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The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Nostalgia Critic

May 31, 2021
women. Not "How long have I been out?" or "What happened over the centuries?" or "Has Disney bought everything by now?" But Cage tries to stop them and they have... well, there's only one way to put it: a magician's duel. Mad Madam Mim: Don't disappear! Tony: π—¦π—§π—”π—§π—¨π—˜β€½ π—œ π—šπ—’π—§ 𝗔 𝗦𝗖𝗒π—₯π—˜ 𝗧𝗒 π—¦π—˜π—§π—§π—Ÿπ—˜! You know, could we include more New York statues in this? I want to see Vladimir Lenin, Eleanor Roosevelt and Balto fight to the death. Then we'll have the Statue of Liberty level the city to the tune of Higher and Higher. Critic: This movie is already pretty stolen. Tony: Haven't you learned anything?
the sorcerer s apprentice   nostalgia critic
It's not stealing if you admit it's theft. Just have Dave say, "Hey, that looks like Ghostbusters 2!" Problem solved. Woman: Tony: Cage takes out Morgana and for no reason, Dave can fight her without her ring because... something, something, ruby ​​slippers. Critic: β™« I have cast a spell on you! β™« β™« And now you're gone! β™« David: But I'm not alone! I brought a little science with me! Tony: Yes, the science of a mop that can move on its own. RULES OF SCIENCE! Reviewer: Well, I guess you could say that the mop... cleaned up this mess. Tony: So Morgana is destroyed and oh no, it seems Cage is too.
the sorcerer s apprentice   nostalgia critic

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David: Nononono, this isn't over, he can't die! I just... No... not now! Critic: Wow, I can't believe they killed off the main character in a Disney movie. Tony: Yes, like Snow White and Pinocchio and Trusty and Aurora and Darby O'Gill and Baloo and Robin Hood and Chief and Gurgi and Basil and The Beast and Iago and Esmeralda and Megara and Giselle and WALL-E and Flynn and Iron Man and Ralph , Anna and Baymax. Critic: Well, I, for one, am shocked. David: That's not enough. You... you, with all your stupid rules! And all those old men's shoes! You are constantly saving me with that look in your eyes!
the sorcerer s apprentice   nostalgia critic
Critic: You'll think you're... watching a movie. Tony: Of course, Cage returns and Dave reunites with his totally useless girlfriend and they fly the eagle to Isengard to rescue Gandalf. Critic: And that was Nicolas Cage and The Sorcerer's Apprentice. How is this not fun? Tony: One of the biggest creative risks of Walt Disney's career has turned into one of the least creatively risky films I've ever seen. The tired story of the chosen one is more than half necessary and not even well done. There is no build for it. He goes from incompetent to all-powerful at the end like an on/off switch.
the sorcerer s apprentice   nostalgia critic
Reviewer: Sometimes there are pretty cool effects or a pretty cool performance by Alfred Molina, but that's all there is, just something cool. Tony: Do you know that most Disney Bruckheimer movies are incredibly long two-and-a-half-hour monstrosities? It looks like they filmed it to be one of those, but then cut it down to 45 hours. So it still has the bloated structure of a long movie, which makes it seem longer than it actually is. Not even Nicolas Cage as a damn


can make it interesting! Reviewer: It sucks to see Nicolas Cage go from incredibly good to incredibly bad to just plain bad.
And I can tell you that, averaging 6 movies a year, I won't fall for the Nicolas Cage hype train again. Maybe at some point, we'll have one of those incredible performances again. But until then, I won't be so gullible! Hello? Corey Taylor (?): Hi, I'm Corey Taylor. Review: Corey Taylor, Slipknot vocalist? Corey Taylor (?): And Stone Sour, yeah. Reviewer: And let me guess, you're in the other room with...Chester A. Boom, Hyper Fangirl, Black Willy Wonka, Rob Scallon and...your son Griff, inviting us to go on ice cream truck ? Corey Taylor (?): Actually, that's exactly it. Critic: Screw you, buddy!
I'm smarter than you think! Tony: Proud of you, man. Critic: Thank you. Chester A. Boom: Well? Corey Taylor: He said no. Hyper Fangirl: Oh, that's a shame. Rob Scallon: At least we tried. Black Willy Wonka: Oh, well. Corey Taylor: Hmm, I guess we'll go on tour without him. Black Willy Wonka: Mm-hmm. David: Uh...uh...uh...what the hell is this?

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