The power of storytelling | Andrea Gibbs | TEDxPerth

Transcriber: Tanya Cushman Reviewer: Peter van de Ven I'm not a scientist, but I have a theory. I think the longer you've been single and the more boring your job is, the more likely you are to fall in love with someone you see at work every day. (Laughs) Whether it's a co-worker or a customer or, in my case, the delivery person. (Laughs) Eight years ago, I was working in a travel agency at Curtin University, and when I first got the job, I thought, "This is going to be great. Lots of cheap flights, lots of amazing adventures." It wasn't like that at all.

I'm done: Most of my days would consist of simply entering data and booking flights for 18-year-olds to embark on their space adventures, which, in reality, consist of simply crossing to the other side of the world and embarrassing ourselves by calling, "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" and then vomiting on themselves. (laughs) That's what they were doing, to be real. So I was kind of open to new opportunities, but there wasn't a lot going on. Except the delivery man. Now, the only problem was that he wasn't the delivery guy for our business; He was the delivery guy from the business next door, right?

So my whole relationship with him consisted of him walking past our big window and waving at me. (Laughter) And I waved back. And time would stop. (Laughs) We were so in love with each other. (Laughter) He Sometimes he would wave as he passed and then again as he returned. (Laughs) That was a great day. He was my Hawaiian island, you know, in a sea full of bookings for these Contiki tours. And I was the only single girl in the office at the time, an office full of girls. And which basically meant that the conversation revolved around me and my lack of sex life, right, and what I was trying to do on the weekends and failing miserably, how I couldn't be single anymore, how they were going to help me.

So every time this delivery guy walked by and he waved at me, he would scream and shout and get really excited. They'd say, "Oh my God, Andrea. He's so in love with you." You should go out and make a move against him." And I wanted to go out and make a move against him, but I didn't have the guts and to be honest, I thought he was like that, he was out of my league because he was really attractive and I usually prefer fat and nerdy guys because they're easier to catch (Laughs). They are: they have weak knees and get tired easily (Laughs). hand, but he was, you know, tall, broad-shouldered, with a chiseled jaw and a tight little bum, and really down-to-earth looking, like the kind of guy who could easily open a tinnie with my dad, which he is. like an Australian blue kangaroo farmer.

You know, that kind of person, don't worry. He was also quite cowardly, but at the same time, he was enjoying this little romance we had, you know, like it was really simple, innocent, beautiful. and without complications. It was like that moment when you're in high school and you're on a date for the first time, and you're sitting next to the guy, your knees or your pinkies touching, it was like electric. And I thought: "This is the beautiful beginning of the great love story that I am going to have in my life." It's, you know, the beginning of a movie.

It's one of those stories that gets passed down from generation to generation in the family: "Did you hear how Nana and Pop got together? It was so funny." And like I had my grandmother's funeral, which happened that year. I remember that at her wake we were all sitting and all of us, all of her friends and her family, were telling stories about her, beautiful stories about her life. And I thought, "Wow, in the end, that's all we really are, right? We're just stories." Stories are what our lives are made of. Stories: how we remember people. And stories make us feel a little less alone in the world.

But a story isn't a story unless something happens, right? And after 18 months (Laughs) of this wave routine, I was getting a little restless and something had to happen. (Laughs) And it would have to be something I did. So I decided to do something pretty big. I decided to quit my job. Not because I had another job to go to, but because I would finally be forced to make a move on this guy I had been in love with for the past 18 months. And I'm good with deadlines, so I had to do it before my last day.

So I told the girls at work and they were very excited, not about the quitting part but about what I was going to do to this guy, and they gave me suggestions on how to flirt with him. Like, "Just come out and say, 'Ah, nice package, dude.'" (Laughs) I said, "Leave the comedy to me. No, thank you." And also, you know, I wanted to continue with this non-verbal communication that we had already developed. I didn't want to go in there with all my strength. Me too - I was going through this stage where I was really addicted to Bob Dylan, and I loved his "Subterranean Homesick Blues" music video, where he shows the lyrics to his songs with these cards, and I thought, "That's what I'm going for." to do." That's what I'm going to do: I'll write love notes on cards and stalk it in the store window when I pass by on my last day.

So creative. (Laughs) So on my second to last day, I go home, I go through the stores, I buy these colored cards, I take them home and I write on them in big black text and then I see my handwriting. It's very complicated, so I asked my housemate, a graphic designer, to do it, because for some reason, I think when the delivery guy sees my messy handwriting, he'll say, "No deal." (laughs) So I took them to work with me on my last day, showed it to the girls and they were very impressed. In fact, they can't believe the effort I've put in and I tell them, "I wouldn't do anything less for the love of my life.

Come on, ladies." And we were working that morning; I'm typing on my computer. Anyone who walks past the store, we're all giddy with excitement. So we are looking at them. And it's 11:30, which is the time he normally arrives. I'm starting to get a little nervous; I start to freak out because I'm like, "I don't want to have to come in on Monday and do this without getting paid." (Laughs) And then 11:45 happens. He hasn't come yet. At 12:00, the store begins to fill with students booking flights. My coworkers say, "Stay around; there's about to be a show." So there's kind of an audience that's developing. 12:30 arrives and I start to give up, I get up to go out back to eat my lunch and, when I get up, I see him pass directly through the window.

And Shaz, my colleague, starts to panic and says, "Oh my God, you missed him. Andrea, you missed him." I said, "Calm down, Sharon. I wanted to walk him back. That way he could romantically take me to his truck after I'd done all his work." That doesn't sound good, does it? "Take me romantically in a van?" (laughs) Anyway, I started collecting my cards and told my boss to turn up the radio, you know, so it was like Ruckus's dead violin or something. (Laughs) And I see him leaving the store next door. I position myself near the window and just go for it. (Music: "Kiss" by Prince) (Laughter) (Laughter) (Laughter) (Laughter) (Greetings and applause) Thank you.

Thank you. I'm glad they appreciate it because he didn't. (Laughs) He couldn't even see half of the cards, right? Because I got to the card that said, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and he had a girlfriend. (Public) Awww. And I didn't have a plan B. I didn't know what to do; He was so embarrassed. And everyone who had been cheering me on throughout the routine suddenly stared at his computer, working. (Laughs) And I was so embarrassed and surprised that I just put my head behind the card, and I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me, but, you know, science, that doesn't happen.

But I tried to make it by leaning my head against the window and just sliding down the glass. (laughs) I was squatting on the floor, looking at him and thinking, "Go away, buddy. Go away." But he didn't, and Shaz says, "He's coming in. He's coming in." And he entered; I'm standing there red-faced. He says, "It's your last day, isn't it?" and I was like, “Yeah, buddy.” And he gives me a hug, which feels really good, true, but not that good, because it's like one of those horrible compassion hugs, like, "You'll be okay, buddy. You'll be okay." (Laughs) And that afternoon I work, very embarrassed, and the girls say, "Are you okay?" And I was like, "Yeah.

I'm totally fine. Do that all the time." (laughs) Try to pick up guys with cards, you know. I'm quite upset. I come home and cry a little, you know? And I wonder, "Who does that?" How did I think he could get away with this? As if life just wasn't like that. Know? "But," I think, "enough is enough." At least I brought some joy into his life, and now he has a story where someone made a big romantic gesture for him. And if he's ever feeling a little unloved, unhappy, or just mediocre, then when he thinks about that, it might make him smile and make him feel a little less alone in the world.

We can't always choose the stories we have in our lives, but if we take a risk and show that we are human and vulnerable, that's where the best stories are. Health. (Applause)