The Iron Throne - Game of Thrones' AWFUL final episode

It is one of the sadly inescapable truths of human existence that all good things come to an end, no matter how high we may rise, we must inevitably fall and so is it that the disastrous season 8 of Game of Thrones

final

ly falters into the finish line with the

iron

throne

. The

final

episode

of something that was once considered the greatest achievement in television. This is all. This is everything the show has been building to for a season. 73

episode

s. Dozens of hours of storytelling and world building and character development. All the victories and defeats. All alliances. and the betrayals, all the friendships and sacrifices, the heroes and villains, the triumphs and the heartbreaks, all A Song of Ice and Fire, it all comes down to this last piece of yes, it sucks, after everything achieved, Game of Thrones dies not with a bang but with a moan. and when I say moan I mean a wet, suspiciously warm fart at the end of a violent romantic conquest now it's no secret that I'm a man of many words and your struggle to find a most eloquent entertainment connoisseur on all of YouTube but it's hard even for me to express the magnitude of the disappointment, the waste of so many years of careful preparation and development, the abject failure of even the most basic elements of the narrative that is the Iron Throne, but I enjoy the challenges.

Let's begin, the episode begins after the new king of King's Landing. Tyrion takes a stroll through the not-so-bustling streets before heading to the red keep, which now looks suspiciously intact considering the whole thing exploded and collapsed at the end of the last episode, whatever, I guess the buildings have armor now too of plot when they contain iconic locations, those sets cost a lot of money, guys, we have to get our money's worth out of them, so since Tyrion has a spare copy of the script from the previous episode, he knows exactly where Jaime and Cersei went and heads to to the crypts to recover their bodies and they are carefully arranged beneath the layer of bricks so you can have a nice crime scene without witnessing the horrible effects of what hundreds of tons of rocks would actually do to a human body what's the point of this scene we know they are already dead why are you showing us these things again all you are doing is wasting time and telling us things we already know now that you start to I see the problem with killing two main characters in an isolated place where no one else can see it.

I was honestly hoping one of them would come to life with the last low blow, so I guess we should be grateful for the small mercies anyway, all the unsullied. and Dothraki who have regenerated since the Battle of Winterfell have gathered in the central plaza of King's Landing finite resources and casualties on the battlefield mean nothing now remember that armies can be as large or as small as the writers need and right now we need them. be huge, then Dany appears on a balcony to address her armies and it made me laugh because the whole scene was staged to look like the new Bogg rallies in Nazi Germany, a really subtle visual metaphor, guys, anyway, she gives a rousing speech about how everyone did a great job liberating King's Landing and everyone should feel really proud of themselves that Terry Funk, the idiot, literally keeps rising from the charred corpses of the thousands of innocent civilians you took down of killing with napalm and without a trace of It is an

iron

y that you stay there and call yourself the liberator.

I understand that they are trying to show how even the most despicable people try to mask their acts of cruelty by training them in positive and safe language, but seriously, this is just kidding. like a really horrible SNL parody that's basically everyone these days, but it's made simple because Danny won't rest until they've freed the entire world from the cruelty of being alive and everyone starts celebrating like they're really excited for the wars to come. which is the real Fukushima I just saw why are they happy with this? their forces have been devastated. They have lost their fleet, two of their dragons, and tens of thousands of troops.

They have inherited a devastated kingdom and a destroyed city. you are not in a position to conquer the world or anything else that would be like the Soviets standing in the ruins of Berlin in 1945 and being like big news, comrades, no, we are going to conquer America, bring out the vodka anyway, Arya Looking For. like he's getting ready for Ryan Johnson's ass, Danny and John say no, it'll be fine and then they both do absolutely nothing anyway because it's not time for John to act and the writers have had a clue what to do with our emergency room from episode three.

Abroad, then Tyrion shows up and hands in his resignation in front of everyone and Dany accuses him of being a traitor and he's like yeah, I totally am and that's it, they arrest him and take him away, oh boy, what have they done to you? made? The Tyrion I know. He would never have fallen so low, he would have found some way to fix things. I mean, there are countless ways for a smart, resourceful man to kill Danny and get revenge for what he's done, for example, he could poison her at dinner or sneak into her room and strangle her to death in the middle of the night or join forces. with the best assassin in Westeros or wait until he falls and shoot him in the chest with a crossbow, but instead he just walks into the middle of the Nuremberg rally. as a Bell finishes and surrenders to what the Dickens has given him, the treatment against the food virus here, once, a cunning and very intelligent character is reduced to pathetic simpletons to serve anything that happens in this story, of all Either way, Arias Rian Johnson's skills are still great. and down, I guess, then she tells John that he has to be the one to stop Danny, but it turns out that only he can do it now and John says no, it'll be fine, so John visits Tyrion in prison and Tyrion realizes You realize you are dealing with a complete disaster. he sits him down and patiently explains that nuking an entire city and killing tens of thousands of innocent people probably means Danny doesn't have what it takes to rule the Seven Kingdoms.

Are we really having this conversation like this? Isn't this an alcohol-induced fever dream of mine? This is real. This is in the script. Are you really trying to defend this murderous genocide or this megalomaniac lunatic that you fill out and utter? If the total destruction of King's Landing isn't enough for you, what? Will it really be necessary for you to realize that he has lost his mind? Surely then John leaves because the script decides it's time for him to act, so he heads to the Red Keep where Danny is alone in the

throne

room with no bodyguard or protection.

Look here. this place also had her plot armor on anyway she is playing with the Iron Throne and thinking of all the places she will liberate next don't fear the peasants every time she will have a Starbucks under my rule and John is like the bird that kills the irony and she like no, I'll be fine and he's fine then then the kiss and he stabs her and then she dies, I'm sure I'm not joking, that happens, that's in the script, what an indignity for one of the best characters that have emerged. This shows a character who made her way from practically nothing to become the most powerful ruler in the world. not a hint of remorse for what she has done. no attempt to explain her actions or apologize. no hint of suspicion that John might be there with bad intentions. even though she already knows that he doesn't love her and violently opposes his recent actions, no, she just goes for the kiss like a teenager in love and that's it, she dies without barely making a sound, what a waste, so of course the drugs appear anyway. and sees Danny dead, so he gets angry and burns the Iron Throne down and melts into a pool of disgusting molten slag, pretty emblematic of this entire season, to be honest, that's some dramatic irony at work, folks, the Iron Throne was forged in Dragon Fire and now.

It's undone the same way again, it's like poetry, so if they rhyme, shut up, then the dragon picks up Danny's body and carries him away and it's supposed to be all touching and emotional, but think about this, where does it go? did he take it anyway? I mean, I get that a simple boreal wouldn't be very great and a funeral pyre wouldn't work with it for obvious reasons, but really think about this for a second. DR. Gon won't be able to take care of the body, it's just a matter. of time before the animals get to her now you might be wondering how Gree Worm and her companions would feel if her queen were killed.

Well your guess is as good as mine because the episode cuts to another scene a few weeks later, Tyrion is summoned from prison to be sentenced for his crimes and it turns out that all the lords and ladies of Westeros are there to find out what he's supposed to do. What they need to do next and Arya and Brienne are there to increase the number of women we have. beat up those various equals since somehow the gendry boys are also there when the stormlord ends even though the only person who legitimized his rule is now dead, so he knows how that works, and lord davos is too running around even though he doesn't belong to any big house and doesn't represent anyone and he even admits he doesn't know why he's there pointing doesn't make him any less ridiculous guys so angry gray worms and wants John to die for murdering Danny because murdering Helpless people is so bad, don't you know people? in the glass houses buddy you're a war criminal you're constipated and you watch anyway everyone is debating what should happen next and somehow the conversation turns to who should be the next king because the rating can't support a conversation with any kind of logical structure and Edmure.

Tully gets up and makes a fool of himself, then Sansa tells him to shut up and sit down and he breaks up with Bell, then Samwell Tarly suggests a democratic voting process for the common people of Westeros and everyone has a good laugh about it and he sits down. . to Wow, crazy humor in the wake of a tragic death, that's what we need, the right people, then Tyrion starts talking and for some reason everyone listens to him even though he's a prisoner summoned for trial and what What happens next is something mind-blowing that I. In fact, I'm going to stop recording this now and rewatch the episode to make sure I really understood it, yes it's real, it happened, it was in the script, the actual working was approved, Tyrion considers the best person to rule Westeros is, are you kidding me? the guy who spent the last few seasons at war, take off your tits, the guy who doesn't even know where he is most of the time, the guy whose physical body is just a shell to keep his spaz domain tied down in the real world, This is the man.

Who is going to rebuild a devastated and divided Kingdom? This is the guy who will run his economy, his infrastructure, his relations with the rest of the world, his military and his politics, or is this his way of showing that disabled people can be rulers? I can. I don't take it that way, for some reason everyone thinks it's a good idea and everyone agrees and then the sunset demands that the north be an independent kingdom and you mark like yeah, whatever. I have more prehistoric wheelchairs to explore. I suspect you should get used to it. That kind of answer, guys, sure, so Jon's reward for saving the entire world is that he's forced to join the Night's Watch again because the gray worm and the unsullied really have some grouping power in this one, right? what the hell do the Night's Watch like?

One thing is why the White Walkers have already been Ryan Johnson and the wildlings are now his allies. What exactly are they supposed to look at? Now they're pulling these things out of their asses, right? Then Jon says goodbye to Sansa and her son Arya. says no, Queen of the North because why not, she's totally earned it and Ari has run out of things to do, but the writers didn't have the guts to kill her off, so she'll sail west and see what happens. I won't do it. Joking about this scene actually made me laugh because it's so forced and contrived that even the actors don't seem to know what's going on.

A character whose entire identity is based on being a killer who comes out of nowhere and decides to become Dora the Explorer. I'd be like John Wick deciding he wanted to work at Starbucks, no, whatever, Noa Tyrians, there's no hand of the king because why the hell doesn't he convince the small council and bronze there as master of the coin? I literally can't think of anyone less suited to the tasks anyway. A certain Tarly presents Tyrion with his story of everything that has happened up to this point and he calls it A Song of Ice and Fire.

Well, I never saw that Antarian coming a little embarrassed because they don't mention him in it and then Bran shows up. and he leaves again and they get down to business and they start arguing in some kind of joke and the scene ends like a pit or some cheesy nineties adventure series, like thisthat John returns to Castle Black and meets with the ghost so Marla can stop complaining. He then heads north beyond the wall with the wildlings to do something. I don't know if he is the King beyond the wall now. Is he making a new life with them?

Are there other Nights Watches that go with it? Whatever, who cares about this? Period and that's it, that is the plot of this episode and the ending of Game of Thrones, what a disaster, it is difficult to know where to start when analyzing this episode without repeating the same criticisms that I have made to the rest of this . series, everything that was bad in the rest of season 8 is much worse here, whether it's the crazy plot decisions that would never have been contemplated before, like Bran being made king of Westeros, the outright betrayals of the characters, like Danny's Great Dictator speech and the ridiculous death. scene or Jon will be an exile back to where he started in Nights Watch or maybe it's the fact that other characters are just blended right out of the story without explanation because the writers were too dumb and lazy to think of a proper resolution for them, so Aria leaves to explore the world, huh, yeah, that's what makes sense since it's over at this point, make it bronze master.

No currency, why not, I can't see him abusing his position, some time he is the grand master when he is barely thirty years old and completely inexperienced. Sure, I can't imagine anyone would object to those gray worms going off to make a new life with the unsullied. although now she totally wants John dead, who cares, everyone just accepts that Brienne is a knight now because Jaime got drunk one night and turned her into one, she'll be fine now, this whole episode smells good, we had to give them something to do in the construction of the world.

The consequences on the character have completely gone out the window. People say and do things they would never have contemplated two or three years ago. They accept decisions and suggestions that would have been left out of the room in previous seasons. The emotional tone of this episode is everything. about the place one moment we were contemplating the horrible consequences of the destruction of King's Landing and dealing with the sudden death of one of the most important characters in the entire show, the next we're supposed to be laughing at a pompous idiot who stumbled upon his sword or the small council having some light-hearted banter as if they hadn't just lived through the most apocalyptic conflict in history.

Game of Thrones at its best gives us a window into a world that seemed real and grounded. Bad decisions were often far-reaching. Consequences and characters who acted without considering the broader impact of their decisions often paid a high price for their mistakes. Truth and honor were not always rewarded. Cunning and betrayal were not always punished. The characters on the show lived in a world that was so harsh and unforgiving. as it was rich and varied and they had to learn and adapt quickly if they hoped to survive when you thought you had it figured out, you would learn that there was always someone smarter, more ruthless, more prepared than you, there was a feeling that everyone knew it. a little more than they let on, they were a little smarter and more capable than they wanted you to believe, it made them convincing, it made them interesting, it made them real and human, but in this season the valleys finally rose and the truth . was exposed and the simple truth is that there is nothing behind this, these characters are only as intelligent as Weiss and Benioff were capable of making them and it turns out that they are not great conspirators like Littlefinger Tyrion and varies they became irrelevant once the focus of the show went from political intrigues, alliances and betrayals, overly flashy battles, and while Tyrion made it to the end, probably because Dinklage was too popular to kill off, honestly, his real character died in season 6, Danny, who went from being a sympathetic refugee to a god.

As the Messiah the violent Conqueror suddenly becomes a murdered but he lets his biggest and most dangerous rival stab him with a knife in the chest because he still believed he could win her over. He's careless, he's lazy, he's horrible and the character deserves so much more. Military resources and buildings mean nothing, although armies that should have been crippled by overwhelming losses can be reformed into highly effective combat units in the space of a single episode. Castles that have been razed and destroyed by dragon fire in one episode are shown with only minor damage. in the next it's completely bonkers and destroys all sense of consequence and impact, ultimately the Iron Throne is the final humiliating nail in the coffin of a season that simply runs out of creative steam, destroying what's left of the integrity of the program, degrades it and makes it stupid. it tears down every character it touches and, in a very real sense, tarnishes what should have been a brilliant legacy as one of the best shows in television history.

People don't always remember how a story begins, but they do remember how it ends, especially if it ends badly. and the fact is, Game of Thrones has ended in the most disappointing way possible, but it's over and it's time for everyone to move on and forget the last eight years ever happened. I know I will. I have just what I need. Oh, and that's it. I have for today go now