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This Day in SNL History: Get in the Cage with Nicolas Cage

Feb 18, 2020
-And now it's time for "Get in the Cage," our flagship segment in which movie star Nicolas Cage sits down with a fellow actor to discuss the craft and future projects. So please join me in welcoming Nicolas Cage and Nicolas Cage. -Well, good night, Nic. You look very good tonight. -Well, that's very kind of you, Nic. You look very good too. -Guys, I'm going to jump here. How is

this

possible? I'm looking at two identical Nic Cages. -Well, Seth, I can explain it to you if you calm down! -I'm calm. -Okay, as everyone knows, my dream as an actor is to appear in every movie ever released.
this day in snl history get in the cage with nicolas cage
However, so far, I have only been able to gather a measly 90 percent, which puts my dojo to shame. -Sure, of course. -But fortunately today science has prevailed and I am proud to announce that my cloning experiment has finally come to fruition. -I'm sorry. Cloning experiment? -Well, that's exactly it, Seth. I am his clone. -Oh. Well, that makes sense because you two are identical in every way. -Not in every way, Seth. -Although physically we are exactly the same, there are some slight differences in personality. -Yes, for example,

this

Nic is calm and stealthy, like a ninja warrior. -Where this Nic is a psychopath who screams exaggeratedly and who in reality simply does not exist. -That's great praise. -I just... need to clarify this.
this day in snl history get in the cage with nicolas cage

More Interesting Facts About,

this day in snl history get in the cage with nicolas cage...

So, only one of you is watching "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance," which opens next Friday. -That's right, Seth, and you can't miss it because it has the two key qualities of a classic Nic Cage action movie. Number one... -All dialogue is either whispered or shouted. -And of course number two... -Everything in the movie is on fire. -Wow, I have to say that sounds great. -Hey, mind your manners, hair gel. -No, come on...let's calm down, Nic. Let's do our self-esteem exercises in which we congratulate each other. -It's good, very good. I will start. Nic, I love your charisma. -Nic, I love your lion heart. -Nic, I love your sense of humor, dry and marbled like a quality steak.
this day in snl history get in the cage with nicolas cage
A-1 sauce is not required for this jester because the spicy flavor comes from within. I love your scent too: musky and masculine like a silverback gorilla in a tight leather jacket. -That's great praise. -It's fantastic how much they support each other. -Well, it's easy to support a man with the rough, smoky features of a cunning cigar-shop Indian and eyes that shine and pierce the hearts of women, both old and middle-aged. And that is the true meaning of Black History Month. -I just don't know what you mean by that, Nic. -Yeah. However, it is time for us to move on to our next adventure. -What's that? -We are going to have a threesome with the Declaration of Independence. -Nic Cage and Nic Cage, everyone. -Now it's time for "Get in the Cage", where actor Nicolas Cage sits down with other actors to discuss his recent work.
this day in snl history get in the cage with nicolas cage
Let's welcome Nicolas Cage and Liam Neeson. -This is great. Nic, Liam, thank you so much for coming. -Ah, it is an honor to be here with the great Nic Cage. -Yeah. That's very kind of you, Liam. Now you're in the upcoming movie "Battleship," a movie in which alien robots invade Earth from the ocean. -Yes that's how it is. -So I guess my first question is, how am I not in that movie?! It has the two classic elements that I look for in a Nic Cage film. One, it is based on a children's board game. And two, you don't need to speak English to enjoy it. -Well, Nic, I'm sorry you weren't in the movie, buddy. -Oh, spare me the pity, you neeses pieces.
I don't need Battleship. I'm developing my own movie. It's called "Hungry Hippos." I play a rebellious marble who escapes from hell to take revenge on the hippos who killed her daughter. -Wow, that... that sounds really good. -Don't be condescending to me, High Bonus. You know I envy your work. Earlier this year he starred in "The Grey," a film about a man who fights a pack of ravenous wolves with his bare hands, also known as the Nic Cage story. -I'm sorry. Seth, are there any questions I need to answer? -No, you just let him talk. -Okay -You've also played characters named Ra's al Ghul and Qui-Gon Jinn, which of course are the names of two of my three testicles. -Uh, I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but what's the name of the third one? -We call him The Repairman.
They say it makes problems go away. -Of course, that makes sense. Yes. -Look, you're a sweet girl, Leslie Nielsen, but you lack the key qualities of a true movie star, namely the skin of a sun-dried leprechaun with the reddish tan and chaotic hairline of a Bettlejuice. Puerto Rican. And that's why we leave an empty chair on Passover. -I'm sure that's not right. -You just made my list, Schindler! -What list is that? -My Christmas card list. I ship them in April when you least expect it! -Hey. Careful, Nic. I have a very particular set of skills... -Oh. -...skills that I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. -Yes, your famous monologue from the "Taken" trailer.
I have to confess. The first time I saw it I was so terrified that Ra's al Ghul and Qui-Gon Jinn recoiled into my stomach. I had to send The Fixer to bring them back home. -That is possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life. -That's great praise. Well, as my "Face/Off" co-star John Travolta would say, "What Jewish masseuse do you have to fuck to get a gig in this city?" They say you shouldn't judge a man until you've walked a mile in front of him. -No one says that. Nobody says that. -Well, I ran into John Travolta in the face. "Face/Off" will hit theaters on June 27, 1997. -That was... that was 15 years ago. -I don't have time to argue with you!
And now Liam and I will continue on to our next adventure. -Oh yeah. What's that? -We are going to kidnap God. -And we're not going to let him go until we get our damn money back. -Liam Neeson and Nic Cage, all. -And now it's time for "Get in the Cage", our... Our Peabody Award-winning segment in which actor Nicolas Cage sits down with other actors to discuss the craft and his recent work. Let's welcome Nicolas Cage and Paul Rudd. -Thank you. Thank you. Thanks thanks. You know, anyone who knows me knows that I love the craft, so it's truly an honor to sit here and talk to the great Nicolas Cage. -It's very kind of you, Paul, but the pleasure is all mine.
Now, you're currently preparing to film a movie called "Ant-Man" about a brilliant thief who uses his superpowers to shrink and communicate with insects. -Yes it's correct. Yeah. -So I guess my first question is how am I not in that movie?! It looks like it has all the classic elements of a Nic Cage movie. One, hot lunches are served daily. And two, between meals, soups were provided. -Well, I'm sure you would have been a great Ant-Man. -Of course. I was born to play a superhero. I have my own natural super suit: a thick, soft layer of coarse body hair, impervious to bullets.
It's like a barbed wire electric fence wrapped around a deranged water bison. -I don't know how to answer that. -Yeah, I don't think it really matters. Seth, my old friend! Wow! You look so young! So what they say is true. You found the holy grail, the cup of eternal youth that my father, Indiana Jones, sought for a long time. -Actually, my name is Colin. -Don't correct me, haircut! -So what have you been doing, Nic? -Oh! Well, it's been a great year for me. I turned 50 on January 7th. -Oh, is that so? Wow. I can't believe you're 50 years old. -No, I mean that I made 50 films between New Year's and January 7th. -I think that could be impossible. -Don't patronize me, Ruddney Dangerfield.
I'll suck your eyes out with a crazy straw. A little trick I learned in Tunisia while filming an independent film that will soon be on N.O.D. -ASSENT.? -Never on demand. -Well, I can't wait to see it. -Don't call me nerves, you fool! I understand your appeal. You are an ordinary man. But so would I, if every man wandered around his mansion in a silk kimono, cursing the gods in some lost language until the Santa Monica police showed up and told him the neighbors would like to "move away forever." -I live next to you. It's a nightmare.
I saw you naked in your backyard and I had to take a three-day shower. -That's great praise. You're a sweet boy, Ruddyard Kipling, but you lack the key qualities of a true movie star, namely a flowing mane that resembles a ferret carcass stapled to the skull of a classroom skeleton. And that's why we light the menorah on Labor Day. -That's a Hanukkah thing. -I don't have time to argue with you! And that's why I must continue on to my next adventure. -And what is that? I'm going to make a Magna Carta tea bag. -Nic Cage and Paul Rudd, everyone! -Thank you.

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