Podcast #275 - Choose Your Vacation

ding-ding-ding welcome back to it's getting harder to talk about how I look every day, yeah you look good, yeah no you know it, yeah welcome back to Jillian's

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, this episode is for you offers this summary, have

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Squarespace is made by Keanu Reeves so you should also go to Squarespace comm/- no Julian to get 10% off your first website or domain purchase or just check out a free trial which is completely free hit the link below to get started thank you sponsors goosebumps Personally I think you are a very illustrious stock of rompers that you have in your closet has been waiting mm-hmm It's the whole life of the rompers for now because you are rotating the rompers like it's your job , yeah, why do you have to roast me like that? Why do you have to expose me?

Well, first of all, it's not accepting that you're on camera and they can't see anything, you don't know, it could be a cool t-shirt, okay, that's how cameras work, oh yeah, no, okay, close your eyes now , just listen to the monkey, no, you know what it is, I don't like it, I like it. I love the way this guy loves the way this monkey is kind, well I mean I guess monkeys don't really serve any purpose other than what you're using them for, which is that we're stuck at home and it's functional unless you have to urinate or defecate.

I just take it off completely. I just pee and then change them. Oh wow, I just go and there's so much fabric it just absorbs. Julien there was no water on the floor, that is disgusting water. I'm calling the police let them say man please stop falling so I compose and empty the hoes Julian I'm losing control a little too yeah what's that he's being sensitive. I'll put the rat you found, if he wants a hug, he's sitting me down. You know, he is very funny when I was little, does he know that he is a compliment?

Okay, when he was feeding him this morning. You know, when you're going to breastfeed Julian, please, that's so wrong on so many levels when I gave him his medicine this morning. What do you know when you give him his medicine and many dogs will? If they have a pill, they'll spit it out and realize he's there because I have an idea like tricking him and tricking him, and when Kermit first came. diagnosed with Cushing's disease, I was giving it to him with peanut butter because I thought maybe he was going to be a dog that I had to trick and he always took it very easy, he was very good about it, yes, I literally threw it at him that pill on top of him like foo the same thing every day if he could eat every little particle of anything in that bowl he could, so he just sprinkles a little bit on top like you would a little piece of parmesan on pasta and they eat it all, it's a pill, he is naked.

You don't even have to like to mix it up, yes, they are disgusting and in fact, if the peach is eaten fast enough, she will accept Kermit's bold decision to eat the Med. I know I've seen her try to do that before I did. make. For that, I was a little treat because she's just a vacuum, dude, this morning, so usually I'm the one who gets up and feeds them, but this morning I fell asleep and you got up and fed them and I was a cuddled peach . and I was like half asleep, I wasn't actually asleep but I was trying to be and she makes this noise when food is presented to her, even though she thinks it's a baby food sound being presented to her because she likes to salivate in her mouth. and He shows it like not eating anything, just warming her jaw and just sucking on her tongue, it's that strong and then she shivered and I was holding her.

I was really trying like she was helping me sleep so I was just talking to her and I just felt this like shaking and licking and like a monster like she was transforming from a caterpillar to not a butterfly a monster mm-hmm and that's it peaches response to food, she would do anything for food, she has done anything, she has done anything and I have to break things down for her because even though she has teeth and can chew, sometimes she eats things so fast that He doesn't bother chewing or eating, he just doesn't choke on things.

Kermit sometimes chokes on things because she only has three teeth so she literally doesn't chew, but she eats so fast that I think she'll choke every time like she could choke. Yes, she is like her dad, one of those bulls where they have to like to solve it, like yes, we do. She should hate it, but that would give us enough time for Kermit to finish his food and Marble to finish her video or she goes there and tastes it every day, twice a day, goes there, tastes it, and then for an hour it's. licking all over the floor, that whole room and the side walls, anything can smell like the whole family is outside or in another room and Peach isn't there and I'm like Peach, where are you?

She's there licking the floor, all trying to get through 45 minutes. to maybe burn a calorie while burning probably like 50 she was burning too many calories looking for calories Oh God well that's a peachy mood burning too many calories looking for more calories send nudes stop making fun of me no that's what you are one time he says but it's noodles, yeah so it doesn't mean like nude pics, it means noodles because the nude is the first part of the noodles, smiling at me like that, you want to go on

vacation

. I would love to because we went on

vacation

last year. we were on vacation mm-hmm and we have tried like adults because I feel like I went ten years without taking a proper vacation like traveling to work, we are very lucky, very lucky to go to places that none of us expected, but were known for your job, so you're there for whatever reason and most of your time there feels like, getting there, you know, taking a tour, you know, getting ready for the day, a day off at the place where you find yourself Yes, but for ten years I didn't take a single week off on vacation, apart from Christmas, mm-hmm, which I always gave myself.

Usually you're a host family or you're traveling to see family and that's not really the case. I don't really have days off, yeah, you're not driving mm-hmm, yeah, whatever, um, last year, last year, yeah, in 2019 we decided to take a week off and we went to Hawaii and we had booked it months away and months in advance. Like we were doing this, we had no idea what we were going to do once we got there, we just booked it, set all the dates like Ken, you know, the

podcast

, our videos just scheduled, breaking everything down and we went and I don't know what is it.

It's wrong with me as an adult, like it's a normal thing to take time off for weeks, take destination vacations, yeah, it's so new, I just didn't do it, yeah, and honey, ten out of ten would recommend it and for those of you who do that. It's already good for you, good for you, yes, you should, it has a very important purpose and it's not just going and you know, do whatever is really good for you, it's mentally going home, yes, yes. I had food poisoning and vomited for probably about ten hours. sure and I would still rate the vacation as how much fun it was it was a great vacation anyway so this year we had this is the week we would be on vacation obviously not but no one is on vacation right now because we are all on vacation quarantine at home those of us who are obeying the quarantine and decided it would be a fun game to play well.

I decided it on my own. This was on my own. I didn't even consult you. I just did it. I was going to look for some. extravagant vacation Wow, so we can all dream, so we could all go on a virtual vacation together, so you, but you will be Kishin, pee, you know, move over the one behind you, you, you, you come with us on vacation, so what did you just do? tell him the move, don't worry about it, so I have five, let's make a game out of that because I thought it would be fun to not only go through the vacations and decide which one or another, but I'm also going to modify them a little bit, give them a little twist you know, a little julienne twist, do you like that?

I can do that? No, it's intimidating, intimidating my surroundings, you know what I think about what I think, that song, that bird that has a roll of paper towel. in your head, thanks, I have a problem, I watch a lot of news about birds, so I have five different ones, I guess I'll say face to face, like holiday matches, okay, I'll read you the blurb. I found it on Expedia, it's like an article. written by Lili Rogers about all these different wacky, extravagant holidays and what they entail, as just a little paragraph, it's nothing crazy in depth, but I'll read it and then present to you the modifiers I've added to those. vacation and then you can

choose

which one you want to go on okay that sounds good yeah I mean literally any vacation sounds great and some of us I guess it's kind of a vacation because you're at home like maybe you don't have to go to your desk work at your job so it feels different from being at home yes we would all like to go somewhere yes so let's take a vacation together Victoria just this place I think we all liked a nice vacation babe thank you it's okay so let's start in aspen colorado okay i don't want to go anymore not all luxury has to be the beachfront variety and aspen offers ample proof although the jerome hotel has a fabulous pool and its interior charms create a spectacular setting that gives the stunning mountain scenery a run for its money, speaking of running, Aspen Mountain's are legendary and attract both world class skiers and celebrities for some, what's that word? press a key press a key no no ski want a person for a pent-up decadence of skiing go for cocktails and caviar or the caviar cocktail at the monarch and toast to discovering how to spend a tax refund with aplomb befriend a member or join this is this is all this is only for very, very rich people, okay, then We can roast them, yeah, or join the caribou Club yourself, where you should definitely splurge on some Dom Perignon, heaven on earth.

The spa can help you if you hit the slopes or drink too hard. I'll be climbing the steps too hard, I'll probably wait until you understand, these are curated spa packages that rejuvenate tired skin and sore muscles. They basically just said we all have tired skin, wait, so do what all of these are beyond a luxury vacation, but they're all pretty luxurious, yeah, they're definitely like. It's not your average vacation. I had extravagant vacations to

choose

from, so I can just, uh, maybe I don't want to go on any. Well, you haven't even heard my modifiers or Finland's opponent here, okay, sorry, selca, Finland.

Priceless experiences can be of great help. moment or the result of careful planning, with luck you will find both in Finnish Lapland. Include snowmobile rides and animal tours with Lapland safaris in your itinerary and you don't know what you'll see or feel in the open, snowy lands. You can prepare for magical moments at Cox. Lawton slot tenman our Arctic Resort whatever form it takes, from Glu glimpsing the Northern Lights from a reindeer sleigh or the comfort of a private glass-domed igloo to skiing the slopes of Serra Selca, you're sure to experience extraordinary things, it's okay, ready, now you're going to vote between Aspen Colorado and Syrus Elka Finland and I'm going to read you what they didn't include, so in Aspen you have a private jacuzzi in your rooms, but the jacuzzi is a time machine, Julien the Mountain ski has a minimum downhill speed limit of 35 miles per hour.

If you go less than 35 miles per hour, they will see you and you will have to pay them more money for going slow. Also, there is no water to drink, there are only snowballs in Finland. If you go out to see the northern lights and they are not visible you have to call them to do yoga all night I can't sleep you have to do yoga all night until the northern lights up here that's how the northern lights work. To be scientific, you must take a nap inside an igloo every day at 2:00 p.m. m. pong, you have to look at me naked during a nap.

Additionally, every wall of your rooms in your house is glass and transparent, so there is literally no privacy. So where would you like to go? Would you like to go to Aspen's high-flying ski mountain? Colorado where there is no water to drink just snowballs or you would go to Finland or you have to take naps and igloos and something in the northern lights with yoga I'm not very bad at yoga I don't go to Aspen I don't want to ski let alone slower than 30 miles and 35 marks five or not I will die for embezzlement I don't know how to ski well you can go fast Do you want me to answer your question?

Yes, sorry, I will die. I do not do it.going to Aspen is fine I don't care if everyone sees me naked and if I have to do yoga all night or maybe I don't want to see the northern lights and I'll just sleep whatever you can't you have to do yoga no you literally don't have to do it or you will be arrested well then I will enjoy my naked nap in my glass igloo and do yoga all night. I'll be a backwards person and I'll sleep during the day, but I want to go to Aspen to go to Aspen I'm not going to go with you and I'm not going to get into that jacuzzi time machine oh, it's the jacuzzi time machine from the movie Machine from hot tub time yes I have that and also from the movie Hot Tub Time Machine 2 I also don't want to go somewhere cold.

I don't ski. I don't like winners. They are both cold places. I know I don't want to go to either. How about Rochester at all? He would meet me someday. I can not answer. What if you asked me? Do you even want to? I know the answer I feel like someday it would be nice to travel somewhere cold to explore and see things I haven't seen, but for now, because I only take one vacation a year and I just started last year with zero, this year can. I'm not going anywhere, it's still not exactly what I want to spend my money on and do.

You hate them both, but you will choose Finland. I hate them both, but what about the caviar lounge in Aspen? No, no, I, I'm not excited. no, no caviar lounge, no caviar, no caviar drinks, no, how about they have something new called caviar to go and you put it in a coffee cup and drink it like it's coffee? I'm going to throw up, okay, we continue, we go between carmel-by-the-sea California versus Tuscany Italy carmel-by-the-sea California The relaxed charm of California meets the pleasures of the good life in Carmel-by-the -what better introduction to the area than through the great lady of Carmel will apply a Carmel oh, that's the same phrase once the palatial palatial home and salon of local artists the historic hotel uses classic Californian comfort with its Beachside location near quaint wineries and hiking trails you love After a champagne brunch and a quick dip in the pool, check out the shops at Carmel Plaza and indulge in Tiffany and Co. head to cush Day Spa khush day spa for a quick facial or book a spa package for an afternoon of pampering before calling it a night let lab elena transport your luggage to Tuscany with fresh handmade pasta and that's okay, more on transporting food weight , why don't I say luggage?

It's this, transport your language to Tuscany, okay, that's so strange that they would say transport your language to Tuscany and then the next location is Do you like Tuscany? What are you making me choose between false ideas of Tuscany in Tuscany? Anyway, classic pasta. Anyway you get the idea. Moving on to Tuscany, Italy, or you could see Tuscany in person. Eat, pray, love, through this extraordinary landscape. Eat Pray Love. Path through it wit that is both ancient and fresh at the same time Castiglione del Bosco is one of the oldest estates in the region and offers modern comforts and tempting, warm sweets.

Lazily gaze out over the Tuscan hills as you dine with a swirl of wine on the terrace. from Ristorante Campo del Drago Reach Zen levels of serenity at the hotel spas Enjoy the sauna Steam bath Relaxation lounge and private garden Take a cooking class Rent a bike Yes Join a wine tasting tour and fall in love with the wonderful That's life That might sound good, wait, can I before you give me the modifiers? Can I just react ahead of time and give you my thoughts right here? What the hell are you going to throw at me?

No, it's great. I trust myself. I've gone. these are good carmel-by-the-sea is beautiful, have you been there? Yes, but it's on the way when we go to visit my brother Julian in the area, okay, I think it's super beautiful, but like I said, since it's on the way where we're going to visit my brother. I'm not sure if he would go there as if he were on vacation. He would feel a little bit because we live in Southern California. It's probably too similar for me to completely feel like I've gone somewhere. You know, yes, Carmen. don't get on the table sounds lovely, although I would love to go, but I think I'd rather go to Tuscany, Italy.

Okay, that's your first impression. Yes, it sounds lovely. I've never been to Italy. Now let me add some modifiers to you. Okay, okay, so in Carmel you're staying at an artist's house and the artists whose house it belongs to are constantly telling you to shut up, okay, because you're being too loud, you know how they say, you can go enjoy some Tiffany Co in Carmel Plaza, yes, I'm sure every store in Carmel Paus is Tiffany Co. Okay, all of them, there isn't a single other business, there are just streets lined with Tiffany. No that's all. There's no food.

Pastas are illegal in that county. What happened to my language transportation? to Tuscany your tongue will be transported to jail if you eat pasta. Oh, then think about another kitchen because you don't have pasta and Carmel, that's sad. I love pasta. Okay, now make the modifiers for Tuscany. Remember it says Eat, Pray, Love. This extraordinary lens and landscape, while you are on your trip to Tuscany, you have to start every sentence with Eat, Pray, Love, okay, okay, I can do that, you can only consume from camel backs, okay, totally depressed , look at me, the cooking classes you take are taught by me okay, he's on board, yeah, okay, where's the catch?

Rented bicycles can only fly, okay, they can't ride on the ground. I won't, honey, don't write random ammonia, you're going for a ride on a rented bike, that's a bike. She says that's how you can, she achieves similar levels of relaxation with a flying bike. She says okay, so what's it going to be? Carmela Tuscany Tuscany someone wants some pasta, boy, I want pasta, boy, okay, then you choose Toscana, yes, sounds lovely, well done. I'd love to go to Toscana Squarespace this episode is brought to you by Squarespace squares face is a visual drag-and-drop website builder with a super-intuitive editor and 24/7 customer support via email or chat at alive.

You can also join the live webinar if you are building your website and need help with certain functionality, they are there to help you if you have seen the ad with Keanu Reaves, you know that Keanu Reeves uses Squarespace and also Idris Elba, they are both amazing. people and have their websites based on Squarespace Squarespace is a really great platform if you're trying to build a small business and you have a website for it or if it's just a hobby, if you want to put your art or your photography or you want to have maybe an event and you want to go to a website because I do a Squarespace it's super easy you're an event you own everything I know I don't know what that is you own all the content that you put on the Squarespace platform okay and they can make it look good on all devices, such as an iPad, tablet, phone or desktop computer.

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They educate me very quickly. Plus, when you enter your email, you're also entered to win a $250 Visa gift card that you can spend on something for yourself or someone else. I'm not going to judge you, thank you sponsor, thank you sponsors, okay, go ahead, we have three more holiday contests coming up in Saint Moritz, Switzerland, okay, that sounds good, if you like luxury, it's called Sparkle and Ice, walk in the winter wonderland of St. Moritz will suit you, come to town during the white grass, the annual ski, during what is a ski, drink, ski competition that attracts the CREM of elite sports enthusiasts, there are not too many , there aren't too many athletic events that consider the winner as King, but this is no ordinary event, so literally, if you are a woman and you win this event, you are the king.

Horse racing is not gourmet bites and flowing champagne has made this a top winter destination for decades. I booked a room at Bad Roots Palace Hotel where the indoor pool has a 180-degree floor-to-ceiling view of Gaudin's mountain scenes, and you'll also find a hot water bottle tucked between your sheets at night. Oh, it keeps your feet warm, a hot water bottle, yes, that's it. what people used to do for you like, oh, so not to drink, no, because I was like: why are they talking about water in your bed and also why is it hot? a drink at your favorite cozy local polo bar, this all sounds so good with its convenient proximity to your hotel and being on the premises, that's what it says, it literally says don't worry so much if the bartender has a stiff board, OK? goes against Greenwich Greenwich Connecticut is fine with four beaches historic charm and a tendency to attract the rich Greenwich Greenwich my brain stopped working a long time ago Greenwich that's pronounced cream gotta know a thing or two about living the luxurious life Delamar Greenwich Harbor Hotel we will put you up in a luxurious suite with harbor views.

Order breakfast. Book a spa treatment and let everyday worries be a thing of the past. Plan a day on the course at the Tamarack County Club. I can't read Tamarac Country Club or take a tour of the bush Holly house for a bit of local history become a patron of the visual arts at the Flynn Gallery then relax with a pint at the ginger man or mix up a cocktail at the national before dinner at Thomas Ankle Minh. I don't know what all that means. anyway go to st. Moritz, so what they forgot to tell you was wait, can I react?

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot guys, so there's a lot of content I'm trying to produce here, so my first reaction is I don't want to go to any of those places, yeah. We know you don't want to go somewhere cold. I do not want to go. I also like Aspen or a lot of these places. I feel very uncomfortable if places are too nice because I am not a fancy person. You know this whole thing well. The game is wrong for you exactly, yeah, it's like I have to go somewhere where I can feel comfortable because I'm not one of fancy people mm-hmm.

I feel that, so I don't want to. I would like to go to Switzerland but maybe not fancy people part I can go somewhere else and why do I have to ski I don't want to ski well listen you don't have to ski I also think that word is pronounced Greenwich and I don't want to go there because I had to go there several times a year in college because we played softball with them. I'm certainly not going to eat on a plane to go on vacation to Greenwich Connecticut, what's it called? It must be fine, thank you, well you have, you haven't.

I heard what they haven't told you: we beat them st. Moritz, the only thing on TV at your local hotel or resort is the ski touring competition, you are Candace, that's all you can watch, room service is all ice and there are no other humans staying in the hotel, just horses, okay, that sounds good. that's a selling point, but the only room service is ice, but you can get food elsewhere, yes, but not room service, and the only thing you can watch is the ski competition. Can you bring Netflix? No, because if you bring Netflix or a laptop. you open your screen and automatically it's the ski drink that allows you to bring a book no, they will hack your book there is no position inside your book that's ridiculous well, it's my game so it's fine, yes, with Greenwich, all the restaurants in the city are a Guy Fieri franchise, ok that's kind of a bonus, you might be there, you never know, I don't know how much we can do it.

I'm not done yet, all the beaches are bare, they will literally arrest you if you have pants on, you have to be. bottom naked, which means the lower part of your body cannot have clothes, you can only dine if you play golf below 80 in theCountry Club, you have to get over 80 and if you don't you go back to the course and if not you get over 80. you're not eating a lick of food, good luck surviving if you suck your golf, welcome home to Grandma, if you take the historical tour you will have to take a pop quiz and if you don't get an A you won't be able to leave the museum so there are a couple of traps, I don't want to be passive, news, you might be hungry, no, I could probably pass that test, but for what it's going to be, bottoming naked and not eating anything, oh you can't eat, just break an 80 and then you can make the whole guy fear your food, that doesn't sound so bad because at least I have fries, I'll go to the first one you go to st.

Moritz, yes, then you will only eat ice. No, that's not what you said. You said only room service. Vacations are all about room service. Then, what are you going to do? No, they are not. I disagree. I don't think so, literally not. I think they're okay I think that's okay, go ahead and say all the guests are horses sounds pretty good, don't make any noise. I don't care, I might pet them, but they're not in pens, you're in a hotel. rooms I don't care, they won't be comfortable, they'll be kicking the walls really loudly because they're probably ordering some room service, they'll be watching the skiing during the competition at full volume, there might be a hose going through the wall on something on the poop holiday of horses oh gosh, the maintenance crew also rides horses, the tractor, okay, okay, then we have Park City Utah, if you want to go to Park City Utah, what about this woman who wrote this thing that we clearly wanted? going skiing very bad it's good there are other places to vacation what about couples and other things to do on vacation? she.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she could have written this article remotely from her ski vacation. Oh, whether you come skiing or Explorer, Park City will treat you to either option. Park City will treat you with kid gloves or Park City Utah King, come here after an unforgettable day of skiing. The slopes are hiking trails that allow you to enjoy some rest and relaxation. What's on our shelf. Kick back and relax. The five-star spa offers treatments like ski boot relief with the salt and honey scrub. Stop it for a second. I'm so tired of her talking about it.

It's okay, all of this has the same respect. like we're roasting this a little bit I respect this person and what he does for a living is a joke but I don't want to ski and I don't care about all these spas I decided a long time ago I really don't like spas having my strangers touch you I don't like that touch me, that's fine, me neither, I'm a cold-hearted Virgo and I want you to take your hands off me because I don't know you, we had a couples massage. On our last holiday I had to pee all the time, it wasn't pleasant.

I mean, it just wasn't the worst, but I definitely like it. I'm not the type of person who would enjoy it. I like it if you give it to me. a massage or how someone I know gives me a massage I don't understand, we'll get to that I really don't enjoy a stranger's hands just like my whole body, it's very hard for me to relax enough and I had to pee all the time they offer treatments like ski boot relief with salt and honey scrub, relaxing stone massage and the Aspen Oasis, a warm body wrap and a rain bath for an unforgettable meal, visit J&G grill, you will enjoy beautiful views and a mind that melt trying what's up menu Fox School of Wine hosts events like fine art whiskey and wine or guests invited to enjoy all three, be sure to stroll down historic Main Street, we're shopping and the dining options are great, so that is to take on Bora Bora Wow French Polynesia is not a place to go skiing When you imagine the perfect vacation, the iconic image of a thatched cabin over turquoise waters probably comes to mind, whether you know it or not, you're dreaming about Bora Bora, is a is home to two hotels like the Intercontinental Bora Bora Resort and the Philosopher, which fit the bill exactly.

You can practically jump out of bed into the warm waters and can take a double dip in the deck pools offered by some of the rooms. You're on a water excursion with a private sunset cruise that includes champagne and dinner on your own secluded islet. Spend an afternoon at the Bora Bora Yacht Club, where you can indulge in fine cuisine in pristine surroundings. Okay, Bora Bora, I want to go. Bora Bora and not Park City Utah, maybe you'll reconsider that I think Utah is pretty. I've never actually been, but I'd rather you'd never been. I want to take you to Utah.

I want to take you in a caravan and we. I'll just drive through your time to see, that's the kind of thing I'd be into, we can go to Zion and meet me in Moab and we can go look at all the stars. I'm in the forest and no. I have to see someone like that. I really like that anyway. I am a tree person. Okay, are you ever just a tree person? Sometimes. Yeah, I just feel a lot more comfortable if what you're wearing doesn't matter and everything just doesn't. Doesn't matter, I agree, he's much more likely to be relaxed.

I even agree on a note we made after our last vacation, if you say the resort was next time, maybe we'll stay somewhere more private, like some air being me. or something like that because sometimes it felt like people dressed up to go to breakfast and we just wanted to wear our I want to look like a mess. I'm on vacation, not that I don't look like a mess. Like it's all day, every day, but as you know, I want to continue that streak of hard work that I have going for me, yeah, anyway, the only alcohol you can consume in Park City.

First I'll choose Park City are ski drinks. not near beer, you know all alcohol has to be drunk in a ski shop, you know, the shadows of skiing, you know, it's when a ski like that one you ski on, yeah, it has shot glasses attached to it, yeah, There is a line of people who stand there and do like this. I didn't think it was called ski shooting. I think it is anyway. Water, soft drinks, liquor, wine, all have to be consumed in ski shots. Okay, the stone massage is given to you by Nic Cage. Okay, he'd let him touch me platonically on the back and The world-famous shopping on historic Main Street is over and you're overrun with rats.

I don't care about rats either, so I'm trying to make the parks more attractive here, okay, bora-bora, what did you do at night? The water fills. lava okay this is a minecraft more or less yeah who is your team if you fall in it you die if you want all the water to turn into lava tonight the only way to go to the bathroom is to dive to the bottom of the water , okay and use the underwater urinal. I don't make the rules, except that I make the rules. If you have to go to the bathroom at night, then you just dive through the lava to the port and it tells you that there is a special portal. where you can just go to the Porta Potty, okay, I can modify that, how about this? to pee, you have to pee in the water, so you have to jump in, you know you can't get, you can't get your business. done without getting wet, okay, you have to jump in the water to pee right under your hat, cool off and poop, and last but not least, you're there at the same time as a retreat from an influential beauty brand that's on brain removal, although it's someone I know. of my friends just all the videos they like booked all the cool places wherever you stay and they have parties every night yeah and you can't go and everyone is vlogging oh I'm going to Park.

Utah City I scared you away from Bora Bora oh no, that's so sad, okay Chang, the right island off Irvington, Virginia is the next trip to Thailand, hidden in the north of the country. Chiang Rai offers a true escape from the daily grind, remote, lush and unique. This place is made for those who want a unique experience. Stay at Four Seasons Golden Triangle Tented Campground. Why do we have to stay at the Four Seasons, where you can meet elephants, explore lush jungles, and gaze out over the land from your elevated terrace jacuzzi? luxury tent enjoy a massage in an outdoor treatment room don't schedule a private yoga class at the spa visit various tents throughout the property to dine with new friends and other guests or head to the winery to a private dinner if the surrounding flora has you wanting another type of green head for the nearby water for Valley Golf Club.

I thought I was going to advertise marijuana for a day in the fields. Often, well, yoga is seemingly everywhere during the holidays. People like to sleep in and know that having a tee time without doing anything Erving Tanvir jigna What I sleep in the most during that tee time is the waterfront charm and small town house eNOS makes Irvington an escape attractive Virginia's beautiful sailing tours golfing wine tasting and picnics in the park are on par, on par for the countryside in this historic town, although small, packs a big punch when it comes to the good things of life, stay with the tides in our deep soaking tubs, a secluded marina, fine dining in a therapeutic spa, all at your disposal to dispel your worries. city ​​for shopping find new decorations for yourself or for the home objects art or more pick up a gift or dinner pick up a gift or dinner we're in the dandelion that's weird now that you have rags what it does is that things Now that you've got the rags, head back to your accommodation, why are you rushing like that to dine at the hotel's Chesapeake restaurant for some of the best food in Irvington?

Ok, Chiang Rai first, so you know how they said you're staying at the Four Seasons. Now it's the five seasons. You can ask me what the fifth season is. What is the problem? The private yoga class is super private and personal, but also anyone can join for free and anyone who wants the free buffet breakfast should attend. Okay, the wine. the basement has a one way door, oh my god, so you'll never be able to get out properly, you just can't use the door, how do you get out? dig for something good, like a rat, well that sounds great, eat some pad thai.

I won't go to the winery and I won't go to yoga. Well, it's private and very secluded, but everyone who wants you to go to the breakfast buffet must be. I don't want to eat at the breakfast buffet, but you were forced to. go to yoga class you have a yoga class dismissal time I don't have a yoga class dismissal time maybe one not okay Irving the whole resort is one big escape room okay never I've made this escape room so I'd be on vacation, you're just trying to escape. I'd be depressed for at least the first few days hoping that every staff member would be dressed up as Colonel Sanders.

I don't care that he never breaks character. Okay, that's the same thing as saying. that every member of staff at that other hotel is a horse. I feel like I can fix it. Okay, they have a virtual reality TV viewing experience in their hotel, but they can only watch The Big Bang Theory with Morse code narration as the audio track if they're watching someone. above, if you look someone in the eye they will kick you out, don't make eye contact, don't make ten nervous, you won't, so imagine the Big Bang Theory virtual reality experience and all you will hear is the good part, but the laughter remains the same. there are thoughts initial reaction, let's go to Thailand really yeah, okay, even though season five is loud, even though season five is loud, okay, I don't want to be in a place where they'll kick me out if I make eye contact with them. someone just wears sunglasses and can't make out the solution, but doesn't really want to go to any of them, well you have to do it, so it's okay, I still prefer to go to Tyler's, so everything.

No I'll see you at everything you can go to Irvington okay I'm glad you chose Thailand because I'll be in Irvington so GG well we're not going to any of these places because we're stuck at home so anyway It reminds me that there is no place like home and sometimes I would rather stay here, well maybe that was the goal, as much as we all want to be on vacation, sometimes you understand that we are lucky to be home, we are lucky to be in home. I hope you enjoyed the game I put together, but anyway that's it.

I wouldn't mind going to a hotel where all the people are horses, although that would be nice, it would smell terrible, but it would be nice. Thank you for listening to us and joining us in this. escape from our reality two delicious delicious vacations delicious, extravagant Julie just wants to go skiing I hope Expedia for giving us an article about skiing that poor woman just wants to ski really bad mm-hmm well, hopefully, I mean, this was written in 2017 hopefully. She, you know, has hit the slopes at least a couple of times since then. I hope so.

Anyway, we'll be back next week with another podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. Choose your vacation if you haven't already. It's Kermit's fault. Oh, blame itKermit and I hope so. You all are staying safe and sticking together so you don't lose your mind while stuck at home, but we appreciate you joining us and we'll see you next week for another one.