The Worst Dating Show Contestant On TV (The Bachelorette)

Hi, I'm Jarvis J. a YouTuber from San Francisco California and I'm honestly just hoping to find love. Oh man, this is a YouTube video. Yes, I should get rid of this accent much better. Is it much better? I look like someone is trying to buy. dwayne johnson on desire today we're going to talk about Bachelorette which is a game

show

about marriages where when true love can't be right now, I talked about The Bachelor before which is the exact same

show

with the gender swapped but just in case. You missed that, all you really need to know is that thirty carefully selected copies of the exact same person are competing for the love of someone they've known for nine weeks.

Last time our star was Colton, a 26-year-old unemployed virgin, and she broke up with him. getting rejected for his final choice and running away, yeah that's really what happened, he just jumped the fence anyway, the Bachelor and the Bachelorette have this symbiotic relationship where someone who doesn't win the Bachelor becomes the Bachelorette and vice versa and as such. This season, our star is one of two Alabama girls named Hannah for blowout season, specifically Hannah Beat, but because the other hand still exists in the Bachelor Cinematic Universe, we're expected to call her Hannah Hannah B everything. time, Single.

I finished last week and it was stupid. I thought last season was dumb, but this season was dumb. This is the definition of a psychopath who is the complete opposite of me, so that's what we're going to talk about today because it's all I can think about. You would think that a show about marriage would have marriage-worthy

contestant

s, right, it's reasonable to think not, with very few exceptions, the guys on the show are just as bad and also very dumb like Hannah, who is a very genuine and cheerful. She got her heart broken last season by Colton, who just randomly introduced her to his family very early in the show and then eliminated her and I don't know if I'm there, so now it's Hannah who falls in love and surrounds her with the

worst

types. in the world Hannah, this package is complete without you The Bachelor is apparently known for its cringey intro, some may remember last season where a girl showed up in a sloth costume and didn't break character for much longer than necessary and is a sloth . and this season is no exception because the shaming started even before the show did, at the end of the last season of The Bachelor, they announced Hannah as the Bachelorette and then introduced her to her first guys as if they were mocking the new season, the first of which was introduced. rapping I just wanted to say when they said it was you it was a nice surprise now stay here look yourself straight in the eyes all the other guys made me feel so stressed so I say all aboard the hot mess express this is the camera and he is the First sex guide heartthrob I want to talk about today in Kim's official bio for the show.

They identify him as the life of the party. What parties is this boy's life about? Because I would like to avoid those parties. He also says he can freestyle. rap about anything, I mean, maybe I can rap freestyle, but if you take my hand and we go for a walk, this is the only time and Aggies will say it's time to roll and for some strange reason, to Hannah he really likes it, so when it comes time to formally introduce him on the show, he raps again. I have to keep the new lock and get out of the limo.

What do you know about me? This is the rap demo. It's a guys' camera and I'm back on the microphone. I'm trying to live it. As if he's living up to the hype or compression, Kim's wordplay is enough to propel him to the show's finale. Just kidding, he was eliminated quickly, but hey, not all guys are bad. There's Mike Navy's vet, who is hilarious and good, and by far the best person. on the show, isn't he also the most obvious choice to become the next Bachelor? Because, of course, he doesn't win the show because he's a good person.

Then, Tyler sees a 26-year-old contractor from Jupiter, Florida, who takes care of his sick father and is also chiseled in stone. I'm pretty sure Tyler came out of the season more popular than the Bachelorette herself to add another nonsense, there's John Paul Jones, a human Pokémon who is only able to say his own name, my name is. John Paul Jones, my friends call me John Paul Jones so you can call me John Paul Jones, what a lovable badass person, back to the serious candidates, we have Peter, a sentimental pilot who also fucks well, but we'll get to him later , unfortunately I don't.

I don't have time to introduce you to all the candidates because there are 30 of them, but luckily for me neither did the Bachelorette because most of these guys never get any screen time. They'll regularly cut a guy you've never seen before in your life only to find out he's getting cut this week Hannah gentlemen it's the final rose tonight when you're ready John Paul James like who is this guy he's been there the whole time just kidding that one not a

contestant

at all that's the youtuber Danny Gonzalez he's not single he's married but you see what I mean although he's just a good fit you can leave now thanks Danny even the favorite and eventual winner of the show which we haven't talked yet, he barely has any screen time because this random guy, oh sorry, villain dominates the entire season.

I said spoiler alert but spoiler alert. These episodes last about two hours. I hope no one is binge watching The Bachelorette anyway, who is this guy taking up all the airtime you asked for? Is he? a seven-foot Adonis hero whose good looks and wit put him so far ahead of the competition that you wonder why they didn't end the show after episode 1 or he's an intellectual villain who uses superior intellect and cunning to maneuver. way to Hannah's heart and a good heart, nor is he a five-nine Bible study leader with an anger management problem in the high energy of Napoleon.

Also, he looks like a bitmoji, he looks like a bitmoji. I don't know who said this at first, but I think I read it on Twitter, but it's true, and his name is Luke P because of course it's Luke P, as far as I can tell, he has no redeeming qualities other than the fact that he's religious and I guess Hanna likes that because she manages to pull it off. until the end, more complete, although being super manipulative and horrible he didn't tell you anything with his first yes, yes, he would never lie to you, I blatantly lied, he's not even like a good villain that everyone loves to hate like plankton or Squidward, look , No.

I know a lot of villains, but this guy is just an aggressive, manipulative manchild, but he uses the fact that he and Hannah are religious to protect him from any criticism. Will I give you some examples of why Luke P is dumb and bad? I hope so, because that's what I'm about to do stay there because that's happening right now number one, it looks like a bitmoji. I already said number two, they go to Rhode Island for some reason to play rugby, obviously they forgot a lot of the details, but Luke Peters does a random bodyslam.

This cute little golden doodle of a person is the kind of person you would like, God forbid, as you know, you hurt someone today, he dies, he doesn't have the ball, we can see him here in the background and they definitely added likes . a punching sound effect from an action movie and then Luke P tries to make it look like he was defending himself against Luke. Oh, by the way, they're both called Lucas, because of how you think you feel like you're the cause of us. not being the happiest right now I'm not really the cause or obviously his defense doesn't work with any of the guys because this Widow guy means no harm and to me I really thought he was defending me because he pulls you defending. you against Lopez, except it somehow works on Hannah and she takes his side and takes out the other guy number three, when Hannah finally takes out the bitmoji man he decides not to respect her wishes when she says no and just goes back to the set.

He didn't get a rose, but Hannah says she still wants him to be here. How is that allowed? The producers wanted some drama. Number four, there's this part where he puts something stupid in someone's lap. It's very strange what this is. it's a load of bullshit look at that, yeah i don't know what the hell this is, he gets irritated so easily that everyone starts trolling him, that's cool, she asked me what's been going on lately, you're a bitch, i'm a weasel. weasel or snake is the best way to become a snake, yes, yes, really. Luke is a psychopath, the snake man.

I think I've been nothing but honest with Hanna and you're not going to ruin it. Okay, number five. Luke finally gets eliminated during the fantasy suites, which is supposed to be when all the couples, how should I say bow-chicka-wow-wow, and Luke in the infinite wisdom of him tells Hanna that he shouldn't sleep with none of the other guys? I just want to make sure you don't leave. be sexually intimate with you know the other relationships here because it's not what a good Christian girl would do if she told me that she was having sex or that she had sex with one or several of these guys that she would be wanting. go home and then Hanna says wait what and Lucas says yeah remember I'm super controlling and use my religion as a weapon.

I'm doing that right now, that's what I'm doing and then Hanna says, oh wait, no, I'm realizing right now that I don't really like that and she tries to eliminate it. I don't want you to be my husband. Wait, please, and then Luke B says, "Remember, the thing about me is that I don't leave when you tell me to." Me, because I don't respect you or your limits, I'm five-nine tall and every time I instigate something with one of the other guys, they stand up to reveal how physically overmatched I am. I'm also a bad representative of Short Kings. everywhere, yeah, that's me and then Hanna says, well, Peter and I are going to windmill twice and then, and I'm not kidding, the bar I was at burst into applause and, by the way, after that this happened, if they had a live show where there were people. wearing windmill merch so it's weird but hey Luke P was finally defeated just kidding he came back and I thought after sending me in the van there was no way I'd want to be with her anymore uh yeah , what a strange thought to have after the last one.

What she told me and is sadly wrong is that someone else has serial killer vibes like he doesn't. This is not like a movie villain. You are all sadly wrong. She doesn't realize that she still loves her. No, she knows. I don't know yet, but I'm on my way and I'm going. Someone calls the police. If you imagine you want to open, you pick up your phone, you have a message like this, it's like you weren't expecting it. but I'm coming, that's a threat, that's harassment, this shouldn't be a drama. I want to show him how serious I am about this and then he just so happens to have an engagement ring like the producers didn't do that.

Pass that to him for the shot. I'm going to need you to look directly into the camera like you're filming this yourself even though we have a camera crew here and why don't you tell us your craziest dentist? eyes yeah that's perfect oh and take this ring imagine Hana chooses heaven and then breaks up with him and he's like standing outside her door because he needs to get some things off his chest but the show keeps playing with that's like it's not so Seriously, it's like they got him a van that gave him a ring, they brought him here, they told him during filming that not only did he like her, he didn't just barge in, no, I'm just going to do a little supercut of the. stand your ground because I don't even want to make fun of it because it's so disturbing, come on, Hannah.

I'm going to stay here all day until you know you're not. I need clarity right now. I won't leave until at least I have closure, you'll leave because I already sent you home. Our relationships work through communication. Well, you and listen, I'm on the bright side. I guess Hannah will have another moment to completely shut it down. The guys who are all you know are bigger, taller and stronger than him finally intervene and he looks so confused as to what the problem is: put your hands, yeah, what are you going to do? Hanna, yes, what do you want?

What are you talking about? What do you want? she's eliminated twice this is so stupid it's all up to you no it's not honestly because she came out like a million times and the other night it was clear to me that there is something disturbing to me about the fact that we continue to subject Hanna to all of these guys who would just put her in ridiculous, emotionally manipulative situations so it could be the most dramatic season yet or whatever, like Hanna posted on her Instagram stories where when she felt overwhelmed she would just stare at a wall and The image is Pretty funny and I'm glad she's able to brush it off, but this is really dark and then the show finally realizes that everyone hated that guy and is also complicit in tolerating his behavior that's toxic to her.

The season was subjected to a question and answer sessionvery awkward responses with Chris Harrison, the nine-thousand-year-old Time Lord who hosts the show. If he could go back, he wouldn't change anything, nothing that the guy can't even answer simple yes or no questions. That the kind of woman you want is someone you can put on a shelf in a glass case and hold down when you need it, the last thing I want and the last thing I will do is control a woman, even if she is a man. She's supposed to be the leader and the guy, the woman in the relationship, there she is and then they bring out the rest of the guys to destroy Luke one by one.

Luke, we didn't have any immediate drama, you and I, but I for one am grateful. to you because you're making me look like a fucking saint and it's very cathartic, but we shouldn't have gotten to this place when Luke asks him, hey, why did you lie to Hanna about me and effectively end my time on the show? Well, why did you do that? she just completely shuts down because the answer is that she's a horrible person. I feel like Luke hasn't learned anything at all. I think you're a narcissistic, grumpy misogynist. Mike dusted off the office thesaurus before leaving.

The

worst

part of this is that Hannah walks out and she feels like she has to apologize to Luke P like it's her fault. I just want to say bachelor nation. I'm sorry you hate seeing it so with Luke defeated we are left with our last three Peter the pilot Tyler sees. The perfect thing about Jed, the musician in quotes, Megamind, is that body shame. I feel like I can say it because I have five heads too, so before we jump into the Jed saga, Peter gets eliminated, it's so sad that he took. Hanna flew her to her hometown and introduced her to her family, each member of whom cried independently, which is adorable.

They share a meal which, of course, begins with them shouting in German. In the end, Peter was too good at sex, so he gets it. he eliminated and is then forced to do an interview with Android 16, who was trying so hard to convince us that he understands human emotions. I see the tears in your eyes. I see I look around this studio audience tears and tears and your mom and your dad, your brother. Tears and I can see the emotion on your face and then they also brought in his family, presumably to see if they could make them cry, and Chris Harrison, who is slowly but surely developing self-awareness, dare I say it's the most dramatic season. from paradise, but that's right, I said it, you're welcome, it's going to imply that they shouldn't talk about sex in front of Peter's mother.

Peter's mother is right, saying that her father should be proud of how good a son is at sex. Like five seconds Peter's father's chest is swollen. It's the old-fashioned kind of show. Anyway, now it's Tyler's turn to see who needs him. I remind you that he is literally perfect and jet, so let's get into Jet. We are meant to. I think Jet is a musician because it's literally the only thing he talks about the entire season. I am a musician and composer. He sings songs at every opportunity and then, and they are bad too. I want to go in, why were we subjected to this?

There's definitely a double standard about how much this guy promotes himself because very early in the show, right after Luke Peabody criticized man's best friend, bless his little heart, Luke Pete told Hannah that Luke was only on the show because his tequila business, as always. talking about his brand and his liquor company and I never heard him talk about you, which is true because he never talked about it and plus it doesn't exist, it's not even a business yet, but they took it down because that's unacceptable. . Meanwhile, Jed, who literally sings and plays guitar every waking moment, sits down with Hannah where you're usually supposed to share something very personal like opening up or whatever about some difficulty.

The Bachelor is very formulaic, it's a difficult conversation. Sorry, the disturbing story Jed chooses to tell is how he initially got on the show, wait for it because of his music career, this is like a huge platform, but then, wow, he fell in love with it. He was open to the idea because I love. I love it, I love it, yeah, and now he's only here for love, he's no longer here for his music career. No, not at all, just love and Hannah is great, thanks for being honest all season long. Everyone from every corner tells Hannah that Jed is only here for his music career, including his family.

I mean, it's a dream way to date, yeah, and I know Jed is just another guy, but he's not. Oh yes, I can ask Jed's mother and sister if he would be ready to get married. and they both say no, do you feel like Jed would be at a point in his life where he would be ready for that? I don't know how before just because he and the musicians yeah you don't give a damn about the diploma mmm-hmm being a musician well that's not true does that worry you at all like he can't fully concentrate on the music of he?

Making music makes him so happy and he honestly likes that he potentially falls in love with you. I'm like and I'm not sure he's a Good thing this doesn't give a shit and then Hanna's family meets Jen and hates him too. Oh, how do you feel about Jen and I together? He has qualities and for some reason the only thing Hanna wants to talk about is what they are like. They're going to make money like they're not going to use their millions of Instagram followers to sell subscription vitamins, but even so the man of the house still has his obligations to someone should tell these people about influencer marketing through these conversations with Hanna's family, we found out. that Jed's claim to fame is wait for it, a dog food jingle, you know, at this point, my biggest accomplishment is that I signed a deal with a dog food company, don't worry about my ability to take care of your daughter, good Sara, to me.

I have written a jingle dog really deserves the best. Go buy something edible. I mentioned his Spotify, which has a whopping 30,000 subscribers, which caught my attention when Danny Gonzales, who was a contestant on The Bachelorette, tweeted about this. It only has three songs. and he hasn't posted anything since The Bachelor came out, shouldn't he be trying to cash in on this? It's not like I'm his manager or anything but it seems like a missed opportunity, somehow none of this deters Hannah and he makes it to The Final Two where Hannah rejects Tyler, who is perfect at Jed, who enters the picture with a guitar in his hand, he proposes to her with a song and it's the worst thing in the world after everything you've been through and he still wins.

I am committed to you. we're engaged ring we're engaged together Wow, we're getting married Alexa, what do you think this can only be described as embarrassing, huh? What is it? It's an ending that no one expected, even less so. Hannah conveniently warns of a plot twist and with Just before the end of the season, an article comes out in People magazine from someone who claims to be Jed's girlfriend, detailing how she came to the show because of the surprise of her musical career, to Despite their very serious relationship, he tricked her into being on the show and the show suddenly switches to a Shane Dawson documentary where now we're airing this couple's dirty laundry in public and now is where it suddenly becomes clear that this guy only cares about himself.

Although he didn't have a girlfriend, so I didn't feel like it was a relationship. He claims they weren't

dating

, but then goes on to say that they took several trips together. He had met his family. His parents had gotten him a trip to the Bahamas. It was her birthday and I told her I loved her, we only went out a couple of times but she threw me a surprise birthday party. Her parents bought us a trip to the Bahamas together. It's something perfectly normal. What else? Oh, I also told her I loved her, but I'm not very proud of it.

He is so bad at acting. You don't worry about the crown chamber. Let's be realistic too. What do you mean this whole show is about crying on camera? Do you think crying on camera? It's going to make you look worse so we find out about all these ridiculous things that have happened since the show ended, like Jed has been bragging to his friends that he won the show instead of, I don't know, saying that you're engaged to your Love. life I got engaged to someone I love, which is a better way to say it. Also some random models showed up in his hotel room and he got separated from it.

Yeah, we didn't even know who they were. Uther Man Pool did it. So how were things when he came on the show? Easy, he didn't do it. He broke up with her. It's difficult to me. I ended up in my heart not terribly. I know, so they broke up and then they have to do what The Bachelor does. does and has a live show where they bring out Jed and the best part is how awkward the lack of applause is when he comes out, ladies and gentlemen, Jed, so it sucks, but then they bring out Tyler and allude to a possible revival. about their romance, you just asked Tyler out one day and I don't think anyone told Chris Harrison that the show is over because he keeps trying to get involved in his personal lives, so just to be clear, let's try ?

In this, no, Chris Harrison, they are going to try to pee. I think I speak for everyone when we can send this to you so the show ends and Tyler and Hannah finally get together. Probably not because Tyler is

dating

Gigi Hadid now or. One thing I wanted to talk about about this show is that it likes to pretend that it's like helping these good old-fashioned people find love, but in practice it's just another reality show, in fact it's probably more dishonest because at the same time less Real Housewives knows what. It is and is not trying to present it as something more polished.

Also, it's funny to me that between this season and last they're getting more and more ridiculous in the way people don't get married in the marriage game. show I think the show is fun to watch mainly because of the community around it and the content of the show rather than liking the show itself. I also think they need to improve because they like to act like they're on Joking, but if you're looking at Luke Peace's toxic behavior for an entire season, I find it pretty lacking in self-awareness, like they definitely go through a lot. time towards the end going back on the initial decisions they made and I'm trying to sleep with Luke, pee, and Jed for being horrible people, but maybe I just won't have them in the first place next time, that's an idea, so? where do we go from now on?

I, for one, will catch up. bachelor in paradise now that I've finished this video and I'm patiently waiting for them to announce Mike as the next bachelor. Also his last name is Johnson but he is not related. I thank you. Thanks to everyone who took the poll I posted a while ago, but specifically thanks to Leilani V for the MT song, I have no idea if I'm saying this right, if you want me to cut your name you can, if you want me to put you on your name, follow me on Instagram and send me a message. about it and tell me what to slaughter and follow me because if you're not following me I just want to thank you, and another update is that I've been traveling a lot and a little stressed about things I'm moving on very soon. so I'll take a break for a few weeks after this video and then I'll come back with the same or lower quality than before, see you.