President Bush Reacts to Osama Bin Laden's Death with Will Ferrell

Good evening tonight, beginning at 14400 hours military time, I can inform America, the world, and the people here at this Sizzler Steakhouse on Canyon Ranch Road, just outside my guarded community here in Dallas, Texas, where I also I often eat lunch that I have personally prepared. I oversaw a strategic, covert operation that killed the gopher that had been destroying my backyard. This gopher has been responsible for terrorizing Laura's fruit trees and digging holes all over the garden, causing me to trip and fall on them no less than 15 times a day. You know, hey buddy, go there, just go there, none of us

will

ever forget that day when that little fool first got up, go ahead.

I was reading Us magazine in the bathroom when I heard a noise outside and ran to get my copy of Dallas. The Morning Union Tribune Ledger Guardian newspaper then disappeared two years ago a reliable source my gardener Hilberto Deo identified a main gopher that I called squirrel because in Spanish it means gopher and it's also a lot of fun to say last August after years of painstaking work by of my white staff and my Mexican staff informed me about a possible lead to illa, we discovered that he was hiding deep in a hole just 100 yards north of the jacuzzi area today in my direction hilberto demands my gardener sluy help me down of me The horse's chocolate thunder came in and uprooted the gopher while I looked through the blinds of my second kitchen after a fierce 40-minute shootout involving lots of whistling, a garden hose and a rake, my staff killed Ardillo, the gopher, took custody of his body.

The gopher was buried according to gopher burial traditions, they wrapped it in a bath mat and threw it in my neighbor's yard, so I repeat, illa, the gopher is dead. God bless America and God bless this Sizzler, although it would be better if this Sizzler had a taco. bar, some of them do, sir, they've killed Osama Bin Laden, they caught Bin Laden, well, those are two good things. There is also a taco bar here. There's a taco bar here. Those are three good things. This is a great day for America. How did I get lost? He shows me where he is like this.

I don't know how I would have missed it. I combed this place. You know I understand, sir.