YTread Logo
YTread Logo

Simon Sinek: Why Leaders Eat Last

Feb 27, 2020
so the date is august 16, 2002 and hovering over a valley in afghanistan are two a-10 warthogs an a-10 is a heavily armored low-flying slow aircraft designed to provide cover for troops on the ground and on this night it's a very cloudy night the storms in the area and these two planes hanging above waiting in case someone downstairs needs help up there it's beautiful the moon is shining thousands of stars in the sky the clouds look like snow just fell down below in the valley, however, there were 22 Special Operations Forces troops from the Special Forces trying to fight their way across the country and they could sense that something was wrong they could sense that they were uncomfortable one of the pilots above the callsign Johnny Bravo and yes he is like this I could feel his restlessness listening to him on the radio so he decides he was going to go down below the cloud and just take a look.
simon sinek why leaders eat last
He tells his wingmen to hang out here. I'll go see what's there and he points to his pl. ane goes down into the clouds and as she goes through the clouds the call comes over the radio troops in contact troops in contact is what they say when they're under effective fire it means they're in trouble so now johnny bravo's points are playing straight the planes shake in the turbulence and when you get out below the clouds you're less than a thousand feet above the ground and you're flying in a valley with cliffs on either side now it's only 2002 and the planes weren't yet ground-hugging radar and even worse they were using old russian maps thats all they had at the time and the site that greets you is something like you have never seen before not in training or in the movies you see tracer fire coming from everywhere from the valley. he pointed right in the middle where the US forces are, so he picks a point and starts laying down suppressive fire and he's flying and he's in danger of hitting the cliff, of course he knows his speed, he knows his distance. ance off the map and literally counts out loud well he sets suppression fire one thousand two one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five thousand puddles hard on the stick pulls up in the cloud drops back one one thousand two thousand three one thousand four thousand good hits good hits he says over his radio and again comes one thousand two one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five thousand runs out of ammo fuel ok fly back to the top of the cloud he tells his wingman you have to go down there his wingman isn't sure about the condition so the two fly back together his wingman sets up a suppressive fire and Johnny Bravo counts as they fly three feet away from one to the other wing to wing one thousand two one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five one thousand up and around again one thousand two one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five thousand that night twenty two Americans came home alive with zero low.
simon sinek why leaders eat last

More Interesting Facts About,

simon sinek why leaders eat last...

My question is: where do people like Johnny Bravo come from? Who are the ones who would risk their lives for others in order to survive? I asked Johnny Bravo. I asked him why are you doing it why would you risk your life so that others can survive and he gave me the same answer that everyone in his position gives because they would have done it for me now if you think about it in the army they give medals to people who are willing to sacrifice so others win in business we give bonuses to people who are willing to sacrifice others so we can win we have it backwards wouldn't you like to work in an organization where you have absolute confidence and absolute knowledge that other people who may or may not know that they work in the same organization as you would be willing to sacrifice themselves so that you can survive and we are not talking about giving their lives.
simon sinek why leaders eat last
I mean, we don't even like to give up credit, you know? Where do people like Johnny Bravo come from? Well, it's an old question: they're not born, they're actually made if you look at the human animal that is the human animal. like a machine there are systems within our bodies that try to get us to do things that are in the interest of the survival of the human animal, like in an industry in a business and a company if you want people to do something you offer them some sort of incentive positive or negative to correctly direct behavior so if you want people to achieve a certain goal then offer them a bonus if they achieve that goal and they will work towards that goal because they want the bonus it is a very simple system the human body works exactly the same way the same way it works exactly the same way inside our body there are chemicals that try to make us do the things that are good for us if you have ever had a feeling of happiness pride joy love fulfillment all these f The feelings we have are chemically produced feelings and are produced by four chemicals predominantly these are the basically responsible sabers of all the feelings that I would generically call happiness are endorphins dopamine serotonin and oxytocin so these two chemicals endorphins and dopamine I like to call them the selfish chemicals but you don't really need anyone's help to get it right let me tell you let me tell you a little about what they are, endorphins, endorphins are designed to do one thing and one thing only to mask physical pain, that is.
simon sinek why leaders eat last
That's what they do. ever pushed yourself before you feel great and when you finish running you feel great and then an hour later you feel sore from the damage you did to your muscles an hour earlier right this is what endorphins are designed for designed to mask physical pain the caveman's reason for this because this is all from 50,000 years ago to understand that homo sapien existed at the same time as other hominin species and yet we survived and they don't what's wrong this speech that is so good for survival and prosperity? Look at the world we've built.
It's not just that we're smart. We are certainly not the strongest and we are certainly not the smartest. we are social animals we have to do things together we have to take care of each other and we have to work together to make sure we survive that we do it right this is how we are well designed these chemicals are trying to make that happen so in these times of man from the caves, 50,000 years ago, the paleolithic era, we had to eat, we are not the strongest, we are not the fastest, but there is one thing: the human animal is made to resist, we could track an animal for hours and hours and hours and miles and miles for d miles and if we were tired we kept going and if we got hurt or had to carry food to the cave we just kept going and it was so good it felt so good maybe even volunteer to go to hunt the next day, just as we become addicted to exercise.
Oh my gosh, that was so much fun yesterday. Tomorrow I will go hunting completely. Good. Good system for group survival. good system. because of the endorphins you are actually convulsing your internal organs and the endorphins are masking the physical pain. I'm sure everyone here has laughed so hard that the endorphins finally run out. you found something you were looking for or you achieved something you set out to achieve so you know the feeling you get when you check something off your to do list that is dopamine feels amazing you know when you have a goal to achieve and it hurts to see that goal it's like yeah you feel like you've gained something right which is dopamine the purpose of dopamine is to make sure we do things right the oracle kist the reason for dopamine we would never eat if we just waited to get until it gave us hungry because there is no guarantee that we will find food, so dopamine exists to help us search for food, we get dopamine when we eat, which is one of the reasons we like to eat, and when you see something that reminds you of something that feels ok we want to do the behavior that helps us get that right feeling so let's say you're taking a walk and you see an apple tree in the distance he gets a little dopamine hit and then what and he does that. it focuses us on our goals and now we start to walk towards the apple tree and as the apple tree starts to grow a bit we feel like we are making progress you get another little shot of dopamine and another little shot of dopamine in the shade until you get to the train you are like yeah ok that's why we're told you need to write down your goals your goals need to be tangible there's a biological reason we were very, very visually oriented animals you need to be able to see the goal to stay biologically focused okay if you don't write your goals, if you can't see your goals, it's very hard to get motivated to get inspired, for example, think about corporate visions, well, a corporate vision has to be something we can see, that's why it's called a vision you can see well to be the biggest most respected to be the fastest growing are not visions are not at all correct what does that look like even respected by whom your mother yourself your friends your actions Onists who knows what the metric is I don't know it's Amorphis doesn't motivate us just like I can't tell you you'll get a bonus if you achieve more you're going to ask me how much more I'm going to say more doesn't work you need a tangible goal you need a tangible goal here there is a gre in the vision martin luther king i have a dream that one day little black kids little white kids will play together in the playground and hold hands we can imagine we can set our sights on that and every time we succeed a goal and we achieve a metric and achieve a milestone that makes us feel like we are progressing towards the vision that we can see we just keep going and going and going until we achieve something extraordinary you have to be able to see it dopamine like i said dopamine is the feeling you get when set out to find something you're looking for i also talked about the to do list i came home from a trip just a couple of days ago and i had a ton I had errands to do and I wrote a little list of things that I had to do and I went to the right and as I passed I think it was the dry cleaner I remember something was happening that I remembered oh I have to do that and I hadn't written it down I hadn't written it down on my to do list so i went in and finished what i needed to do and then when i got out i wrote it on my to do list and then crossed it off because i wanted dopamine to feel good dopamine comes with a warning the dopamine is very very very addictive here are some other things that release dopamine alcohol nicotine staking your cell phone oh you think i'm kidding okay we've all been told you know if you wake up in the morning and you're craving a drink, you could be an alcoholic, well, if you wake up first thing in the morning. to do is check your phone before you even get out of bed you can be an addict if you walk from room to room in your own apartment holding your phone you can be an addict when you are driving your car and you get a text and your phone makes a beep we hate email right we love beep buzz ring sure you'll be there in 10 minutes and yet you have to watch it right now you might be addicted and even if you read it and it says are you free for dinner next thursday and do you have to reply right away? you can't wait ten minutes you could be addicted and for all the gen y who like to think you're better at multitasking because you grew up with technology then why do you keep crashing your cars when you're texting you're not better at multitasking it's better to distract yourself actually if you look at the statistics ad D and ADHD have been diagnosed with ADHD D and ADHD have increased by 66% in the

last

10 years it's ok ad D and ADHD is a frontal lobe disorder, are you?
TRUE? Are you telling me that out of nowhere? 66% of our youth have a frontal lobe problem. Where did that come from? No, it's a misdiagnosis, right? distraction inability to do things easily easily distracted you know inattention it's all the same why we misdiagnose things is this is the addictive quality of dopamine we can also become addicted to performance in our companies when all they do is give us numbers to hit numbers to hit numbers to hit and you get a bonus and you get a bonus and you get a bonus all they're doing is feeding us dopamine and we can't help ourselves all we do is want more more MORE it's no surprise that the bank destroyed the economy because one of the things we know about dopamine addicts is that they will do anything to take another hit sometimes sacrificing their own resources and relationships. they are doing and if they wasted any of their resources it is an addiction dopamine is dangerous if unbalanced it is helpful when you are in a comfortable and balanced system but when unbalanced it is dangerous and destructive you do not need anyone's help to make it work work for a career achieve your goals you'll get dopamine you'll get endorphins but you won't have any feelings of fulfillment or love or trust that's where these come in these are trying to manage these this is what makes our society great this is where people like JohnnyBravo it is because of these two chemicals that

leaders

really fulfill their great responsibilities out in the world there is danger at all times for various reasons in caveman times that danger may have been a saber tooth tiger may have been the weather may have been a lack of resources may have been who knows a number of things things that without conscience are trying to kill you want to end your life and so how do we survive? we work together and together we come together in our groups in our companies in our tribes to feel like we belong to be around people who believe what we believe so that we can feel safe when we are around people who have our best interests in mind and we feel safe we will organize and cooperate to face external dangers.
Don't forget that external dangers are a constant in a modern world. External dangers may be your competition that is trying to put you out of business or at least steal your business. Siness could be a non-flow economy could be terrorism all these unknowns all trying to put you out of business take your job take your livelihood kill you nothing personal is a constant within our organizations the dangers we face are not a constant they are a variable and they are the

leaders

hip decisions regarding how safe they make us feel when we go to work this is the job of the leaders aesop said it better than me there is a fable of aesop about four oxen that stand tail to tail and each Whenever the lion tries to eat them no matter what angle it attacks from, they will always be met with horns, however, due to infighting and disagreements, they separate and go to graze in different parts of the field and one by one the lion picks them up and kills them all when we stick together we can more easily face external dangers when we split up within our companies if our Our leaders do not allow us the space to feel safe within our own companies to feel like we belong, we have to, we are forced to exert our own energy to protect ourselves from each other and, in the process, expose ourselves to greater danger from the outside. if you have to worry about politics if you have to worry about someone stealing your credit if you have to worry about your boss not having your back think about the energy you invest not your business not the products you're trying to develop not the your work not on how well you're producing not on your creativity but just to stay safe this is Dee the responsibility of leadership has two things one to determine who gets in and who doesn't this is what it means start with why what are our values, what are our beliefs, who can we allow. the second thing is to decide how big this is how big we make the circle of security how big we make the circle of belonging we keep it around our C level executives and we call it an inner circle and let others try and fend for themselves themselves and maybe try to get into our inner circle or we extend it to the outermost limits of the organization great leaders extend the circle of safety the circle of belonging to the outermost limits so that the younger person feels like they belong It sure feels like they got top cover from someone like Johnny Bravo that's what these other two chemicals are trying to do serotonin is the leader chemical is responsible for feelings of pride and status when you are that's why public recognition is very important we are social animals and we need the recognition of others that is why we have the Oscars and that is why we We have public awards events that's why we have the commencement of graduation I mean think about it what it really takes to get to graduate school you need to pay your bills meet the minimum requirements and accumulate enough credits that's right it's a formula you might get an email that says congratulations you met all the requirements for graduation and clothes please print the PDF of your diploma PD magna laude right you wouldn't feel so good right so instead we have a big ceremony to recognize the achievement and in the audience we put our family and our friends and our teachers all of those in our tribe who have supported us and had our backs while we made it and then we show up that day and go up on that stage and take our diploma it feels great we feel like our state increases we feel our pride increases and, by the way, when you have serotonin in your veins, your confidence also n increases and this is the best part of serotonin at the exact moment that you took your diploma and that surge of serotonin runs through your body at the exact moment that your parents sitting in the audience also received a surge of serotonin and also felt intense pride in seeing him graduate and this is what the serotonin is trying to do: he is trying to reinforce the relationship between father and son boss and employee coach and player the caretaker see and this is Greta grateful for the support you give her and think about it listen to the speeches we give if you give an award to someone they say i couldn't have done it i thank god i thank my parents i thank my coach i thank the person we think was taking care of us we couldn't have done this without them we say and they look at us and say very proud of you and we work to make you proud great teams i don't want to win the trophy great teams want to win one for the coach they want to make the coach proud we want to make our parents proud and that elevates our status and boosts our confidence and it feels good and we in turn will take care of others so they can achieve the same.
This is what serotonin is desperately trying to do. The problem is that you can fool serotonin. We live in a materialistic society, so we judge status very often in our country based on how much money you earn. display of wealth raises your status th that's why they put logos on the outside no good on the inside no one can see them we want the red line of our prodigal asses how good you want a pair of designer shoes how good it feels to put on your shoes Gucci OMG it feels so good you walk out and feel like a million bucks.
In fact, you can feel your confidence rise when you put on. You put things right because it's displaying this status token. It feels great. The problem is that there was nothing real. relationship that was reinforced that's why you cheated on the system that's why we keep trying to achieve things and accumulate more and more material goods and yet we never felt successful because there was no relationship we cheated on it we won it serotonin is the chemical of leadership the reason I called chemical leadership it is a historical reason a very simple historical reason we had a very practical problem while our animal was developing while Homo Sapien was developing we lived in communities of around one hundred and 150 people and it is a very practical issue, which is if we are hungry and someone brings food and drops a dead body on the floor we all go running to eat and if you're lucky enough to be a linebacker you elbow your way to the front and if you're the artist in the family you get elbowed in the face .
It's not a good system to keep the whole tribe alive and definitely not a good system for cooperation because it reminds of the value of group life. It means if I trust you and you trust me I can fall asleep at night and I trust you will alert me to danger if I don't trust you I can't go to sleep at night it's the same in our companies if we trust each other we we'll turn our backs we'll take risks we'll innovate we'll do things that will change the course of our world if i don't trust you i can't do that i can't do that there is value in group living and group work so if you get nudged in the face that afternoon, the chances are very high that you won't go. g to wake up the guy who hit you if there's danger there you just won't do it bad system and so we evolved into hierarchical animals we constantly evaluate and judge each other constantly organize ourselves who's the Alpha who's the dominant who's the one who is he is the most dominant personality or the dominant talent in the room in caveman times it could have been physical muscle in the creative industry it could have been talent in the military it could have been courage there is no standard by which we judge the alphas, it's relative to the industries they were in and it's also relative to us, if you've ever met someone and were nervous while you were meeting them, you're not the alpha, we've all had the experience we're in. meeting someone and we can feel they're nervous about meeting us you're the alpha i'll tell you a little bit aside it's kinda funny you know when all women live together their menstrual cycles line up correctly assuming they're not taking the after pill does not work well, but if you are not taking the pill that all the dimensional cycles go together at the same time, it is not arbitrary, they always align with the time of the alpha females and the reason is because when a woman is in her menstrual cycle she can't have children and so in evolutionary terms you want the alpha male, the male, the female to do it so she can have alpha children, the pretty, strong, robust children are going to survive, but if she's out of the market, that breeds competition, so mother nature has created a very clever way that when she's out of the market, everyone's out of the market and they're back in the conversation, so ue we are constantly judging and evaluating who is the right alpha and what we do is when we assess that someone else is the Alpha we voluntarily take a step back and allow them to eat first alphas get first choice of meat and first choice of good mate system good system the alpha eats first the rest of us may not get the best cut of meat but eventually we'll eat and not get elbowed in the face a good system will happily alert them to danger later a good system that's why we're here constantly trying to raise our status is because there are benefits to being the Alpha, people will do things for us and step back and offer us favors right?
We are and to this day feel perfectly comfortable giving special treatment to our alphas. Nobody has any problem. May your boss earn more money than you. You might think he's an idiot, but you don't. I have no problem with him making more money. Nobody has any problem. That someone with a higher rank than us at work has a bigger office than ours. It doesn't offend us. and the first choice of mate it's good to be the king there are perks that come with being the Alpha you get special treatment you are the first to eat people show you love and respect boost serotonin you walk like this boost your confidence it's amazing but com comes at a cost You see, the group is not stupid. better fed and the person who is actually teaming up with serotonin and actually has a higher trust in the rest of us expect them to run into danger to protect us this is what it means to be a leader the cost of leadership is self interest if you're not willing to give up your perks when it matters then you probably shouldn't be promoted you may be an authority but you won't be a leader leadership has a cost you can't do less work when you get the more senior you have to do the more work and the more work you have to do is put yourself at risk to take care of others that is the anthropological definition of what a leader is that is why we are so offended by these bankers who pay themselves astronomical salaries it has nothing to do with the number it has to do With the fact that they have violated a deeply ingrained social contract, we know that they made all that money and allowed their ge to be sacrificed.
Before, in fact, they might have sacrificed their people for money if I told you we're going to give Nelson Mandela a hundred and fifty million dollars, but someone has a problem with that, no, two hundred and fifty million dollars a mother Teresa, I have a problem with that, no, it's not the number, it's not the amount of money they make, it's that we are deeply and viscerally offended because we know that we allowed them to have this alpha position and they did not fulfill their Alpha responsibilities they are supposed to that they must sacrifice for us they never sacrifice us for themselves this is why we are angry and offended and we don't trust them they fail oh there is more oxytocin this is the best chemical of all oxytocin is the feeling of love and trust and friendship is everything how warm and fuzzy it's all about unicorns and rainbows is the reason we like to spend time with our friends even if we don't do anything with them we just sit and watch tv n we love your company i promise you almost everyone sitting in this room today chose the person you are sitting next to you you are not sitting next to a stranger you are sitting next to someone you met came with or or you know a little bit why because it makes you feel more secure, doesn't it if you just get up and walk away? and sitting next to strangers wouldn't feel so good that's the feelingfrom oxytocin oxytocin is that intense feeling of security that someone has your back there are many ways to get oxytocin one way to get it is physical contact hugging feels wonderful right now when women give birth a big rush of oxytocin in his body this is what is responsible for the mother father the mother-child bond true is all that oxytocin in the system this is why shaking hands is important imagine you are making a deal with someone and you're ready to sign the contract and you say I'm very excited to do business with you and they say: I don't need to shake it off let's sign the contract I'm excited to do business with you too you're doing great let's shake it off so they say no no I agree to all the terms we are going to make this deal i cant wait to work with you there you can get everything you want in the contract but business relationships are not rational its about s feeling safe, it's about feeling like we belong, he's human and one of the ways we want to know that relationship solidifies is with physical contact his simple refusal to touch you to exchange that oxytocin means one of two things will happen: or you'll ruin the deal completely or you will enter it.
Nervous human ties matter. Human generosity is defined as giving of your time and energy and expecting nothing in return. Money doesn't work. I'm sorry if I told you that this morning I gave a thousand dollars to charity. What would you think of me? you what do you want a medal but if i told you

last

saturday i gave up my day and went and painted schools downtown then what would you think you'd be like nice cool i should rather do my hand's worth of work much less than a thousand dollars could have hired many more people for a thousand dollars to go paint schools in the center of the city, but as human beings we give a premium to time because it is an equal good and it is not a redeemable good you spend money you make money you spend time you will never get it back some of you are sitting in this room right now saying i will never get this time back i have nothing for you so we reward people who give us their time and energy a leader who tells you I pay something not a leader a leader comes and sits next to you and tells you how I can help you is a leader I was talking to some oil executives and they were trying to convince me that they really care how satisfying you are happy and happy his employees are at work to which i said no and they said no and i said no and they said yes we see how he wins this and i said i bet he hired some tall price. consultancy to come and do a web survey on whether people like their work or not and they said well we didn't hire a consultancy.
I said ok so it's like sending an email to your son, dear son, your mother and I care about you. feel like a valued part of this family please tell us honestly what we can do better to make you feel like you belong here because we really love you love dad or you walk into his room you sit on his bed and say hello son your mom and i really care that feel like a valued member of this family please tell us candidly what we can do better because we want you to feel like you belong and we truly love you the same words the same intention the same wish the difference is one that you gave time and energy and the other that You didn't do this.
This is the problem with the email. It's easy. It's very easy. It doesn't waste time or energy. It's very easy. You don't feel anything. If I go to your house for dinner, you make me a delicious dinner the next day. thank you email what a wonderful host you are or three days later you receive a handwritten note from me with the exact same words that were written in the email unique which one makes you feel better handwritten note the sentiment was the same the words were the same the difference is that one took a little more time and a little more energy leaders are the ones who give us their time and give us their energy not the ones who give us their money it doesn't count it doesn't work just biologically it doesn't work that's how you get oxytocin nice things for people that require you to sacrifice a little time a little energy something you'll never get back and if you wait for something to change that you weren't really giving in the first place you take someone out to dinner because you want them to hire you you're not actually going to take them out to dinner you want something in return it's just a long transaction it's not a relationship it's silly I was walking the streets from New York true story and the boy in front of me his backpack opened a pile of full paper it spilled on the street he didn't give it much importance I bent down I picked up the papers I handed them back to him and pointed out that his bag opened I did a little act of kindness for someone got a little burst of oxytocin felt good too the person receiving the act of generosity feels good gets a shot of oxytocin felt good says thank you I get to the end of the block and I'm standing waiting to cross the street and a guy who is also standing waiting to cross the street turns around the true story turns around and tells me i saw what you did back there that was really cool as he happens to witness an act of human generosity releasing oxytocin remembering our bodies Arkansas Trying to get us to repeat behaviors that suit us and makes us feel good when we see or do acts of human generosity so that we do, in fact, the more oxytocin you have in your body, the more generous you are actually what you know is that the more you do the more you want to do, the better that a lot of oxytocin in your body inhibits the addiction, it makes it very difficult to get addicted to something when you have a lot of oxytocin, your body actually kicks the addiction, it increases your system immune system makes you healthier that's why happy people live longer that's why couples live longer oxytocin it's actually good for us increases our problem solving ability increases our creativity it's really good for us and it's not addictive it just feels great it takes time to build , although you know that if I had a date with a girl the other day, there is a first date, we totally agree, great, we are getting married, why are you laughing?
That is my social life. The reason you laugh is because you inherently know that I can't form a bond of trust strong enough to get married in seven days. I've been dating someone for seven years and we're not married yet. What do you say? What's happening? In other words, we know that this bond of trust takes more than seven days. In less than seven years. I don't know how long it takes. although then when you start a new job and you're very excited to work there and they're very excited to have you you don't feel like you belong yet you don't feel like they trust you, do you? they were so excited their leaks take time and you have to do little acts of generosity and make little sacrifices do little things for people no big risks little risks its like dating you know you dont start by buying them a diamond you start by taking them for lunch buying them a drink you know a little so they take you out or you take them out again you do something a little bigger then you do that in a movie then they come and then you buy them flowers and then you tell them I love you and one day you wake up in the morning it's like you push this belief button i'm just in love i don't know when it happened it just clicks and you feel like you belong the same at work the same at work it just clicks and you feel like you belong because you have enough oxytocin built up in your system we don't let this happen we are too busy emailing we are too busy emailing the pr next time i want to say something to someone email is great for exchanging information right it's great here is the report you wanted four o'clock meetings great what did you think of my idea?
I'll tell you what I thought about your idea and I promise you. Not only will that information be better received, but it will begin to create a relationship because the oxytocin begins to be released. If you can't get up and walk 30 feet, pick up the phone. I did it. the phone you talk hey they're like hey what's up they're like no i'm just replying to your email i wanted to tell you what i thought what and the people who tell me but i need a paper record they have the conversation hangs up and says just to confirm what we talked about boom there is your paper trail the reason we get so many emails is because we reply to all of them and twelve emails are sent and then someone misunderstands something and someone gets mad and then you have to pick up the phone and deal with it anyway at first faster easier better biology gives your time and your energy and that's why leadership is really hard because you can't give it to everyone because you don't have enough to give to everyone just c But you have to make sure that you can trust the others to trust others to trust others to trust others and this is what happens in the circle of belonging in the circle of security this is the Effective bureaucracy who is both the CEO and the leader or whatever their job is, has one responsibility and one responsibility only which is to make sure that the people they meet with whom they have physical contact know their names. those who work below them who work below them and when this group of people really feel safe they will invite the customer to feel safe too they will talk to these people as if they were human I actually flew on an airline recently and I i was appalled by the way i was treated it was disgusting i was like cattle and i said something i said why do you treat people like cattle and she literally said sorry sir i have to do it or me i me my job what did she say to me, the organization I work for does not make me feel safe. he feels safe and says sir i will do everything in my power to make sure he feels happy and well because i am not concerned that is called a highly effective organization there is one more chemical i have not told you about Big C cortisol cortisol is the feeling of stress and the feeling of anxiety we share these chemicals with all social mammals so when you see a herd of gizelle, you've seen the documentary about the discovery or whatever, you'll see a herd of gazelle grazing and one of them thinks they hear a rustle in the grass and they go head over heels that's what cortisol does cortisol is designed to keep us alive it's the first stage of fight or flight it makes us paranoid it makes all our senses hyper tuned to look out for danger that injects glucose into our muscles to make you rigid and ready to go should we need to fight or flee increases our heart rate or like crazy and it makes us start looking it makes us paranoid to find danger and the good thing about cortisol when you're working in a social setting is if other people sense you're nervous they get nervous so all the other gazelles go away they don't they heard nothing they just saw Steve there he really freaked out and they freaked out and now they all start looking for danger. good system and one of them who didn't even hear the initial whisper in the grass sees the lion run everyone runs everyone lives another day good system so that when we go to work and someone says i think there will be layoffs all of us are like what do you mean? wait there will be we're all paranoid now we're all free i shouldn't have talked at that meeting oh we're starting to get crazy we're starting to get paranoid our hearts are starting to race so what cortisol Is it trying to keep us alive?
You wake up in the middle of the night you hear a knock in the middle of the night eh what is the first thing you do you wake up the person next to you and then what do they do they go and if there is nothing there you go and trust your eyes Go to look for it, we are visual animals, right? If there is nothing there, you go as if this cortisol leaves our body and we relax and a heartbeat goes back down. you need to shut down non-essential systems because you have to get it from somewhere right so it shuts down things like growth you don't need your fingernails to shut it down at that point the other thing it shuts down is our immune system.
I don't need it at the moment. The problem is, you're not supposed to have cortisol in your system all the time. You're supposed to have it and then disappear. And when we go to work in a place that doesn't make us feel. like we belong that doesn't make us feel safe when we're at work guess what t we have little bits of cortisol dripping in our body drip drip drip makes her paranoid drip i know my bus hates me i know he hates me i hate he hates all my insights I know drip drip makes me selfish one of the things cortisol does biologically inhibits the release of oxytocin if you work in a high stress environment where you don't feel safe you were biologically less empathetic and less giving we don't care about each other others because we are too busy trying to protect ourselves drip drip drip our immune system is now compromised drip drip drip we live in the country with some of the best medical education in the world some of the bestmedical systems in the world some of the best doctors in the world some of the best hospitals in the world some of the best medicines in the world please explain to me why diabetes is on the rise heart disease is on the rise some cancers are on the rise no it's hot the partially hydrogenated oils our jobs are killing us and the people who are responsible are the leaders and we also know that the parents who come home stressed because their children learn that this is work, that work is something that it makes you moody and unhappy, and that they expect it as they get older, we know that parents coming home upset and angry have such a negative impact on their children that there are some studies that show they might actually become bullies because of their unhappy parents who hate their job and have an excessive amount of stress.
Our companies are literally killing us, so what are you going to do about it? about it leadership is not a rank leadership is not a position leadership is a decision leadership is a choice it has nothing to do with your position in the organization if you decide to take care of the person to your left and take care of the person to your right you've become a leader you've seen the movie 300 to the right the spartans the greatest fighting force of all time you want to know one of the things that made the spartans great wasn't their muscles it wasn't their spears it was their shields, they stood shield to shield and the phalanx was stronger because all those shields were big and when they were kids they were told to either bring their shield home or come home on their shield the punishment for losing your shield was tremendous in battle because if you lost your shield that means you can't protect the person on your left and the person on your right and you have destroyed the Phalanx, it's the shield that matters, not the spear, not the spear, it's your will to sa criticize yourself, not your life, maybe your credit, maybe your little tie, maybe a little energy, maybe they taught you, you know, maybe get up from your desk and talk to someone for thirty minutes instead of texting of three. one minute email is your willingness to sacrifice for someone to hold that shield so they feel safe what makes you a leader and want to know how to beat a dopamine addiction if you are wor I am convinced you are addicted to performance and all this dopamine stuff.
Alcoholics Anonymous has been highly effective for decades, 80-odd years. We all know the first step of the twelve steps. We joke about it. step don't say it's supposed to be anonymous I'll tell you what step 12 is Alcoholics Anonymous knows that if you master the eleven steps but not the twelfth you will drink again if you master step twelve you will beat disease what the twelfth step the twelfth step is commitment to help another alcoholic service service to another oxytocin wins Sara Tosun when serotonin wins the more we care for each other the safer we feel the more we feel we belong and the more we will work together to Face the dangers outside do this for others others and the others will become Johnny Bravo thank you very much

If you have any copyright issue, please Contact