The First ThanksgivingFeb 18, 2020
hello everyone Happy Thanksgiving I think it's great that Americans still celebrate Thanksgiving but there are some things about that
firstyear that went wrong, my friend Mr. Gobbles is going to help me tell you about that
thanksgivingthanks mary gobbly goo boo boo i love
thanksgivingyummy it all started in 1620 my people wanted to leave the old world so they could worship god i heard all about you being the pilgrims not exactly mr. gobble up they caught us apart the time pilgrims don't wear each other until 200 years later separatists aren't pilgrims but you're wearing pilgrim clothes drool we do it goo goo just look at the black dress with the white cap they made me wear this crazy costume for this cartoon not what we really wore our clothes were colorful they wouldn't catch me in a latrine on a dark night and this gets up so how did you get from the old world to the new world you gobbly goo fly i bet your arms were tired gobble up you can't get your kick whatever mom and dad bought three shares in the Mayflower Hudson Scott for five pounds each which would be $750 today the Mayflower carried 102 passengers and 26 crew members only half of us were separated the rest were called strangers that was a ship It wasn't that fancy We sucked on hay bale mattresses We spent the time singing Praying and telling stories Tell me a story I have to e think you love stories quiet bar bein what do you think I'm doing I'm telling a story you pil the shady ones bother to leave early I'm a separatist not a pilgrim remember the seas were stormy and we only had salty meats soften the fish oh , dried peas and stale bread too Oh where did you doodoo Mary huh where did you party? a bucket is ok we dumped it over the side of the ship thats gobbly goo nasty many people were sick first father that mother got sick when we got to the harbor my parents died gobbly goo sad when we got to plymouth colony i was so excited i jumped out of the Robo and ran to the shore.
I was the first woman to come to earth. Girls rule and turkeys rule. What is this rock with a carbonate year? There was no rock like this. Crap. I like the rock. Standish took care of me after my parents died. The first year was hard as we foraged for food and built houses. You got scared? Mary, I guess, but we were so busy I didn't think much of it. Squanto, a Native American, walked on a log. man taught Governor Radford how to plant corn oh you just put the seed in the ground cover the seat and water you got it you go too fast oh boy it's going to be a long year and why am I dressed in this ridiculous loincloth someone please bring me? something i would have actually worn and not just my underwear we don't get dressed so what do we do we put the seed in the ground now you need to fertilize the soil i recommend rotten fish gobbling goostin ok thanksgiving all that delicious food i am mr gobble but I grew corn and beans we were happy over half the people died but we were still thankful uh well monster gobble it's time to eat yeah uh um look at all that food uh mary what what's that? like a turkey to me they read me boy people eat well today Americans eat 46 million turkeys every Thanksgiving 46 million I think I'll fight first, you'll jump on my head and then you'll put me in a roast.
Wow, put your head back on Mr. Gobbles, we didn't eat turkeys in 1621. No, no, no, turkeys, no, neither pumpkin pies, but I do like pumpkin pie. get these clothes off ugh don't ask 9 d welp analogues join us for peace well i'm gobbling you up i'm glad you didn't need turkeys but if you didn't need turkeys and you didn't need pumpkin pie what did you do? eat mashed potatoes sweet potatoes I'm doubling your hunger we don't eat any of that e stuff that's a story and your men killed five deer and a loyal man killed some waterfowl we also ate pumpkin nuts and lobster lobster um now that's EE do more I like it no nom nom nom I love lobster no I didn't hear that Squanto brought popcorn why for the movie I don't think so after the vittles doesn't want Pato Wong people go back to their teepees to rest and watch football later while Pawan i didn't live in teepees their houses will call there too they are made of bark birch thanks my house may have looked like this but i don't keep running around in my underwear looks like a leprechaun it's a good place to raise a pet turkey uh maybe a turkey that couldn't talk so you ate thanksgiving dinner and everyone lived happily ever after uh we were thankful but then things weren't so peaceful disease and violence tore us apart and you started eating turkeys too still for three days you saw what thankfulness could do we gathered in what little crop we had and adjusted our houses and dwellings for the coming winter being well restored in health and strength and had all the things in good abundance I look over the land and the sun shines in the wind that awakens the land your God our spirit is good upon this land where the beans and the squash come and we thank him happy thanksgiving everyone cow go vegetarian gobbly goo boo turkey tastes nasty bad turkey yeah you
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