Theo Von Fights the Dark Arts While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Ones

a volleyball girl who was like 5 10. but I was like five three or something like that, yeah, and then on the cover. on the cover of the eighth grade newspaper there's like a picture of the eighth grade dance and we're slow dancing and I'm around her hips and she's like I'm on her waist my mom bought all the cops on paper like at Graduation She came home and only a box, those papers, she was very proud, but it is the most ridiculous image. I'm going to structure the sweater vest structure, bro, yeah, the structure was awesome, dude, that's awesome, bro, it's like you're like his son, you know, yeah, I had bronchitis but it's not contagious, but dude , my first girlfriend had very short hair, you know, like a young man like a Frenchman, and she, when the bus came, was much stronger than me, she would like to pick me up and kiss me. bye and all my brother and his friends would be on the bus because she picked him up first she was literally I couldn't stop her she was playing second base dude I think they molested us maybe damn we've Been through so much, this is a warm-up. up boy like a southern boy who ended up in hollywood what's one way it's changed you for the better one way it's changed you for the worse the scary thing you start to turn into a weiner here, bro, you know, dude, it's like Yeah, yeah, you start worrying about everything you eat, you know, you just start everything like it's a little windy, you get scared, you know, yoga this morning had some green juice, recently I had a bowl of acai Yesterday, man, I mean, Jesus, brother, do you know if I?

I even showed it to a friend of mine at home, man, he probably would have told me, you know, just choke me in the air, it feels different, oh boy, this one has some articulation from the beginning, why do you keep looking at me? Like that guy, part of this is from a place of empathy, part of me sees I'm sorry, don't apologize, that's true, oh damn, bro, I just remembered something a long time ago, he's strong, huh , yeah, you gotta eat it quick, eh, you know, that's the ticket, be quick, that's the trick, that's the tip, that's the heat trick, okay, Theo Van, you can see the mullet on the part top of your head, it's a sight to behold, if I've ever seen one, you really know the business. in the front, in the back, look, so what I want to do is show you some of the other iconic mullets in pop culture history and I just want to know if you can tell who they belong to.

Okay, Jesus Christ, buddy, up first. Who are you talking to? Me right now, man, I feel like a fucking breech birth, I feel like I'm coming out backwards, you Vaughn, born again, okay, I knew it's uh, Tony, the little gazelle, the freestyle, the guy lo sell, Chuck North, Chuck Norris, Jesus Christ, it's this semen number. two careful around your eyes oh, I knew that's jonathan taylor thomas ellen degeneres ellen degeneres so yeah oh wow that's ellen degeneres uh what in this guy daniel you don't know this guy this isn't a guy from my hometown right? I didn't dig that deep I don't know Andre Agassi and then one more for you Sharon Osborne Bowie okay bring it bring it bring it what we got sorry some life preservers some tissues this will help buddy Jesus Christ. bro, it can't hurt hey, you're drowning, here's some water, here's a dropper, hot towels, bro, are they hot?

Everything's hot, man, how you doing? I'm okay, I'm sorry, I'm getting a little aggressive, I'm getting violent, baby. um bro, this feels like he's reshaping me bro, you know, it feels like he knows me on a basic level, dude, I feel like I should call mr. soto, my math science teacher when I was young, I feel like I'm doing something is happening, come on. Cheers Theo oh I just have to eat it quick that's a tip oh yeah heat trick how do you find local places to eat when you're on the road? Do you scream? I call Joey Diaz, oh man he could tell you when you're 70 feet away.

Far from a good reuben bruh anywhere in America the guy is like a GP s-a-m-m-i-c-h bro dude could oh yeah you're 40 yards from a turkey with a matchlock or something you know I'm in buffalo he's like ah, Look across the street, you see a bowling alley like yeah, he's like look to the right, there's an old lady out there, I said, yeah, she's smoking, yeah, get in there, bro, like the guy's talking very strange bro

dark

art store is going to Australia in May yeah what are you waiting for? what you fear most and what you're afraid of Stan uh well I'm afraid of snakes you know eight of the 11 most dangerous snakes that ever lived in Australia because they form webs you know what I'm saying you think they all ended up there, so things like that they have animals there that smoke weed that I've seen on the internet people talk, they sound, you know, they all sound like they have, you know, a little mini stroke or something, you know, it's cool and they're excited if Has anyone traveled around the country doing comedy what is a tourist attraction that was a big disappointment when you saw it in real life for me Stonehenge Stonehenge really yeah mate they don't give a damn Stonehenge is like a rest area there is like a place to pee there and eat a little bit, they're like every time they give you the pass like you're really here to see it and you go to see it and it's really not right at all, it's just like some rocks and like, but we do it so that this comes out thing as big as it is. there's a water slide it's literally right off the interstate like you think it's going to be a secret place and they don't give a man so I think they made it exciting for us you know okay

theo

von this is The Last touch we call it the last touch because it is tradition around here to put a little more in the last week.

Ah, brother, are you really making this up? No, you don't have to if you don't want to. ah I'll go deep with you buddy neil armstrong I'm buzz aldrin dad I'm ready to rearrange my chromosomes dog you know what I'm saying here we go autism and bro that right here uh there's a heat. baby hitter, okay Theo Van, well here we are, at the end of our career, we're at the top of the Kilimanjaro

spicy

wing and as your fans know, you've been leading this charge against the

dark

arts

for years on your podcast, so on this one.

Alas, we hope you can shine some of that light on our sexy viewers at home, yes sir, hot sauce is part of the bright

arts

, it's part of the dark arts, I thought it was a lot darker than I thought it was was going to be. I'll be a much darker man, but I think you really illuminate it, thanks Theo, so I think it depends on who your link is, I think who your leader is, because yeah, this could have gone, this could have gone very sideways, I think if I was with someone else, you know, do the best you can, even sometimes, if you don't want to, that's great advice, Theo Vaughn, and look at you, 10 chicken

wings

up, 10 chicken

wings

down, you Mom would be so proud and now there's nothing, Charlie. also rip charlie rip charlie and now I'm going to roll out the red carpet for you my friend this camera this camera this camera let people know what you're going through in your life oh um I'll do the dark arts tour live comedy in different cities in the United States and the world and outside of that, I have a podcast called last weekend and a new podcast with my friend brendan schaub called the king and the sting and I think they're both pretty fun and um.

I'm honored to sit in a seat where a lot of other people who admire have sat, so I really appreciate you inviting me, man this is super cool, that's how I remember watching this and being like, "oh man, that ". It would be great to do that one day, so thank you everyone, thank you, good job, good job, people vomit. Wow, hey, what's happening everyone? This is Sean Evans, checking in with a quick update on hot sauce if you want to try classic Lois. hot so the latest twist on ducks heatness.com heatness.com has you covered, if hot sauce isn't your thing maybe check out a t-shirt or hoodie at shop.complex.com and if nothing of that interests you, I have Lately I have been really into matcha, matcha lattes, smoothies, matcha pudding, I don't know how I spent 32 years on this planet without discovering matcha, but now I have discovered it and it has been a complete change of game.

We don't sell any matcha products, but I'm just saying you should try it.