Snapchat is so dumb

Hello guys, welcome back to the middle of the jungle. Someone please help me. I'm stuck. If you've been wondering where I've been for the past few weeks. I've been working on a stupidly long video about a topic that's just interesting. for me but I was starting to feel overwhelmed so I wanted to kick back and relax with some good old fashioned social media so I checked Twitter for a bit got bored and went to Instagram I saw some reels that are just stolen tick tocks and I I got bored again, forgot I had already closed Twitter and accidentally opened it again only to immediately close it again and then started to despair.

Sometimes you just have to stare at your phone with your mouth open and your brain outside the only two body parts that move. your thumb and eyelids while consuming the most brain-dead content the internet has to offer and then I remembered Snapchat, the perfect app for this. I was never really a big Snapchat user in the past, when I was even interested in an app like that Instagram had already stolen all of its good features so I would just send my dick pics there, but every once in a while I love to go back and revisit the Snapchat discovery page because it is literally, and I'm not exaggerating, the

dumb

est corner of the entire Internet, you know, when you go to the supermarket, there are all those tabloid magazines in the checkout line with the gossipiest headlines like Brad Pitt checked into rehab for stinky farts.

Jennifer Aniston was dumped. Here's why she deserved it. Will Smith is adopted. That's basically it. everything

snapchat

is now except with the kardashians james charles and jeffree star and also the dobre brothers dressed up as jeffree star it's never anything interesting or that's even remotely a big deal it'll be like charlie demilio blew it big time and then you click. In it they expect even the slightest amount of interesting drama and say that actually what she did wasn't that bad and no one is upset about it, but we found a tweet from a guy angry at Charlie, who I love. when they do this ig selection of Courtney got Travis to flirt, okay I gotta see what they're talking about, what he did and then there's a whole article explaining how he commented yes on one of her photos, yeah that's five yeses, uh, calm down, travis, that's it.

Has to be the thirstiest comment I've ever seen in my life. No one thought Osiris would go from singing to this. I have to see what he is. It must be something crazy. Why does Osiris want to be in an old Spice commercial so badly? Oh, and then he's done. Awesome, yes, almost everything on Snapchat is clickbait and everyone who comes here knows it's clickbait, but you still click on things anyway because like I said, we have empty brains, even things that aren't celebrity related they feed on this Snapchat. user base so good I don't want to have to think when I'm here just show me crazy world records longest underwater kiss it was on plank for eight hours I mean I do that every night but it's okay I guess I forgot Tell Guinness. but I want to see that fool, show me failed builds, I want to see someone fall and then I want to see someone fall and then I want to see someone else fall, what if a guy fell and if you showed me a video of someone falling, people fall down all the time and if I can't see that I'm literally going to fall down, I feel like the headlines totally miss the point most of the time, like this is the guy who builds a lot. of cool stuff without modern tools and their big takeaway was their own outdoor pool.

That's the crazy thing about this. We've all built our own pools by hand before, but this one is outside. I had never heard of my pools always being inside. right next to my bed so when I wake up I accidentally fall and then it's like I'm on my own failed build. One thing they do that is also very strange is that they randomly include stories from people you don't know. or go ahead and make it look like that's news too, gotta see what this guy has to say oh okay yeah, I'm so glad this is on my homepage, it never really ends, you keep scrolling, Scrolling and scrolling forever, okay?

I did it in foreign languages, so it looks like we're done, oh, back to English, okay, I guess they found something else. I like to think that Snapchat employees can see you scrolling, so they start desperately trying to discard random messages. to fill the space oh, they're almost at the bottom, quickly think of something, uh, there's something about your fingerprints, perfect, put that on what I really love about Snapchat right now, although it's all the familiar faces that They are starting to appear, that's the magic. show a series headlined by none other than a friend of the channel, more on that later and then of course a lot of you have been messaging me lately who had recently partnered with the hooked app to show Trevor's story on the Virgin. which used to be advertised before every YouTube video for a year, has now been rebranded as an original add-on called First Time's a Charm, although it's actually the second time because they're the exact same videos but broken up into shorter episodes.

Martha's knight takes an unexpected turn. twist unless, of course, this is the 30th time you've seen this, in which case the twist was highly expected. The only thing new about this is that they've cropped everything in portrait mode, which makes for some impressive extreme close-ups. I won't want to watch this again because I already did it, but I'm curious what will happen when they run out of clips to use. They're almost there. Are you going to film more or will it simply continue to be distributed on different channels? platforms like their Seinfeld reruns, I'll give it about six months until we see this pop-up as a Facebook Watch exclusive.

It's a little redundant for Snapchat to add these hook shows because they've already been copying their format with their own. series called fake texts, which is a fun play on words because it's like saying you sent an email on a computer, but these text messages are fake because they're not real, they all tell different stories about a variety of topics, sometimes it's the Prince Charming being an idiot or someone's parents forgetting. to tell you that they moved like six months ago and sold all their stuff, but the next story is one that I really think is worthy of an oscar if one of the oscar categories was a text-based Snapchat movie, it's called search and There are so many crazy things. twists here I'm looking at him like um m night shyamalan who is a film director what did he do like the event uh sixth sense I know who he is that's why I mentioned him oh I thought you'd put a comma after his name like m night shyamalan who's not like that since people ask questions yeah ok I just meant he's known for always giving crazy twists and this story is to give it a twist too I guess I should probably take it from here so the story starts with this girl saying "um "You hurt me, how dare you?" and they're flirting back and forth, it's all pretty steamy, which is probably why I got a notification that my heart rate went up.

She catches him lying here by pointing out her location. which is important to remember for the future, so file it away, don't forget about it and then comes twist number one, a text message from his wife. I thought he was already talking to his wife. Either this story takes place in Utah or he's been misled. I have to say it. pretty good character development, although so far you already know two things about him: he cheats and he lies, he just lied to Elizabeth and now he lies to his wife about being home with their daughter, so he's a bad husband, boyfriend and father, not until now. supporting him at all i hope he gets punished by the universe yes i'm home oh good i was getting worried julia isn't responding to my texts she's just finishing her homework very focused oh well you guys are hungry and happy to pick something up okay , let me check it hello my princess, I will be home in a minute, I told mom you finished your homework and you want food hello dennis ha ha hello julia we have your daughter julia twist number two there has been a kidnapping again, although I don't I don't really have much sympathy for this guy, I mean, he didn't want his daughter to be kidnapped, but it's like it's entirely his fault to answer the phone julia julia can't talk now call me right now oh okay julia is this a joke : You put the camera on a tripod and then you got into a trunk with your hands tied and set the self-timer so I would take your photo and then from four feet away you text me this photo.

He is starting to go crazy so he threatens to call the police until turn number three he cannot call the police because the kidnapper or Julia is blackmailing him speaking in the third person and still making a joke he knows about his secret girlfriend and if he calls the cops are going to send that photo to your wife the classic conundrum uh no now wife I have to uncover more lies because of the trouble I've caused with my other lies hello do you want food oh no, it's okay julia and I I'm going to run out and get some food, I feel like I don't have enough father-daughter time and then he uses the default smiley face emoji that no one has used before, okay, when will you be home?

I love you, he's accomplishing this, then Dennis finds him. he discovers the terms of the ten thousand dollar blackmail at 6 p.m. m. or the daughter finds out. Elizabeth has no idea that any of this is happening, so she's still trying to flirt, but this is where she returns that location feature from before. Did you file that? I told you, I swear to God if you forgot anyway, using the help of Elizabeth and her two hickeys, they find out that Julia is two hours away at a place called Burger Palace, but something doesn't add up, the kidnapper said if he gave them the money.

At 6 pm. She would be returned safely home immediately afterward, but how could they do that with two hours left? change of plans we are tired of waiting please you will receive your money before 6pm as we agreed please don't hurt yourself. Julia, she is my whole world, that's why I lied to my wife and left her alone at home. She is my whole world. In the end, he admits that it's all his fault and realizes that he has no choice but to pay them, so he opens Venmo and starts putting in the name. of the recipient and before I show you that I just want you to guess what you think the account name will preferably be something subtle because you're about to pay a ton of money over the Internet to a stranger and you don't.

I want to draw too much attention to this. You have your guesses. If you guessed 10,000 for Julia, you were right. I like to imagine the kidnapper having to set up a new Venmo account while all this is happening. Damn, I already used that email. I guess I can use my business account now. What is a good password? But just as Dennis is about to send ten thousand dollars to the account, ten thousand to Julia with a note that says Julia, he receives a voicemail from his wife. Are you ready to listen? this voicemail i know for a fact you're not doing it but i'm still going to play it anyway hello honey where are you?

I'm getting worried why you're not responding, please call me welcome to Burger Palace. Can I take your order? Okay, I have to call myself again and that's the biggest twist of all. The wife kidnapped her daughter. She herself has been involved in this all along. I must say that it is the most direct revelation I have ever heard in my life. a place called Burger Palace, that's weird, honey, it's all good, where's our girl? Hello, welcome to Burger Palace. I have to go. The only thing more annoying than it would have been if she had left the voicemail and you had heard the daughter in the background.

Like mommy, are you done with your blackmail? So Dennis, who for some reason is the protagonist of this, starts to piece together the details and figure out what's going on, hey now or she dies, make him a murderer, what's your last chance, stop this, I know. She's my wife, I know you're at Burger Palace, I listened to your voicemail and they're actually explaining this to us and then Detective Dennis, now relieved to not have to deal with the consequences of his actions, tries to turn it around. To pain. Why are you doing this? I'm taking our daughter, whether you pay or not, we're going to start a new life.

That's why you kidnapped her so you could keep all our money and escape from her. I'm doing what's best for Julia. What I love you. We're both a family just because I lied to you and I cheated on you and I lied to our daughter and I abandoned our daughter and I told you to kill our daughter doesn't mean we're not a perfect loving family, you destroyed our family when you slept with Elizabeth. oh how long have you known what is this a surprise to him what did he think was his reason for doing the trick ah she feels a little silly today so she says no you can't fix this can't you? sorry, send me the money anyway because you made me feeluseless and I want you to see how it feels when you have nothing, I will consider going back, okay, I will send you the money, you will do it, if I lose my daughter, then I have already lost everything. you can have it all and then the crazy guy does it, sends her ten thousand dollars, gets a voicemail from her where Julia sounds like she really has been kidnapped.

Hello dad, I love you and miss you so much again. I don't know what the good guy is like here, all he did was constantly ruin everything, but that's it, that's the ending, but I honestly think the best endings are the ones that are open to interpretation: does his family come back or does he? They abandon like him? What did he do to Julia? Does Elizabeth find even more hickeys on her body? And what they ended up asking for? This was all just an advertisement for Burger Palace. Do they have shakes? There are the questions you will have to answer yourself.

The discover page on Snapchat is full of all kinds of channels, such as fake text. It seems like most of them are creators from other platforms who simply reformat their videos to fit here. one of my favorites is reaction time a youtuber who somehow has 15 million subscribers and if you thought his youtube content was lazy wait until you see this i broke up with him like last week but you know he loves My son and everyone want some order. can I say something react no it's airing with money um look I'm with you if you're here with your son I'm not going to sit like he put on those glasses just to say that okay I think I get it now some people can't see without glasses he can't talk without glasses it's a very sad disorder and I hope they find the cure wow I'm sorry to see that brother, she's a gold digger and that's going to end thank you guys for watching and I'll see you next time with more episodes of Time of reaction, peace, that will do it guys, thank you so much for watching.

I'm sorry I forgot to make even one remotely interesting observation throughout the entire video, but maybe. episode 42 I'll think of something, but the most famous Snapchat channel right now is the one I mentioned before, the magic show, if you like watching nothing happen, you'll love it, I don't even know what, like the thesis of this. The show is that it is now in the second season and the first season was at least related to magic, there were a lot of life tricks Rick lacks life tricks or lack of life for sure, but at least you could say that there was some sleight of hand involved at some point mainly.

It was all fake which I already made a video about, but at least they had a theme in the second season. I don't know what's happening anymore. I don't think these people know what the word magic means, they're mostly just jokes. I've seen other people make funny eyebrow pranks before, a whole video pops up of me pulling a prank on my friend, who definitely doesn't realize I'm doing this and is just doing that normal thing everyone does when they get angry. They bathe fully clothed and completely. they ignore their surroundings, everything else they do is just lie and yes that's pretty much what Rick has made a living doing so far, in essence a magic trick is just an elaborate lie but I still don't appreciate it , especially since everything is so long.

Out of breath, it seems like they intentionally try to ramble on as long as possible before showing you the inevitably disappointing reveal. Wow, I can't wait to see what this dress looks like. They've been promoting this for about four minutes. Now it's going to Be so good, I bet here we go, here we go, your new wedding dress, stop it, this is so cool, isn't it amazing? It just looks dirty because of the smoke bomb and like air, you know, that's how air moves, yeah, like air does. like really fluid air, so cool, that's true, air is so fluid, the worst thing they do and frankly they should all be jailed for this are these disgusting kitchen tricks where they throw all these disgusting ingredients together like it's this five-minute family meal. this will save you a lot of time listen, I'm a busy mom like you, so I'm going to tell you my secret pasta recipe where I pour raw spaghetti into a pie crust and then top it with cheese and bread. a little splash of milk just enough to make it kind of juicy, like looking him in the eye, hooks you into some crazy thing that makes you think, well, this is gross, but surely this is going somewhere.

I'll be surprised at the end when they reveal it. it's actually delicious, that's why they're showing me this so you can watch it all, maybe even sit through some ads along the way waiting for that m Night Shyamalan twist and then they finally pull it out of the oven and that's it. They don't cut it or take a bite and they certainly aren't willing to eat this off camera. They understand that this is a total abomination they created and they don't care, so I guess this account is satire now. Is it all just a parody? It's not really advertised like that, so who can say one thing?

It definitely isn't, although it is magical in conclusion. I know all social media apps are designed to be a huge waste of time, but Snapchat's content is so aggressively stupid. that makes me angry at every person involved in its creation, yes, Twitter and Instagram feature equally useless stories and headlines, but at least they come with an element of discussion. Trash Snapchat doesn't even have a comments section so y'all. What I can do is assume that everyone else hates him too, but I can't watch people make funny roasts or try to defend him and be proportional or end up in completely unrelated political arguments.

This is not fun. This is bad. Know? It's funny, this whole time I was browsing the app while going to the bathroom. I didn't realize the real poop was on my phone this whole time. I'm going to wash my hands again. Hey, in the meantime, check out this commercial. Hello, I'm drowning and I'm here to tell you about today's sponsor, expressvpn, every time you use the Internet to connect to an unencrypted network, you are sending countless pieces of information that can potentially be intercepted on your way there, but essentially you create a virtual private network. A secure tunnel for that information to pass through is like putting important mail inside an envelope or putting on pants to cover your butt, but it's not just for security, a VPN also allows your device to access content that may be restricted due to the country in which it is located. the one that is found. you're in, you can go in and change the location of your computer to a server in one of 94 different countries, which makes the Internet think that's where you are, so if you wanted to watch something like, say, spy on kids on Netflix and You live in America like me, you're out of luck unless of course you used ExpressVPN to change your location to Canada and now you and your brother are saving the world.

There are so many shows, movies and basketball games that I have been able to watch. By doing this you really open up what you can watch on the internet using Netflix without ExpressVpn, it's like you paid for a gym membership but the only thing you were allowed to use there were the heavyweights that you are not. strong enough to lift, so you just stay in the corner and do jumping jacks until your mom can come pick you up, so don't do that, that's what I'm saying. Find out how you can get three months free by clicking the link. in the description which is expressvpn.com the link is also on the screen right now but clicking on it won't work that's not how links work all you're going to do is pause the video and then you'll be really confused. because I stopped talking and that's not why he stopped talking oh well thanks to expressvpn for sponsoring today's video and thanks to everyone who watched it I'm talking to you so at the end of my last video I said sarcastically that would do it.

I'll be back the next day with a video where I analyze the stock market. Which was a lie because I don't understand the stock market, but a lot of people sent me messages apparently upset because I never uploaded the video they thought I had. I promised him anyway. I feel really bad for misleading you all, so I'll post an in-depth apology video tomorrow. Please be sure to subscribe so you can check it out. Thank God.