Tom Brady Can't Date Kim Kardashian. If He's Not Better Than That Than We As Men Have Nothing.

Okay, I could rant real quick here, I'm sitting here grilling, I've got some salmon on the grill, I just saw a post on Twitter, uh, New York Post that Tom Brady is supposedly dating Kim Kardashian. I can't allow this, I can't. I

have

this, it makes me want to vomit. No, I know Tom Brady, he's the same age as me and I

have

no right to who I am to like talking about other people's dating game. I'm dating a girl much younger than me, people have said that. Who I am? Who I am? Well, I'm the number one Tom Brady in the universe.

He and I have 12 rings combined. I've been in the trenches. I went to jail. Tom Brady can't get out. Kim Kardashian, okay, Kim Kardashian, listen, she's hot, she's a billionaire but she's like a paparazzi girl, she appears on camera to become famous, she's sure to tell you that she does other things, she ruins the life of every man she touches, it's a daily news story, a page six, a reality TV girl,

nothing

. I am, I am, what am I? I am

nothing

, she is like that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but you're Tom Brady, you're

better

than that, if you're not

better

than that, none of us are better. that it just drags him down and that Kris Jenner is going to run his life, he'll be on Meet the Kardashians and he'll like to talk about nail polish with Scott Disick and Kanye and that other guy who keeps having babies, the Laker guy. and Chloe and no I don't want him in that world Tristan Thompson we'll be like it's dinner with Tristan Thompson Kanye the Kardashian Kris Jenner I know he's no he's better than that world so I made quick lists here who he can

date

Like, oh Dave, you have all the answers.

I don't know if all these women are taking just one summer, but you get the point. Kardashians and the A-list, but she's like, uh, a dirty A-list, she's not the real A-list she's not Scarlett Johansson Kara Knightley Haley Berry Margot Robbie Anna De Armas Isaac Gonzalez Candace swainpool Doula Pia Taylor Swift Zendaya Rihanna like these are real lists A that's like who should I

date

Tom Brady he wants to go to a motel and gossip and tell your friends date we're not dating the Kardashians Tom you're better than that if you're not you're better than if you went down to that level everyone we go down we are better than that