Chaos and a Near-Brawl as McCarthy Humiliates Himself to Win Speaker Vote: A Closer Look

-Well, House Republicans finally elected a

speaker

after midnight early Saturday after Kevin McCarthy acceded to the demands of the most extreme members of his caucus, the same people who tried to overturn the 2020 election, in a surprising and humiliating twist. of events that almost led to a physical fight in the House of Representatives and almost certainly portend endless

chaos

for the next two years. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." It took four days and 15 attempts. But Republicans were finally able to elect a president early Saturday morning, shortly after midnight. This is the first time in a century that it took more than one

vote

to elect a president, let alone 15.

But when it was all said and done, Republicans reacted as if they had just won the Super Bowl. -The Honorable Kevin McCarthy of the state of California, having received the majority of the

vote

s cast, is duly elected Speaker of the House of Representatives. -Look, on the one hand, I understand it. He would also break into applause if it meant he didn't have to spend Saturday with Matt Gaetz. "Hey, if you need to run errands, I can watch your daughter." "My daughter is 21 years old. She doesn't need a Gaetz." That joke is based on news reports. So yeah, you're happy.

I understand. But that reaction seems like a lot, considering it took you four days and 15 attempts to make a single decision. This is like the Jets drinking champagne in the locker room just to put on their shoes. And if you're wondering, I'm not bitter toward the Jets just because they eliminated my Steelers from playoff contention by losing to the Dolphins on Sunday, despite everything else that had to happen for the Steelers to make it. a playoff berth happened. . However, this morning I punched our security guard, Jim, and he was very calm about it. He just broke my finger.

Although he added, "There's more where that came from," which I didn't love hearing. It really is absurd to see these fools celebrating as if they had just landed a rover on Mars because they were finally able to make a government decision. The only time I've felt so relieved when someone makes a decision is when I'm out to dinner with my mom. "Mmmm. Should I have chicken or fish?" "Mom, we've been here for four days." "I want chicken, but Lauren Boebert says she should make the waiter read the specials again because she doesn't want to live in a country where halibut isn't on the menu." Now, as we told you last week, before he finally won on the 15th ballot, McCarthy was trapped in some kind of existential purgatory where he simply had to sit by while losing votes over and over again, because until a president is elected, There is basically nothing more Congress can do, which meant they had to keep counting the votes.

And House Clerk Cheryl Johnson, who did a fantastic job, had to keep announcing the results the same way each time until there was finally a winner. -No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. No president has been elected. The Honorable Kevin McCarthy of the State of California, having received a majority of the votes cast, is duly elected Speaker of the House of Representatives. -We call you.

We were like, "Can you just wear a super ridiculous cowboy hat just once? Because it'll make the montage so much fun." This poor woman, for four days, was not secretary of the House. She was a hostage. They should have made her president of the House. It should be noted that she did the Republicans a great favor by remaining calm, firm and good at her job. She brought the process a level of decorum that they honestly didn't deserve. If it had been me up there, she wouldn't have been able to so calmly say, "No president has been elected" 14 times.

He would have reacted like Steve Harvey when someone says something really dumb on "Family Feud." And yes, we used Steve Harvey clips a lot in "Family Feud," but only because no one in the world is better at his job than he is at his. By the way, all of this went on late into Friday night and into the early hours of Saturday. Generally speaking, this is not a sign of a healthy democracy. Nothing good happens after midnight on Friday. If you're that old and you get up after midnight, you're probably drunk and buying something really stupid on QVC. "Hello.

Yes, I would like to buy three of the Victorian style porcelain doll lamps. And could you include one of those portable hand massagers too? Yes. My security guard broke my finger. I think he will." Again!" But of course I couldn't help it. I stayed up late watching it all unfold. When I was a kid and stayed up late watching TV, they used to watch things like horror movies or Cinemax or, let's be honest , "Taxicab Confessions" Oh yeah baby. Give me 20 minutes of an Eastern European couple in weird club outfits getting off cocaine and flirting with a bewildered taxi driver.

It wasn't much, but before the Internet, it was the closest. that you could be into porn without finding a "Penthouse Forum" in the woods behind the school. Now things are so crazy that if I stay up late watching TV, it's not soft porn, because it's been essential. If you were watching C-SPAN while all of this was unfolding, you might see some tense, surreal footage from an unprecedented night in American political history. Just to give you an idea of ​​what happened before we got into the blow-by-blow, there was. almost literally a blow for blow when a member of the Republican group had to be restrained by his face so that he could not physically attack another Republican member. congressional.

Watch this. It's one thing to hold a guy by the shoulders, but by the face? Is this the House of Representatives or a wedding on Long Island? "He's not worth it, Tony. Come on, Tony. This is Anthony's wedding. Tony! Get Tony out of here so he doesn't embarrass Anthony." "He's having a very difficult time because the Jets are very bad." That was Republican Congressman Mike Rogers lashing out at Gaetz, one of the last holdouts. Here's what a third Republican member who was in the middle of the scrum had to say about the near-fight, which should give a pretty good indication of where the GOP stands right now.

Again, this is one of his fellow Republicans describing what happened. Now... ...I know that sounds like something from Jeff Foxworthy, but it was actually in the original draft of the Constitution. Benjamin Franklin was being very forward with Thomas Jefferson because Franklin lived in Philadelphia and Jefferson was from Virginia. Jefferson got drunk one night and said, "Any idiot can fly a kite in a thunderstorm." Then Franklin answered, and this was his real voice, because remember, he lived in Philadelphia. You should take the alcohol easy and drink some water. Many of you jackals will say: "Benjamin Franklin wasn't born in Philadelphia.

He lived in Boston. He moved there when he was 17. Why would he have a Philadelphia accent?" Well, because if you have a Boston accent and you move to Philadelphia, you're going to get shit. Whatever it was, like horseshoes. I don't know what... Self-preservation. He said "wooter" out of self-preservation. Friday night's drama began with McCarthy confidently predicting that he had the votes to finally become president after "acquiescing" - after "acquiescing" - after acceding to the demands of the most extremist members of his group. When reporters They asked him how he could be so confident that he had a simple answer: -Why are you sure you have the votes? -Oh, can you?

Because the only person in that chamber I trust to count is this lady. of being second in line for the presidency and your big boast is that you share a skill with a Muppet. I have a sweet tooth and, above all, I'm very ticklish. It turns out that McCarthy couldn't count, because when they. Republicans arrived on the floor Friday night for what they thought would be their 14th and final vote, only to discover halfway through the process that they didn't have the votes when this truly unprecedented scene took place, with McCarthy walking toward Gaetz on the House floor. during the vote to confront him and change his mind.

And that confrontation ended with the now infamous lunge we showed you earlier. Here's CNN's real-time commentary on that moment, as it unfolded live on national television Friday night. -Kevin McCarthy leaves the... -He doesn't seem happy. -He can change. -Yes, someone can change. -Kevin McCarthy leaves the track. -No, he's talking... -I'm sorry. Rather he walks the track. Matt Gaetz. He needed me to vote “yes,” not “present.” -That's all. I mean, this is life or death for him. -This is quite a spectacle worth seeing. Kevin McCarthy needs one vote to become Speaker of the House. -Matt Gaetz does not seem willing to accept and change his "present" vote. -There's a guy in the back who was... he came out to yell at Gaetz with a pink tie and another member stopped him. -Look at that face. -He

look

s dejected.

Check it out. -It's like watching a British nature documentary about those kangaroos fighting for dominance. This is quite a sight to behold. The alpha male approaches his rival with his chest puffed out, and he waits, what is this? The alpha male begs his rival to be nice to him. Quite a humiliating spectacle. And now a third kangaroo, described by his friends as a drunken redneck, has entered the fight and is being restrained by his face. And that was just one of the many crazy sequences that were apparently happening in the House of Representatives on Friday night.

A photographer also captured this incredible moment where Marjorie Taylor Greene showed her phone to a colleague of hers and then he raised his hand to indicate that she didn't want the call from her. And when you zoom in, you can see that the call is from DT, also known as Donald Trump. Trump must have been very embarrassed by that photo of a Republican who didn't want to take his call. Although knowing Trump, I'd probably say it wasn't him on the phone. Fake news says Republicans ignored me, but I wasn't the one who called. It was a different manager: the great David Tennant.

Doctor Who

himself

. You know, some people... some people say his name is The Doctor, but I like to say Doctor Who. One time a friend came up to me, a big guy, a strong guy, a giant nerd, with tears streaming down his face. And he said to me, "Sir, have you seen the doctor?" And I said, "Doctor Who." And he said, "The doctor." And I said, "I know, Doctor Who." And he said, "The doctor," and we went back and forth, back and forth in circles like that for hours. By the way, this was January 6th. It's one of the reasons he didn't respond to calls for help, because he was caught up in this silly little vaudeville routine.

It was a lot of fun and in the end, of course, third base. Now, McCarthy finally agreed. Wow, he's really putting it in a lot today, isn't he? God forbid we give in and find a synonym for "spoiled." Oh no. Sal wouldn't budge. McCarthy finally agreed. Oh, everyone at home was

look

ing like, "Oh, a genius must have written this." McCarthy finally agreed to a bunch of demands from the reluctant ends of his group, which we're still finding out about now. But if he thinks this

chaos

and hostage-taking means we're in for two years of uninterrupted dysfunction in the House, Kevin McCarthy would like to tell him he's wrong, because according to him, it was actually a very valuable experience. -How does he expect to govern this way if he has been taking so long to unite the conference? -Look, this is the great part.

Because he took so long, we now learned how to govern. -A week ago, I had no idea that you could grab a congressman by the face. But now I know (we all know) that it is a safe and effective way to stop them. Things will no doubt become increasingly unhinged, thanks to the concessions McCarthy made to the extremists in his group. The House's next step is to vote on a new set of rules, which could happen after this recording. We are not sure, and unfortunately, C-SPAN will have to return to its normal mode of operation using only government-controlled cameras.

While all this was going on, C-SPAN could do whatever it wanted and without limitations. C-SPAN was like watching Teen Wolf play basketball. And now, with the moon no longer full, he's just a 5'6" point guard who can shoot free throws and that's it. Do we still love you, C-SPAN? Sure. But we'll never forget your incredible week of Hairy Dunks Now Unfortunately, we're going back to the days when we could barely hear what's going on on C-SPAN, because every time someone in the C-SPAN control room asks to turn up the volume, someone else tells them... -. A

speaker

has not been chosen. -This has been "A look."closest".