Sir Les Patterson (Barry Humphries) 1982. Pt. 1.

tonight is one of the most celebrated Australian statesmen of modern times. He started his career as an entertainment officer at a club in sydney and has risen to the heights of being the australian cultural attache at st james court. I couldn't agree more with him. the reviewer who said it impugns the fundamental refinement of the australian character ladies and gentlemen celeste

patterson

i don't feel so bad oh yes of course images oh sorry mike what is it i grew on my hands oh it's a salve i was meant to be for you i was applying myself a quick application before the show i'm supposed to use an applicator but i usually don't worry now let's just talk you'll be fine on your next trip to the philippines are you with me no way now listening is obviously terribly important to me that's the part of your work now what is it? what is the image you are trying to project? image that i am very successful in projecting in canada and that is like us australia as a thinking organism you know it wasn't many moons ago what you do to old brian humphreys headley the poor ash bastard i saw him out there oh shit you must have put it through a bad moment.

We talked about getting on the grog. Oh shit, sorry we got stuck, ladies and gentlemen, it's so good to be here on Parky's show. t you micro ok you could it's been fantastic the publicity we're getting and largely due to the efforts of the good me you know it wasn't too many moons ago they thought we were a bunch of diamonds in the rough but you know I've more culture than a penicillin factory in australia don't worry well i guess they talk about culture the main thing people still know for now the film industry movies australian movies have you got anything to do with them yeah i kicked it out oh yeah I was, I was instrumental in getting movies off the ground in Australia, they had been moving forward for a long time with chips quickly and that fraternity, but they needed to be dragged kicking and screaming into the mic of the 20th century and I'm very proud I'm very proud of the role i'm very proud of the part i've played there you know the problem with the film industry as it is with yachts in general nowadays is that the element don't get me wrong i don't care what people do in the privacy of their own homes don't get me wrong on that note ladies and gentlemen please know i agree with old ken livingston on that particular matter but what i would like to say you know there are a lot of industries that need a little elimination and, you know he's fine with the porters in Australia, since he's here.

I had a lovely idea for a movie. a few years ago it was going to be great it was about a football team going to the mountains it was called piss up on Hanging Rockets and by the time you're not with me by the time the poof mafia or the puffy as I call them had realized that they had been cut up and turned into sheilas who wandered the nursery curtains and were eaten by abortion, but what about a movie like Gallipoli, which has had great critical acclaim both here in America ? from my gay hands generously in my opinion is a better description of that thought boys from the teeth i'm not saying they're shark lifters i'm not saying and that's how it's presented you know giving the turks the wrong idea you know a lot uh the people inside from the movie industry intimately I mean I'm thinking actors or actresses well naturally I've had uh you listen to the guys in the band over there to cross talk that'll be good guys hey now I've been a bit. i've done a little bit of casting work i've done a little bit i mean it's not for nothing i'm known as the protestant blue degree i'm we have a lot in common you know well with a couple of moguls and it's significant isn't it true i'll lose companies being taken over by an australian corporation, an australian conglomerate and a bit scared conglomerate of course it will lose its english character but old gentleman great englishman well rumor has it bulgarian? tap dancer, I don't know, but he's very nice and a close personal trend.

Hate, we have a lot, but a lot of the actresses, you know, I mean, I know all of them personally. You know, there have been times when my fidelity to my wife has been tested quite severely and it has come second. Can you think of something? I mean, was this a matter of girls being daring and being overwhelmed by your sexuality? I had an embarrassing experience in a London taxi. Yes we were. I had this little lesson. She was a star of one of my movies. we were driving and i'm not kidding you don't know this little sheila had a streak in the back seat of the car i didn't know where to look and we got to our destination the driver says it will be like this and so you know and he says hey you're going to pay me and she sorry i can't say but she did an erica she did an erica but not the top she showed a taste map leading lady not now for those of you who ain't gonna crash out of geography tasmania is a triangular continent a bit on the bushy side i played for god sake anyway to cut a long story short the driver said don't you have anything smaller