If Meeting The Parents Were Honest

- Don't say anything offensive and behave as best as possible. He jokes about how we shouldn't talk about politics because I know how it can get done. - Yeah, he jokes that I should just run because I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. - Oh my God! I gained a little more weight than we remember. - Appearing normal, trying to hide the pain of knowing that you slept with my daughter. Quick judgment based on handshake. Stereotype yourself based on your wardrobe and hairstyle. Inviting words! (intense music) - I have never tried so hard to mind my manners in my entire life. - Questioning something Kelsey posted on Facebook that makes me realize how much I know about you. - Shame! - And I clearly support him a lot. - Yes, extrapolating that because it shows something very good. - I don't mind.

Can I get some information about her background? I would like to know about your family, about your work. I need to know if we agree. - Oh, that reminds me of something you have to do with your car. - Aggravated short answer. - Oh, and I remember a bill I paid for you. Oh boy, I'll say whatever comes to mind. - I feel like I'm in high school again. - Avoid any type of internal conflict to be able to summarize positive things about my education. Specific details to make my middle class family feel as rich as I assume yours is. -That phrase reminds me of something, my God, that Kelsey did when she was little.

He was so so so impressed by her. - Act on emotions I haven't felt since I've lived here. Directing it towards you. - First impressions are so important that I don't want to be negative. - Back to my high school self. - I don't need you in the kitchen. - Abandoning you. - Are you the kind of person who likes to talk about yourself? - No, I have one or two interests but my goal here is to find out. - Desperately trying to connect with you in one of those interests. - Pretending to believe in your attempt.

And I'll call your bluff. - In fact, I will be surprised at how well I am currently regressing. - So you like the same things as me. - I definitely like it. - I planned this entire dinner meticulously and now I'm stressed because it didn't go as planned. - Changing the subject to what tasks you want me to do because I'm still in this contemptuous relationship that we used to have when I was 15 years old. - And I'm trying to stop that. I just want to remind you how much fun we had. I love you. It's just a general question because I'm concerned about your well-being. - You get so bored with slides of one of my best moments because, well, you're basically forced to watch. - Overemphasize how interesting this is. - Oh, and claim a story as mine even though it actually happened to a friend. (laughs) -Repeating little phrases while she nods. - Oh, and showing you that.

Hiding that I have computer problems out of pride. - Oh, you're making a very simple mistake that anyone from my generation could help you with. - Please excuse other people using the computer. And messing around with my things. - Actually, something very, very simple that everyone knows and presented as if it were an insider secret. - Instant judgment. That my other hasty judgments were wrong. - Taking a breath. Become an adult again. - Look, I can't hide that I have doubts about your dreams. And you look a little fatter! - Mother! - Very sorry. Ah, there I go again. - Trample because the way we communicate is symptomatic of a much larger problem. - I approve of your choices but I value security. - Pretending like I don't want attention right now. -I'm passively siding with your mom because liking her is way more important than whatever you're arguing about. - I finally feel needed. - Understand why they are gang attacking me right now and be willing to follow the plan. - I'm impressed with how you handled the situation.

And you can begin to let your guard down, little by little, over the course of the next five years.