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Ricky Gervais Roasting People To Their Face

Ricky Gervais Roasting People To Their Face
because I would love to try and stand up I'd love to do stand up I think you'd be good I think you'll be good you say that but when I try and write a joke I get I get the opening bit I say that's a funny idea Madonna's got divorced and I think yeah where's my right you know I don't well yeah I never knew you were this weird really you can't do it together for a couple of days I know absolutely mental in a nice way yeah yeah yeah but so if you do win an award tonight don't use it as a platform to make a political speech right you're in no position to lecture the public about anything you know nothing about the real world most of you spent less time in school than Greta thundberg so if you win right come up except your little award thank your agent and your God so oh no no funny business there you go not on this show oh no it's a joke that's a joke what are you wearing it's already turned up in a gray something they wouldn't even have in TK Maxx look at it how much time you spin in London I know you got a house here how much time you spend here how much time you spend in London well between the two probably a bit more in London but you know yeah I like I like to come here as often as I can I heard the taxes bloody awful in London um in England is it just crazy well I'm like you I like paying tax because it's giving something back stop all the sudden say chill bro sorry sorry uh sorry um yeah you're not...
ricky gervais roasting people to their face
you're still you're not giving them you know they come out they Park

their

cars they've got babies that they haven't paid why would you that'd be mental but if I was you I'd be going thank you so much these

people

and giving them you know what I mean a new series of extras starts this week uh congratulations on well on getting a second series essentially but also congratulations on already up it's next week you I was sorry it was um I mean you know you didn't write it and that's but do it like but do it like it's your do it like you were clever enough to come up with this joke yourself okay into the Achilles heel of everybody like when you tell a woman who's you know that her that it's you know she looks old that just hits a woman deep in it which I think you said something about the Sex and the City women like about right it was airbrushed and I said we know we know how old you are girls I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza no I was saying why lie there's no there's nothing wrong with being 50 or looking 50. is the star of the hilarious comedy the Martian I nearly died right he's also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to please Welcome Matt Damon thank you um foreign I've only got a day to live and I said what do you want to do and then and then when that didn't happen what is it yeah and then when that thing happened Make A Wish Foundation I'd like to go on Jimmy Fallon...
ricky gervais roasting people to their face
please and so you know that's not what you said no no I didn't yeah you want to do something else and then I said anything but Jimmy it's worked together do you ever go on holiday together can you imagine that oh it would be horrible just think of the pictures me looking pretty cool and sort of tired and the thing naked he looks like one of those baby fish you can actually see through his body you're one of about five

people

that have been invited round my house I'm a very sort of private person apart from like you know Workman and Postman um and uh they make me feel special yeah rounding refuge collector at least they're useful yeah I can't believe this uh you had a birthday and is it 50 years old you're not 50 years old are you really 50 50. yeah I mean you look tremendous you look like you're 35 if somebody had to say to me uh how old I said the 35 a 35 honestly you look exactly like you did the first except you're in better shape remember you used to come out your sort of pear-shaped when you come out now you look great if you looked you didn't say that at the time though oh I didn't know I didn't know what to think well no he said oh you look good now because I looked awful before that's all you're saying I needed you to say it before you've got your pear-shaped I'd have worked out faster but now but but how how do you feel at 50 good right oh yeah I'm grumpier I think I'm grumpier grumpier yeah...
ricky gervais roasting people to their face
yeah I understand you a lot more now I picked it on me no thank you so about our next two presenters the first is an actor producer writer and director whose movies have grossed over three and a half billion dollars at the box office he's won two Academy Awards and three Golden Globes for his powerful and varied performances starring in such films as Philadelphia Forrest Gump Castaway Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan the other is Tim Allen well you know like like many of you we recall back when

Ricky

Gervais

was a slightly chubby but very kind comedian yeah neither of which is he now mainly Star Trek memorabilia because I love Star Trek no I've never been in a Star Trek but I love the Original Series so I have like I have the Gorn head from the original series from the episode Arena where I know I know oh my God every time you're on the program I try to do this and it's always comes out very clumsy let me try it one more time possibly the best television show ever what do you think oh possibly what do you mean what have you named your private parts Pamela thanks presenter is the Queen of Pop not you out and sit down this is she's all woman I'll give you some Clues she's always Vogue she's a material girl and she's just like a virgin please welcome Madonna if I'm still Just Like a Virgin

Ricky

then why don't you come over here and do something about it I haven't kissed a girl in a few years on TV reminds me of some of...
great work that's been done this year by cosmetic surgeons um it's an honor to be here um in a room full of what I consider to be the most important

people

on the planet actors they're just they're just better than ordinary

people

aren't they that's no we all know that um imagine a world without actors oh God it doesn't bear think about it imagine if I ever went on strike oh what would we do you couldn't replace them you couldn't replace them with any other profession lawyers or doctors can you imagine a real surgeon doing what Hugh Laurie does in-house it would be pathetic it'd be all over the place we go no where do I stand how's my American accent what what's my lines you know Hugh with the aid of coaches that could eventually learn these lines while saving lives he's a genius how could you replace Kiefer Sutherland in 24 I'd love to see a real anti-terrorist agent try and defuse a bomb in a busy train station in one hour some of those scenes by the way where Kiefer grabs on and beats him to a pulp they weren't even in the script um the director just said keep rolling we're working into the actors aren't just loved here in Hollywood they are loved the world over because they're recognizable you can be any you could be in the third world okay and you get a glimpse of a Hollywood star and it makes you feel better okay you could be a little a little child a little Asian child with no possessions and no...
money but you get a you see a picture of Angelina Jolie and you think mummy foreign