Tom Segura | This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von #213

the coke at the Comedy Store and just doing it back in my apartment like there wasn't any I had no fun times where I was like in Cuba sitting on a sad beach yeah doing coke I was like Doug Stanhope without the girl with the blue hair ya you know yeah a little side apple you know they can go yeah bingo it was beautiful too and so was doug but it would be like eah it was just somebody just doing coke yeah just touching a bland sausage just looking you know , escorts on the internet, negotiating with escorts, quoting them, I mean, I priced them at 10 or 12 dollars, I mean it got to the point it would be eight, how do you have them a lot? no i never had i just never had just like trying to work out yeah yeah sorry yeah it was basically that's your latino influence man that's what it is yeah it's like lazy ball.

Street basically was like a fucking animal like he just didn't want to be taken advantage of yeah that was it. I don't want to spend, you know 325 seems crazy, you know it's 7:00 a.m. m. It's not something like yeah, how about you give me some slack? I'm a handsome boy, you tell them it's like you send him a photo to verify them. came off the phone where you can get someone who looks like me that's great the first question, yeah, do you still masturbate as an adult after you get married and stuff? You're crazy? Of course, yes, all the time.

You don't masturbate. I can imagine but I wonder if people still do it when they are 100% mayor, yeah you feel bad when you do it like I'm keeping

this

from them. No, no, no, I think it's part of regulating your body. yes of course sometimes you know i found like i know someone masturbating like before shows. I'm like for me, that's like a knockout punch, that's like the only ckf, well that's during the show. energy as possible, yes I like the free program, I like to go to the gym if the programs are at 7:00. I'm in the hotel gym like 5:00 yeah so I feel alive and I want to do my show yourself like that jerk off and go to a show no that's crazy now after the show it's a great time to jerk off yeah yeah back on the hook like when you really want you to sleep with that bad habit than jerking off then you really do remember the guy's number every time yes i think that's the bad thing itself masturbating late at night been watching porn okay bad habit yeah you do it all the time, yeah yeah, I don't like masturbating, I don't like watching myself. everything but i'll see it from the start yeah you know you shoot big loads you shoot strings like what you got alright a small amount you know like a dribbler is that you? we stand at the end of

this

table uh-huh I'm backed up even a couple of days I mean I'm distancing myself from this thing I mean also like you know how you get you got like pumps good like an orgasm it's like you're your dick look like no yeah right how did it get you through do you think how to count them in your head six seven eight maybe yes the last two are weak weak weak so you have to be in my body to feel them yes exactly yes I'm like on a bad day twelve thirteen in a really a Strong day I'm like sixteen yeah oh my gosh I went to a doctor about it that's crazy you know he told me you're lucky yeah that's crazy I mean I commanded it too but I don't I don't think I am you know I'm gonna win anything no I'm winning I'm winning championships yeah I could give Peter North a run for his money I could yeah it's a good thing I could give Mae West and run on my own those little ones tom

segura

thanks for being here thanks for having me yeah tom gate start boys short time to put the handbrake on and let my mama