends for that, you got a mom and a dad, That's what you have dad for. You've got Tim, you've got Crump so don't put that on your wife now, so I think we have to use this embellishment because sometimes you need to have that difficult conversation, so it depends. I absolutely love this guy, yeah, so these. It is not discernment, how is emotional intelligence developed?

There have been times when you did something and you thought it was going to turn out well and your wife responded and you said hmm, I'm not going to do that, no. more, oh, absolutely right, absolutely right because when you enter a marriage you're entering foreign territory because neither of you have been there before, right? I compare it to um uh, one of you knows Argentina by marrying someone from Russia hmm, you have lived your whole life with two different languages, two different cultures, two different landscapes and geographical territories and now you come together, not so that you both speak Russian and fluent Argentine, now you are about to learn Chinese. each union has to construct the language that works for them my wife came from a divorced home and as a result a raised voice equals domestic violence everyone in my family laughed right we all talk like that like I'm a passionate baby you're getting strong I'm not loud I'm just passionate I'm just making my point I let you make your point come on quiet she doesn't open her mouth for the rest of the conversation well it could be just me or because I want that connection and that intimacy with her come on I need to learn a new language.

I need to get a tone that won't scare my wife and I'm back with the FM DJ voice. Hey honey, Ross, it's that silent storm. always and forever dedicated to you, this was for Julia Ross and my voice, no matter how mad, angry or disturbed it may be, it does not surpass this record in this Cadence and guess what she feels connected to me and we always get a resolution. about the conflict that was in front of us because I didn't choose my path over our peace, so with that, look, with that language, you talk about people who will have to learn the same language, brother, the passport. be in trouble, yeah, sure, I want to ask you about that, what's your opinion on that movement, that there's a movie about it?

These are American men who have decided they don't want to chase American women anymore, so what they're doing is getting passports, some of these guys know they never have passwords getting passports, they're traveling to Thailand, Colombia, Brazil, uh, some of these other countries and they go looking for wives, so that's the movement, uh, women who are more submissive, yeah. They're lazy, oh brother, in Lane, that's another one. I shouldn't say that, no, no, cancel that trip, make sure the audio is onworking, respecting what I said, bro, you're lazy, bro, okay, so tell me, what do you both think about this? let me see it um and then I'll get a reprimand after you hear them, yeah, yeah, yeah, like the work ethic is giving me a lack of work ethic like you, you think this woman is attractive, you think she's beautiful, you take it out.

On some dates you realize that she is tough and now you want to go to Thailand to find a girl who knows 50 words in English, but she will be very happy to be taken out of whatever circumstance she is in and that she should be your maid . for the rest of your life he's giving me come to America bark like a dog oh daily back rubs that's true, he's giving me your real clean penises sir you don't want a wife, you want a slave, that's crazy, don't you want to someone that you can connect with and that you have to build with and have to argue with the right and have to uh uh take an L4 like oh, I guess you really want it.

I feel like that, you know what I mean. I guess we're not going to do that. I want a tattoo here on my forearm. Julie. I don't want him to have it because we do everything as a unit. I can't get it. one down here now everyone can say oh oh you ain't no man if you leave her punk, well, I got, I got the tattoo where I want them, but the girl could look at my body more than anything, so I'm not gonna get it, it'll just be like If you weren't going to tell me what I can't do, so I'm getting really lazy, damn Tim, do you want to sleep, time to sleep, I want something right here, I want something here, but this is the most damn gangster

pastor

, I know, I'm a Los Angeles dog, I don't know what to tell you, yeah, it's like that for cats, it's like I didn't even know there was a passport.

I did not know it either. movement but when I'm in trenches it stamps our passport but it's just for research purposes we just want to see what happens so I'll say this you want to go up there to find someone like you said really come back. and be your servant, your slave, she actually she is not someone you want to build with and then you will get here and you will realize that she is a language barrier, she is a cultural barrier. I don't really understand you, but you, you're more thinking, I want you to please me, but if you were really powerful, if you were really worth it, are you even worthy of being sent?

It's like I want someone to submit to me, but what he submits to. little boy things, some immature things, you want her to introduce them to you, what does that mean, brother, are you about to guide her? man, my wife doesn't trust me, are you trustworthy bro, when I left my job to work full time at it? Speaking at the Ministry, my wife said like I left my job too, it wasn't because she was just like God told me to be like, brother, when you left the streets and you stopped kicking inside and you started moving work and you started. you ran nightclubs and gave everything to God, you were faithful, you got a job, you served in the church, you were a local elder, you traveled, you preached and you ministered while you were still locked up with the family, if you gave, that's it.

I can only imagine what happens when you leave your job. I believe in you so much. I'll also quit my job like that's my big Flex brother, it's not about how much money I make, it's about how much money I made with my wife and my queen she was. willing to sacrifice everything for cash it's like I want to go here and I want to travel and find someone who will submit to me. Have you submitted to God's plan? You know what I am saying? Have you submitted? Well, me. I am here to serve you, you want her to submit, are you willing to serve?

But I served my wife, brother, my wife went bad and she has cavities all over her heart, brother, you know what I'm saying, like she goes to Italy, you love her. we're going back you went with your daughters I'm jealous owner of the dog I want to see that smile on your face like I spoiled my queen because she gave me my children she believed in me but no one believes me you I know what I'm saying so I feel like cash is like I want to find someone to submit to, what they're submitting to and what kind of man you have to be for them to be willing to submit to you, and then I.

I feel the same I feel it's lazy they just want someone they can serve yes but not someone they can really love and love them and build with that is the right passport brothers you have 24 hours to respond right here because vaccines They have I've been fired, Tim brother, I live in Atlanta, but they're beautiful, attractive women everywhere, they speak English, that's right, they come from different countries, but they're American or whatever, are you running your business? This is the reality I am speaking directly to. the passport guys, no disrespect but I'll stand by it my brothers listen if you really want to find someone to send if you are really that kind if you are really worthy of being someone who submits like them in the United States you don't have to go to another country to find someone else, you manage your affairs, you don't say, and you will find someone who can speak your language, who can cook, who can serve you, who can love you. we can build with you that can help you get to the next level, you don't have to go somewhere else, so I think we've identified the root that there are a lot of single women in America who would love to be taken. care and would love to serve her husband, you don't have to go ac

ross

the world to find someone else just to have him come back and do whatever you want him to do and submit to you, that's lazy.

The narrative of women, the modern woman is not. I don't submit, but that's not true. Are there some that are independent? Yes, but brother, there are many women. I know six of them in Atlanta who are single and want a hard-working man who loves God. even looking for a very high value man, they just want someone good today, mom, someone with decent credit, someone who will love me and treat me the right way and I will submit to that man and make him feel like a king. There were people here. well, but you have to be willing to do the work and I think it goes back to your real problem, they are lazy, they are lazy, I have to, I have to, I have a couple of rotations, I have a goddaughter who has a doctorate degree, she It is brilliant. she's brilliant, she's beautiful and she'll turn into Susie Homemaker in a minute for the right man, that's what I was about to say for the right man and let's not act like these women can't get their own passports because I don't t I I don't like it when men give this energy that all women are like this in the same way I don't like it when women give the energy that all men are like this let's stop covering up the women that you met us like that hmm yes, yeah and some of these women you attract and here's the other thing: how the hell are you getting a passport to go to Thailand?

You haven't even been out of fucking Atlanta, they're literally, you've never been out of Georgia, right, you haven't even been to fucking California, right, you might find a bad one in Mississippi, you haven't been anywhere, you're ready to go to another country you're not exploring, maybe you'll find someone in Boise, Idaho, you haven't been anywhere, dog, stop playing, you're going all the way to Thailand and you haven't been to Tennessee, stop playing, so listen, I'm going to let them arrest my brothers with a passport, right now, the butt is red, let me ask this real quick because coming from my brothers, let's go back. to my brothers in these sexless marriages because you talked about some guys that just had to be there and there are some guys that are there involuntarily, they don't necessarily want that, but they just work in this place, a marriage that is healthy, no one. you want a sexist marriage, so this is what I want to ask for the brother in that place for the brother in that place how can you bring life back to that marriage?

How can you revive that marriage and make it come back? on fire I miss your question, Tim, in 24 years of marriage, you and your wife have had marriage counseling, marriage therapy marriage coaches absolutely for almost 13 years? We have rotated four different groups of marriage counselors over these 13 years, right? 'cause you know you're moving to different cities New perspectives different seasons yeah sure but marriage is hard yeah no one has time to try to figure things out on their own you two yeah stop playing games and now there's this new wave in the world. with courses and trainers you better find a trainer, you absolutely better not be here to find yourself a personal trainer and then you'll have a financial coach and everything else and a hairdresser and Ling will comb your nails and your toes and you will do it. just go see her and Douglas do your part come on brother and you have a financial planner but you don't have anyone for your stop it doesn't make sense so I say the first thing you do is get help and you find the right guy of a coach who can sit down with you and really figure out what your needs are, what you are interested in, what you dislike, what your needs are, start discovering each other and hit the reset button for me to work with A lot of people photographed, that It was my wife and I's trip like I come from a big family, a family of six, she comes from a family of one, you know what I'm saying, like I was here a little bit, she wasn't there.

I'm high, I like a lot of energy, I want to connect with people, she's an introvert, I like her a little discreet, so when they liked sexual intimacy, like we were on two different planes, but I had to meet her. and the more intimate I became with his heart and his mind, now I knew it's okay, this is what your body likes and now we've grown over the years and now we're in a different season than we weren't. in a year and three and five years ago, so I would say to any cat that is in a sexist marriage that your wife can't stand you, your wife just doesn't want to give you anything or whatever, you need help because obviously you don't see, I'd be doing them a disservice if I told them here's some advice, here's what you're going to do, obviously you don't have it like this, that's right, get help to figure out what the root of the problem is, yeah, yeah, it's not working. is not working, find out what is the root of the problem, find someone and we can recommend some, you can put it in the small description.

I have some people I absolutely don't mind sharing myself with, but I think that will be a game changer. ask them to get the help they need to really understand this because sometimes you are in a sexless marriage and certain people view sex in a certain pornographic way. Previous relationships when they first encountered sex, some men don't even know what turns their wife on. I remember having some weird conversations with my wife like man Boo this is so weird the average girl was like you never mention it to me and I was like I'm not saying no name was like this this is what I like.

This is who I am, that's good, so I start to go on a journey. I had to literally reprogram my brain. It is good, you transformed yourself through the renewals of your mind. I'm like you know what I don't even know. I don't even have references of what you need, what you like, yes, what suits your fans, yes, I will serve you with this love, yes, and I am a servant every chance I get, yes, of course, okay, like this what Tim I need you to turn on your night The FM voice on for this is great too so I really want to talk about sex because I was telling you about this and Tasha knows I'm crazy so when I see something online or it occurs to me something, I really want to dive into it, so This was a few weeks ago.

I was browsing Instagram and saw that she was a lady. I don't remember her name, but she has like a million followers and she teaches me. Well, what she does is she takes these graphs. novels and she literally just reads them and she has a bunch of women following her and she basically talks about how women have a skill set, that's why a group of women write these sex novels, so she basically teaches them guys or just people in general, that's how Women prefer to talk dirty, talk about sex, so I haven't taken this up. I didn't look at a couple of posts and found it interesting.

I started scrolling through the internet and I was like, I'm going to start trying this and you know. It's okay, you know, it's funny. I have to have different ones. I have to have different test subjects. Know. I am a single man in Atlanta. Look at this text here. Like, look what she said here. I am like. You see what I said. You see what I said and what I found, you know me, I'm learning this new skill of communicating. I found that, for me, my dirty talk was, "You're going to have this big fat cock, you know, you know that, but basically what she's a lady was saying." It was like you had to be more less graphic and more subtle, yeah, so I started saying things like a young girl sent me a photo.

I'm like man, if the smile is driving me crazy, I can't stop thinking about what I'm going to do. to you when I see you instead of saying push this big fat one, you know, which is relative I started and I started to see the response well, I started to receive, I started to receive these,In that connection, when we focus on the heart, we focus on the mind. sensitivity increases when you are all intimate and you are all connecting, then you wonder how you can be the same person year 10 year 15 year 20 year 25 you continue to connect with one heart and now you feel that the longer you go to the connection, the bond It's a lot stronger, think about it, you have some friends that you've known for 10 15 years, you're so close that you can't talk for a year and then get back together and know why, because you all have so much history together, so I feel that there has been a perverted View and we have all struggled with it because I was in it and I wanted to crush it.

I was putting up my numbers every week, it was a different one in rotation, but That's when I was into some little kid stuff, yeah, when I started to realize that my worth and worth was deeper because, truth be told, I found my value in cars, clothes and women, how much money I had, how many I could crush, that's when I realized where I was. I felt what my value and value was so I was always chasing more women because I wanted more love and that's the problem, why did I want all this love? Because when I was a little kid, my mom had me when she was 16.

I was old but I was in survival mode, I wasn't really ready to be that loving mother who was trying to support me, she's trying to finish school, so there I grew up lacking and registering some of that, so I'm thinking that I'm just a Leo just a Playboy just a womanizer nah bro I'm really looking for love I'm really looking for connection and even though I'm sleeping with someone and it got to a point where I didn't feel anything you know why my wife is my wife today because she wouldn't let me crush when I saw it was like oh oh, I could build a life with you, I could build a business with you, you couldn't be.

The mother of my children you're not going to let me crush you you came to the crib brother my crib was like a death trap you know what I'm saying you came to my crib and you said no, I'm fine, I said oh, you have courage, you have virtue, well, that's another level of sexy, so I had to get to a point where I was like a man, I'm not even really interested in destroying your body, I want to destroy your heart, is that it? Makes sense, yeah, it's great talking to you, bro, because you know when they talk about their wives, I always leave thinking you know they don't sound that bad, right?

Maybe you want one of them. Maybe you want one of them. Let me. Tell the whole story, okay, okay, let me tell you all that, yeah, let me tell the whole story, help me though. Crump, how to tell Dr. Miles Monroe to make him feel great. He said your wife is like the earth, she is like a field and you. You're responsible for cultivating that land, for tilling that land, for planting those seeds, literally and figuratively, and really keeping the pesticides out, keeping the rodents away, it's like that, for me, brother, my marriage has been very challenging, as you can imagine. wanna. sit here and make it look like I'm married for 13 years, it's been amazing, we're having an amazing sex life, it's been a very difficult journey because we weren't on the same page, so to all the brothers listening, it's possible that you feel it. as a man I can't really rock with Jay, I get it, he'll give me no, bro, he'll understand you like I would, bro, he was running two nightclubs, bro, he was selling weed by the pound like he was making money, bro , as if I had them. going in and out and then I got to a point where I wanted more when I realized my value was deeper than that and that I could just dominate and then I married someone and frankly she's just not interested in sex . so and that thing broke my heart for years she didn't try to break my heart she just grew up in a different world she just saw sex and intimacy differently and so it took a lot of counseling, a lot of therapy, a lot of moments where I I was working myself on my way to camps and retreats like it took me a long time to get here, but this podcast is not for the lazy man, that's what I mean, Tim, this is for those who are willing to do it. work for all of you that's like that's not achievable bro that's achievable bro when I wake up in the morning my breath is funky what about you Tim funky bro you don't have insecurities bro insecurity bro we got challenges we got challenges challenges like bro, we're here trying to figure this out, it's true, we got to a point where we said, okay, this is the only woman I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

I will do everything within my responsibility. my power to be with this woman there were times when I wanted to leave my wife when I felt like I deserved love when I felt like I deserved better I feel like I shouldn't be treated like this I felt like a man that any woman would love to be with me, do you Do you realize how good you did it? However, there were times when I had the energy because I knew what a dope I was as a husband and I feel like a man, I was being crucified.

I'm like a man, these are certain things that I need and I got to a point where I wasn't even focused on my needs, I was focusing on her needs and God said, but you have me too, son, I connected you That way out of love, I've given you that sexual drive, right? The guys just have to work at it so I just want all of our listeners to know and our viewers to know that it was a process to get here and it wasn't easy but it's possible and listen to me if you believe in anything. say let me tell you this is worth it worth it worth it isn't it now J.A let me let me add this because I feel like it's something that some brothers are going to have to fight for but I don't know if the brother has to fight for it too As much as they probably will have difficulties based on the right of selection because there was a certain incompatibility there.

I don't mean income compatibility, but some differences in your sex life. Now we say to be celibate and we say not to let sex confuse our decision. doing, but how do we measure sexual compatibility to make sure that we can have a little more synergy in that area and we're not so surprised when on a honeymoon you try to crush and she doesn't feel it, she doesn't say that was your situation, but just In general, how do we measure to make sure that if I have a high sexual desire and this is the person I want?

I make sure it's something I know I also select because I think that's probably going to make the most sense to me. a man who looks for that in his woman, if that is important to him, would you absolutely say that? And I think it's about having a conversation, let me tell you something, brother, if I could start over, my marriage would be a whole. On another level, the things I learned in year 10, 11, now in year 13. If I had known that going in, I would have a different frame of reference because of what I went through and experienced, so I think it really comes down to a conversation so for those of you who are like man, okay I'm going to try to stop swatting or I'm going to get into that and you because you're wondering how you can actually be celibate, right?

I didn't let him or her crush you and then you get married and realize you're not compatible. I don't even think there's anything when it comes to someone being incompatible if her heart is there, may I ask? a question, yes, because I think it's important to address this, but I want to ask a question that you can answer based on what you said, was it a challenge in your marriage. Do you think if you hadn't been sexually promiscuous before? Marrying his wife would still have that big gap of sexual incompatibility no, it totally would be if he wasn't and he beat me and I was celibate if he wasn't a good looking guy, you know what I'm saying, yes sir.

If it weren't a hoe in the past, it would seem that women's hoes are like shooting, we contemplate the soup. If it wasn't like that, I would have felt like we were a lot more compatible, you know what I'm saying, and that's how we got there. from two different worlds and when it came to that kind of experience, she wasn't there, but I was completely there, so this is this. I'm grateful for your vulnerability in letting us know because Juliet was a virgin when we got married I wasn't and I was a hoe yeah right here and I was a good hoe successful successful I've always been empathetic I've always been gentle you can be a noble you can be a noble hoe, she was a noble, right, I never heard those two words together and now I will never be able to separate them, so she was a noble hoe, but she was a hoe, so by getting married I trained my body for a certain type of sex with a certain type of cadence In a certain way my wife hadn't been sexually awakened until we got married, of course we were incompatible, so how is everyone now?

We are on the same page, come when I tell you same page, yes, we are on the same page, so the question is valid, but the origin is very, very important, where it is asked how do we know that we are sexually compatible if we are not? , if we don't have sex, well, you. I shouldn't have sex in the first place, that's number one. I know in this culture you all will say it's impossible, try again. I said what I said, you shouldn't have it. I meant it in the first place, but yes Please take that into consideration when you say that you are incompatible if you have a hundred bodies and the other person has two.

Hell yeah, you're incompatible. You've put your body through an American Ninja Warrior obstacle course and the other person has I've been playing hopscotch, of course, you're incompatible and I only want women who play house boys, but have you been on the race? of obstacles? Yeah, we like to be chefs back to back, so shut up, so everyone left. to the top and I rang the bell that has been ringing cupcake on the playground, yeah, that's stupid, that's a stupid thought, but look, why not, well, no, I don't agree because how the hell two runners marathon are they going to somehow Bond?

I gave you that cheat code earlier in the Pod. I told you that you gave your body to a hundred people but you gave them your heart because there is no way you could have intimately given emotionally the same thing that you gave physically and then ran to a new person. Can a woman do that? I don't think she can do that. What do you mean she? I don't think a woman is right. Can. I can fret this wood with relentless effort. Let's talk about it. I can do that and my heart. sold completely separately women can do that too I don't think so, you've been playing with me I guess you're just on the playground I don't think they can be wild, right, that's the thing, no, no, they can Wild, no, okay, okay.

I understand that, but I want, I just want you because you all investigate, yes, please investigate ex-porn stars who are married, have families who have not attacked both genders, men and women, so this is not something one-sided, so can a woman change, I would say yes, but even her change doesn't affect my view of her after having done those past things and that's a problem and it's a major problem and it's like, oh, you have 10 bodies or you're a hoe, but then we got 20 30 100. It's like it's a double standard the sports you had to do because of your house, when you had some work you had to do well.

I don't want all of us here to have the same level of work. Don't get me wrong, I understand that we will all bring different things to the relationship, we will all have different things we will work on and we will all have our advantages and disadvantages, but I don't. I don't think that just because I made these decisions and choices that I now have to be subject to taking on the same workload of that kind of pain, but look, my wife, we just told you yes, but you might find someone that is different from me. wife, you could find someone who may not have the bodies, but she is more compatible, that will happen.

What we are trying to say is when you have a love in the mix and you really connect with his heart and his mind and God is in the mix of that compatibility, but he is the one who created sex like he created our organs, so that will be blessed, so you don't have to worry about that, what's more, the more bodies you have, the more difficult it will be. recalibrate only for this person, but it is definitely possible, now let me tell you a scientific fact based on what you just said about how to know if you are compatible for hundreds of thousands of years in the evolutionary process has been certified by most sex therapists that a kiss usually tells most people whether they are a compatible couple or not, yes, put your tongue in their mouth and you don't know if this is good. this kiss is good, anything good is relative, yes people like different types of kisses, right, if this kiss is good, this usually tells you that the potential is there, you don't have to put a penis in the vagina , you don't have to have a head, you do it.

You don't have to humiliate her You don't have to do all these things You don't have to get a hand job You don't have to take out all your balls on the third date to say oh yeah, I know She, I know, now stop playing if you just want tosomeone who plays hopscotch and you have a hundred bodies, then don't be angry because she doesn't want to do anything to you until you get married, if that's your requirement. I would respect that, actually, a lot of love and a lot of respect, we had a lot of love, you know what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying, yeah, when I was a kid, I thought I was a kid when I became a man who let things go children's.

That's it, so I feel like we all got to a point where Jeremy called everyone guys when I started, yeah, yeah, when I first started, you know, I started in marriage like I was trying to find myself. himself and me. You didn't really know what he was doing? I was just trying to explore and connect and over time you know I'm saying Tracy and I started to grow together so I'm just saying it takes time so to the average cat that's like I really don't know if I'm cut out for this , just like when you find the right one, you do it the right way, you know, I'm saying that you will get those benefits in the end and it may be something very, very, very beautiful and it's not going to happen right away, you know what I'm saying , people don't know, teams don't get franchises like in championships, right away, it takes time, okay, we did it. playoffs this year, okay, we're going to get a little better every year, that's how it is with marriage, but the idea of ​​are we compatible, I've been with too many people once you connect with their hearts and their minds.

I really want to build, listen to me bro, I was on the street, bro, I hadn't even given my life to Christ and I was tired of breaking up in the club, they were collecting money at the door and I'm thinking like I know she wants to. to come to the crib, I'm so tired, I'm over it, yeah, I was still here on these streets and I was like, man, I want someone to really love me for me, not for my paper, not for what they heard. about me i want someone who can really love me for me and so everyone reaches a point in their lives where they like the man.

I'm going to put this aside. I played I had my time to play and I realized after 30 40 56 okay let me sit down now and find someone who can really love me who I can really build with and who I can spend the rest of my life and in God, we trust in God. Yes Lord God recalibrate something inside my brain recalibrate something inside my mind to where I only have eyes for this person I only desire this person I just want to love this person I just want to share my body my heart my wealth with this one in particular yes and God will do that, yes, that's why I say for you to have a successful marriage you must have a threesome, you, your spouse and God, that's the winning combination.

A code 3-4. A three three chord is not easily broken. Yes, guys. I have a special request for all of you because, last time, Jeremy, you came after asking if it was okay, you know, to pray with us, yeah, and I just remember having a conversation that day with, I mean, literally, the next day. . I actually cut off all the dreadlocks like yeah, I just remember, you know, I remember you, you little stroller, you were praying with us and I thought it was just an out-of-body experience. I was like, wow, I had I have no idea that you know that launching this platform would bring us that kind of blessing, so if you could, because you know some people who follow us in our audience who have failed marriages and really want to make a change and work. work for it, you know, so could you guys just shut us down, shut us down with a prayer, sure that's great, absolutely, yeah, but yeah, never mind.

I'll go, then you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, you, any other questions so man God, I'm so grateful that regular Knuckleheads like us can still come to you with our requests.

Lord, no, I just pray for all the people who listen and watch this podcast. I pray for all marriages, for all men. tired, stressed, frustrated by all the wives who don't feel loved and appreciated. Empower yourself for your husbands. Lord, I pray that You will send them help. Yes, I pray, Lord, that you will leave this podcast, you will close it and you will find a counselor, you will find a therapist, someone that you can build with your spouse and I pray that your focus is not on what your spouse is doing and what It doesn't, it made your focus how can I serve and love my spouse the way they need to be served in love God, I pray for healing God, I pray for restoration, I pray for amazing sex, yes, in your marriages, orgasms, connections of hearts, minds, I pray that you bless your union and the people who are watching.

This is like man. I found my value in men or women. I have been chasing people just to love me and they are giving their bodies to different women or different men because they are looking for love. I pray to God that they will truly find you that you will give them peace that you will be their sustainer that you will give them joy and when they are healed and whole that you will bless them with a relationship with another person so that they can spend the rest of their life. and have an amazing Union that you created and designed, that is my prayer in the name of Jesus, we pray amen God, thank you so much for this cake, thank you for giving us this opportunity to have Hot Talk, honest, open and transparent, God, I pray so that seeds have been sown.

I pray Lord God that we have watered some seeds that have been sown previously but God we are asking you now to obtain the increase God I raise these hosts right now I raise Taishan and Ryan God I thank you very much for your lives, I thank you for your dedication to this group and what you are doing and God, as I told you offline, your hearts are open to you, you are closer to God than you think. I pray to God that with every conversation God continues to show up. that with each part in each episode you continue to show yourself Strong before them and as a success you acquire Lord God and the benefits of that success Holy Spirit you said in your word that it is with loving kindness we have been attracted so it is not about catching Vapors it is not about Going to hell is not about being beaten by God, but through blessings, this is how you show us that you love us and call us from the darkness into your wonderful light.

I pray for every person who has seen this module and I ask you. you to help them be who you have called them to be For your glory, none of our credit in the name of Jesus. I appreciate you all brothers, thank you all so much for coming to the platform here, this has been absolutely phenomenal, I could never love you too. Man, I never, ever ended the podcast like that, but that's probably the best way we could have done it. Thank you all for tuning in for another episode. I just started. Be sure to subscribe to the channel because the heat won't stop the bags and listening hard. start it, we are at peace