The 8 principles of transforming your relationship with money | Thuli Sithole | TEDxLytteltonWomen

I'm going to talk to you, of course, in big, bold type, women and

money

, and I'm going to tell you how I came to want to talk about this, how this is something that means a lot to me, I didn't just pick it up. from a textbook and I decide that I am going to regurgitate what I read, this was a personal experience for me and with that I am going to share with you the eight

principles

to transform a woman's

relationship

, that is, her

relationship

with

money

, including men, but men tend to be better with money than we are.

I'll tell you why. Now how did I come to settle this whole woman and money thing and what happens. Why women don't have as much money as men. Why was he so excited? about money a few weeks ago out of nowhere i woke up in excruciating pain a toothache out of nowhere i said toothache so bad and i thought i was wondering whats wrong i went to the dentist i had a dental checkup and the dentist was saying that my wisdom tooth on top was growing down and there isn't another tooth on t it down below to counteract it which means it will keep growing until something comes along so the solution is to pull it out now ladies and gentlemen i'm terrified of two accessories so terrified i have given birth to two kids natural ones are painkillers but teeth extraction for me was like no way i'm not going to do it i sought a second opinion same thing finally decided to let myself continue with the mouthwash that was prescribed to me, I took strong painkillers every two hours and I.

I'm not a person who takes painkillers. I believe in homeopathic medicine, so I took pain relievers with him the first time I took two disciplines. I started to see stars. Actually, I was very disciplined, but anyway, knowing the kind of work I do in my trainer, I do a lot of metaphysical things, I went to look up what is a toothache and a toothache means I'm undecided I thought and I thought this and that from time to time every time you ask questions every time you said questions to God God answers you in ways you don't expect but you have to be willing to listen so I listened and assumed and I realized I'm indecisive I just got into a new relationship and I realized the minute I got into this relationship my money started going down I thought ok I want to work hard I want to be a career woman but also another part of me just wants to be taken care of, i want to be treated and pampered and everything i just want to be those girls was meant for them anyway the vuitton bags say i really tired of working so i'm not a single mom and i realize this it's my ba size now that I have started something here unconsciously I want to be taken care of and I no longer want to take care of money and that's when my emotions became intertwined and I was not decisive in that but with that money and love have always been a ba lancing act and that has to go back when i was young my father was a working man he was a surgeon he was never home always on call every day and when i was a child i wanted my father's love and affection and i remember i did a I vow that I would never work as hard as him because family comes first.

I made that vow but that's the impact it had on my life and then I started to realize the pattern from my past that whenever I was in a relationship the father of my children I had no career and no life I had no ways to earn an income if there is income but it's not enough to make me survive and when I'm single I'm driving swimming and getting rich and that was a pattern and this led me and I realized there are so many women out there maybe you are too maybe

your

story is not love money but it's something else we women always compromise something about money money for us is very emotional oh this earring is disturbing this poor thing money for us is intertwined emotions men ask for something if anyone like i got a call a couple of weeks ago tilly come talk whats

your

rate whats my worth so in my mind my rate is based on how i see myself my self esteem is not out loud in the subconscious but for h man he gives what he wants he's thinking oh jesus this Epsom when i ripped them off fifty grand do you understand a woman is different even if you could charge that high you would think that but i really think i'm worth so much that's what i'm here to share with you eight

principles

for transform that relationship whatever it is that is holding you back those emotions that started when you were young and i will share with you why this is working hard the african woman the typical african woman works that hard even more for some if you as an african woman have worked so hard hard all your life surely you have bought and many of you would be millionaires right now I am not lying to you be millionaires you will really be millionaires you We work and work and work and it is nothing because look at one of the ladies that we just mentioned that we give bursts to men and yet still the world of that man how is that?

So nature makes some sense. This is the life of a woman because when a woman has money in her hand she has an extended family to care for she has sown tried to take her shares her obligation shares this women often don't spend money on themselves like lust when I walk to the stores and i have extra money and i think oh wow i love those boots i look at them i think wow so cute and i think i'll be back later but before i leave that resort thinking i'll be back or something i'll be back next time the day before i create a resort i've I've been through the baby boutique and I'm thinking oh that will look good on my kids and I've shopped without even thinking that we don't take care of ourselves as much and as much as men They tend to think you don't look for a woman, look for money, women look for you they will find themselves, right? real women we can take a man out for sure anyone who's against it we'll powder it with just a joke it's true women can smell the potential in men so you may not be rich now but you know What are you going to do? every strong man is a powerful woman and that man is a head but the woman is the neck because yes we are very good at bringing out that potential we make our husbands we make them the true story is the same true story but for women money security like our freedom as our independence and when we don't have them we are really crippled we will lose our identity we will lose ourselves once i was in the situation myself my public figure but at some point i was so in love and so blinded by the rays of love that i quickly left my career i didn't see how insecure this man jumped and then all of a sudden i had nothing i made nothing and all my streams my network somehow started disappearing i became so dependent. in such a dependent man if you've ever been in the situation you know how painful that journey is because that journey isn't even about now that you get a job it's not about it's worth it and it's so hard to get out of a hole your self esteem is worth it with women money is about your emotions how you manage your emotions you start with your thought process you dominate your mind your thoughts now many times when i give this talk i gave it over the course of a day but i have to do it in 12 minutes so I won't go into too much detail, but I'm going to highlight for you how to take advantage of that, the first thing to know is that money is energy, mine is energy, just like love, we have it in hard formant currency , but it is energy and this is how you bring it into your life is through your energy are you worthy of receiving it if you are? start doing family discounts here and then there Women do that a lot with discount tree services.

I want to establish a form of business. They asked me how much they charge per hour and it will always fluctuate based on how good I felt that day. I never knew that's how I felt. It's just something. that came up for me eventually and i realized that my relationship with money and my business is based on how i feel in my emotions, often the way you run your business is based on your self-esteem, it's your self-esteem, not talk, money is energy passes from hand to hand from one person to another 20 rent for you buys you a movie ticket 20 rent for someone buys food and food that might last my week 10 fish who knows but the Money is different for all of us, and it's the same.

As you manage your time throughout the day, you need to manage your money as that energy so you can put it to good use. How will you attract it into your life and how will you keep it when you have it and when you give it away? many times money but one I give it that's how I have to be willing the first principle is that you have to be willing to receive and give many people don't think about it we think that our God is not giving me but in reality you are not willing to receive how many times have you prayed and said God give me a million dollars please I've been asking I've been asking I've been doing this I've done this I've done that and then you find 20 rounds on a corner somewhere and you're thinking Hockman over God just gave the first twenty round of a million it's not just change a friend came to greet you and they cooked food that has money's worth of abundance you seek to say thank you we' had to be willing to receive when i started up my ladder after leaving that relationship that crippled me financially and then excitedly bought a new car, but as I was leaving the dealership I remember thinking, oh my god, I can't get out of his dealership with his kawaru everyone at work thinks i have too much money and those are the emotions women tend to go through suddenly you have money and you are afraid to show it i started to think what will people think i have too much money and stuff It's going I wasn't willing to receive so it's coming but sunny Now I'm saying thank you God but I'm going to park in the garage let me get back to work on that has a corner of mine a lot of us do that a lot of you buy mugs and things for your house or something but how many of you save it for special guests and look forward to those special occasions how many of you have saved perfumes for special occasions where do those occasions come from sour that perfume for when you meet that man but right now you meet the guy and you know the perfume is still there kept in the closet i had perfume that actually dried up because i was expecting a lot of truths is the truth you have to this r willing to receive and when it comes to giving don't hold a grudge we tend to have this you know grudge godly where it's like omg i don't want to pay my health insurance.

I don't want to pay for discovery. I win discoveries. Charging me 3000 for medical expenses. For you, sometimes it's more, but you have a garage purchase. You don't want to pay your taxes. you keep talking about Gan Gan Gan diseases in cars ah keep talking about all my taxes go to the shelves so your taxes also go to contributing to other people's lives you may not know but you have to be willing to give and you bless it there are times i feel like i dont feel like paying like parking attendants what are you doing here? never knew how to drive and then you have to give them five fours on a tour and at a time when i feel like i'm holding a grudge i literally just bless it and visualize something good and say bless it abundantly to let go of a grudge because when you don't do that essentially you said that God cut me five fr Less is that he will come back to you, no, but bless him and do something for this guy, even if he gives us boss forty percent, but if you bless him, he returns many different wings that you can't track. ways because his energy blesses him think about the next time if you are going to give money and if your garage is so bad don't return the old but don't spend the money with a garage it's like a love someone it's like being in a relationship when you're not in love from a guy and you don't even want to kiss someone touch him or do something and feel it's right it's energy it's energy so never be willing to receive when you receive say thank you and when you release bless bless every transaction bless you had the spine you're buying this bless all let it go when you see a bill say yes thank you this is another proof my kids are really in school private schools are expensive so don't follow who this is hard it's a test thank God, it's actually possible that my children are in school.

Bless everything that comes your way. Secondly, you have to take one hundred percent responsibility for your own life for everything that has happened to you and your life is the way it is. you are now experiencing it the way you are now simply because of the thought processes you have created everything that has ever happened to you has never happened to you everything around you that you experience that you created you could say uh what What do people say, but so-and-so was raped, how do you believe it? Your subconscious mind, your thoughts, there are some people, for example, they are always kidnapped, everything breaks as one. another and that's simply because your mind is back in that space and it's not to say that bad things are good, but it's to say that you can't change your subconscious mind into a state of mind in a space where you start attracting things that make you feel good you can't turn lemons into lemonadestate of mind and it starts with a circumstance that has happened to you maybe you shrink down you feel like oh my god my life is over i will I won't be able to pay my bills Your thought process is you start to think you're not worth it anymore Your friends won't invite you out for a drink or whatever.

You have thoughts about it and your thoughts cause feelings in you. you're depressed you're sad angry feelings starting to come up and then your manifest number for your actions your actions that determine your outcome what your actions are being depressed you'd rather sit in bed all day or you won't talk to it your own take any call those kinds of actions his inability to act for himself from there that is your result what is your result your children have not gone to school because you refuse to get out of bed or have not eaten you have lost weight or are already sick and remember your thoughts manifest sickness one of the ladies mentioned morning sickness as acute morning sickness to tell you the truth is morning sickness is your thoughts that have manifested fear and your body is not much better physically that fear turns into nausea and vomiting that's scary every pregnant woman actually feels scared because experiencing a new baby inside of you is scary in all ways Everyone, but some have it worse than others and they are women who don't have it because maybe the support systems are better or there are thoughts about the whole process Cepeda but we are all different your thoughts can also manifest if you start stuffing your throat with so essential way it means that you have held back probably maybe you have the honor to express yourself you wanted to say something to someone and you held back then your throat hurts when your coffee really held back a lot yes he is not checking he is not seeing and then you you'll notice that now i'm in a position where i'm making sure i express anything if something doesn't make me feel happy arrow i have to say it i have to say it but then from there if you don't like the result if you don't like the cold now you have to go back to your thoughts change your thoughts change the way you think be more positive do things that make you happy listen to music jump listen to music positive music now i have in my playlist only now i have playback i'm positive music and that's my playlist and my ipod is written how to inflate it means i'm one inflate it and i'll inflate it in the car and before i come here this morning I was cranking my volume all the way up and started thinking oh jesus speakers in my Mini Cooper and not enough.

I have to buy speakers like these other guys in the trenches because I want to pump it up. This is how I raise my vibration. I also enjoyed it with a comedian because it's another way to raise the vibration when I was going through a very difficult time after separating from the father of my children I went to see Trevor Noah and I laughed and laughing raises your vibration so these are ways to raise your vibration positive things in your life the third principle i am going to have to move faster you have to be clear why you are here what is your intention?

What's its purpose? now aware of doing it gracefully gracefully who you are you know who you are what your identity is and i'm talking about that depth of your soul i'm not talking about you being a mother i'm not talking about you being a wife what you are on the inside not what people it tells you what you are when all those titles are gone what do you have left if your son no longer exists an identity and as for women we tend to wrap identities around our family s first comes a husband in which of course you like me you lighten up your career everything else and suddenly you become him when people look for him and can't find him they call me now you know you're in trouble you become your kids when your kids leave home you no longer have a sense of purpose because They are no longer the ones who decide who you are and that will open the way for you to create your purpose and do things with a purpose and some of the women have discovered their purpose by accident but life is in constant before evolution because your purpose can never be a constant thing your essence is right at all times but you also evolve is moving forward one moment you are a bank and the next moment you are a philanthropist but your essence is the same because all you What has happened to us is that you teach us a lesson and when you move forward with it you have to set goals set goals so people take it for granted but setting goals keeps you on track you keep an eye on the prize and that means when life happens to you when someone passes away or when Escom drops loads again or when something happens you don't lose focus on your dreams you must constantly review your goals write them down writing them down is powerful last year June I remember writing a goal that within the next three months I will having 200,000 of my cash is going to get there somehow whether i play the lottery i will do something but i will have it right here like that cash instant cash and i m I manifested and then I remember thinking, geez, I didn't dream big enough, I shouldn't have dreamed big enough, but now I know and that's why when I go through these things and share my experiences, I can say dream big write down your goals identify your inner blocks as i have shared with you how a vow i made when i was young is what prevented me from creating my money happiness what is it that is blocking you from the past guilt depression anger your emotional baggage is something emotionally ing in you that is holding you back now she says by the time a child is eight everything that has happened to them up to that point who are emotional like who will be repeating that cycle for the rest of their lives when i was 12 an english teacher told me i would never amount to anything in life, she still makes it clear to me and I spent my life reliving that story because I trusted her, believed her, and thought she was unworthy. it won't amount to anything he told me my english was so bad but look at me i'm standing and talking and how it manifested that was i went from one relationship to a bad relationship and then to the next my money choices were bad simply because the way i What I thought I was was not worth it and therefore I will recreate situations that continue to reinforce the belief that I am not worth it when you change your beliefs you create a life where you continue to reinforce that you are better that's why they say when you are positive you bring yourself positive situations and therefore you reinforce the situation that I am I am successful I am healthy and whatever it is that you will also affirm that it is positive so let go of your emotional baggage it is not serving you something that you may know now that sometimes you have been living over and over again it's not serving you leave it leave it has an impact on the decisions you make in your life financially to clear the clutter yes who has offices this is so It's important that part of get what you want in abundance remember the energy of money you have to clear the clutter and create a vacuum for new energy to come in for money for love good health clear the clutter clean your rooms or draw how the holes in your taxi drop things that you don't need or use anymore and this is something i went through too and i promise it's amazing to go through this but now it's winter because i did this last year in winter right?

Now it's winter and I'm looking for something like oh gee I gave you don't wait as now I can't take it back but it felt so good to give away because it opened up my pots it opened me up to that possibility of giving every time I see this young lady, For example, that I could have given her a lot of my clothes and she stops at traffic lights. They are selling things. I always think, wow, she looks great, you know? and lastly you have to forgive talked about the whole lemonade thing when you forgive you're not doing it for the other person you're doing it for yourself and when you do it when you decide to forgive don't expect to go to someone and say hey I've decided that I'm going to forgive you I know in five years but I've decided that I'm going to forgive you what do you expect me to react by forgiving someone like you and it's your business between you and your god between you and your sauce it's for you he lets go he doesn't do anything for the other person it frees you, so you have to learn to forgive because forgiving also cleanses that emotional baggage just like I had the emotional baggage from the teacher, for example, who told me that I would never amount to anything if I had been carrying that and wanting to my revenge on her would be nowhere to be found but if she were to see me now she forgave her a long time ago so forgive allow that emotional mess to get out of the way at least release some of it there is also fo physical signatures to help you. to release emotional try to I can't talk about now but one day and then of course you have to express gratitude for everything in your life no matter how small or how big it is to express gratitude that I mentioned earlier then you find that when you're in the corner of your bed thank you God I'm going to treat myself yell thank you to the waiters and waitresses who have been serving us outside thank any of them we take the little things for granted right? say thank you to a petrol aten dants have your car checked out have made sure it's roadworthy one of the last times you call the next of kin to say hi thank you do something to express gratitude and appreciation when you do that you feel more loving and that allows you to give too because gratitude allows things to come to you you attract that money energy it's a positive feeling so ladies and gentlemen money is energy it's not something that's just in your wallet and when it's not there there it's gone you can always attract my money into your space abundance into your space just thinking about it just clearing a space clearing your clutter these are the eight principles to creating success for yourselves there's a lot of work to be done to clear and let go of emotional baggage It didn't take just a few months or weeks, it's been years of hard work, but I can guarantee that having done all of that, I can testify that this is a way to go hard yes work hard but smart it should be comfortable for you i work four hours a week and then i have time for my kids i have nothing it is possible to work and be happy and live abundantly thank you