POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS REAL!!

Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. I was dying to film this specific video because I know you had a lot of questions about childbirth,

postpartum

and a lot of umami stuff because now I can finally relate to a lot of moms especially. because I mean new mom and as you can see I'm inside a baby's room right now and the only reason I don't mind showing you as part of their room is because I already showed you their wallpaper. so yeah, but isn't it so cute? Its theme is unicorn. The wallpaper has cute unicorns and rainbows and castles and all that. but if you guys are new to this channel hello my name is elsie i give away 100 and every one of my videos i just have to deal with just comment like and subscribe also dont forget to comment your cash app so i did .

I mentioned in my last video that I'm going to be answering questions that you guys have and I actually did a little Instagram to ask myself a bunch of questions and you guys asked me a

real

ly good question so I was kind of excited to shoot this video because I almost feel that I just need a van and I feel like I have a ton of friends now as a lot of you can relate to and I hope it helps some of you or is informative to some of you but I'm going to talk to you about what I experienced and I'm going to To be 100% honest with you guys, so to start with I got a question where someone asked me how far my contractions were and how did I know when to go to the hospital and is there any way to speed up as well. the process of giving birth or dilating further, but like I said, I'm going to be very, very honest with you, I'm going to tell you how it started from the beginning, because if you've seen my previous videos, you know that you and I are stuck in a hotel because the hospital was super far from our place and I was already four centimeters dilated when we decided to go to the hotel and we just wanted to be safe and be close to the hospital in case my water broke so we stayed up in a hotel if I want to say almost a week, it was like five days, but the only reason we decided to go to the hospital on Saturday morning was around three-odd.

I don't know what time it was in the west because my doctor's office recommended a bunch of things where you can speed up your dilation faster and sex was one of them so I

real

ly hope no underage girls see this video because I don't want you parents to come at me and hate me for a bit. I'm about to say so you and I decided to do that and then after the sex happened we decided to go to the hospital when we got there I was actually two inches tall that's so if you guys are wondering does sex work Yeah.

It works because I was four and I ended up going up to six and that's when it all happened but I'm going to cover all of that as I answer questions because you guys asked me questions related to that so the first question I'm going to answer is how long was I in labor, okay? if we got there around four o'clock when we showed up i was six and we were dilated they used pitocin i think i might be saying wrong it's the medicine that helps you dilate more but it wasn't working for me so i woke up i was new it was like 12 o'clock the afternoon and I was still six centimeters dilated so the pitocin pitocin I think I'm like you said wrong I think I'm saying it wrong it's like pitocin platysm panacha baptism I don't know, since I was still 16 minutes dilated, my doctor decided break my bag and it was around 11 when she decided to break my water and let me tell you once she broke my bag ok i don't mean like 10 minutes later my contractions started like this and they were extreme ly extremely painful and that's when the The next question is from 1 to 10 how strong the contractions were.

I really want to scare people who are about to go into labor but I'm going to say it was like 15. and this is with my pain tolerance, I honestly think I have a high pain tolerance and I still think it was like a 15. it was super super super uh i don't know i honestly didn't expect contractions to feel like this i honestly thought they were going to be so much less painful i don't know why i thought they were going to be so bad but i was wrong because those damn contractions they were so big and then this is where the next question comes in, why did i decide not to do it? get the pain med which is the epidural so i've been saying my whole pregnancy i really want to go natural that was my goal i wanted to go to the hospital and do it natural i already had the mindset that i wanted to do and actually though when my contractions were starting i mean when i was like 20 minutes after you broke my water i was asking for the epidural the contractions were too painful i was like no i can't honestly feel like if you were being stabbed in the womb but probably the pain was ten times worse i don't know i don't even know how to explain the pain the pain was so bad all the time my contractions were going up i was just kicking my feet like i didn't know what to do like i feel so uncomfortable like i literally feel like you just want to get a knife and leave it was as bad as me and i know it sounds so scary but i'm just saying for myself i xexperience i didn't know what to do i felt like i was going crazy i felt like i wasn't in a mental institution and i wanted to kill people and that's how painful it was and my goal was to leave and naturally i just climbed out the window i was just like fuck I don't care about this.

This is my body. This is how I feel right now. This is how much pa I'm in right now, but I'm going to say this. I got really lucky with that girl who wanted to cum really, really fast because I felt like she needed to do a big dump. It was around 2 p.m. m., but then this. That's when the next question comes up like how long was I pushing so I wasn't pushing for that long I mean I was pushing for half an hour I thought it was 10 minutes I swore it was like 10 minutes but I guess I was in so much pain that I lost track of time and now this is when the next question comes: you guys ask me if I booed myself and no it's not surprising that I didn't but let me tell you when I lift it up in so much pain don't give up you don't care even if shut up I wouldn't care it probably would have been like I just had a fucking ass baby and I don't care right now because I'm in a lot of pain and then the next question I read a lot was if I was ashamed if the nurses and him saw all my vagina and not I wasn't because like I said when you guys are in so much pain you don't care, like I could have been on Instagram live showing you my vagina and I wouldn't have cared because I was in so much pain and then another question I was asked was if I tore and they had to stitch me down there and I tore but I don't know how much, just because I didn't ask my OB when she was stitching me up, but I know. that I got stitches and I'm not that mad about it because you didn't mention that you put extra stitches down there so technically I'm a virgin again and it's like down there so I don't care at all I know A lot of people are worried because he thinks that having a baby naturally messes up your vagina, but I basically had to have free surgery to make it tighter, so yeah, I got a question where, um, someone asked me if sex feels the same afterward. getting stitches or after giving birth because many people think they like their hole it just gets super loose and super big which is not the case at all but after giving birth you have to wait six weeks to do anything, go inside a jacuzzi to go to the pool, you can't work out. i can't have sex so that's my answer um i haven't had sex because you can't have sex because you might rip it or you might just get an infection like it's unhygienic and it's not safe because you need to give your kitty time to heal.

You can't lift anything heavy, so yes, that's my answer. I haven't had sex, but I'm not going to lie. Too much information I'm so sorry but I told you I was going to be 100% honest with you and at the end of the day I'm a mom now so I can't act childish and like ew i'm talking about being sick you get me like yeah obviously everyone knows i broke up because i had a kid so that's it and then this is mommy talk i hope it's just girls talking to me right now we're having girl talk we're having mom talk we're talking about what what's really going on with mommy and our kitty and all that crazy stuff and i'm going to put screenshots of things i've been using to help mikey heal because you guys really need to take care of him and then another question about our kitties down there you guys ask me what so painful is if i could sit if i could walk surprisingly i was walking pretty normal it didn't hurt that much um it hurt just as much to sit especially when i nursed her like in bed um oh my god it hurt so bad but i was using a lot of ice packs to numb it it helped a bit but then again the ice packs were so thick i felt like i had a collapse there.

I feel like

postpartum

is very, very uncomfortable and painful, but it's just one of the processes we have to go through. after giving birth so we'll have to deal with it and i always tell myself the pain is only temporary the recovery is only temporary and it hasn't been that bad i won't leave you guys i honestly thought after giving birth would feel like i just had like a big surgery but no it wasn't that bad i want to see my kitty's pain level there after it was like a six it wasn't that bad though it was like a 10 with discomfort, I do not.

I don't know if that's a word but yeah when you get up and walk around it almost feels like your vagina weighs like 100lbs but I haven't had my six week appointment yet so I hope I pray I took good care of it well and it's healing pretty well so the next question was now that i experienced giving birth do i want more kids it's funny you have to ask me that because i'm kidding with you now right after i gave birth i said yes. i don't want any more kids i was like no thanks alani she's good we're ready she's the only one we need a After experiencing this i don't want to have any more kids but again i was talking emotionally i was talking about how i felt right there but i don't know I do want more children and the only reason I say that is because Since I had my firstborn naturally, this is how I would like all my labors to go.

I don't want to administer painkillers and I don't know if I'll be able to handle that like I know I shouldn't be talking. I myself shouldn't be so hard on myself but I really don't want to get the pain medication and I'm not saying it's bad to get it I personally didn't want to get it I honestly don't know I don't know just because it was so painful and i don't want to get any pain meds if i decide to have more kids but i don't know if i can do that i'm not a bunch of you guys i'm not going to be a hard fish and be like you know what you know what i have this because I don't have it no thanks I'm so traumatized and I don't know if it's because It's still fresh but I'm holding the kids back right now.

Another reason I see that is because I want to enjoy my baby right now. She is a newborn. I really want to enjoy the baby hairs. I really want to focus on my pay attention to her so no like right now I don't want to have any more kids so the next question was do I have stretch marks I don't have stretch marks I'm going to put a screenshot of what I wear to prevent stretch marks, but disclaimer. I'm telling you this right now, I'm not promoting this product to prevent you from getting stretch marks because you have to keep in mind that stretch marks come from genetics and I read an article where a doctor said that. they can put hundreds of different oils to prevent stretch marks like cocoa butter they can put anything they can say they can put literally anything and if your family has those genetic experiences because of stretch marks they will eventually stretch marks by which i mean we all are different and also my body type so you just have to keep in mind that I am a five eight time and I have a very long torso so basically I had a lot of room for the baby to go and not just that she was small so i feel like that helped me a lot as to why my stomach didn't really stretch that much and why i didn't really gain that much weight so yeah it's perfectly fine if you use the stretch marks stretch it's not a big deal i have stretch marks on my butt i have stretch marks on my hips on my inner thighs like i don't know a single girl who doesn't have stretch marks even men have stretch marks so it's perfectly fine at the end of the day you do s guys kicked out a human being and then that's all that matters and the next question was did you lose hair after giving birth.

I haven't seen a change in my hair, but I also think it's because I'm still taking my prenatals. I know it has a lot to do with hair loss after givinglight. I heard them stop. taking your prenatal you guys are going to see a big difference with your hair and i'm still taking my prenatals and these are the prenatals i'm taking i'm going to take a picture and just put it somewhere here for you guys and the next question i got was did i have postpartum

depression

so I'm going to say yes because I mean the first two weeks and I think that's why I haven't really been active on social media or I haven't really been on youtube because I haven't given myself time to realize that I was going through postpartum

depression

and just needed time to get rid of all of that, but I think what has helped me is having a good support system around me, a good partner that you have to keep. telling yourself it's normal it's ok it's not your fault we got through it I would say try not to avoid it and actually let yourself feel so you can release it and as the days go by I promise you will . get better because i want to see the first two weeks after giving birth was the worst it was hectic and now that she is a month old everything has gone so well so when people say the first two weeks are the hardest they have all the reason and the next question was did i keep my placenta, um i did. not to be honest i didn't really do any research on my placenta, maybe i should have, but maybe that's just a reiki mistake. you guys also asked me if punching out the placenta hurt as much as giving birth to a baby i don't think it was that painful um i do remember my OB warned me he just pushed on my stomach really hard and that's when i felt the placenta it came out but i dont think it hurt that much and the next question was did the hospital provide a special water to put in there when you go to pee so the hospital pretty much provides you with everything you need as i bought everything for postpartum i recommend you still go buy it because they don't give you much and the next question was if i needed to take a cover test yes i'm pretty sure every hospital will have you take a cover test before you deliver to avoid passing it on to your baby as well yes it is definitely a requirement that you get tested and i know this video is already very long but the next question was what did you use for me out of your hospital bag? um you don't really wear much of what i did about packing but it's better to pack silver than unpack but you don't really wear as maybe as the first outfit you'll wear baby in your postpartum essentials you don't need bottles unless you plan to give the baby formula right away but if you plan on breastfeeding you don't need bottles we don't really use much we just use her first outfit my stuff your personal hygiene stuff and I think that's pretty much it we use a diaper maybe as a blah.

You shouldn't worry about taking too many things because the hospital provides literally everything which helps a lot and the next question was do you plan on exercising or are you okay with my mom? Yes, I plan to exercise. but i can't work out until i get the green light after my six week appointment and i want to say yes i'm fine with my mom's body the difference i saw was with my tatas my boobs got hella hella implants and pens don't save you with that my boobs look so weird right now because my implants are like here you can see the sheet with my implants and then they're gone so my boobs look really really weird and i'm okay with Right now I'm planning to have my breasts done yes because I want a reduction I want smaller implants but I've been wanting smaller implants I was going to have surgery before I knew I was pregnant and I'm okay with my stomach right now I'm pretty much all with my body um , I'm not in a hurry to change anything right now, I'm just focusing on taking care of the baby and that's it, and then the following questions that I've been asked and I've been updating them. on snapchat about this is how it's pumping my verse how my milk supply is going so this is where my heart just breaks because unfortunately my milk supply i know i've been opening them on snapchat that oh yeah it's been coming on that se it's been it's been coming in so unfortunately my milk supply has been coming in extremely slow I think slower than the last time I snapchatted that a baby is officially on formula so I had to switch to formula and breast milk she's doing both I'm breastfeeding her so I'm doing all three right now I'm breastfeeding her I'm pumping and formula I haven't switched her over 100 to formula yet because I'm not giving up my breast milk I'm still doing as much as i can until i eat oatmeal i keep drinking whatever i have to drink i'm just doing everything at once to be honest i'm so eating those cookies g otham honestly it doesn't help but in my head I'm like please just give me a drop of breast milk I'm still nursing it I'm still pumping I pumped myself before and I could only get three ounces before I filmed this this is how life has come and I honestly think my milk supply reduced a lot because i had been stressing out what can i produce because i know if you get stressed that has a lot to do with your milk supply but i still have more to come i haven't completely dried up which i'm glad because i can still give her breast milk and i will continue to give her breast milk until my milk dries up completely and is perfectly fine because i know people say fat is better as long as the baby eats its ok i keep trying to tell myself that as long as my baby is being fed, that's all that matters and I'm an idiot.

I'm talking about people who don't breastfeed at all, but my personal goals were to breastfeed. arla and then change it to formula entirely. I wanted to nurse her for at least six months but my boob spoke my mind but yeah thank you guys so much for watching I know this video was incredibly long but I hope I covered almost everything and yes thank you so much for watching don't forget to participate in the giveaway, what they are going to do is comment how to subscribe and comment their cash app since we are talking about moms, vaginas and babies, I want to choose a mom for this giveaway, so just comment any comment, the name of your baby, comment what helped you speed up the process. your mom with the cash app so she can pick one of you to win hopefully in my next video it's the daycare so I can show you all because it's so cute but yeah I'll see you in my next video let's put your cheetah down there no it's pretty oh they can't even see you she's looking at me like who's this good I know I shouldn't be cussing so she was in the process of eating and I just grabbed her I'm so sure I am sure, right now you are going to tell me that you are already a month old, yes, how do I look like a mom?

Guys, like when I found out she was pregnant. like the only fun he kinda knew i was wrong at least i had my own little person to spoil your own little bottom oh she's so cute when she's getting so big it makes me so sad you know she's the cutest girl i've ever seen i think everything babies do is like the cutest thing ever you just want to like it ah even when she cries like it's not me i laugh and go oh my gosh because she's so cute except when she started to cry but when she cries she screams like a little braid and that she wants your food right away it's so cute now that i need baby girl you drink the whole bottle you're so mean it's alright she's alright you want one you want, chichi, I can give you a teaching, okay, I'll quickly take it out of the chamber and I'll be right.

Since she was a month old I was thinking about her and I was like once for birthday baby time for birthday and she said she was just kidding oh my god y'all she's getting so thick I love it , I love it. I love everything her chin I love her skin is so impeccable and so pretty she is so pretty I love her buttery nose I love her little ears I love everything I love her little mouth is so cute it's so cute I want her to stay like this small forever I don't want her to grow up I feel like since i have such a soft voice and i am talking very very softly um its perfect for me being a mom because i dont have to worry about waking up a baby she is like a smile let me show you guys