The Power to Design a Life You Love | Hassan Akmal | TEDxColumbiaUniversity

If you don't

design

your

life

, someone else will

design

it for you, we should always be in the driver's seat of our lives, not in the back seat, not in the passenger seat, success is an idea, but is it your idea or someone else's? Almost everything is perspective. I used to think that success would lead to happiness. It was all everyone told me growing up, but in 2003, while helping serve five million refugees on the Kandahar border in Afghanistan, everything changed. Suddenly I was left with the muzzle. of a machine gun through my back that moment changed my

life

forever surviving a near kidnapping made me realize that our lives are as delicate as the hourglass and time is something we lose with every breath that will never be redeemed culture The one I grew up in was obsessed with success, no matter where I looked, that was the only thing people seemed to care about, so I sacrificed everything and with tenacity and conviction I pushed myself harder and harder to pursue my dreams and climb the career ladder. or what I call my professional wish list.

I was a light sleeper but I dreamed a lot after studying late into the night. He spent early mornings like a young aspiring professional athlete bravely running to the top of the dune. With each step, my foot sank, but I kept climbing after all. It was going up. a mountain made of sand that I wasn't climbing to prove something to someone else, I was climbing for myself. You see, this is analogous to my career and life trajectory, no matter how difficult or volatile it was to master my way to the next promotion. I had to keep going, but even when you reach the top of the org chart and achieve career mastery, it doesn't end there, we're all still wondering what's next, so I finally paused and decided to restart to reflect and look down only to I realize that those who told me that success was the end all could not have been further from the truth.

I knew that success was important. The data tells us that success affects the quality of our lives, but the latest research says only to a point. point, there is a limit, for example, household income is strongly related to emotional and personal well-being and a person's own assessment of quality of life. Changes in family income are important drivers of people's emotional lives and, in many cases, result in increased happiness, esp. from the poverty level and we cannot deny that the way we feel even affects inflammation in our bodies, yet the difference the marginal dollar makes in reducing negative emotions starts to drop to around seventy thousand dollars per year, seventy-five thousand dollars a year is the breaking point and it continues to fall becoming very low once you cross one hundred and fifty thousand and then it hits zero at two hundred thousand.

I witnessed this first hand, no matter how successful I have been, I still feel unfulfilled and empty inside. Have you ever personally defined success? There aren't many successful people who still go through depression today. Depression is one of the main causes of disability worldwide. How can this be? Somehow I innately knew that success alone could not be the purpose of life. I knew something was missing in life. Something else worth pursuing. So I broke free and overcame my limiting beliefs about wanting to be a doctor, even after entering medical school and having the opportunity to play tennis, and became a professional instead.

As I travel the world as a professional tennis player, my travels quickly became more about self-discovery. and less about the sport of tennis that I

love

so much, the inner game of tennis for me was not about tennis at all, but about a mentality. I was searching for more and as a result I started to experiment more, I started to experience life as As a young writer, I wanted the confidence and

power

to design a life that I

love

d, but I knew that to write my story I needed to focus on changing my perspective of self-criticism. to self-compassion, that means you must know yourself. also be kind to yourself understand that you are part of humanity and be aware of your thoughts and feelings in other words you matter this became my new life lens my quest for more was not the only one many people struggle with this and, like others, I wanted to know.

Why success isn't everything, so I asked my personal board of directors. Those mentors who are masters of their craft. They had cracked what I call the brain code. Reverse engineer your passions. Master them, transform them into skills, and then use them to solve problems. other people give back with a purpose and are the great teachers of their own lives then they said something profound they said success does not lead to happiness we have it the other way around happiness leads to when you are in touch with your true self you are happy repeat after me , base self, best self, base self, best self, So what is the purpose of life?

Ask yourselves if the happiness, success or freedom embedded in that question is the key to fulfillment, happiness is external, depending on what happens, satisfaction is internal, we all want success and we all want satisfaction but they are not the same satisfaction is much deeper, more meaningful and freedom, so let's use our freedom to discover and discover the five secrets to mastering career and life. Happiness does not come from a perfect life or from being perfect and everything beautiful. things have unique imperfections your scars wounds and flaws are your beauty like broken objects mended with gold we are all kintsugi breaking and mending are all honest parts of who we are and should be celebrated not hidden every heart is damaged some of your hearts You are broken right now, but you are all more beautiful for having been broken, this is the first secret to mastering career and life, mastery of resilience multiplies with resilience, resilience plays an important role in who we are and who we become, our lives have a natural course, acceptance of this. reality allows you to trust that wherever you are is exactly where you are supposed to be so you can learn and grow like in Afghanistan, the deepest and darkest challenges can be the most transformative if you trust your strength, know that you are enough and have the utmost confidence that you have the ability to get to the other side of whatever it is that brings you that pain or discomfort at the beginning of last year I had the greatest feeling of pride of being a turning point between decades without knowing what was to come.

I was scheduled to give this Ted Talk in May 2020, but instead we found ourselves in the twilight zone, our careers, our lives were disrupted, full of confusion, full of loss, unemployment was the highest it had ever been. Seen in 45 years, the year 2020 was a moment of turning point and for deep reflection and resilience, this new decade began with the tragedy of the death of Kobe Bryant 24. Coincidentally, February 24 was the day of his tribute, the same day i started a new role at ucla where i would lead an ambitious re-imagining of the career center i heard eight applause go bruins kobe the perfectionist par excellence was without a doubt a master in the art of basketball but what many people don't realize is that kobe's mentality is more inspiring than his incredible athleticism paying tribute to kobe in The beginning of a transformative era in history is an honor for me, it reminds me of the lessons he brought not only to the city of angels where he is loved , but to everyone.

In eight moments of silence, let us remember this and ask ourselves if there is more to life. that there clearly is success, he discovered from the beginning what is intrinsically important in life: living in love as if there were no tomorrow. Our pasts crossed paths many times on campus and in Beverly Hills. With his grandmother, he taught me the importance of improving my skills to retrain and enhance skills. Giving your best in and out of your comfort zone and giving back will accelerate your path to career and life mastery focus is the next secret to career and life mastery we all need focus we have to focus and sometimes refocusing the vision within us is not about that Sight is about perception, we must train our minds to focus and rebalance how many of you own a pair of binoculars or enjoy sightseeing.

Binoculars magnify objects that are far away and have prisms that must be aligned to correct the images formed by the ejector lenses that you have to adjust through a process called calibration life also has calibration let's do an exercise close your eyes turn off your racing thoughts clean your mind imagine yourself at the highest point in the city of your choice imagine yourself sightseeing looking into the sunset for your north star the direction of your true purpose or your main goal the goal you are seeking your north star is a point where your purpose meets your faith let's take a moment to pause and reset our vision of career and life imagine coin operated binoculars right in front of you we will first calibrate the correct objective or life lens.

Imagine your life in the distant future as clearly as you would visualize the rest of today or next week. How much time would you have after work for yourself and your family? for your pets now the left lens or your career lens create a bucket list in your imagination what it would be like if time or money were never an issue where you would be working what you would be doing and why breathe deeply imagine your visions as a vision what is the nexus that can unite all your non-linear careers and integrate them into a meaningful path is what unites your experiences connects your careers with your life should be a panoramic lens without distinction between work and life a holistic lens a combined career vision and life is where you finally want to be your zenith the pinnacle of your career and the intersection of your life the highest peak above you has no end it has no beginning but it is where you long to be now imagine putting a quarter in the binoculars that work with coins reach the middle knob the one that says turn to clear your vision turn the knob and open your eyes think about the best archers in the world they all aim not only with one eye but use both eyes to dominate your career in life you must be an archer and master your vision where focus goes energy flows clarity leads to focus exists intuitively over time our minds become confused and doubt enters each year we must look back at our portfolio review and refocus each new The New Year's Eve, exactly at 11:59 p.m. m., the Times Square ball slowly descends 141 feet in 60 seconds along a specially designed flagpole, as if watching the sand in an hourglass drip slowly, one second at a time, one grain at a time.

Once again, New Yorkers and countless tourists from around the world look at the illuminated panel as if they were looking into the future and were mesmerized. Perspectives change over time as do the careers they evolve into every year we evolve since 1920. The ball has gone through a lot of changes and has finally become the Magnificent work of art that the world now sees as a crystal ball formed by almost 3,000 crystal triangles illuminated by more than 30,000 LED lights and each triangle lives a story of heartbreak and hope driven away by the light of a new horizon under that shining ball that we know.

Making our New Year's resolutions and promises to our loved ones but above all to ourselves is where some dreams end and others begin Down there nearby there is a magical place where the manifestations of these New Year's resolutions come true Our students and alumni love this place where they can be themselves and aspire to be whatever they want to be, they enter with hopes and dreams, with embers of fear, but they leave with aspirations of self-reinvention. I call it the career and life design lab. The path to meaningful work is spiritual, it is internal. creative design space without borders a sanctuary of self-reflection the design of your life outside its high doors a place full of energy and passion now lies empty your voice echoes alone across the distance where once the

power

of voices would fill the sky with promises as the former inaugural executive director of industry relations and career strategies at columbia university's professional design lab i remember fighting to build a new future for our students and graduates we planted seeds in the hearts of changemakers at heart from new york city this is a story about being a storyteller with no end date in sight this is about your story your true north the direction of the rest of your life we ​​all get asked what you want to be when you grow up doctor lawyer engineer how many of us or where do we imagine we would be?five or 20 years ago, our young people will now have at least 15 careers in their lifetime, many will have multiple careers and side jobs at the same time, Gallup research shows that in today's global workforce only 13 of the people are happy with their lives they are happy with their jobs and when we look at those who are emotionally connected and study why it is because they created their path forward, they paved their own paths, this is jackson, they asked him what do you want to be when you grow up, this was for a kindergarten class project most answered doctor firefighter baseball player etc. he said everything and he said it alone his kindergarten teacher was impressed like me and said he had never heard that answer before in 25 years, he is not what you can be but all he can be he knows how to disturb and not be disturbed.

I've spent over a decade consulting and counseling thousands of people around the world, coming full circle and discovering that we all need a greater purpose. That in ourselves purpose comes from the power of clarity is not found, it finds you This is the third secret to mastering career and life manifests in moments of inspiration and truth is revealed at turning points and when you have to go deeper to survive this is how you align this purpose that will give you the motivation to design a life you love, it doesn't matter what that purpose is as long as it is a true purpose, people with purpose live longer okinawa, a city that has the most density of centenarians who live to Aa the age of 100 years or more have demonstrated this through a concept called ikigai ikigai in Japanese means a reason for being is a fail-safe concept that will take you to your purpose it is time to interview yourself, not interview, dig deeper into yourself for answers to these questions what I love what the world needs what I'm good at what I can be rewarded for conversions of these four main elements is your disgusting type is your sweet spot as the sweet spot of my tennis racket here is an example like steve jobs mohammed bosdak loved calligraphy a calligrapher and musician from istanbul turkey as a young teenager he saw people playing instruments in the markets and saved money from his calligraphy work to buy yours.

He found a canon teacher and eventually began playing with other musicians on stage around Istanbul. The kanun is a descendant of the ancient Egyptian harp. It has played an integral role in Arabic music since the 10th century while earning a living from calligraphy after 5 pm become a musician mastering life is about balance loves both art forms and they provide different benefits and creative outlets, he says, with calligraphy it's more about technique and repetitive practice with music, it's about allowing Let your heart and your emotions follow where they take you. Freedom, career and vision of life is very similar to music, your life is a symphony of oops. and low you have to leave yourself free to feel and explore where it takes you like an exquisite flamenco dancer when they are in their element or me dancing at a mock wedding on the Columbia campus in broad daylight brought me back with music and beauty of his penmanship, these careers served as his disgusting boy and their balance made him happy and allowed him to earn a living.

Remember that the art of balancing vision is in our DNA, literally, we have major and minor groups in life and these paths must be aligned and parallel, otherwise they will clash or be too far apart and that will hinder your growth and progress andrea bocelli, The legendary blind opera singer says that singing provides a true sense of joy. If I sing when I am alone I feel wonderful. It is freedom. His zenith is not his high C but his high C. He sees with his heart not with his eyes the search for a life that you love really changes us helps us mature and we learn our ability to love the more you truly love, the better As a society, we can see that love is integral in all its forms to one's career in life.

Hate blinds us, hardens our hearts while love softens them. Love is the fourth secret for career and life. Love is the base. of our existence is the heart of career and mastery of life is also essential to fulfillment just ask alan saying george lives in havecrest castle america's best kept secret he and his late wife adrian built the castle for themselves account and they dedicated each piece to each other they are not architects but artists however as quickly as it began their love story was cut short by the death of Adrian the two made a promise a phrase that they live by their motto semper no es latin forever us is the idea that marriage goes beyond this life they design their life and their love story this love story is timeless alan teaches us how to make love your process not your result everything if this is not the next bollywood movie I don't know what resilience is, approach, purpose, love.

Before I tell you the ultimate secret to mastering career and life, let me tell you a story about my childhood, when I was seven years old. My father called all the children who were playing tag outside to quickly enter the bedroom and sit in a circle when they were children. The last thing we wanted to do, but this was my father, who always had a serious expression, as if he was daring someone to challenge him. I can still remember my father's intimidating look and his brow twisting into his inward scowl, we watched in amazement as my father served. crystal date seeds into a large bowl that was in the center of a bright sunlit rug and then said repeat after me, under the watchful eye of my father, we recited the 99+ attributes of God as if we were meditating while we moved the seeds one by one.

From the big bowl to the void, it was important for my father to see the sincerity in our eyes. Once finished, he would say it again and we would start again. When I looked back I realized he was programming our minds in a spiritual ritual like a tribe leader, my father knew this would stay with us until the end of days, madness or pure genius, eventually These spiritual enlightenment sessions intensified and became more fun as I recited zorsei, which means louder in my native language, every time we said it, my father. He wanted us to say it again with more passion, more meaning, more understanding and more seriousness, we did it and it resonated.

He was teaching us self-confidence and the ultimate secret to a career in life. A mastery mentality. A positive mindset is a choice. When my father had a huge stroke I was only 11 years old. As he lay on the stretcher he smiled without being able to speak and when he finally lost his sight, he squeezed my mother's hands as he heard our names. My father worked as a chemist all his life the night before the stroke. He called my brothers and me into the room and said one day I won't be here, take care of your mother.

He knew that my father used his freedom to come to the United States in search of a better quality of life for his wife and his children. His whole life he was resilient He lived with purpose He had focus and always had a love for giving back He had mastered his way of thinking and could stay positive even on his deathbed He wanted me to bring respect to the family His name Akmal means to be the most well-rounded No it's just about novelty, it's about mastery he wanted me to build a legacy that lasts forever after all legends live forever resilience focus purpose love mindset combine this with gratitude and you will be unstoppable career and life mastery is self mastery no Don't outsource the way you feel what you see or who you are success is not everything devotion to love is absolutely paramount Kobe said that happiness is a beautiful journey that has its ups and downs whether in life in marriage or in your career the things are It's never perfect but through love you continue to persevere you make it through that storm and then the sun emerges and then another storm comes and guess what you endure too if you change your perspective you can change your life if you change your way think. you can change the world the power to live the life you love comes from the freedom and clarity of your purpose and by being something beyond yourself we are all connected spiritually, physically, emotionally and metaphysically, whether we like it, realize it or turn our cheeks to each other.

The freedom to pursue a purpose is a privilege, it will elevate you, but we all deserve this privilege, most take it for granted, in the end we all have a heart that can see, for its sight is not the eyes but the soul, we can close the eyes to make it so. that we can dream but we open our eyes to be able to feel do not blink when humanity looks you in the eyes letting go of hatred gives you freedom freedom is the only condition for happiness the rest is inconsequential if you are free you are free to be happy in your own driver's seat until realization you are the author of your story it's time to remaster your story I leave you all with these words each of you has a purpose that develops from your passion and when one is at the point with that purpose can help change the world for the better what is your motivation thank you