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The Bad Seed

May 30, 2021
Hello boy! And welcome to... wait a minute where's my? Where is my book? What is it? What is happening right now? Ha ha! This is an acquisition! A what?! A KidTime StoryTime purchase by me, Maleficent the Witch! Wait a minute! Agree, hold. I didn't even know you knew our name. That? Story time for kids? Ah yes yes. No. Oh... huh. Where is my book? Uhhhh you what? my book uhhhh is it square? Uh huh pages inside? uh-huh uhhh are there a lot of drawings on it? Aha, yeah, that's it. I have no idea what you've done with my book?!
the bad seed
I don't know, but I brought my own selection Whaaaaat? Did you bring a book? Well, let me do this whatever you want to call it. BOO-BOO-BOOM! MAGIC. okay... it's The Bad Seed. Oh! OOOH, that's right! You should be afraid! I'm horrified (pretend you're horrified) I'm so scared! You should be scared because this book is really bad. Are you sure the

seed

is bad or could it be that I just misunderstood? No, it's bad because it's there in the title: BAD It's not the misunderstood

seed

. It's The BAD Seed. So you should read this now! (DEVILISH LAUGHTER) You're going to read it, right?
the bad seed

More Interesting Facts About,

the bad seed...

Well, yeah, because I don't know where my other book is. That's right, you don't, but neither do I. This is my history. (DEVILISH LAUGHTER) Okay, what the hell? I mean... I've never (never) seen Maleficent so excited about a book before, so I mean, it must be good, I mean, I hope... although it looks, it looks... is she smiling or is she frowning? I can't say I have a red crayon, well let's see what this bad seat is doing. I mean it can't be that bad. It's kind of cute. Go Go. oh look at all the other seeds inside Oooh there's an acorn and all kinds of seeds that I can't even name because I'm not that good of a seed-name the bad seed it's so bad it's bad!
the bad seed
I'm a bad seed ba-bum ba-bum bum-bum-bum-bum-bum A bad seed. It looks so bad... oh yes, it's totally true the other seeds look at me and say: that seed is so bad, when they think I'm not listening they murmur: There goes The BAD Seed! Oh no! OOOH! I'm afraid! Hug me! Grrrr! but I can hear them. I have a very good ear for a seed, how bad am I? buh buh buh ba ba ba ba boom do you really want to know? Yes... ba ba ba bum bum bum bum bum Oh no! Oh no! Oooh... Is that a pistachio? delicious good I never put things back in their place no, no the cart returns to the side of the cart oh!!
the bad seed
I never left this behind. I'm late for everything. Boss: It's 9:21! Bad Seed is like wah-wah. I tell long jokes with no punchlines on comedy night (SNORE) And then I said... (SNORE) And then she said (SNORE) the worst. the bad seed comedian mm-hmm I never wash my hands (ew!) or my feet (double ew-ew) I lie about meaningless things. (MEOWING) The cat did it. No, he didn't. You're holding the bat. No I'm not. He's lying about meaningless things right now! right in front of us! I stand in line every time oh no, no, no! He is bad! I look at everyone!
I look at everyone! (WAH-WAH-WAH!) How dare you make that crazy little baby cry? I finish everyone's sentences and never hear Ooooh, that's what bothers StoryTeller. I like to listen, I don't like to be interrupted, and I bet you don't either, and I do a lot of other bad things too, do you know why? Because I'm a bad seed! ba ba ba bum bum BA bum bum bum A baaaad seed. oh no... in the library playing drums that's super bad, I just can't help it. I'm sure I wasn't always so bad. Oh, backstory! I was born a humble seed of a simple sunflower in an ordinary field, oh, but it was extraordinarily pretty to my eyes.
I had a big family, seeds everywhere, we found ways to have fun, we were close, literally, they were close, they were all on top of that sunflower look they played music and read books together and this one had a tambourine, this one had a horn and this one painted this one had maracas... fun group! but then the petals fell and our flower fell (SCREAMS) I think I'm starting to see the beginning of a sad, sad backstory, it's kind of a blur I remember a bag Oh, fresh sunflower seeds! Delicious! Okay... I'm seeing what's going on here.
It was harvested from a sunflower to become a sunflower to eat in a bag. Everything went dark like it happened here and then, THEN and then what?!?! That?!? A GIANT!!! ~ oh nooo!!!! a giant holding the sunflowers, he's at a baseball game, I almost ate him I thought I was lost, I thought I was done, I screamed and screamed AAAAHHHHHHH but they spit me out at the last possible second (PTOO!) AAAAAH!!! I flew through the air and landed under the stands with a huge yeowww-THUD when I woke up it was dark outside a piece of gum had softened my fall I felt good but something had changed in me I had become a completely different seed I would turn into a bad one seed! pop pop pop pop boom bom bom bom bom poor guy... he's been through a lot A BAAAD SEED!
In case you didn't hear it before! dah dah dah dah dah, dah dah, dah dah that's it. I stopped smiling. No! I kept it to myself oh! I digressed oh! He was no one's friend and bad to everyone. I was lost on purpose. He lived inside a soda can. I didn't care and it suited me, you know why... until recently Oh! Are we having a plot twist? I have made a great decision. I have decided that I no longer want to be a bad seed. I'm ready to be happy. That?!?!?! I'm just reading the book you brought me, Maleficent.
This is not the ending I expected. This was going so well! Oh books, books! You always betray me! (WITCH CALLING!!!) I am the real bad seed. There is no other bad seed. I am the meanest of seeds and you could stop reading now. Phew! I'll keep reading anyway, I heard that! I know, I know (we'll move on) it's hard to be good when you're so bad. I understand, but I'm trying. I'm taking it one day at a time, I'm sure I still forget to listen and I'm still late. Oh, at least this time he brought flowers and I still talk during movies and do all kinds of bad things.
Oh, I think I sat down. Once with this guy in a movie theater! Arg! but I also say thank you and I say please and I smile and I hold the doors open for people. Not always but sometimes. And although I still feel bad sometimes I also feel kind of good, it's kind of a mix. And all I can do is keep trying~ to be BAD?! I think he's trying to be nice, no, no, no! I'm pretty sure he's trying to get back to who he was originally because original is best and I keep trying and I keep thinking maybe I'm not a bad seed after all, no you are.
Don't listen to them, don't listen to anyone. you're so bad Hey look, there goes that bad seed actually, it's not so bad anymore I heard that and that was the bad seed sing it with me dah dah dah dah dah well I certainly enjoyed the happy ending although you know- Who didn't like it a lot I heard you! Oh yeah, I didn't see you there ha ha ha, very funny, Narrator, I know you changed the pages at the end of the book to make it a "happy ending" like you like. I didn't change the pages. in the end at all.
This is exactly the book you brought me. Hang on a minute. That? Didn't you actually read the book? I mean, I totally judged it by its cover, it said The Bad Seed, so I was expecting some bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, some seeds, more bad. Well you get some of that and then some good UUGGHHH! Remind me to read the book next time! I always remind you to read the book, but I don't like to listen to you, so blah, blah, blah, blah, well, then this is his fault now, right? I heard that! Oh my God, you won't go well, boy, maybe I'll go, do you know what he needs?
She needs some bat stew which will make her feel a lot better so I'll go get her some bats in the meantime, stay safe!

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