UNHhhh Ep 62: "Drinking" w/ Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

I'm filling out as a preschool counselor who can also treat addictions, yeah, and I'm the vampire foil who comes back to high school to give a scary speech to hallucinogens, that's good, I've got a whimsical song, she'll kick you. in the butt but once she goes crazy she runs away yeah, hello, yeah, I'm a woman, wait a second, Eli, paper towel, one second, one second, she's going to drink, hello, I'm the Blu copy -ray from Moulin Rouge that you can stop. every time you want to do tricks in the towel and I am the rash all over your body that you got from swallowing robitussin in seventh grade, Katya and welcome to the program where we talk about whatever we want because it is our program and not yours, today we are going Let's talk about something that's a little serious but let's address it in a light way, yeah, okay, first the good, it's a lot of fun to be drunk and I'm not putting up with the

drinking

, no, quick, let's put up with it, yeah, everyone They should do it once. you're a legal adult to drink, you should try it Oh, I was 14 the first time I got drunk at Goldschlager and that was, oh, I had a decorative bottle on my shelf and I thought, oh, we can drink that and get drunk. and we sure did and it was lovely.

I thought I felt like Suzie Kurtz, the rest of us are literally mixing Gatorade with Gordon's or Fleischmann's and you're like Goldschlager golds the first time I got drunk, yeah, and like someone came in with a glass of ice. and you said, oh it was disgusting, before you drink, your tongue is in your mouth and when you get drunk, that's when it gets like that, yeah, it was just my first drink, I think I was maybe 15, okay, my grandparents They were gone and I think it was a screwdriver, isn't everyone's first drink like a fruit juice like a moment, yeah, it makes you feel horrible for days, we drank gallons of oxidized burgundy Carlo wine and I threw up the coke with spray paint in the bathroom and my brother and his friend had to pick me up off the floor and put me on the bed and I never drank wine again.

Oh, part of why I think I could never become an alcoholic is because my body doesn't have the resilience to recover. from Julie being drunk sometimes juice isn't worth the squeeze sometimes juice isn't worth choosing Simpson is that juice is Carla Rossi yeah, do you like creamy Kahlua drinks? No and don't get this to get these kids. I like it. drink yes, she can, very old, whiskey, whiskey. She used to drink whiskey. Now maybe they know. Turns out diarrhea isn't for me because darker liquors are harder for the body to break down. They are more complex notes of fruits, flowers and nuts. in my butt, what spiders in my vagina, what I burn, it's something I used to enjoy, but a bourbon is a hard thing to put down because it tastes like gasoline horsepower.

Well, I took a tour of a bourbon distillery and learned how to make it. It was done and then I felt good. I can appreciate the drama in Kalama. I remember I was at the tasting and they gave me the small sip and I liked the flute fruit, floral and nutty notes. where yes, this is directly the gas, this is gasoline taken from a horse's shower, yes, there is a hole for the horse, gasoline. I like to have a drink, but funnily enough I'm a drag queen and if I don't have a drink, I prefer to.

I have it on so I don't really like being a drunken drag when I started drag I had to be like three leaves to the wind of Provence in no way at all: where did everything come from three leaves to the wind is like a drunk? woman doing laundry, yes, it's probably a person on Halloween with a blackout dressed as a ghost, yes, Wendy, it's just an inspector thing, the first ghost costume flies away and there's another one, she goes through the things of the vehicle on stage, well, he passes, yes, yes, he would. I had to be drunk, so I'd go to the dressing room to start doing my makeup, but I'd have two cocktails and then when I'd finished doing my makeup and had a cigarette, one more cocktail over the course of the night, so it basically worked as my third number.

On stage it was just about staying upright but it wasn't really a big problem until I was sober and then the first time I performed without alcohol Oh horrible Oh well, I felt like a scarecrow, they call it liquid courage, yeah, a scarecrow He did, but he needed a heart right, yeah, why not a brain, a brain, you're thinking it's a card, the lion, yeah, use a drink or two, and when you were a drinker, then you were aggressive, no , oh no, yo, you were an aggressive drinker, you were like come on, oh yeah, it didn't happen fast enough.

Have you ever drunk without going? As I call it completion, like you drink to get drunk, of course, well, it's like zero two drunk, as fast as you can. on a date once, our third date and he said, let's have a drink and he said, "I'll just have one" and I said, "I think that trash from Wisconsin, I'll show him how strong he is, yeah, take off my shirt, cut me off." vomiting in this apartment based on the bathroom I look like I know we're still dating for six months I can't, I can't do all that gibberish with vomiting because when I vomit the blood vessels in my eyes break and it comes out of my nose it's full , it's a full body, so I feel like my face is being pulled out two inches from my skull, it's horrible, what happens when you ask your date to hold your hair back and he'll just remove the hole in your wig in the back? wig oh, you know,

drinking

alcohol has a lot of adverse effects, it's really not good for you, even in moderation, it's really good for you, yes, the jury is still out on whether a glass of wine with dinner surely has oxidants antioxidants. but then fight for a minute, yeah, there's real berry juice, you know, totally answer, um, listen, people should get drunk, people need to get drunk, that's clear, alcohol isn't going anywhere, I mean, and we work in the drag industry which, let's be honest, works in Delta.

He always says it: our job is to facilitate the sales banking room. I used to deny Beulah Strick um. I would host drag shows. You know, you just use in this drag show like local drag shows and I'd be like, "Okay, whose birthdays are it?" no, whose birthdays are in I love that on your birthday yes, okay, I need three people's birthday as it is and they would go on stage it's great, I don't have a train, I'll say, let's take three takes for that birthday girls and it would be shots fake but they would know that oh the train would go up and they would say ooh we are taking shots and I would go oh happy birthday whatever I plan three of them tell me otherwise oh me.

I love that something specifically embarrassing or terrible happens to you, oh I went to bed, I didn't get drunk, let's just leave that out. I talked about this the day after you got caught. You have a mini drag race. I called her and said good morning loser, she said yes. I went to bed last night listen girl the episode were you fine that could challenge anything no and she says no I woke up with poop on my legs yeah it was like brown diarrhea everywhere it was so gross it was like that thing that Pet Sematary when he/she takes over, you know what I mean, he/she has been through I know, the kid's name was gage, I would hit him/her with the truck, I'm sorry, get involved in the situation, you know, drinking fits a lot of sexual behaviors, I know, I know I witnessed the vomiting.

You're like all my regrets come from my sober life, yeah, it's the vomiting. I just can't throw up. I will say that I think I get horny in the ER, but let's move on, of course. I love getting Brown drunk and getting on Grindr. Be like yeah, you should also go to sleep and never, of course, need anyone or show up, you make it, but you know you go to the guy's house to introduce yourself, you kiss him and you fall asleep in bed, then because there's no gun, that's the other one. service income is a bed you read someone's house oh god have I ever been mad yeah it's so bad it's never not cool so listen underage drink whatever drink and drive , no, no, no, never mom, no, no, no, at this stage of the game there is no reason why you can't find a better home.

I don't sleep on the floor. You find a dumpster. You take a long walk but no. You don't get behind the wheel of a car. Do you think the drinking age? he should be 18 like he's not i think he should be 18 yes i think it's crazy that you can borrow a hundred thousand dollars for student loans i can't have a beer yes, indian so stupid it's a little weird i'm an advocate of drinking and There is always a right way to minimize that unhealthiness that I abstained from the most but if you want to drink if you want to swallow robitussin I am your lady and if you ever see me at the club and want to talk to me Do it the right way, bring the vodka and soda in a funnel, hey, fool, fool, fool, oh my god, chugalug.

I know a Carvalho who soaked a tampon, stole the vodka, and stuck it up his butt. He burned himself with a chemical, yeah, that's not good and don't do it. Don't forget to subscribe, hey, Wow, president, do you understand that word, president, yeah, um, and don't forget some, we should probably turn on the TV show, wait, well, guys, being able to see each other at an angle, it's like watching it on your computer, but. Just a little more glamour, yeah, TV is the window to my ass, so I'll see you there. I know, oh, you have to know about The Crying Game.